My Gift
7/8
It has been one week since I last saw Lwandle and I feel indifferent. I want to be mad at her but at the same time the is something at the back of my head that she might be busy but I think the other thought is overpowering everything-the fact that she has lost all interest in me.
Today is a Saturday and I’m happy about that. I’m happy about the fact that I’m not writing today because I don’t think I would have managed. A lot of things have been running throu-ghmy mind that I would have answered how I moss Lwandle on the answer script. Now I hate the fact that my relationship with Lwandle is a secret I hate that I can’t go to the palace and ask if she is fine I also hate the fact that she does not have her place because if she had I was going to be able to go to her house I was going to make a plan unlike st the palace.
“You know ready what’s wrong?”
I recognize nice the voice without lifting my eyes from the book I have been looking at and not understanding the words.
“Ready for what??”
I ask her with my eyes still cast on the book. I don’t want her to see my red eyes. They will give away that I have been crying.
“The ceremony wena its today and you said you would go with me.”
She says and I know that she is lying. I don’t remember saying that I would go with her but if I start arguing with her she might notice that I’m crying.
“I’m sure your book is not that interesting that you can not even look at me wena.”
She adds and not I’m forced to look at her. When I look up she is not near me she has gone to get the chair because I see her walking to the kitchen.
“Talk to me.”
She says sitting next to me and I don’t know where and how to tell her.
“I’m dating.”
I say after some time if thing how to phrase the whole thing to her.
“Ahhhh!”
She says screaming out loud but stops midway and I don’t know why she stopped.
“But you not happy is he not treating you right?”
She asks with anger plastered on her face.
“Not it’s not that it’s…..I’m dating a girl and I have not seen her in a week.”
I tell her and she stops not knowing what to say I would also not know what to say if I was in her situation.
“You lesbian?”
She asks and u think the only reason she is asking is for confirmation.
“Yebo.”
I answer her and she nods her head and does not say anything for a few minutes.
“Where does she stay?”
She asks me and I think the idea has finally sunk in that I’m dating a girl.
“It’s the princess.”
I tell her and she does it again, she screams and then stands up going to the gate. I knew that this was going to dent our friendship now she is going and I will not have a friend.
I hear heavy strides coming my way like someone is running and when I look it’s Nandipha and when she reaches me she throws herself at me and hugs me.
“Sorry I walked out like that I was shocked that’s all.”
She says still hugging me and I get what she is saying.
“Don’t worry about it.”
I tell her and she sits next to me and I know that’s an indication that I should tell her from start to end.
“We first met in the woods. It was one of those days where I was bored and my feet led me to the wood but I got bit by a snake but she helped me and I don’t know I started to feel somehow as I go to now her and we dated but now she has not gotten back to me for a week do you think she lost interest in me like I did something.”
I say and at the end, my voice is breaking at the thought of not being enough for Lwandle.
“Don’t say that if she does not see how beautiful you are and how much of a good person you are she can go to hell for all I care.”
She says and clic-ks her tongue. It does not make me feel better but I give out a faint smile and she smiles back at me.
“Now stand up so we can get ready.”
She says standing up and taking my hand with her.
“I don’t have clothes.”
I say to her and it’s partly true.
“Don’t worry I got you.”
She says living me and running to the bedroom. I’m sure what she is going to do and when she comes out she is carrying a small bag and I know that I’m going to bath at her house.
…………..
We are now on our way to the palace and I’m very nervous. I don’t know what to do with myself but I don’t want to let my friend down so I go with her. When she said she has by back she meant that she went and bought me an outfit that is similar to her even though me and her don’t have the same dressing style. Having to only wear a bra to cover my bre-ast and beads is not part of my style but here I am with it and a mid-thigh-high skirt. I looked because on the mirror and as time goes by I start feeling comfortable with what I’m wearing
“I feel nervous”
I tell her as we are approaching the palace. It’s packed and there is loud music that is playing.
“Don’t worry I’m here for you”
She says holding my bad tight and we enter the premises of the palace. There are already girls dancing wearing traditional wear and there are also those that wear clothes similar to Lwandle’s.
And I see her. She is standing at the far end of the palace talking to her brother and I feel my head skip a few beats. I didn’t think I would see her immediately after arriving but I just did and I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m now pan-ting.
“Come down I got you I promise.”
She a-ssures me and we enter the palace. We are showed where to sit and Nandipha starts with the gossip from how people don’t know how to dress to who is dating who.
My eyes are now looking for Lwandle but I can’t seem to find her which makes me sad.
The drums start playing and she enters walking really slowly and she is wearing differently from how I always see her I’m not consecrated on what the traditional sear is saying but how Lwandle’s body starts moving swiftly to the beat of the drums. Her dance movements slow like a video in slow motion and I feel like crying. How she looks more because and not a sign of being sick but she never came to see me. It’s so weird how you become less important to someone who promised not to hurt you.
She is now kneeling and the sear puts a white necklace around her and as soon as it comes in contact with her skin she starts shaking vigorously that I feel scared for her. There is now commotion and the sear is trying *to hold her on the shoulders trying to calm her. I feel the salty water run down my cheeks and my lungs stop functioning and start functioning the second they stopped.
*
“Are you okay?”
Nandipha says next to me and I nod my head not wanting to ruin the whole mood.
“Don’t worry about me.”
I say after I have gotten my breathing to normal shape and it looks like Lwandle is now fine. She is now back to her slow dancing and everything is back to normal.
I just zone out throu-ghout the whole ceremony and only come back when Nandipha is shaking me telling me that we are now going to eat.
“I can’t wait I’m so hungry.”
She tells me holding my hand and pushing past the people till we spot empty chairs at a table.
“I need to use the bathroom.”
I say to her and she nods her head putting her bag on my sit and I rush around looking for the bathroom. My body comes in contact with another.
“I’m sorry.”
I say and when I look up it’s her Lwandle.
“It’s fine. You look beautiful.”
She says and I don’t know how to respond to her. I had everything planned out in my head on how I would shout and hit her but now that she is in front of me I don’t know how to act or what to do
“Thanks.”
I tell her and I feel her pull me and I’m now forced to follow her to wherever she is leading me to. She opens a door and as soon as the door closes her li-ps come in contact with hers and I freeze in place. When I pull away I slap her.
“Please don’t ever do that uyangizwa?”
She says in the sternest voice I have ever heard from her.
“You left me didn’t even try to see me.”
I say now shouting.
“I said don’t ever hit me uyangizwa wena?”
She says and I don’t answer her back all I do is open the door and go out.
.
.
.
Tbc