My Gift
17
I stand up and go-go her bedroom. I don’t want to hear anything that MaKhumalo has to say. Whatever she says won’t make me feel better right now. It won’t take away the pain that I’m feeling right now. I want to hate her but I can’t. I hate the fact that you cant choose who you love because if I could I would stop loving Lwandle. I would love someone who loved me back and didn’t have so much baggage with them.
“Fuze!”
I hear someone calling me and when I turn to look it’s the Queen. I don’t know what she wants from me because I’m not in the mood. I just want to get my things and go back home. I want to lie on my bed and cry my eyes out. Maybe if I cry a lot the pain will go away.
“Yebo Mah.”
I say turning and going to her. She starts walking and I follow her. I don’t want to seem rude that’s the only reason I’m following her right now. She leads me to a door and opens it. It’s a bedroom and it looks beautiful but not big so I don’t think it’s her bedroom. Maybe it’s one of the many guest bedrooms that they have.
“Come sit next to me sisi.”
She says sitting on the bed and patting the space next to her indicating where I should sit. I take a huge breath and go sit next to her.
“How are you feeling?”
She asks me and I don’t know where to start with my answer to her. So I just come up. with the common lie that I have been telling everyone.
“I’m good. ”
I say and I don’t feel any guilt for lying to her. I don’t blink or hesitate with my answer to her. I don’t want her to start evaluating me and tell me that I can trust her and not hold back on my feels.
“Kodwa that’s a lie nje sisi. I heard you crying”
She says and I look the other way.
“Then I will be fine”
The words live my mouth before I can rethink them. I don’t feel bad for what I just said it’s all her daughter’s fault that I’m feeling like this so she should not act as she cares.
“You a good kid and I know for sure you love my daughter but you don’t deserve this. I guess I know a little about how you feel. When uMageba first became king we had just gotten married. I still needed his attention and love and affection but he was not around most of the time he would be around the village helping people when his wife needed him. Please give it time I know that she was gone for a long time and now she is gone you don’t even know when she is coming back but please give her a chance she loves you.”
She tells me and I nod my head. If I start talking about Lwandle I know that I will start crying again. I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to look weak.
“I hope you guys pas-sthis”
She says and brushes my back.
“Why did I have to love her Kodwa?”
I ask with a breaking voice. I don’t want to cry in front of her but I can’t help the tears that start running down my face.
“We don’t choose who we love sisi Kodwa you love her for a reason don’t worry it will get better I’m sure of that”
She says and I nod my head. We talk about life things in general and after a few hours, I’m on my way back home. I’m thinking about Lwandle and how much I need her right now but she is not here. I don’t feel like going home I don’t want to be alone and end up thinking a lot. When I get by my house I go to Nandipha’s house. I hope she is home last I talked to her she was going to see her boyfriend and I’m not sure if she is back or not. I stand outside the door and debate whether I should knock or not but after some time I end up knocking. I don’t get an answer for a while and when I about to go she opens the door.
“Hie friend. I thought you still with bae what are you doing here?”
She says living the door open and walking towards me.
“She is gone”
I tell her and she looks at me shocked. I feel like her eyes are more popped out than usual.
“How did she die? I’m so sorry my friend”
She says her voice laced with concern and hurt. I can’t help but break into a loud laugh. Why would she even say that?
“She is not dead”
I correct her and I hear her release a de-ep breath.
“Then what do you mean she is gone?”
She says to me and I sit on the stoop and she sits next to me.
“She had one of her episodes and had to go because of it.”
I tell her and she nods like she is in de-ep thoughts.
“Bae was taking me to some party don’t you want to go with me?”
She asks me and I don’t know how to answer her but after some time I nod my head.
“Don’t worry about your mother I have the most perfect lie for her.”
She says and I nod again. Now I can feel the excitement of going to the party. It would be my first time going to a party and I don’t know how it would be like and if I will fit on.
“Come go inside and look for something to wear and mina I will go talk to your mom”
She says standing up and pulling me to stand up with her.
“What are you going to say to her?”
I ask following her as she goes to the gate.
“Don’t worry wena I don’t give a too much lie ngoba you can’t lie”
She says and with that, she is out the gate. I walk back inside the house and go to where she sleeps. I don’t know what I will wear maybe jeans and a long sleeve shirt just in case it gets cold out there.
Nandu has a lot of short things and I don’t want to wear something short. I don’t want to have men drooling over me and things end up happening which I don’t want.
I sit on the bed looking at the outfit I just chose for myself and I don’t if it would do for this party or not.
“You don’t know what to wear Kodwa Lindiwe”
Nandipha says as she enters the room. She is carrying a bag with her and I a-ssume she has clothes inside.
“I told your mom we going to visit my cousin in the near village because you need time away after your heartbreak”
She says and I nod. I’m sure my mother believed her and is not worried because she trusts Nandipha. We have been friends for a long time that she has nothing to worry about.
“A heartbreak Kodwa Nandipha now I will have to explain who I was dating when I go home”
I whine to her and she shakes her head going to the closet.
“I always tell ukuthi the best lie is the one closest to the truth”
She says and turns around carrying a black short dress.
“You will wear this don’t worry it’s not that short”
She says and throws it at me. I take a look at it and I agree with her it’s not that short.
“What will you tell ugogo?”
I ask her and she turns around carrying a pink dress.
“You know she does not have a problem as long as I’m safe”
She says and she is right about that. Nandipha’s grandmother is cool. She is not up in her business and locking her indoors.
“Sizohamba ngo8 so for now let’s catch up”
She says sitting on her bed and looking at me.
………
I’m looking at myself in the mirror and I’m happy with what I see. I look beautiful and like Nandipha said the dress is not too short just short enough for me to be comfortable in. The heels that I’m wearing are also not that high I can do a turn around in them.
“Let’s go before we are late”
She says entering the room. She goes to her bed and gets her side bag and we are out the door. Her boyfriend is the one who will be driving us and I don’t know where he got the car from. I sit in the back and we chat the whole way till we get there.
I get out of the car and Nandipha waits for me and then we go inside the hall. I have lost sight of her boyfriend and she does not seem to mind. She pulls me to the mobile bar inside and orders alcohol for us. I don’t know anything about alcohol so I don’t protest.
“Thatha it tastes like juice”
She says handing me a glas-swith a red substance. I bring the glas-sto my li-ps and it does taste like juice. It’s nice and enjoyable.
“Is this what you do when my sister is not around?”
I hear a voice say behind me. It sounds familiar but I can not point where I know it from.
.
.
.
Tbc