My Gift
11
We are now sitting o the rock and she is looking at me expecting me to answer her question. Which I don’t even know how to answer. How do answer when someone asks you why you are crying. I know why I crying but when I think about saying it with my mouth when I think about the words living my mouth I feel like she will think it’s stupid. That it’s something not worth crying over.
“I’m talking to you MaLindi ukhalelani?”-why are you crying.
She says in a polite voice and I start taking de-ep breaths to calm my breathing so that I can tell her why I’m crying. So that I can tell her how her words cut de-ep.
“You don’t love me Lwandle.”
I tell her and she looks at me like I have said the most stupidest thing to be ever said.
“I care about you babe.”
She says taking my hands into hers and holds them for some time.
“I know this is not what you want to here Kodwa I don’t want to lie to you. I don’t want to make you believe something that is not true I would not be able to live with my self knowing I’m doing that because I know how it feels like but please know that I care about you and I will always care about you.”
She says and I don’t want to understand but I do. I want to believe otherwise but I can’t help it.
“Its fine Lwandle. I just need time to get used to the whole idea.”
I tell her and she nods her head and I’m glad she understands.
“I get it don’t worry about it.”
She tell me and pulls me into a hug. I snuggle closer to her as I inhale her scent and feel it invade my nostrils in a good way.
“You should get home yazi I don’t want you to slack on your school work because of me.”
She says and I nod agreeing with her. I worked ha-rd all my life trying to get a better life than the one I’m living so I’m not about to ruin it.
“You are right I don’t want to fail cabanga failing.”
I tell her and we start laughing as she gets off the rock and also helps me to get off.
We are now walking back to my house and from a distance I can see a car parked near my house.
“Is that your brother?”
I ask her as we keep on walking.
“Yebo he shouted at me the last time I sneaked out and threatened to tell my parents.”
She tells me and from the light provided my the moon I can see her rolling her eyes.
“He is just looking out for you that’s all.”
I tell her and she nods her head like she is agreeing with me but I can tell that she does not agree with me.
“I will see you keh.”
I tell her as I stand outside the gate and pull her into a hug.
“Yebo I will don’t over work yourself neh”
She tells me and I nod my head fast because when I get home I will just go to bed and sleep.
“Go well.”
I tell her and run inside to the bedroom. I open the door really slowly and my mother is sleeping. So with care I take off my clothes and enter inside the bed. I wait for her to move and wake up but she does not. I close my eyes and sleep.
………………
I’m woken up by noise and when I open my eyes my mother is bathing.
“Sawubona Mah.”
I greet her getting out of bed.
“Unjani sisi?”
She asks her as she continues to bath. I know that she placed water for me on the fire so I don’t have to do that.
“Do you want me to iron your clothes for you?”
I ask her heading to the closet and before I reach there I see her nod her head so I pick clothes for her and my uniform then starts ironing. Ik done soon after she is done and I’m jow on my way to the kitchen to take my bathing water. The only reason my mother woke up early today is because she has to live early for woke.
When I’m done with preparing for school I so to Nandipha’s house to go and fetch her. She is a little late today and I’m not sure why I just hope she is okay. My knuckles come in contact with the door as I knock on the door.
“I’m coming.!”
I hear a shouting voice say on the other side of the door.
“I’m sorry I slept late I’m really sorry.”
Nandipha says as soon as she opens the door and she is already carrying her bag. She does not wait for me to answer her she closes the door and we are now on our way to school.
“Why did you sleep late vele?”
I ask her because it’s very unlike her to sleep late. She believes in beauty sleep being the key to starting a good day. She says it’s more important than breakfast.
“Well one of my friends was out gallivanting at night.”
She says with a sarcastic voice and I’m taken by surprise with what she is saying.
“You saw me?”
I ask her because I thought we where very careful. I’m now scared to find out if other people saw me and Lwandle.
“Yebo I did I saw the car parking and when you and Lwandle walked away and when the care went and I thought I should stay by the window to see when you will come back that’s why I slept late.”
She says with her smile on her face like she has achieved the biggest thing on this earth.
“What if someone saw us?”
I ask with my breath changing it pace. I’m scared I feel like I’m about to die and no one can save me right now.
“Can you calm down if someone saw you you would be the talk of the whole village by now.”
She says and I nod my head. She is right news travel very fast in this village. fast-er than the fastest thing on this planet.
“I hope so I don’t want to die I’m still young to die.”
I tell her and she pulls me into a side hug.
“Don’t worry about you won’t die.”
I nod my head even though it does not make me feel any better. We keep walking talking about random stuff till we get to school and we go our separate ways.
I go to the hall and sit down. I come with my phone so I take it and switch it on with a means of it not being seem. I enter WhatsApp and I spend the time before writing talking to Lwandle. I feel very sad when I have to be offline because we have to start writing.
After a long three hours of writing Maths I’m finally out and I’m by the gate waiting for Nandipha. I’m the one who left the exam room as soon as they took our papers so I don’t mind waiting for her.
“Miss what are you doing with that phone.”
I hear Nandipha’s voice behind me as she is mimicking our English teacher.
“Sorry Mam.”
I say to her playing along to her game. We laugh it off as we keep on walking back home.
“When are you seeing your girlfriend?”
She asks me and it hits me that I don’t know when I will see Lwandle again.
“I don’t know yazi.”
I tell her
“Its fine then ca her and ask her simple.”
She tells me and I don’t see anything wrong with what she is saying. So I go and dial Lwandle’s number and it rings.
“Hello?”
I hear a foreign voice say on the other side of the phone. I have never heard the girl’s voice before so I remove the phone from my ears to check if i called the right number and it is the right number so I place it back on my ear.
“Can I please talk to Lwandle.”
I tell the person on the other end.
“Okay let me go give her the phone.”
She tells me and I can hear movements.
“Babe! Lwandle!”
I hear her shout and I stop walking. She called Lwandle babe and I don’t even know what to do with myself but even though I don’t know what to do with myself I can’t seem to bring myself to drop the phone.
“Hello?”
I’m brou-ght back to life by Lwandle’s voice.
“Hie I just ……never mind.”
I tell her and drop the call. She tries to call me back but I do not answer and when I look at Nandipha she looks at me waiting for an explanation.
Tbc