STORY BY DEBORAH PAUL
MY DESIRE
EPISODE 17
A MONTH AFTER THR SCANDAL
SONIA’S POV
it’s been a month since Joshua came out in the open to confess his ga-y, I know I’m not the closest person to him but I could tell everything was no longer okay, in fact for a while he didn’t even take out time to shave, he was looking so unkempt…. he hardly goes to work, or even come downstairs, whenever I finish cooking , I take his food to his room.
I could still remember a month ago when I turn on the TV and saw my boss kis-sing his fellow man…. I promised myself at that moment I wouldn’t add to the problems his going to face, I promised myself not to be judgemental about it.
I promised myself I wasn’t going to make him feel like Satan because of a sin that we all commit,he might be a ga-y, but who would say they are not without sin? do me a favor to first cast the stone…. stop being an hypocrite….we all sin, just that we sin differently God Judges it equally because his not a man.
Jack came back later that day trying to explain things to Bobo and I but I simply told him.
SONIA
who I’m I to judge who the Lord has not cast away? I really don’t care if his ga-y or bise-xual…or even straight…. I have no right to judge a man.
I saw the kind of surprised look jack gave me but I didn’t care, he might think I’m only saying that just to protect my joy but nah, I was being me… the me that doesn’t poke nose in people’s business, the me that doesn’t judge because I have skeletons in my cu-pboard too.
The next day alot of reporter we’re standing at our gate, I’m fact that kept happening for some days, they would come in the morning and stay at the gate this noon before they leave… I’m sure they all wanted to get the real gist from the horses mouth… JJ knew something like that would happen so he didn’t come back for a while.
One week after they all stopped coming to the house, I’m sure they for tired of waiting for JJ to come tell his own story.
According to Bobo he said things was no longer working good for boss, that some people who invented in his company were pulling out because they didn’t want to have anything to do with a crazy fellow like him.
one morning he drove home, it was the first time I was seeing him since the scandal started, he looked so unhappy but he tried to tuck it in like everything was okay.
I greeted him warmly and asked if he would like anything to eat
JOSHUA
I’m sure you already heard the news, so please, do me a favor, treat me like how other do in front of me… I don’t appreciate pretenders.
I was astonished by his word, does he think I’m pretending not to know his ga-y? or he thinks I’m pretending to he nice when I’m actually furious that his ga-y?
JOSHUA
a lot of my workers have left the company since we are losing shares and face in the business market….. if you feel uncomfortable working here with me, you can be my guest and leave too….. but not without your salary.
He said and turn to walk away but I quickly stopped him, if I didn’t tell him my mind now he would never know and telling him later would mean I had to give it a de-eper thought before coming.
SONIA
JJ, please wait
JOSHUA
(He turn to look at me)
what is it?
SONIA
(I moved closer to him)
I’m not pretending not to know what you said on TV a week ago, because indeed I saw it on the television, everyone was talking about it… in fact I’m surprised the press didn’t show up today, because they
were here the whole of last week like they had nothing better to do with their time…. of course if you are my child and I found out you prefer your gender to the other gender, as an African mum I would slap some senses into your brains…
I paused to swallow hard, one thing i was known for is my boldness to tell you the truth without fear and that was why I said that to my father and he ended up dying because of my harsh words.
SONIA
But hitting you doesnt mean you will no longer be my son, hitting you doesn’t mean the love that I have for you for years would just die, because I hit it won’t make me stop protecting you as my son…. the best I can do for you as a mother is pray for you with so much love in my heart that God who changes the heart of a king would touch your heart and change you…. but you ain’t my son, neither are we related in any way…. was I surprised when I first heard the news? damn yes I was, I was so shocked that I had to go to bobov to confirm it…. but at the gate there I told myself this “Sonia, this is non of your business so mind your business, beside you ain’t any different, your sins might not be the same but you equally ain’t a saint”. … That was what I told myself so sir, I have no right to judge you or leave my work because my boss decided to use his body the way it pleases him…… if you won’t be disappointed sir, I would still like to work with you…. tell me if you need anything eat and I will cook it… please excuse me
I said and ran upstairs into my room…. Ever since then I only see him when I go to his room to give him food.
BACK TO REALITY
I prepared breakfast and took it upstairs to his room, he was in bed, he laid flat facing the ceiling, I could see ray of tear roll down his side cheeks … I dropped the food on the table
SONIA
good morning sir
I greeted even though I knew he wouldn’t answer me, he hasn’t being answering my greetings since the day he came back from God knows where.
SONIA
I brou-ght breakfast, please get up and eat something.
He turned his back against me, I stood there for some seconds not knowing what next to do…. I decided to leave the room to give him time alone but as I try to move my feet it refuse to move.
Slowly I found myself going to the other side of the bed to stand in front of him…my eyes didn’t deceive me the first time, he was actually crying but silently.
SONIA
(I sq-uirt in front of him)
Sir I do not know why you are always locked up in your room, you don’t go out, you ba-rely touch the food I bring to you, you are always sad and look at you…. you look so unkempt…. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but can I tell you a secret?
I waited for him to open his eyes and look at me, I was sure I had his attention before I spoke again.
SONIA
when I was a little girl, my dad would always tell me something…. “it’s better to cry it out than have a heart attack su-cking in pains”. I have no idea what is going on with you, but you can cry in front of me, I promise to forget it and not tell anyone about it.
Just like how my dad’s words work magically on me back then, it worked on JJ too, he broke down and cried like a baby…. he cried so much that I had to start tapping his back slowly to calm down.
STORY BY DEBORAH PAUL
MY DESIRE
EPISODE 18
JOSHUA’S POV
I know you guys are wondering why I had to put everything on the line for just one person…. even I myself wasn’t sure if it’s was love or stupidity but it was what my guts was asking me to do and it seem like the right thing at that moment.
That night Anderson came back from wherever he went to, when he saw that I had been waiting for him, he just went upstairs straight
FLASH BACK
JOSHUA
common babe, don’t he like this
(I said going after him)
He ignored me and walked up until he entered his room, he immediately started taking of his shirt to go take a shower.
JOSHUA
you just came back and you are treating me like this, this isn’t fair you know.
ANDERSON
I think we need a break, we are no longer a child Josh, everyone in my family knows I’m a ga-y, they support it… and that’s why I’m dying to take you to my family….but you have decided to embarra-ss me before my friends and family….. you have hidden me for two years like someone with leprosy…. I can’t continue like that anymore.
JOSHUA
(I tried to touch his hand but he moved)
babe I love you so much, and you know that…all I was asking for is just a little time.
ANDERSON
And two years hasn’t been enough? I gave my life away for two years, my time and all…. I think I need some credit at this point…. your business is already doing so well, you are rich, not even in millions but billions…. when are you planning to introduce me? is it when you make trillion?
JOSHUA
That’s why I’m here baby, I’m here to do whatever you what.
ANDERSON
stop saying that, it piss me off…..”I’m here to do whatever you want”? I’m not a crazy person josh and I would nevt for-ce you to do what you don’t want…. but I won’t be fired to stay with you too.
JOSHUA
you are not forcing me okay? I want to do this, I can think of a plan and a way to tell the whole world that I love you…. but I’m giving you the chance to pick what way you would like us to announce ourselves.
ANDERSON
I’m not angry right now that I can think of anything other think thank breaking up.
JOSHUA
all right, I will just do this…
I brou-ght out my phone, set the camera and started to kis-s him, we kis-sed for about tell minutes before I pulled away from him and made the announcement.
We watched the video, seeing how satisfying it looked I wanted to upload it on my Twitter account but Anderson stopped me.
I wondered why he suddenly didn’t want me to send the video to the internet…. in the morning I woke up oy to found out he had already posted the video and had edited his face in the video leaving just mind… everyone knew I was ga-y, but they were wondering who my partner is.
Different calls were coming into my phone, they wanted to be sure if I was in my right senses when I made a video like that… of course I wasn’t in my right senses, I was a man who was madly in love.
The first few days I didn’t care what people thought of me, I even turn off my phone, the only thing that I kept available was my laptop, I was using it to see the criticism on internet.
It was as if my love has finally left it’shield and came to see the light…. I was happy, very happy, even if my career was ruin in Nigeria I could still go to other countries to start up there…. I have the money to do that
So nothing else really mattered, at least for now.
Just a week and Anderson was already tired of me staying at his place, he started to act up strange and when I decided to confront him…. he told me he needed space that I was choking him with too much love and it’s frustrating.
ANDERSON
honestly I didn’t know things would turn out like this, I didn’t realize you were this popular on the internet…. I didn’t know coming out in the open to announce us would be this stressful for me.
JOSHUA
what are you saying Anderson, but I thought that was what you wanted?
ANDERSON
I thought so too, but I was wrong…. what I really wanted was to break up with you…. I thought I was still in love with you and that was why I was mad that you always hide me like I didn’t matter…. but I was wrong, I was angry because I had fallen out of love with you…. this few days we spent together had made me realize how much we have fallen apart and how much I’m no longer feeling this thing call relationship….. I’m sorry Josh, for all the stress I put you throu-ghbut this is where we drew the line…. it’s over.
How can someone be this cold toward his fellow human, did he not think of what his word and action would do to me?
It was easy for him to just say this and then change his mind the next minute, I have loved Anderson and had never looked at another man since we started dating can he swear that it has been the same for him?
I rushed to him before he could leave the room and grabbed his hand
JOSHUA
maybe you need time to think, about I go home and give you a few days to think this throu-gh?
ANDERSON
even if you give me one year, my answer will still be the same Josh…..I don’t love you anymore
(He spell it out for me to un-derstand)
JOSHUA
since when did you stop loving me? because you can’t tell me it just happened…. you must have realize it for a while.
ANDERSON
let’s not do this please
JOSHUA
of course we should talk about it, you can’t just stand up one morning and feel it’s okay to just ruin my life…. for two years Andy, I have loved you and just you…. can you look me in the eyes and tell me it has been the same for you too?
I looked at him sternly waiting for him to look me eye ball to eye and say that he had been faithful but I guess he still gat some decency left in him.
He silent already said it all, all these years that he has been disturbing me to come out in the open, he has been cheating behind my back too…. my heart tire into pieces, my legs failed me but I mustered courage, I packed my stuff and went back to my house.
I decided to drop by at my office before going home, to my surprise almost haof if my staffs had already tenderd their resignation letters, the ones who stayed behind weren’t any different, they looked at me like an evil man or a dead body that has just woken up from the dead.
Amanda was still around, her face was expressionless so I couldn’t tell if she was okay seeing me or okay knowing the train i had refuse to date her.
Seeing that I wasn’t even welcome in my office, with the pain I had just received from Anderson I decided to go home straight to hide myself and my pain.
I kept that pain bottled in so well until Sonia broke it out…. who is she to make me feel this naive? what gave her the right to make me feel this way? doi look pitiable to her?
story continues
not edited