It’s not Love
Episode 3
It was on the 25th day of December. Bridget and her family were returning from the Cinema, when ra-phael suddenly pu-ll-ed over at a fuel station, to get some fuel. Suddenly their daughter requested for a jui-ce and ra-phael asked Bridget to get a pack of jui-ce at the nearby mart, Bridget stepped out of the car to get the jui-ce, she had paid for the jui-ce and was returning to the car when she ran into her male ex schoolmate, “Gideon”.
They were both exchanging plea-santries, and smiling to each other, when ra-phael walked into the scene. Immediately Bridget saw her husband, she bec@m£ tensed but she comported herself and was about to introduce Gideon to her husband, when ra-phael landed a resounding sl@p on her right cheek.
ra-phael who didn’t bother to find out who Gideon was, pounced on Bridget and beat her to a pulp in public. All Gideon’s effort to st©p ra-phael from hitting his wife was futile. As ra-phael was re-ady to fight him too.
“I never knew you are a prostitute, so you thought I won’t see you chatting away with your lover. You are a useless woman” ra-phael cursed her as he pounced on her.
When ra-phael noticed that all eyes were on him, he went into his car and drove off with his daughter, leaving poor Bridget crying in public. Her clothes were torn and her face was swollen. She was stranded as her bag and her phone were inside the car.
Bridget was in pain and at the same time embarras-sed, because everyone was staring at her with sympathy written on their faces.
That day Bridget realized that her husband was a monster and can’t be in love with her.
Gideon was a very kind hearted man, he took his shi-t out and gave Bridget to wear and he walked her to his car and then he drove her down to her parent’s house.
All throu-gh the drive to Bridget’s parent’s house, Gideon wondered why Bridget would end up with such a terrible man.
Gideon knew that Bridget was feeling bad alre-ady, so he didn’t even say a word to her.
Bridget got to her parent’s house and bidded Gideon good bye.
“Gideon, Thank you for everything, I’m so grateful” Bridget said without looking into Gideon’s eyes. It was obvious that she was ashamed.
“Bridget, I’m sorry, as-suming I knew that my pres£nce will cause you this much problem with your husband, I swear I would have greeted you and pas-sed. plea-se forgive me my friend, I didn’t even know that you were married, from today I will start avoiding married women, as I Don’t want this ugly incident that happened today to ever reoccur, I feel so terrible” Gideon entered
But Bridget as-sured him that it was not his fault.
“My marriage has been like this, it’s never your fault, I should be the one apologising, because my husband almost torn your shi-t, he even pushed you down, when you wanted to intervene, plea-se forgive him, I Don’t know what’s wrong with him” Bridget entered in tears while Gideon c@m£ down from his car to console her and then he walked her into her parent’s compound.
For the first time ever, Bridget opened up, to her parents and told them how ra-phael maltreats her, at first her parents didn’t believe her, but when they saw her torn clothes and swollen face, the believed.
Bridget’s father was so furious that he wanted to lock ra-phael up for laying his hands on his only daughter but Bridget’s mother wants to fix the problem instead.
The aged woman tried her best to calm her husband down.
“They are both husband and wife and they must have misun-derstandings once in a while, maybe our daughter was rude to him” Bridget’s mother entered.
But Bridget’s father wasn’t in support of what his wife had said.
“We have been married for more than 30 years, we have two children, Bridget and her brother Stanley, for all these years have I ever la-id my hands on you? Most times, You are rude to me, but I haven’t raised my hands on you, my daughter only said hello to her old friend, who doesn’t know Gideon and Bridget?, they didn’t only attend same University, they have always been friends since their primary school days, my daughter is an adult, ra-phael has no right to control her life, ra-phael is abusing our daughter and I think it’s so pointless for Bridget to continue to stay in a marriage where she is not valued, I’m so disappointed, I never knew ra-phael was a monster, I wouldn’t have gave my only daughter to him, that stupid man disgraced my daughter, beat her up on a special day like today, is he mad, is he out of his s-en-ses?” Bridget’s father thun-dered.
But Bridget’s mother calmed him down.
“ra-phael is only a young man, we will talk some s-en-ses into him and I’m sure he will turn a new leaf” Bridget’s mother concluded.
Bridget’s mother who really wanted her daughter to Remain married for the sake of keeping up appearances tried everything to pacify her husband and to persuade her daughter to return to her matrimonial home.
Bridget knew that her father was right and she nee-ded to stay far away from ra-phael but she was confused.
“what will people say?” “How will i cope with out ra-phael?” Were the thoughts that were running in Bridget’s mind. ra-phael had stole her power and strength and she had concluded that he nee-ded ra-phael in her life.
Bridget had clung on to this idea of the perfect marriage and convinced herself that the way ra-phael was treating her was normal. She had grown to accept his verbal, emotional and physical abuse, thinking that she somehow deserved it. And she was so afraid of being on her own that she would rather prefer to stay with a man who didn’t respect her.
“But I can’t leave this marriage, the whole world will laugh at me” Bridget had thought sadly
She also hated the word ‘divorce’ and was so afraid of the stigma that c@m£ with it that she did everything she could to avoid it, to the detriment of her emotional health and happiness.
Bridget decided to shrug things off and return to her matrimonial home as that felt like the right thing to do.
Episode 4
Being mistreated by the person you love, especially when physical abuse is involved, is one of the most frightening and traumatic experience that a woman can face, and it is ha-rd to know what to do when it happens. A woman who is a victim of violence faces a p@rticularly complicated dilemma. And that’s if she Should stay or go? Although this may seem to be an easy choice, but for a woman who is constantly abused, it’s difficult.
There are many issues that can make it difficult for a victim of domestic violence to leave. In the case of Bridget, she care so much about her honor and what people will say.
But the other reason that kept Bridget in that toxic environment, was her daughter and with the fact that her daughter was with ra-phael made her more eager to go back home that evening. But her father told her to wait till the next day.
“My daughter, you nee-d to relax, this is your home too, your daughter will be safe with her father, plea-se relax and get some rest, first thing tomorrow morning, you can return to your matrimonial home, I have called your husband severally but his phones are off, he knows what he has done and I’m sure he knows that you are here with us, if it’s left to me, I will suggest you stay here with us till he comes here and plead for forgiveness but I know it’s because of your daughter, that’s why you want to return home and if that’s what you want, that’s okay” Bridget’s father entered and Bridget nodded her head sadly.
Her parents tried to cheer her up and they promised to tackle the issue and st©p ra-phael from abusing her. That evening
Bridget lost her appetite as she ba-rely t©uçhed the meal her mother prepared, she kept reminiscing on the incident that happened earlier. She couldn’t believe that ra-phael could beat her up in public.
She felt so defeated and at the same ashamed that Gideon witnessed everything.
Men like ra-phael are not men, but boys masquerading as men. Bridget wonders “what happened to patience and maturity, he didn’t even wait, so I could introduce Gideon to him and I have told him alot about Gideon, he couldn’t even wait till we get home, before descending on me in public on Christmas day, oh this is so disheartening”
All throu-gh that night Bridget was lost in a de-ep thought, she doesn’t un-derstand why a grown man like ra-phael can’t just let a woman he claimed he was in love with, to have a social life of her own.
“Since when did it become a crime, to greet some one you know?” She thought in tears
She can’t wra-p her mind around the fact that ra-phael would treat her so inhumanely, she had always obeyed him, she was a submissive wife, she did everything for him but still he was not satisfied.
Bridget’s thought went back in time, to when they were still d@t!ng, Bridget remembered that ra-phael would incessantly text her to know her whereabouts, and when an answer seems not forthcoming, he will resort to calling her friends too. And he was always throwing all sorts of wild accusations at her.
He always looked throu-gh her text messages, and checks the call log to see who has called her, ra-phael had never trusted her word.
“I thought he loved me so much and that’s why I kept defending myself and proving my innocence to him, I never knew he would become abusive, now see, I’m in a big mess” she told herself with tears flowing from her eyes.
One thing that Bridget had learnt from her toxic marriage was that every relationsh!pought to be about mutual trust and respect.
Ap@rt from that, Bridget had also discovered that ra-phael was selfish too.
ra-phael love hanging out with his friends but get really upset when Bridget catch up with her friends and family. ra-phael was so selfish that he always f0rç£ his decisions on her.
Bridget was not given freedom to choose, everything was always about him.
For five years, ra-phael had been exercising control over Bridget and he gets wild and physically abusive if things do not work the way he wants.
On the other hand, growing up, ra-phael didn’t have good relationsh!pmodels. His father was a rude, arrogant and stubborn man and he was also a control freak.
There were frequent arguments between his parents. growing up, his parents loved each other but they fought a lot too. His parents had a love/hate relationsh!pand he had witnessed his father beat up his mother on several occasions, no wonder he was doing same thing to Bridget his wife.
ra-phael had too many limiting beliefs and he didn’t know how loving relationsh!ps worked.
He always looked for other people for his happiness and to valid@t£ him. He didn’t love himself and was not a complete person in himself.
ra-phael’s parents were somewhat responsible for his odd and abusive behavior as they raised him in a toxic environment.
The next morning was on the 26th day of December, a day every one calls “boxing day”, it was usually a special day, as people tend to open their gift box and smile at the sight of the gift wra-pped up in the box, Bridget found herself in front of the house that she had lived for more than five years, a house she still refers as her matrimonial home, her eyes were heavy as she didn’t get to sleep last night.
she knocked and knocked on the gate but no one responded.
She almost gave up but then she heard a familiar voice.
“Madam, oga say make I no open gate for you, madam plea-se call oga” Musa their security man entered.
Right there, Bridget knew that her battle has just began, she had been feeling nauseous for days and she felt exhausted, she had even mentioned it to her husband, a day before and in his usual manner, he even volunteered to take her to see the doctor but with everything that was happening, Bridget felt more exhausted as she tried to sit on the ba-re floor, she didn’t know when she slumped on the floor and fainted.
Thank God, Musa saw her as he ran into the house to call ra-phael.
Tbc…