STORY BY DEBORAH PAUL
MY DESIRE
EPISODE 49
JOSHUA’S POV
Did I act like a pervert towards her? is that why she’s acting all strange towards me? jack words kept ringing and ringing in my head that I ended up having a serious headache….. I decided to do downstairs to eat that breakfast that she’s offering……. immediately after breakfast jack left, he said he had some errands to run for bella…. hmmm this love is strong, jack that always like staying around me is now running away from me because his in love…. but how was it easy for him to move on after everything joy did to his heart?
I don’t think I can ever open my heart to anyone every again…. this heart has been hurt more than once and that is enough for me.
After breakfast I went into my room and laid on the bed, I tried to sleep but sleep was far from my eyes…. I carried my laptop and started playing games…. it didn’t take long before I let interest.
I took my phone to chat on Twitter, I know I would get a little joy from there…. I opened Twitter but everything there was boring to me…. I checked WhatsApp and Sonia was online… I said I won’t chat her, I tried I swear I tried to ignore her but I couldn’t so I sent her a ma-ssage.
She didn’t reply me immediately, I waited for about ten minutes yet I reply didn’t come.
“you shouldn’t have chatted her up, what were you expecting? that she would talk to you? stop trying so ha-rd to get her attention Josh”
I scolded myself…..i was about dropping my phone when her reply dropped.
SONIA
sorry I was in the bathroom….you need something?
JOSHUA
I was hoping we could talk…
SONIA
about what? this days we don’t seem to have a meaning conversation without the other party getting pissed off or walking away.
JOSHUA
I’m sorry, I promise not to get piss off today, let’s just seat and talk please.
SONIA
I just finished bathing, let me cream my body and put on something…..I will come to your room.
JOSHUA
I will be waiting.
I dropped my phone, came down from my bed and rearranged the bedspread, I carried my most expensive perfume and spray on my body…. even though I didn’t know why I was trying to ha-rd to impress my maid.
Some minutes later she knocked at my door and I asked her to come inside
SONIA
you called for me
JOSHUA
please seat down.
She gently sat on my bed but very far from me.
JOSHUA
(I cleared my throat)
Sonia
SONIA
yeah?
(she answered looking at me)
JOSHUA
I’m sorry about last night and any other day that I might have offended you.
SONIA
you have never offended you, I’m the one who has been offending you…..because you always run off in the midst of any conversation.
JOSHUA
that’s because you confuse me Sonia
SONIA
I do? how did I do that?
JOSHUA
the other night at you room, you wanted me to stay right? or I thought wrong and stayed against your wish? you know I have never been this close to any woman except my late mum….maybe I had mistaken your body language and had stayed and even sleep on your bed without truly un-derstanding what you actually wanted….. please tell me.
SONIA
(she spoke after a long time)
I didn’t want to talk about it ever because it really pained me…. but since you are so desperate to know what really happened that night I would tell you.
I moved closer to her like I wouldn’t be able to hear her clearly if I stayed very far from her
JOSHUA
please tell me, I’m dying to know why we are breaking apart.
SONIA
you weren’t mistaken Josh, I actually wanted you to stay beside me that night, I really wanted to feel the warmth of your arms around my body…..I wasn’t bold enough to say it out because I was scared, I was scared you will refuse….firstly I’m not your cla-ss, secondly I’m your maid, thirdly you were going to feel awkward because I’m a lady and you have only being with a guy till now…. but you un-derstood my body language and stayed and it made me more happy….. yes it did
JOSHUA
if my staying in your room that night made you happy, why did you throw me out that night and stopped talking to me?
SONIA
because you were still dreaming of Tommy, after everything Tommy did to you and to me…. after I almost lost my life because of his wickedness and selfishness you were still thinking of him…. you cuddled me that night and the next thing that came out of your mouth was “you smell so nice T” I miss you so much T” I couldn’t take it….. it was bad enough that you still have feelings for a man that tried to kill me after one year, but touching me and imagining it’s him was the height of it…. I couldn’t take it, so many things ran throu-ghmy mind that night…. and I concluded that I mean nothing to do, you told me that night that it hurt you more to see me in pain, you said any time my head hurts, your heart breaks because it’s a reminder of the had decision you had to make in dating the wrong guy… but they were all lies, you didn’t care about me, and it’s because you still have feelings for that bas*ard that is why you didn’t have him arrested even though Bruno already told you he found out Tommy’s location…..you told him you wanted karma to deal with him.
I listened to her pour her heart out, as she spoke she cried too and that really hurt me…. how foolish was I to still be dreaming of the same person that hurt me this much?
What exactly did Tommy do to me that I find it very difficult to forget him….. I swear she doesn’t know how much I have tried to forget that ba**ard…I tried to delete our memories together but it just wasn’t working…. yeah, that was how much I loved Tommy.
I hated myself for being insen-sitive, I thought she was just being paranoid for nothing not knowing I had really hurt her.
I moved even more closer to her, I wiped her tears away and another one dropped.
JOSHUA
I can’t even deny it sonia because you are right to be angry with me…. Tommy had being my first love, after Tommy left I met a guy his name was Scott, I dated him for a year then broke up with him….i couldn’t love him the way he deserved, all I wanted was Tommy….. so you can imagine how I felt when I finally saw Tommy…. I swear I didn’t refuse to arrest Tommy because of my feelings for him…. I’m not as wicked as that…..i didn’t have him arrested because I feel karma is the best in dealing with people like Tom….. it might not come from my hand, but I promise you…..karma will deal with him … I’m truly sorry for hurting you.
I was short of words, nothing I was saying that made sense in my own ears… without thinking I grabbed her both hands and said
“teach me how to forget him, teach me how to live without him….. I’m not a woman type but I want to be a woman’s type for you Sonia…. teach me how to be a man who falls in love with a woman….. and not a man who gets attra-cted to his fellow man”
she stare at me in total shock, even I myself was shocked at what I just vomited out of my mouth
STORY BY DEBORAH PAUL
MY DESIRE
EPISODE 50
SONIA’S POV
I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard him say those words…. was he really serious or his just saying those words to make me forgive him?
SONIA
what are you saying Josh?
JOSHUA
(He grabbed my hands)
I’m not joking Sonia, I want you to teach me how to love you…..you have been with me all this while, you never for once judged me or questioned my choice…. you just stayed in a Conner and watched from afar…. I don’t even deserve you Sonia….I don’t.
SONIA
but I don’t even feel anything for you, in fact jack was the one I had feelings for.
(I needed to be truthful)
JOSHUA
you had feelings for jack? was he aware?
SONIA
I never told him, I didn’t have the courage to
JOSHUA
But his dating Bella now, and Bella is your friend
SONIA
and you think I don’t know that? of course I do and that is why I have decided to let go of my feelings for him.
JOSHUA
(he smiled)
what about the guy from yesterday?
SONIA
Eric? I don’t have any feelings for him….. else I would have dated him a long time ago
JOSHUA
So, let’s learn to love each other….. truth is I get confuse with my feelings, sometimes I feel the way Tommy always made me feel whenever I’m with you….and sometimes I just feel like there’s nothing to feel… if you know what I’m talking about.
SONIA
so you are saying you ain’t even sure about your feelings for me?
JOSHUA
I really don’t want to lie to you Sonia, I like you alot but I don’t know if it’s enough to tag is as love… that’s why I want to learn from you, you have a big heart and I’m sure it would be very easy for you to help me love you…. yeah, I want to love a woman and I want that woman to be you…you are just a perfect match for me.
I didn’t know how to handle all this stuffs that we have just talked about…. I felt even more guilty now hearing him say things like this when I have already been paind to make him love me…. after my accident and I came back home, jack never brou-ght up the discussion again, I guess he was scared and guilty at the same time that I had that accident because he got me involved in the first place…. he didn’t want to put me in harm ways again so he didn’t bring up the issue
But will it be okay to make him fall in love with me after I have been paid for it? should I just tell him the truth? or I should try in making him fall in love with me first?
No, maybe I should just tell him the truth now…. what if things didn’t turn out the way I planned it? and he start thinking I deceived him?
SONIA
I don’t think I’m the right girl to do this JJ….. I’m not a good person.
I said and got up from his bed, he got up too and stood behind me.
JOSHUA
you almost died because of my f**lishness Sonia…what proof do I need to confirm that?
SONIA
I took money from Jack to se-duce you and make you fall in love with me… I was on the mission of doing that when Tommy came back into your life.
He was quiet for a while before he spoke again
JOSHUA
how much?
SONIA
two hundred thousand….I collected the money because I know trying to se-duce you would be as good as wasting my time ….and a dream that will never come true…. just take a good look at you and look at me…..how will you ever accept someone like me? I’m from a no background…. how can? just how can?
JOSHUA
why do you belittle yourself like this? why do you feel you ain’t worth a rich man’s love? you are beautiful, you are intelligent….and those are what makes a woman.
SONIA
I don’t know what to say JJ…….I just can’t do what go are asking of me….because I’m not worthy of you.
I said and turn to walk away but his voice stopped me
JOSHUA
I don’t care how much you were paid, I could even pay you more to make me fall in love with you….. how much do you need? tell me….i will give it to you right here and now…. but please don’t tell me you are not worthy.
Why is this guy confusing me? why will he not take no an answer? if he desperately want a woman why not go out there to look for one? yeah I remember jack telling me that Amanda has been on his case for two years, doing everything to make him love her…. she’s cla-ssy, beautiful and rich….why not go for her?
JOSHUA
talk to me please
SONIA
can you give me time to think about it? please?
JOSHUA
how much time do you need?
SONIA
I don’t know….but I need time
JOSHUA
alright, take as much time as you need.
SONIA
thank you…. I will be in my room.
He released my arm and I immediately ran out of his room…. I got to my room and jumped on my bed…. I tried to take a quick nap to clear my head but sleep didn’t come…. soon my alarm rang, it was time to prepare lunch…. i got up from my bed and went downstairs….. I cooked jollof rice and chicken, made orange juice and served him on the dinning table…. i went upstairs to call him for lunch….he was sleeping…. I had to wake him up
SONIA
lunch is ready, you should come eat before it gets cold.
He pulled me into his bed and covered us with the duvet….. he placed his head closer to my ne-ck and inhaled it like he was going to kis-s me there.
JOSHUA
my heart is cold, can you feel it?
SONIA
(I felt unrelaxed)
how can your heart be cold?
JOSHUA
I don’t know too, but I feel it, it’s very cold.
I giggled because it was kind of funny, how possible is that? I pulled away from him to face him…. I was tempted to touch him body…… his whole body was as cold as ice
SONIA
your whole body is cold, it looks like your whole body is freezing…. are you okay?
JOSHUA
I don’t know….do you think I’m okay?
SONIA
I don’t know too….should I turn off the AC? maybe that is why you are this cold.
I tried to get up from the bed to go turn off the AC but he pulled me down to lay back on the bed….. he immediately drew closer to me and wrapped himself around me.
JOSHUA
let’s stay like this, your body is warm….so keep me warm please.
SONIA
I should at least turn it off first
JOSHUA
No, just stay here
(he said in a banish tone)
I couldn’t help but laugh it out…. but I wasn’t okay knowing that he might not be well but acting all tough….. I tried to stand up to at least go off the AC or bring his food but JJ wouldn’t let me out of his sight.
Story continues
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