9/10
When a man loves
Episode 9
ONE AND HALF MONTH LATER
I have been trying to be the perfect husband and really tried to move on from what had happened between me and my wife. So we haven’t heard from Jay, I just know that he traveled for a business trip. You still remember that day when he called or did he text? I don’t remember how he communicated with me but he told me that he was leaving the country for a few months. So I haven’t been intim-acy with my wife. You know I am still trying to heal, try to forget or erase that image and completely delete her m0@n ing voice which at times echoes inside my head.
Marisa has also been trying to be still loving and caring. We are not acting like strangers in our own home but we are just not being too friendly with each other. I don’t want her to feel unloved that is why today I am working from home.
Marisa hasn’t been feeling well since yesterday, she has been having this running stomach and throwing up as well. I am beginning to think maybe it must have been the cabbage that I took from the farm. Well we had visited my parents during the weekend and Marisa had made me carry cabbage that mum gave her. I am thinking maybe it’s the one causing her stomach ache. If this continues then I will have to take her to the hospital later this afternoon.
‘Vusi,’ she calls out.
‘Hey,’ I said turning my back and got up.
I was sitting at the far edge of the be-d, busy with my l@pt©p. I was actually busy with work but had to st©p for a minute to attend to her. She had just managed to fall asleep for few hours, something like an hour and now she was awake.
‘How are you feeling?’ I ask putting my hand on her forehead.
‘I feel worse.’
‘I should take you to the hospital and I am not getting a no from you,’ I said to her and she just smiled.
I smiled back.
‘Let me just change my clothes and start the car right away.’
‘Okay.’
It pained me a lot to see her in that state, I wish I knew what was wrong with her but we are yet to find out. I changed my clothes and get out of the house to start my car. After I have started it, I walk back inside and take my wife to the car. I drive her to the hospital.
‘Do you nee-d something to eat? At least you should eat something,’ I say as I am having my eyes focused on the television.
‘No, I am okay.’
‘Babe.’
‘Okay, I will eat something on my way back.’
We get at the hospital and step out of the car. We walk hand in hand inside and as soon as the other doctor who knew my wife sees us, he welcomes us with open arms. He goes with us to his office and we sit there. Marisa tells him what has been happening around her, I mean the symptoms of her sickness.
‘Marisa,’ the doctor says and we are paying attention to him, ‘we should do a pregnant tests.’
As soon as he says that, my heart starts beating at an increasing ra-pid race. Of cause Marisa might be pregnant but what do I know. She has never showed those signs before because I can’t give her any children. The possibility of her being pregnant is 99.9% because she never used protec-tion with Jay. Right now I am alre-ady stressed up. If Marisa is pregnant then what am I going to do? What am I going to tell my parents? Right now I don’t want to be stressed up with something that I don’t know about it. I mean she hasn’t done the tests right? Maybe she is not even pregnant. I look at my wife and squee-ze her hand so ti-ghtly. She is obviously scared about the whole issue.
‘I am here for you,’ I say to her and she nods her head.
‘I will do the test,’ she says to the doctor and soon they walk out of the room.
I stayed behind in his office thinking about Marisa and if she is pregnant. Mind you, I haven’t told Liam about what happened when I was away. Yes, he is a very good friend of mine but I just didn’t feel comfortable telling him about Marisa slee-ping with Jay. To be honest, I just didn’t want to be asked so many questions; I didn’t what to be confused by his advice since I didn’t know how to go about with the issue.
Marisa comes back later in the room and she tells me that we have to wait for the results. They usually take long to come but since she was a doctor there, they just had to help her out. So we went out to have some lunch whilst waiting for the results. I couldn’t even eat because of what I was thinking. You know this other day when I was at work, Liam told me that I had lost some weight. Maybe I had because for the past month and weeks, I haven’t been well. You know I have been trying to forget about this Jay guy and what he had done to my marriage. I was trying to keep strong for the sake of Marisa because so many times had I walked into her crying. She was still feeling bad of what she did and if Jay still had that S-x video, I am sure he was going to use it somewhere.
Marisa’s phone rang and it was the doctor calling. We had been out for 2 hours and the results were out. I could see throu-gh her eyes that she was worried and feeling nervous at the same time. She wasn’t the only one you know. If Marisa is pregnant, like I said it before, I don’t know what to do or to say to her. I can’t ask her to ab-ort the unborn child that will be bad of me. I drove her back to the hospital and we got out of the car. I was leading the way as we were walking inside the hospital when she called out my name.
‘What’s wrong?’ I asked waiting for her.
‘I can’t do this.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘What if I am pregnant Vusi then what’s going to happen? Are you going to break up with me?’
To be honest wifey, I have no idea. I don’t know if I should break up with you or keep this child. We all know that Jay is crazy and your mother, she hates me very much. If these two people are combined then it’s a none start for me. Your mother if she finds out that you are pregnant, she will definitely ask me to end our marriage. Dear wifey at this moment I can’t give you any response because I am confused and I am scared. I am scared to lose Maria, I am scared to be alone and I don’t want to end this marriage. I walk back and take her hand.
‘I am not leaving you babe. If you are pregnant, we are keeping this child. Maybe just maybe God wanted things to end this way. I know how much you want to keep this baby.’
‘I don’t know what I want Vusi, this child won’t be easy and what I had with Jay was a mistake.’
‘We can’t call this child a mistake Marisa. It is a blessing from God.’
‘Vusi, why are you doing this?’
‘Doing what Marisa?’
‘Why are you being loving, caring and so supportive? After what I did to you Vusi, I don’t deserve that.’
I feign a smile at her.
‘It’s because I love you Marisa and I will let you keep the baby. I might not be the father and yes people will talk but none of them knows that I can’t give you any children right? They were probably thinking that I wasn’t re-ady to be a father but now I am re-ady to father this child,’ I say to her and she has her tears streaming down on her cheeks.
‘I don’t know what I did to deserve you.’
I took her hand and we walked to the doctor’s office. Each step I was feeling very nervous and honestly don’t think that I was re-ady for this. We walked inside and sat on the chairs.
‘I have your results Marisa.’
‘And?’
‘Congratulations, you are pregnant,’ he says and I am a numb.
Marisa is pregnant and although I knew this was going to happen, I am still shocked. I don’t know if I should be celebr@ting or not. This other s-en-se of mine wanted me to believe that she may not be pregnant but I was wrong right. We soon left the hospital to home and Marisa was quiet. I guess she was confused and didn’t know what to do.
‘I will ab-ort,’ she said and that made me pu-ll over on the other side of the road, ‘I can’t have this baby Vusi.’
I wanted to have this baby even though the situation was complicated. I mean ab-ortion is the same as killing and I wasn’t going to allow her to do that.
‘Jay will make sure to make our lives miserable and I wouldn’t want that, I don’t want to have this baby Vusi.’
I took her hand.
‘I know that the situation is complicated but you know that we can’t do that. I don’t want you to ab-ort, things could go wrong and I might end up losing you in the process. I know this is ha-rd but I am here for you and I will protect this child as if he is mine. I love you too much Marisa and so let’s have this baby.’
Episode 10
I woke up early in the morning and cleaned the house. I didn’t want to wake Marisa up and so I did everything in silence. She was still slee-ping and probably feeling tired. Things hadn’t been well on her side, I am referring to the morning sickness and stuff. I did feel for her you know. We haven’t told anyone about the pregnancy and I don’t know for how long we are going to keep the secret from them. Marisa said that she wasn’t re-ady to let the whole world know that she was pregnant. Anyway I am supposed to go to work and I have been thinking to look for a maid. I know Marisa won’t agree with me but we nee-d a maid.
I am done preparing breakfast for her and walk to our room where she is slee-ping. She took some day off and will go back to work when she is feeling much better. I open the door and walk inside with a tray of food in my hands. I thought I would find her in a de-ep sleep but she is sitting on the be-d,
‘Hey,’ I say to her.
‘Hey you,’ she responds with a bright smile spre-ad across her face.
One week since we got back from the hospital and she hadn’t been this alive. I mean showing off her fine clothes.
‘Someone is in a very good mood today,’ I say placing the tray on the be-d.
I k!ssher on the forehead.
‘I am just happy to be with you here.’
‘How are you feeling sthandwa sami (my love)?’
‘I feel so much better than before. Thanks to you.’
‘What did I do?’
‘You loved me Vusi and I don’t think there is any kind of a man in this world other than you.’
I laugh a little,
‘Don’t make me blus-h with your lies,’ I pla-yfully hit her.
‘But I am being for real. Do you know how lucky I am to be with you? Vusi no matter what happens, I will never let you go, I might end up living with regrets.’
‘Well thank you love. I just try to be who I am. I love you a lot and we have been throu-gh a lot together,’ I held her hand, ‘how is the baby?’
I can’t believe I am asking about the baby. Well the situation was very complicated at first. I didn’t know if I was going to be okay with the fact that my wife was a expecting another man’s child but I just had to accept the situation and move on. After all a child is a blessing from God and maybe He wanted things to end up this way. Why would I want her to get rid of the baby? I hated Jay very much, I did but this child was innocent and my wife was the one carrying that child. I didn’t want to prove to Sharon that indeed Marisa didn’t deserve me but I totally wanted to be the opposite. I have always showed Sharon my true colors and that was me being a good husband to her daughter. She deserved to be loved and that was the truth right.
We haven’t been talking about Jay lately. Well Marisa didn’t want to hear about his name or anything that had to do with him, same as my side. We were better off without him in our lives and we didn’t nee-d him at all. So we were just going to pretend as if he doesn’t exist and move on with our lives. Of cause he was going to find out about the pregnancy, we will cross that bridge when we get there. Right now we are trying to focus on the pres£nt, Marisa being pregnant and being well taken care off.
‘I have been thinking,’ she says when I am pouring the tear in her cu-p.
‘About?’ I say paying attention to her while handing her the cu-p.
‘Thanks,’ she takes the cu-p, ‘About this baby.’
I look at her with that worrisome look, afraid that she will mention ab-ortion. We have talked about the ab-ortion thing and I have told her several times that it wasn’t a very good idea for her to ab-ort. The process could end up killing her or damaging her wo-mb.
‘No, I am not going to ab-ort,’ she says as if she had re-ad my mind.
I sigh a relief and allow her to continue with her story while I mas-sage her legs. Man I am going to be late for work but who cares; my wife nee-ded me the most. You know she was also like my best friend. Every time I had a fight or an argument or misun-derstanding with Liam, I would tell Marisa about it, that’s how close I was with my wife. But you should un-derstand too that when you are married, your wife is close to being your best friend too. You don’t have to look for another friend when you alre-ady have got her in your life. You might actually make her support your favorite team Ars£nal; you know what I am saying. I know women hate soccer but Marisa ended up loving it because she didn’t want me to be meeting up with Jay late at night that was so jealous of her right.
‘I am scared of what will happen if Jay finds out that I am pregnant. I mean my family members will think that you are the father but if Jay is back in the picture, he will tell the truth.’
‘So what’s your suggestion?’
‘What if I leave the country for a while and come back when I have given birth to this child?’
She was ma-king s-en-se but wasn’t she thinking only about herself right now? I mean what about me? How was I going to live without her for 9 months or maybe years? I get it Jay was out to cause trouble for us but leaving the country that thought it never crossed my mind. I was quiet for a while because I didn’t want her to leave but if I tell her the truth right now, it’s obvious she is going to get mad at me and end up thinking that I don’t want to support her. Caught in a ha-rd place.
‘I bet you are thinking that I only care about myself right but this isn’t about me only. I have thought about you too and you can always come to visit me.’
It’s as if though she knows the perfect time to re-ad my mind. No wonder I get along so very well with her, she is supper intelligent right.
‘But I would want you close. Hear with me,’ I honestly say to her.
I just want her to be by my side you know. She mustn’t go throu-gh all this on her own but nee-ds someone to be with her. I wasn’t okay with this idea. I know Jay can be a ha-rd work but I am sure I will try to put him in his place.
‘I don’t want you to be away from me. I hope you will un-derstand that I don’t want you to go far away from me. I nee-d to be here for you and with you.’
‘Vusi.’
‘You know how much I love you Marisa; I don’t have to spell it out for you. I don’t want you to be away, that will kill me.’
‘But Jay.’
‘Yes Jay is a s¢v-mbag, yes he is ha-rd work but we will deal with him together as a family. You don’t nee-d to run away from him.’
‘And yet you prove to me again that you are the only man in this world who loves me so de-eply.’
‘Just eat your food, the baby is hungry.’
‘Aren’t you going to be late for work?’
‘Oh yes work,’ I said getting up and she was laughing, ‘You are laughing, I was busy preparing you something to eat and you are laughing.’
‘Sorry husband.’
‘Wife,’ I am almost at the door when I turn my back, ‘It’s good to see you smile.’
‘You make me smile,’ she says with food in her mouth.
‘I think we nee-d to prepare something again.’
‘I don’t get full,’ she laughs and that makes me laugh too, ‘its funny right but I just want to keep on eating.’
‘Are you sure you are not expecting twins?’
‘You think so? Then you nee-d to buy the whole market and shop filled with food.’
Marisa is funny.
‘You are crazy,’ I say laughingly.
‘Man, I am serious and this food delicious hubby. Let me go get myself some more,’ she says getting off the be-d, ‘and you nee-d to go and bath. You are really going to be late for work. Some bosses.’
‘I can’t get enough of you. I wish I could stay at home again today but you know I have got to meet some people.’
‘I know babe and thank you for being there for me. For being so loving and c..’
I didn’t let her finish off her s£ntence; I gr-ab her and k!ssher so pas-sionately. Damn, I had missed her sweetl-ips. You know I told you that ever since I found out that she sle-pt with Jay, I couldn’t bring myself on k!ss!ngher or even tou-ching her. Not because I felt disgusted by her actions but it just didn’t feel right for me to do that. I let her go and she is looking at me with that look, obviously surprised that I k!$$£d her.
‘I know it’s been long since I did that and I am sorry. I haven’t been showing you affection right? I was just trying to heal and now more than ever, I want to be with you and I have fully forgiven you for what you did.’
‘Thank you Vusi.’
Finally I went to bath and left for work. Sometimes being your own boss is not that good, you might end up going broke you know. Anyway minutes later, I was done with everything and instructed my wife to eat the food that I had prepared for her in the afternoon. I was going to find a maid, so that she can have someone to stay with her when I am not around. I will ask mum if she knows someone at the farm, she might help me out. Well I could use her help. I haven’t told my parents too about the pregnancy thing. Well we haven’t told anyone and I wanted to keep it that way you know. I just didn’t want Marisa to be stressed up that much.
Tbc…