?Water Strike?
?.(Crazy compound)?
Genre: Drama (Comedy)
Setting: Lagos, Nigeria
Tags: comedy, R0m-nce??
By: Vickie Dora ✍️
Episode 2
(Wahala)
(Emeka alighted from the bus that brou-ght him to Lagos, the air was a bit smoky as cars and lorries pas-s by in, raising dust in the dusty road. Lots of litters, piled up in one direction giving a foul smell to the environment. His bags were thrown down from the bus by the Conductor, who didn’t even wait for him to take it himself)
Conductor: Move it, move it, move it. w£tin you still dey look, egbon kuro lona( Bros leave the way)( He said referring to Emeka who casted disgusting glares at him)
Emeka: Bro why you kon throw my bag for ground like that na, w£tin happen
Conductor: Hanhann, e ma wo eleyi( Look at this one oo) shey your bag be London ni, abi na billions dey inside ni, oboy clear way make others pas-s joor, abi w£tin e dey talk
Emeka: Whatever, I’m leaving just give me my change
Conductor: Which change be dat one, e be like sey you wan chop slap
Emeka: But I was suppose to collect change now. I gave you #1000, and you said the bus fare is #700, then my change will be #300
Conductor: ogbeni, that one don go o, e bi like say I don give anoda pesin
Emeka: that’s nonsense, guy I really nee-d my change, do you want me to be stranded
Conductor: Bros no follow me talk English oo, na broken I dey hear (He muttered counting some amount of money and dipping it into his side pocket. He jumped immediately into the bus ready for take off
Conductor: (Hitting the driver’s door) Oya driver,,,we move
Emeka: Wait here, you can’t go away without,.,,,,,
Conductor: ogbeni kuro lona( leave the way)(Pushing Emeka) you wan fall pesin ni, baba e( your father)( He cursed, as the car zoomed off)
Emeka: God, what type of problem is this now. Heiii, now I will have to trek to james house ehn. What type of city is this one sef, firstly I was robbed of the little money I had with me by some hoodlums, now this stupid conductor did not give me my change. Mtchewww, I’m even hungry now, well I will see something to eat when I get to the house sha,,,(Picking up his bag, he continued his journey)
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(After walking about a mile, Emeka stopped by a tree to rest before continuing his journey)
Emeka: haa, haaa, my back (He Gr0-n, sitting on a stone un-der the tree. He dropped his bags beside him) I believe I am close to James house, I think the address is No9 Emmanuel street. But I don’t think I’m close to that street oo, because what I’m seeing here now is i-fe-olu-wa street( He muttered finding it ha-rd to pronounce the inscription written of the sign board close to him) (He sighted an old man coming to rest un-der the tree, holding a plastic chair .He decided to ask for the way)
Emeka: Oh thank God, Thank God. Ermm,,,,,,baba,,,,sir,,,,Go…od morning sir, I am really sorry sir, but I really nee-d your help. I am new in this city and I can’t really find my way around, so can you help me with this sir (He said bring out the paper of the address. The old man stare at him not, like a moron, not giving him any reply, as he stares at the paper Emeka gave to him) The address is No 9 Emmanuel street, please can you direct me to that place sir
(The old man continued to stare at him, not saying anything. Instead he nods his head like an agama lizard and waves his hand into the air)
Old man: eaahhh, wae heeei, ahhh ummn beee vbbee, yee
Emeka: Jesus, so,,,this man is even a deaf and dumb, and I have been wasting my time here explaining things he can’t un-derstand, Gish what’s all this. Ok baba, please give me back my paper (He stretched forth his hand to collect it back but the old man hid it un-der his armpit, nit ready to rele-ase it). Oh Jesus, baba what is all this na, give me back my paper, that’s where I wrote the address, or do you want me to get lost, gimme my paper back ooo
(The old man tried to bite his hand as he was about collecting it. He shouted in an annoying voice pointing hands at Emeka. When Emeka noticed that some people are already coming closer to the scene, after hearing the old man when he shouted, he decided to take his leave, leaving the paper with the old man)
Emeka: God punish you this old man, heei, what is that address again oo. Okay,, No 9 Emmanuel street, No 9 Emmanuel street( He continued to say it, so as not to forget) God, I don’t want to regret coming to this place ooo, Ok, Let me ask someone else
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(The three guys were sitted in the room, as James stood to dress up)
Douglas: Bros where are you going to( He yawns, scratching his ne-ck)
James: My cousin might have missed his way, let me go out to the main road if I can sight him. That boy does not know anything about Lagos
Segun: Why can’t you just call him on the phone
James: My phone id down remember, all this Nepa people sef ehhnn
Douglas: Those ones, woo, they will not see any money for bill this time. Abeg buy something when you are coming back oo (He said, standing up to pick a broom)
Segun: But I thought your cousin is coming from the village now
James: Sure (He muttered, arranging his shirt)
Segun: Then he should be bringing some goody goodies na
James: (he scoffs) How sure are you, well lets hope he come with some food items. (Staring at Douglas) Ahn ahn Bros, w£tin? (He asked staring at the broom in his hand)
Douglas: I just want to sleep the room small, you know na, when we are expecting a visitor, we nee-d to clean the house. So that he won’t see us as dirty pigs(He said, casting mocking glares at Segun)
Segun: why are you now staring at me that way
Douglas: Haa, heei ehei, you know why, anyway, raise up your leg let me (He was interrupted by some noise coming from outside)
Segun: Mtchewwww, all this noise again, who be dat one sef
Douglas: Who else if not Oga landlord, only God knows who he is quarelling with. But wait oo, it might be your cousin( He muttered, as james rushed out to see for himself)
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LandLord: Are you not that Jamisi(James) sister,,,
Emeka: Y….e,,,ss, but jemisi…? Sir I don’t get you
LandLord: ahahn, Jemisi(James) naa, omo ibo, that is staying in this compound
Emeka: yes sir, is it james,,yes I am his cousin sir, n,,ot sister
Landlord: Woo, leave it like that, English is English, sister and cousin are the same thing, abi you no know,,,anyways,,,w£tin you bring from the village wey you come. As a landlord I have every right, watch my mouth, every right, to collect the thing wey you bring come from village, at least give me small for inside
Emeka: haa, so you are the landlord sir (The landlord nodded in affirmation). Oh,,,I don’t know oo, eermmmmm heehn ok I have just (Opening his bag, but stopped immediately he sighted James coming towards them) . Oh bro, you are here
James: yes now, hanhan, Emeka, why are you opening your bag. Oga landlord, were did you know my cousin from (He asked with surprise written all over his face)
Landlord: Haa, I just know him now now, I tell him sey make he give me small thing for the thing wey he carry come from village
James: Nooo, oga landlord,,,,,hanhan, this one is a student nawww, he did not come with anything
Landlord: With all this bags
Emeka: Well I ‘m just with some……
James: Books,,,yes,,,books ( james said, patting emeka on his back trying to send a signal to him, which he noticed immediately)
Landlord: Ehnehn, okay na, ehnnn, what about the money wey you say you go give me (he asked referring to James)
James: I will give you nawww, oga landlord the best landlord, I will come and see you okay (He muttered, and led Emeka to the room)
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?Water Strike?
?.(Crazy compound)?
Genre: Drama (Comedy)
Setting: Lagos, Nigeria
Tags: comedy, R0m-nce??
By: Vickie Dora ✍️
Episode 3
(Arrival)
(James banged the door shut immediately they got inside, while the others stare at Emeka like they were good people. Douglas just finish arranging the room, but left some touches undone. Jame faced emeka)
James: Guy, what was that for
Emeka: what
James: do you really want to give that bald head man some things you brou-ght from the village?
Emeka: (he scoffs) you heard what he said, he claim to be the landlord, and said it is his right to collect whatsoever I brou-ght with me
James: and how are you sure he is the landlord, what proof do you have? Anyway, lets leave that apart, how was your journey here, hope it wasn’t stressful
Douglas: wait what am I hearing, did you give that landlord the thing you brou-ght
Segun: is that the way to welcome someone that just arrive this wonderful city
Douglas: ok oo, bros, welcome( Emeka nodded)
Douglas: my name is Douglas, the most handsome boy in this room
James: Jesus,,,sss
Segun: guy you dey mad oo, which kin fine be that one, abegi.. Our dear roommate, you are welcome
Emeka: ermm, roommate? (he muttered shifting his glance to view the while room)
James: yes now
Emeka: do you mean I will also be sleeping inthis same room
James: yes of course
Emeka: but I wasn’t ex,,,
Douglas: Expecting this,,,yea,,,but you are here now, no going back
(Emeka scoffs, and glare at James who was busy checking the bags he brou-ght with him)
Segun: That is your bed, you will be sleeping with Douglas
Douglas: hey hey wait,, and where will you be sleeping
Segun: With James of course
James: mmbanu , no no no, my cousin will sleep with me on my bed, while the both of you will share this other bed
Douglas&Segun: Whatttt!!!!! God forbid!
James: No be only God go forbid em, devil go also forbid,,,idiot
Douglas: Guy come on nawww, you know that Segun sleeps like a pig, this guy no dey wash armpit( He muttered, staring at Segun)
Segun: You nko, shey you dey wash nash, you wey be sey your nash dey smell like goat piss, na so so spit go dey comot for your mouth, abeg I no follow you sleep again
(Emeka was just laughing all throu-ghat the funny comment they make about each other, wonder shall never end. Is this the kind of people he want to spend some years with in this Lagos, he thought)
Douglas: Mtchewwww, guy what did you bring from the village jare, hungry dey fire me for here oo
Emeka: I’m also really hungry here, is there any food I can eat first (he stared at their faces as they gave him no reply, instead they bursted into ha-rd laughter)
Emeka: did I say anything funny
James: They are laughing hungry laugh, this guys can devour you any minute from now, they are damn hungry. But don’t worry, I will get you bread and mineral, so that you can use it to step down. Then they will prepare the rice you brou-ght, that will be our dinner
Emeka: wait wait wait, are you saying that there is nothing like food in this house
Segun: ohoooh, you think you are coming here to meet bread and bu-tter life shey, heeheeheeiii, I laugh in,,,
Douglas: I laugh in my lamguage, yes,,,,,,,
Segun: yes,,,,oga landlord English
Doglas&segun: hahaaahahah( they both laughed)
James: Mtcheww( he hissed) ignore them, they are both crazy, let me go and buy those stuff
Douglas: wait o, james,, so you are even having #500 with you, and you allowed hunger to finish us here since morning
James: I was reserving it for my cousin, at least this is he first time he is visiting the city, we cant welcome hm with hungry stomach na. Douglas, prepare the rice he brou-ght so that we can eat it, I don go oo
(He left immediately, leaving the two to stare at Emeka)
Emeka: (In a confused state) what?
Segun: Bro, if you love yourself, just stand up and cook that food, because the food this mumu here is about to cook, heii, na burnt offering ooo. I wonder where James left his brian, how could he forget easily that Douglas used to burn food
Douglas: that’s a lie
Segun: what is a lie, abegii
Emeka: Anyway, I don’t think I can do that now, I’m stressed out. Getting to Lagos was hectic enough, getting into the kitchen is another stress. I’m already tired if this city wahala (He yawned loudly and slummed on the bed
Douglas: Wait oo, as a first timer in Lagos, tell us your experience why coming here
Segun: yes sure, you must have encountered one thing or the other
Emeka: haaa, it’s not one thing ooo (douglas & segun nodded, enjoying the story as he explains to them his encounter with the hoodlums, conductor and old man. He ended his narration and they busted into serious laughter)
Emeka: I can’t believe all these happened just in one day, is this city like this
Segun: Yea bro, welcome to Lagos
Douglas: not just Lagos, welcome to this compound
Segun: yep
Emeka: is there anything wrong with this compound ( He asked already getting scared)
Douglas: not really, we got lot of babes here you know
Segun: guy, we can’t tell you all, just wait and enjoy your adventure here. You are resuming school here right?
Emeka: yea, unilag
Douglas& Segun: huahha
Segun: don’t worry, you will enjoy Lagos
Douglas: But you will never enjoy this compound
Emeka: why, you are making me scared,,,are there ghost here
Segun: Never mind, just wait and see
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TBC….