*My Gift*
10
I have my phone next to me as I study throu-ghthe papers in front of me. I have been getting this equation wrong and it’s starting to frustrate me. I don’t have the mind or thinking of living something just because I’m not getting it right. I believe in trying till I get something right.
I’m studded by the phone ringing and when I look on the id called its Lwandle. She didn’t tell me that she will be calling me tonight but I’m glad she did because this studying is proving to be very unfruitful.
“Babe.”
I greet her after answering the phone. I did not plan to call her babe it just happened and I think its because she spent the whole time I was with her calling me babe.
“Unjani? I didn’t know if you would be awake or not but I’m glad you are can’t seem to be able to sleep.”
She tells me and I smile. This is the girls time I’m hearing her talk this much because she is always reserved and quite.
“I’m fine just studying and I can’t seem to be getting this right.”
I whine and she laughs. I don’t know why she is laughing because this is a matter of life and death.
“Don’t laugh wena.”
I shout at her while laughing.
“Do you want me to come by and help you?”
She asks out of the blue.
“Yes please.”
I say without thinking twice. I don’t know how we are going to make it work because my mother might wake up and look for me here. How would I explain having the princess over on the middle of the night.
“Are you sure?”
She says and I can here how unsure she is of the whole situation.
“Yebo I am. Spending time with you today was not that much I miss you”
I say to her and now I’m very sure that I want her to come over. I don’t care about the consequences that might befall me when my mother comes. I used to laugh at Nandipha when she would go out the window to see her boyfriend. I used to think it was childish why not wait for morning but now that I’m in the same situation as her- except having to go out the window I understand why she did it.
“Okay then I will ask my brother to drop me off keh.”
She says and I squeal in excitement.
“Okay I will wait for you.”
I say to her and drop the call. I want to change to something better but I can’t. I can’t risk waking my mother up so I will have go manage with this long dress that makes me look like an old lady with grandchildren.
I pack my books neatly and go to the water drum and pour water inside a jug. I use the water to wipe the dust on my knees and my elbows. Then we-t my hands to brush out the dress that I’m wearing. I look better now more than better even though I wished my clothing was different. I’m glad I have braids because if I had my natural hair I would die from embarra-ssment when Lwandle sees me. I walk out the hut and lot it. It’s a little breezy but I feel like the wind will help me in smelling and feeling fresh.
It does not take a while behind I see head lights shinning straight at me and I know that its Lwandle. I start walking towards the car and she jumps out and goes to the driver’s side window. I can not hear what she is saying to the driver because I have not arrived near them. The window to the bedroom is facing the other side so my mother won’t see the headlights.
When I get to her she pulls me into a hug and she smells manly. The car drives off and it’s not just me and her.
“I thought I was helping you with your work”
She says laughing and I join her as we are going to the river. I think that has became our place and if possible I would like for us to get married there.
“Well that was the plan before I saw you manje I want to spend the whole night with you looking at the stars.”
I tell her and she smiles looking at me. Her smile is because as it always if every other day of her living.
“You have a beautiful smile.”
I tell her out of the blue. I have learnt to accept that my mouth and mind will never work together. They are always working against each other and I have never seem body parts work against each other like thse two. I’m just glad it’s not my mind and my hands because I would still be in grade one when my age mates are in matric. Imagine being the oldest in clas-sand the teachers used you as an example so the other kids do better.
“Thank you I take it from my aunt.”
She tells me and I nod my head. I don’t know much of her family members just her parents and her brother.
“Where does she stay?”
I ask her because this is the first time she is talking about her and because I really want to know.
“EThekwini. I always visit her during the holidays and when I’m not fine. Chances of you finding me there when I’m not fine are high.”
She tells me and I nod my head. Noticing how her eyes sparkle as she is talking about her aunt.
“You love her don’t you?”
I ask her the obvious.
“Yebo. We just get along nje and everytime I’m there I feel home.”
She says and takes my hand in hers and gives it a ki-ss.
“I hear you. I only knew my parents never knew any other extended family members.”
I tell her and we both stay silent till we reach the rock near the sit on top of it.
“This will be our rock.”
She tells me and I smile looking at her.
“Yah it should be.”
I tell her and look up in the sky and look at the sky. I want to count the stars but I’m scared. My mother always said if I counted the stars I would pee on my self, imagine peeing my self as old as I am. I would be the reason people go to other people’s houses to gossip and my ears would itch every single day.
I look over to my side and find Lwandle looking up in the sky. I never imagined that the first time I’m dating it would be a girl and with the short period of time we have been together I have been at my happiest. . I have felt joy before in my life but not like this. Lwandle gives me a reason to wake up every day and be happy. Now most of my days are filled with happiness and even though I have once or twice has crushes on girls back in my early years of high school I have never felt like this about them.
What I feel for Lwandle is different something I have never felt before I don’t know what to say about these feeling.
I think
But I’m not sure
But since I have never felt like this before I think it has to be one thing
Yes it has to be that forbidden feeling you only feel once in your like.
“Lwandle?”
I call call out to her so I can get her attention and she turns to look at me
“Yebo.”
She says with a smile encouraging me to say what I wanted to say to her.
“I love you”
I say it. The thing that has been in my heart and I have not been able to tell her. Now I have told her and this is not the reaction I expected from her. She is not saying anything but just looking at me with a blank stare.
“You love me?”
She asks like she has some form of hearing problem. Like when I was telling her she had ear plugs on.
“Yeka.”
I say not wanting to to embarras-smy self any further. I don’t want to keep on telling her u love her when I can clearly see from her eyes that she does not feel the same way I feel.
“I… I care about about you MaLindi.”
She tells me and I feel like someone is ripping my heart apart. Her saying she cares about me does not make me feel any better it does not make the words that just left her mouth sound any better.
“I need to get going.”
I tell her sliding off the rock. I don’t wait for her to walk with her I just keep walking with her screaming my name behind me. I’m hurt I can feel the fresh hot tears running down my cheecks. Then I feel it her hand grip on mine stopping me from moving any further.
“I should get home.”
I tell her trying to remove my hand from her grip but she is not letting go. Her grip is tight and she is starting to hurt me.
“But we are still talking Lindiwe.”
She says in a shouting voice. Her voice sounding like that of a man. Her voice has always been de-ep since we met but I have noticed that it’s more dee-per when she is angry like right now.
“What’s there to talk about Lwandle I have made a fool out of myself.”
I tell her and now that she is looking at me and I can’t stop the tears that a running down my face. It’s like someone has opened a tap of tears.
“Please stop crying babe.”
She tell me and pulls me into a hug. I keep on crying. I don’t want to be like those girls who love guys and the guy does not love them back. Loving someone and they can’t move on to another person.
“I’m sorry.”
I tell her looking at the white vast and it’s now drenched with my tears.
“No it’s fine. Can we go back and talk now?”
She asks me and I nod my head rapidly fast with my feet moving as she pulls me back to the rock. When we get there she helps me climb it and she sits next to me.
.
.
Tbc