THEME: {Where do I belong??}
✍️Written By Precious Pinky✍️
❣️ Episode 21 ❣️
?Cleo’s pov?
~I ran.
I know I look or sound like a coward right now but there was nothing else I could do than to escape that shame and embarra-ssment.
Call me stupid, because I am.
Call me crazy, I won’t mind.
I just… I felt broken, angry and sad.
I like Lexi but it’s clearly obvious that she doesn’t feel the same way for me but I don’t want to lose her as a friend.
I honestly want to have her close to me even if it means just being her friend.
But will that ever be possible?
Will I ever gain back her attention?
I doubt.
She seem happy with her boyfriend, Rowan and trust me I’m happy for her but sometimes,,, I wish she was happy with me and not with him.
I wish my love wasn’t very sinful and painful.
I wish my heart don’t get broken by the person I love….again.
But dammit, who was I kidding? I was fated to be heartbroken and that’s why I grew or should I say, I was fated to become g-ay.
|FLASHBACK|
She just couldn’t take her eyes off her… there was something about the girl she can’t quite figure out.
Probably her smile or her voice was what caught her attention.
But to Cleo, the girl was unique.
“Hey.” The girl waved at her, smiling as she approached her. “Are you new here?”
Cleo nodded her head. “Yeah.”
She stretched out her hand. “I’m Kelly.”
Cleo shook hands with the adorable girl, smiling back at her. “Cleo.”
Kelly nods her head, linking her arms over Cleo’s. “I will be your guardian angel…or should I say school angel.” They both laughed over that silly joke. “Come on,” She pulled Cleo along with her into the building. “I’m an art student, you?”
“Same.”
“Aww, that’s amazing.” She chuckles softly. “I’m studying to become a lawyer.”
“Journalist.” Cleo stated, grinning.
“Not bad.” She winked. “Ah, I need to take you to the principal’s office first. Don’t worry I won’t…”
|END OF FLASHBACK|
“CLEO!” I was brou-ght back to the present as I heard my name from Gwendolyn.
She was standing beside me as she stared at me worriedly.
“Are you alright?” She asked me, quietly.
~She cares.
Actually, Gwen was the only girl to see me throu-ghmy flaws.
She cares for me.
No one has ever cared for me aside from her.
And honestly, I care for her too.
She was amazing, kind, beautiful, smart, wonderful…she is just so special and I’m very glad to have her in my life.
But….
“Cleo?” She called out again, placing her hand on my shoulder.
“Oh.” I ran my we-t tongue over my dried li-ps to moisten it. “I’m…fine. Wait, why are you here?”
She knitted her brows at me. “Really? Is that the best question to ask me, Cleo? You just ran off like that and what, you didn’t expect me to come after you?”
I sighed. “I’m fine, Gwen. Trust me. Besides Lexi wanted to talk to you about something and it’s clear that a third party wasn’t needed.” I shrugged. “I wanted to give you both some space to talk.”
“I wasn’t going to talk to her, Cleo.” She said after hesitating.
“You weren’t? Why?”
She stuffed her hands into her leather hoodie. “There’s obviously nothing for us to talk about.” She paused as if observing my expression. “It’s her, isn’t it?”
I was caught off guard at her question. “Wha…wha…what?” I choked out.
“You don’t have to pretend, Cleo. I saw the way you looked at her.” She pointed out, making me feel more embarra-ssed than I once felt.
Wait,
Could Lexi see the way I look at her?
Fuc-k, was I too obvious?
Dammit!
“That’s how I look at everyone, Gwen. Stop making a-ssumptions.” I gulped.
She smirked. “What a-ssumptions are you talking about?” She was clearly caring to be clueless. Damn this girl.
“You know just what I’m talking about.” I hissed.
“No, I don’t.”
“I don’t like her, Gwen.” I said throu-ghgritted teeth, frowning at Gwendolyn.
“Oh. But I never a-ssumed you like her.”
I know what this girl is trying to play at.
Fuc-k this!
“Then why did you say and I quote, ‘I saw the way you looked at her.’ Huh?” I questioned, folding my arms over my ch-est.
“I never meant anything. Besides I can mean anything by saying that.” She shrugged, smirking.
“Fuc-k shit!” I cursed under my breath.
“So you do like her, huh?” She winked.
I rolled my eyes, letting out a de-ep breath of frustration. “Maybe. But hey, you can’t tell anyone. You saw how they treated you, I don’t want them to treat Lexi that way. I’m sorry for how they treated you. I should have corrected things instead of standing there like a pile of wood and not doing anything! I just didn’t know what to say at that point. I was confuse, sad and angry. I’m sorry, Gwen.” I apologized to her calmly.
“It’s alright. They were fake bimbos who desperately wanted attention.” She said.
“They called you g-ay and…”
“I don’t care!” She cuts me off immediately, not looking at me in the eyes.
She’s lying.
She clearly doesn’t like that.
So why was she pretending “not to care”
It’s fine with me if she hate g-ays but what’s definitely not fine was the fact that she’s pretending to be cool with my kind of se-xuality.
She’s trying not to freak out about my se-xuality.
I hate it.
I hate when the person I trust isn’t clean with me.
I hate feeling disgusted about myself and right now, Gwendolyn was making me feel that very way.
I can’t forget her facial expression when I came out to her and her friends about my se-xuality.
The look of disgust were evident on her face and earlier ago, I saw that same look on her face. Again.
“You don’t?”
“Yeah. It’s not like I’m actually g-ay.” She scoffed.
I should have just let things slide quietly but no, I blew up.
I couldn’t hold onto my anger and pain anymore so,,, I lashed out.
“Of course you are not. After all she hate g-ays.” I accused.
“What?” She looked very confuse at my outburst.
“Listen, I know my kinds su-ck but you don’t have to pretend, Gwen. Yes, I’m disgusting, irritating, annoying, a Fuc-king sinner who still believes in god so please drop the act!”
She didn’t do anything wrong but I just couldn’t hold myself any longer.
The scars….the pain…they were hurting me…they were killing me.
“What…are you even talking about?” She asked me quietly.
“YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT FROM THEM!” I said at the top of my voice.
“Wait, what?”
“You didn’t say all of those things out there because you cared for me and neither did you say it because you wanted to defend my kinds but you only did that because you were mad. Mad at the fact that they called you g-ay.”
She clenched her jaw tightly, glaring at me now. “You don’t trust me?”
“Why should I, Gwen? I’m only just knowing you…I don’t know what you are capable of.”
She took a step back away from me. “I…Fuc-k this. You know what, you are right. I hate g-ays and I hate it when people tag me as one. And yeah, I didn’t defend your as-sout there but I rather just wanted to put that fake bi-tch in her place! Mind you, I am straight. Completely!” Just then a guy walked past us, Gwen caught hold of his wrist and pulled him closer to herself and smashed her li-ps against his.
Few seconds later she drew herself from him.
“Damn girl!” He winked and walked away.
“You see, I’m not like you. And oh, as for that ki-ss we shared,” She clic-ked her tongue. “Tsk, it was clearly a mistake. I wasn’t thinking straight and that’s all. No Fuc-king strings attached!”
~Maybe she never actually cared for me.
She turned to leave but stopped and looked back at me. “I don’t know what you are capable of, Cleo. So yeah, we are both on the same page.” With that said, she left.
What the hell just happened???
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?Gwen’s pov?
What the hell just happened???
How could she say those mean things to me?
How could I say those mean things to her?
Dammit, this is fu-cking crazy.
I truly care for Cleo. She’s the first girl ever I could connect to.
And as funny as this might sound, I trust her completely but she doesn’t.
She doesn’t trust me back.
I know I shouldn’t have said those things to her but hey, what can I do?
I was angry.
Angry for the fact that the girl I trust doesn’t trust me back.
If I really wasn’t defending her as she claimed, why then didn’t I tell everyone the truth?
Why didn’t I correct the misunderstanding and just walk like nothing ever happened?
She obviously didn’t think things throu-ghbefore opening her mouth to speak!
I walked inside the bathroom, turned on the faucet and splashed some cold water on my li-ps, wiping off the ki-ss.
Shit, I shouldn’t have gone too far by ki-ssing that idiot I don’t even know.
I don’t do emotions in case you have forgotten… it’s quite difficult to try to understand her emotions or thoughts.
I knew she liked Alex but I was only trying to lighten up the mood and that was why I acted to be clueless.
She cares for Alex…but what about me?
I stared at my reflection on the mirror, glaring ha-rd at the girl glaring right back at me.
This was frustrating and annoying.
~I hate feeling this damn way!
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?Alexis’s pov?
“They look so damn cute together!” Kathy exclaimed smiling.
“I know right. Although, I never expected Gwen to be g-ay.” Pearl stated.
“Me too but hey, life is full of mysteries.” They both laughed. “Cleo is so lucky to have someone like Gwen stay by her side.”
They kept going on and on about how perfect Cleo and Gwen were together.
Can’t they see how upset I was about this stupid conversation?
Or were they just acting to be blind?
Besides, I see nothing so cute about Gwen and Cleo’s relationship…
What if we are even getting the whole thing wrong?
What if Gwen wasn’t even g-ay?
Simply because they came to school hand in hand doesn’t mean anything, right?
*No, Gwen isn’t my girlfriend.* Cleo had said but no one believed…well I do.
There’s no way Gwen is dating Cleo. Never.
~Are you concern about Gwen dating Cleo or you are actually concerned about Gwen being g-ay?~ My subconsciousness asked me.
I think… I’m concerned about Gwen dating Cleo more than I was about her being g-ay…but why?
~Because you know that if she’s g-ay then you have a chance to be with her~ My subconsciousness answered, making me gasp over my own thought.
No, no, no… I don’t like Gwen se-xually. I’m definitely not g-ay.
I only care for her…as a friend, of course!
I love Rowan and nothing will ever change that. Nothing.
What the hell was I even thinking?
Shit!
“Girls,” I called out to my friends, they both stared at me. “I need your help.”
****To Be Continued****