?ATTITUDE
MEETS
ARROGANCE?
Episode 30
Ciara POV
Finally the D-day was here…The fashion studio was filled with madness, organised madness but madness nevertheless…
Some dancers were late and the model didn’t show up as she called in sick. It was hell of a day..
“Ciara???”Jaxon gr@bb£d my arm when he noticed I was running around like a mad person..
“Jaxon, this is not the time…” I rolled my eyes..
“Calm down or you will go crazy. Everything is going to be fine…”He beamed…
“Jaxon, it’s not the time…” I dropped his hand and when I was about to get back to business he whispered something that to-re my insides into two…
“I really miss you…I wish we could re-live the Maasai Mara moments once again…”
“Don’t to this, we both know we are hurting but the reality is you are not mine…” I walked away…
*******
I could see people waiting in the line re-ady to go into the concert
. There was a thri-ll of excitement in the air unlike in the backstage..
It was packed with dancers, musicians, stylists and hairdressers….
I was busy getting Jaxon re-ady pri-vately and the silence between us was awkward…
“Are we going to live like this??? You ignoring me????”
“Jaxon let me do my job, that’s what you pay me to do…”
“But..” He took my hands in his, “I thought we promised to always be friends…”
“Do you think it’s not ha-rd for me to act friendly and all I want is k!ssyou so bad??? If I can’t have you then I have to stay away from you…”
“Do you think it’s also easy???” He walked closer to me and begun c*ressing my cheeks, “I wish it were different. If you didn’t marry my brother I would have fought for you…”
“I wish I had a time travel machine, i would have gone back in time and made you all mine Jaxon…” We brushed our noses, feeling each other’s pres£nce…
Letting the moment be unforgettable as I allowed him to feel my skin as much as he nee-ded because it sounded more of a goodbye…
“Thank you for choosing me and loving me but I don’t know what the future holds…” His eyes were stung with tears…
“Thank you too for never giving up on me…”
Unlike him I couldn’t fight my tears…
He caged me into his arms and I didn’t want to let go until Jordan got into the room…
“What’s happening here???” He asked but we were both lost in our emotions…
“Goodbye Ciara….”
“plea-se don’t say that….” I pleaded…
“This is our reality my love…” He k!$$£d me on the cheek and left…
“Ciara, what’s going on???” Jordan asked but I chose to ignore him.
I know I had to be strong and act like everything was okay but de-ep down I was breaking..I felt like someone was su-cking life out me…
For once, I felt like he meant his goodbye…He seemed he was re-ady to let go but I wasn’t.
I thought I could do this but now i wasn’t sure…
“Ciara, why are you crying????” He asked once more…
“It’s over Jordan, you won..I don’t know if I can keep my promise.
. How can I look after you while I am breaking inside???” I sobbe-d…
“But you promised,” He cu-mpped my cheeks but I pu-ll-ed back…
“I don’t know what to do anymore, I just want go disappear….” I turned the other way and continued with my crying…It felt like I was mourning…
Jordan wra-pped his arms around my w@!st from behind and squee-zed me ti-ghtly. Maybe I nee-ded it, maybe it was a reminder that he was my reality. But was I re-ady to live with that reality???
“Jordan, I can’t do this…” I dropped his hands from my w@!st and ran out of there…
I went to peep at the crowd and they seem a little bored…Suddenly there was an activity onstage and the lights dimmed on the first artist…
The crowd went wild, jumping, pushing and headban-ging but it wasn’t soothing at all…
So I went back to where all the drama is..The back stage. Jaxon manager had to deal with egos of some of the biggest stars…
Venue employees who pretend to be stars to trick the fans…The musicians who complain not to get enough attention…
The dancers who have to change every now and then and have no time to do their make up right.. The make-up artist who runs up and down…It was crazy but the fun kind of crazy…
Jordan, Sebastian and Sophie were in the VVIP section with other celebrities and prominent people, VIP section was for those who didn’t have the energy to sing along or dance and finally the other section which was for every tom, d!¢k and harry…The energy here was superb but watch out, it gets wild at times..
I helped the stylist get the artists re-ady as others were patiently waiting for their turn in the green room..
The green room was a magical place where artists hang out before getting up on stage.
Suddenly a girl who looks ba-rely 19years old catwalks into the green room like a boss and ten minutes someone is shouting and I heard…
“But you said you would!!! Don’t do this to me..”
There is more shoutings…
“Get out of here…Who said you would come here…” The security guards drag her out of there…
Even though I am a little sad, hanging out in the backstage always lightens up your mood…Odd things always tend to happen..
Different artist perform but I only watch when Jaxon is on stage feeling a little jealous when he has to t©uçh t©uçh other girls…
I always knew the concert would be a success but I never imagined alot of people would show up especially fellow artists to support their own..It felt amazing..
Finally there was still time for wacky faces, some fiercely glam looks and unforgettable ph0to bombs…
It was the last performance by Jaxon and the crowd had the same energy throu-ghout the night..
His last song was different and new..It was a song that made the crowd move in a bizarre alternative dance..
He sat on a stool and took a guitar…
“This song is for a special one who made me un-derstand what it meant to really love. She is my inspiration…”
I could feel my heart beat so fast, I knew it was a song about me but I had to act all cool…
The path seemed dark
All hope was lost
I didn’t know that you would be the one to make me believe in love.
My love my inspiration
My reason that I live
I would moved mountains for you
And drain all the oceans
I know she ain’t you
You knew you ain’t her
But you did all you could do
To make me fall in love again
My love my inspiration
My light and dark
I will hold you hand to eternity
And remind you of your worth
Don’t dim lights, I wanna see your face…
Don’t feel shy to me you look beautiful
I will hold you in my arms
And keep telling how much you mean to me.
My love my inspiration
My happiness and joy
You bring tears to my eyes
Everytime I see you smile…
When he was still singing, I felt tears on my cheeks remembering he had ever told me I was his inspiration..
Then this girl who looked like a model wearing a ruffle one shoulder with embroidered filigree detail walked on stage with flowers…
I thought she was supposed to give them to Jaxon until he went down on one knee…
“Ariana, will you be my girlfriend????”
I staggered backwards, crying profusely, my hand on my mouth…
The room suddenly seemed small and stuffy…I couldn’t breath properly…
Did he say girlfriend???
I ran to his dressing room, gr@bb£d my purse and ran of there…
On my way out, I heard him say, “I am no longer single ladies…”
He is gone..My Jaxon is gone…I lost him..
“Madam, where you are going????” The driver asked me…
“Leave me alone, I will take a cab….”
The cab driver seemed sympathetic, all he did was hand me tissues as I cried like it was the last thing to do..
I looked like a messy scare crow…Smudgedl-ipstick, mascara all over my eyes, my wig and heels in my hands..But I didn’t care..
The words that kept ringing in my head, “Ariana, will you be my girlfriend…”
When we arrived, I ran to the door and the moment Jane opened the door, I hvgged her and begun crying on her shoulders…
“I lost him…He is gone…” That was all I was able to say…
The cab driver stood there in rage asking for his money and I could hear Brian reprimanding him while he paid him..
“Don’t you see she is not well, where is humanity??? All you think about is money…” He slammed the door…
I was so weak on the knees that Max had to carry me to the sofa…
“We are sorry dear, we saw what happened with Jaxon..”Jane said…
“What did I do??? Why I am so unlucky in love. When he held me so ti-ght earlier I thought it was just a simple goodbye but I don’t know why it hurts…I thought I could put myself together but I can’t….” I sobbe-d on her l@ps as she stro-ke my hair…
“Here take some water dear…”Max requested but I pushed the glas-s away..
“Do you want a sh0t of tequila???”Brian asked and Max sl@pped his arm..
“Does she look like she nee-ds tequila???”
“I was just being a friend. How will water make her feel better???”Brian sneered…
“Tampons are on an offer. You nee-d to start wearing one. You are a woman in a man’s b©dy..”
They begun arguing and that was the last thing I nee-ded. When I left, Brian had moved in taking my room..
“I nee-d to be alone…”I went to the room and slammed the door close…
The image of Jaxon on his one knee tormenting my mind…
********
Jordan’s POV
After the shocking surprise from Jaxon, the first thing that rang on my mind was Ciara…
Was she okay???How was she holding up???
I was worried about her but de-ep down I was happy…
I know it may seem selfish but I just wanted her to myself. Right now it may hurt but soon, she would realise I am all she got…
I run to the backstage and there was no sight of her…
“Jaxon, have you seen my wife???” I p@n-ted…
He was busy showing off his new girlfriend to his friends and fellow artists….
“What???”His mood suddenly changed…He looked worried like I was….
“Yes, I can’t find her…”
“Have you asked the driver???”He let his girlfriend hand go and ran out of there like he was in danger…
When I finally caught up with him, I found him interrogating the driver…
“Where is Ciara???”He held him by the collar..
“She said she is leaving with a cab
. She was crying profusely…” He stammered..
“Jordan, let’s go for her…” He retorted running towards the car but I st©pped him…
When Ciara sees him, she would cry in his arms and I would be left there looking like a fool…No, he ain’t gonna be the one to comfort her..
“Jaxon, you just proposed to a girl on stage. You go to her and I will handle my wife.
. ” I gr@bb£d the car keys from his hand, got in the car and drove away…
I don’t know if I was hallucinating but Jaxon seemed de-eply in love with Ciara like she was with him. The fact that he was re-ady to leave everything behind and go look for her confirmed my suspicions. Those two had something going on..
No, maybe I am hallucinating…I am just over thinking…She is his employee, why wouldn’t he be worried????
The first place i thought to look for her, was at her friend’s place…
“What do you want???”Her friend asked the moment she opened the door.
“I want to see my wife…”
“I don’t think you are something she want to see right now…”
Did she just call me something???
“Jordan Marcias, does what he wants…”I pushed her aside and got in…
“Where is my wife???” I ordered and they all ignored me.
I run to the first room there was no sight of her…
When I got inside the second one, I heard the shower running…
I waited for almost twenty minutes, thinking she was taking a shower but she didn’t come out…
“Ciara, are you okay????”
The was no response…
I begun knocking but no reply yet…
“Where is the bathroom’s key???” I asked the moment they c@m£ running to the room.
“There is only one and it’s inside the bathroom…” The girl replied…
“Are you people mad??? What if someone coll@pses in the bathroom???Typical middle clas-s people…”
I saw her b©dy j£rk up from the loud sound of the slamming on the floor…
“We just fixed the door…” One of the boys cried out..
“How much???”I asked and they went silent.
“Here…” I threw ten thousand shillings on his face.
“I bet that’s enough for the door and your big mouth to get Zi-pped…”
There she was looking like a fragile little girl un-der the shower…She seemed pale, cold and weak…
“Ciara, are you okay???” She didn’t move..
“How long has she been here???” I asked…
“For an hour and a half…” The girl stuttered…
I hurriedly got into the shower and took her in my arms…
“Jaxon, did you come for me???” He asked weakly and I nodded..
“Hold in there love..”
She was shivering and the thought of her getting sick was driving me crazy…
“What kind of a friend are you??? How can you be so careless???Go and bring some change of clothes…” I ordered her now crying friend..
I held her close to my che-st but she was still shivering..
The boys brou-ght three more duvets whereas the girl brou-ght a sweater, a pair of sweatp@n-ts, gloves and two pairs of socks…
The boys and I left the room and the girl helped her change from the we-t clothes…
“Jordan, she is running a fever…” The girl c@m£ out sobbing, “What do we do???”
I ran to her and the only words on herl-ips was Jaxon…
I immediately called the doctor who c@m£ and checked her up..
“She will be okay in the morning, just ensure she is warm…” The doctor retorted…
“Thank you doctor.I with walk you out…” I beamed…
Although I felt hurt that she loved Jaxon, i had to be there for her as a friend. I knew and un-derstood the pain she was going throu-gh.
I c@m£ back to the room and found them all emotional. Hypocrites, where were they when she was almost dying beneath the freezing water???
“Get out, I want to be with my wife alone…”
“But…”
I pushed them all out and locked the door..
She seemed a little much better and so I caged her in my arms like a baby…
“Ciara, what did you do???” I asked…
“Jordan, I am so sorry but I can’t fake it right now. The pain inside me is unbearable…” She spoke in a choking voice…
“It’s okay, don’t speak much..
. Today I am here for you as a friend not your husband. Let it all out…” I ru-bbe-d her back in a soothing manner…
“Is this what it feel like to lose who you love??? Unending misery…”
“Yes, Ciara…”
Her tears bec@m£ more uncontrollable, pouring down her cheeks fas-ter now…
“But I didn’t ask for this. All I want is a happy life…”
I was now guilty, I was the cause of her suffering and here I was by her side. What level of hypocrisy is this???
“I know I caused pain and I wanna make things better. I am a cruel human being and i don’t deserve any kind of love…”
She rose from my che-st and placed her hand on my cheek, “You are not a cruel man Jordan, you just in alot of pain…Don’t ever call yourself cruel..”
I couldn’t un-derstand the confused emotions I was feeling. p@rt of me was happy that she had to finally f0rç£ Jaxon out of her heart and the other p@rt was worried about how broken she was…How was she going to pu-ll out of this???
She held me so ti-ght that my heart begun beating foolishly….
“Love, do you want us to go home???” I asked and she shook her head…
I un-derstood that she didn’t want to face Jaxon and I was re-ady to stand by her with what she felt was right…I was even certain I could sleep with her in that so called small room…
She slowly feel asleep and I just watched her sleep incase all this was a dream and in the morning she would be back to her love madness…
I was patience and willing to wait for forever for her…
In the morning, she seemed better but still fragile…
“Do you wanna stay here with your friends???
“No Jordan, I want to go home with you. It’s time to face my reality….” She whispered…
“Good morning,” Her girlfriend slammed the door open, “Breakfast is re-ady…”
“Can’t you knock???” I thun-dered and she shrugged..
“You are in my house Jordan..”
“Etiquette is zero dollars…”
“As if you have etiquette????”
I was about to give her a comeback but Ciara bu-tted in, “Guys enough. I don’t nee-d this early in the morning…”
“Okay Ciara…” We said in unison..
“Jordan, she is Jane my bff and those guys arguing in the living room are Brian and Max…”
This house was like full house, people arguing all the time. I guess that why Ciara is always a chatter box…
“I will walk you to the living room love…” I volunteered…
In the living room, I experienced a different kind of friendsh!p…They seemed happy and they treated each other as family.
They were all re-ady to help Ciara and be her support system when she nee-ded it and I admired it..
“Jane how long have you being friends???” I asked, taking a bite out of a delicious toast…
“Like four years now and we always got each other’s back. We are the fantastic four…” I could see the glow in her face as she looked at each of her friends..
Atleast my heart was contended, if I am ever away I know my wife is in safe hands…
“Do you wanna join us???”One of the boys chuckled and I just smiled…
“You are not my circle of friends….”I pushed the plate of toast aside and placed my hand of my wife’s, “Ciara I guess it’s time to leave. Jane the toasts were amazing…”