21/22
AGE DOESN’T 🙅♀️ 🙅♂️
MATTER ♥
EPISODE 21
“I accept!” I blurted
Neil seemed confused as he tilt his head slightly to the left.
I sighed and about to roll my eyes for his slow witted br@in when he actually g@sped.
“You accept my feelings for you?” he asked his eyes open all wi-de and excited.
“Yes!” I nodded.
Neil quic-kly rushed over to me and gave me a hvg that took my feet off the floor.
“I don’t know… I Don’t know what to say” Neil breathed with a smile looking at me. “I mean you don’t even like me anymore.”
Yep he’s completely sober.
I smiled. “Well… Neil, life is too short to start thinking if we like this p@rticular person or not and with the case of you and me, why not give it a go, back then I’ve always wondered what it was like to Neil, to d@t£ you, and now you have feelings for me, it’s all just so complicated and we have to be calculative, and we’re not teenagers anymore, neither should we act like them…” I paused and the guilty feeling dropped from my che-st when Neil smile started to grow even more.
I continued anyways.
“I don’t know how I work Neil! What if, I don’t know, but what if my feelings are not all down the drain what if some are actually clinging to the pipes re-ady to come back up, I am not sure but it’s just a case of ‘what if’ and ‘maybe’. Right now I’m speaking and accepting your feelings with my mind and I know you un-derstand that, but I do hope my heart wakes up too.”
Neil looked down and then back up at me. “What actually matters right now is that you accepted!” Neil smiled
His smile made me smile. “Okay honestly I haven’t been in a relationsh!pbefore but I hope this one will be good!”.
Neil gr@bb£d my hands. “Of course it will be!”
“And I do hope some feelings are actually clinging to the pipe!” Neil said and I smiled.
He bent down and gently k!$$£d my cheek.
“Good night!” he smiled.
“Good night” I replied and start to walk inside.
I could tell he was watching me walk in but I didn’t want to turn.
~
~
“Yeah I’ll come see you tomorrow and you can’t say no!” I sighed and hanged up. Dropping my phone on my drawer.
Just finished having a conversation with my mom telling her why I didn’t come to the hospital, she didn’t even want me to come, she just wants me to stay home every day and have like tons of siestas.
Adjusting on my be-d, I faced up and watched the ceiling fan turn and turn and turn.
I couldn’t st©p thinking about what just happened.
To see a guy cry because of you, it’s just something too big of a deal and I couldn’t turn him down when he said all those things about me.
If anyone knew how I felt at that moment they would have done the same thing by accepting Neil’s feelings, he knows I don’t have feelings for him anymore, but still he just wants to be in a relationsh!pwith me. That is so sweet.
I hope what I did was okay.? ‘Cause even though the guilty feelings has been taken away from my che-st, I felt another thing, I think I felt anger and sympathy.
I am mad at myself for accepting him throu-gh sympathy, but what could I do? It was the only way he would st©p feeling like a bad version of himself.
I know its eerie of me to, but it was the only way and I’ve always wanted to d@t£ Neil… Then.
Well now even though it’s different, it’s still a win-win for the both of us.
I closed my eyes and let everything on my mind fade and little by little, sleep took over my b©dy.
<^>
The morning breeze was unbearable and the scarf I placed around my n£¢k was too friendly with the wind it almost left my n£¢k.
I had to move my hair from my face countlessly.
The front of the hospital which was always filled with people was surprisingly holding few people on grounds today.
I walked in the hvge hospital and made it to my mom’s ward.
“What are you doing here?” that was the first thing my mom asked.
“Mom!” I whined.
“I told you to rest, you’re working Elsa you don’t have to stress yourself and come to the hospital every single day!” my mom’s voice was loud.
“Well dad’s here don’t you think he wants someone to take over so he can rest a bit?” I fired back and my Dad smiled at that.
“Okay fine you can both go home and rest!” my mom said sitting up on her own.
Wow okay! She’s getting so much better now.
“And leave you here alone? You’re too much mom!” I rolled my eyes as I sat on the be-d beside her.
“Dad you can take all the rest you want I won’t be home until 2:30pm” I smiled and he grinned at me.
My dad left the ward and my mom gave me a look.
“What?” I rolled my eyes and she shook her head with a smile.
We both remained quiet until she said. “Anyways I’ll be getting discharged the day after tomorrow!”
“Wow that’s awesome!”
“I know right? Looks like a healing fairy has been with me for the past days!” my mom joked and we both laughed.
We both remained quiet again but this time, I broke the silence.
“Mom?” I called.
“I have something to tell you!” I said.
“Okay I’m all ears!” she smiled waiting patiently.
“You remember Neil right?”
“Yeah!” my mom tilted her head still wondering on what I would tell her.
“Well Neil and I are going out!” I blurted out.
“Oh!” my mom said with a confused expression.
“What?” I leaned forward. I didn’t un-derstand her confusion.
“Weren’t you guys going out before?” she asked.
Oh…,
I laughed. “No.! We were just friends, did we seem that close to you?”.
“I thought you guys had been in a relationsh!palre-ady!” my laughed.
“No we just bec@m£ a couple last night.” I explained and my mom nodded.
“Well you both have my full support and you’re both the perfect match!” she smiled.
I love my mom!
“Thanks mom!”
She thinks we’re the perfect match. Well that’s a good start.
*
The day sped up to when I would be leaving the hospital and my mom couldn’t st©p telling to s£nd her greetings to Neil and it was just so… I don’t know how to say it, but it was just funny.
Getting home I couldn’t find my dad, and I knew he had alre-ady left for the hospital.
I recieved a call from Neil immediately I took out my phone from my purse and the next minute my phone is on my ear breathing a shy ‘hello’.
“HI” I could feel his smile.
“I’m so sorry for calling you so late, I wanted to call you so early in the morning, but then I realized it would be too early to call you, so I decided to wait till the afternoon sun rises and now I’m calling you, I hope this is not too late!” Neil rushed his words.
I laughed.
“No it’s fine!”
“Okay good, I almost freaked out!” he laughed.
“And can I tell you a secret too!” Neil said.
“Sure what is it” I asked inquisitively.
“I haven’t been in a relationsh!peither….. Okay this is kind of embarras-sing to say!” He laughed.
“No it’s not embarras-sing it’s okay, this is new for us both, so I guess we just do what we think is right!” I sighed.
“Thanks!” He breathed out.
“Why are you telling me thank you?” I beamed.
“I don’t know, honestly,” he laughed.
“Okay this is weird!” I laughed too.
“we’re both new to this that’s why we’re both being weird.!” I couldn’t help the laugh that c@m£ out of my mouth, he is right we’re both awkward towards each other because we’ve not seen this coming for the both of us.
“Okay… I uhm, I have to go! I’ll call you later!” Neil said.
“Oh okay, talk to you later then!” I smiled.
“Okay bye!” he said and we both hung up.
I went to my room and gr@bb£d my teaching bag, gr@bb£d a bottled water from the fridge and left for the hvggins residence.
Surprisingly the bus was super fast today and I got to the hvggins residence ten minutes before my usual time.
Mrs. hvggins hvgged me with a smile as usual and asked Dessera to get me a cu-p of tea but I declined.
“So Jason isn’t back from school yet right?” I asked.
“Oh Jason skipped school again today, he’s been in his room all day, I haven’t seen him all day, but Dessera told me he c@m£ down to the kitchen about four times to gr-ab food and water, I don’t know why he’s being like this though, I’ve knocked on his door couple of times calling out his name but he doesn’t want to talk to me or open the door for me!” Mrs. hvggins sighed looking at her perfectly fixed nails.
“Maybe I should try my luck and see if he opens the door for me.!” I said and adjusted my bag on my b©dy
“Okay then suit yourself!” Mrs hvggins gave a small smile and watch me climb her grand stairs.
I made it in front of Jason’s doorstep and gave in a knock.
Nob©dy answered.
“Jason it’s me!” I said loud enough for him to hear.
Nob©dy answered this time but seconds later the door opened.
And goodness he was looking horrible.
His hair was scattered, he was wearing a thick baggy pajamas and a thick sweater. His face was pale and dry and he looked like he could use a day to sleep and wake up again.
“Jason what happened to you?” I asked as i walked into his room and aslo his room smelled like fruit jui-ce. And I saw a lot of jui-ce boxes on his be-d.
“What do you mean what happened to me?” he asked as he shut the door.
I turned to him “Look at you, you look like a ghost who just woke up,still yet you look like someone who nee-ds to take a hundred year sleep.
His room was looking neat, well except the jui-ce boxes on his be-d.
He moved the jui-ce boxes over to the floor and la-id on his be-d.
“Sorry but looks like you have to go home today Elsa! I don’t feel good at all!” Jason said as he placed his b©dy un-der his blanket.
“And you think I do? Do you think it’s easy coming here and then going back just like that?” I asked as I walked over to his study desk to place my bag.
“Well sorry but I don’t think I can stand up.” Jason sighed.
“But you stood up just now to get the door for me!” I made it clear to him.
“That’s because it was locked and nob©dy else was in here to get it, and didn’t you realise the air conditioner was not on today, I’m fv¢king cold and I don’t think I can do anything cause my b©dy freezes if I leave this be-d!” Jason explained.
I walked up to Jason and placed my hand on his head and he was seriously burning up.
“You have a fever!” I tell him.
“Really doctor?” he tea-sed.
“I’m being real here!” I rolled my eyes.
“I know, and I know I have a fever, isn’t it best if it kills me!” he sighed.
“Jason! You and your bizzare words.” I half yelled.
He sighed and sat up placing the blanket over his b©dy. You could tell he was seriously cold.
“I’m just saying, I think it was because I was up all night and I developed this on myself!” He sighed.
“Why would you be up all night what the hell were you thinking?” I scoffed.
Is he trying to kill himself last night.
“If you were in my shoes you’d totally be thinking too, yesterday Dessera told me she overheard you and my mom having a conversation about me!”
EPISODE 22
“If you were in my shoes you’d totally be thinking too, yesterday Dessera told me she overheard you and my mom conversation about me!”
Jason said and I paused.
Oh.
“So…?” I tried to act like it was nothing.
“So?” he looked up at me with a scoff.
I bit my bo-ttoml!pand just stared at him. Yep this is so awkward.
He adjusted his b©dy and his be-d and la-id down on the be-d again.
“This is so embarras-sing” he breathed out.
“What is so embarras-sing?” I asked placing my hands on my h!ps.
“This, like right now, me lying on this be-d, and you standing in front of me. You alre-ady finding out like I have feelings for you and me just finding out that you know I have feelings for you throu-gh my mom.” Jason sighed and placed the blanket over his head, maybe he doesn’t want to see me.
“You know what, I’m a bit thirsty, ill head down to get myself a glas-s of water, when I come back, plea-se buckle yourself up for our lesson!” I said and started to walk towards the door.
“I’m sick Elsa, can we just cancel today’s lesson and never even have any lesson again!” I heard Jason’s voice un-der his blanket.
I ignored him and walked out of his room.
Mrs. hvggins appeared in front of me immediately I c@m£ down the stairs.
“What happened in there? Did he talk to you?” Mrs. hvggins rushed her words.
“Yeah, he talked to me!” I sighed.
“Oh thank goodness and what did he say?” Mrs. hvggins seemed curious than ever.
Well it’s ha-rd and painful to get ignored by your own child.
“Mrs. hvggins Jason’s got a fever!” I blurted out.
“What???” Mrs. hvggins sounded unbelievable.
“He didn’t sleep last night and he got himself a cold!” I expound.
“Why would he be up all night?” Mrs. hvggins held up a befuddled expression.
“Mrs. hvggins we were not careful, well we were, but Dessera heard our conversation about Jason and well she told him about it, and he’s been up all night thinking about it and he’s kind of… You know embarras-sed!.”
“He shouldn’t be and Oh goodness Dessera,” Mrs. hvggins placed her palm on her forehead and let out a sigh.
“Should I cancel the lesson today?” i asked.
“No, of course not! That would make him feel worse!” Mrs hvggins protested.
“Okay but he can’t get out of be-d, he’s cold, his b©dy is burning up and he’s wra-pped up in his blanket like some marshmallow!” I stated.
“Well I’ll call a doctor now so just go back up and think of a way you can tutor him!” Mrs hvggins said and i shrugged and starts to walk up the stairs.
So to wra-p this up, Jason got sick because of me, well he was thinking of me all night and then got sick.
That means it’s because of me. This is awkward but why do I find it so… Ugh I can’t believe myself.
I walked inside Jason’s room and I found him by the window side staring at the sky.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I have no idea!” he replied not looking back.
“And there I was telling your mom how you can’t get out of the be-d!” I said.
“And why would you tell my mom that?” Jason asked and turned around.
“Cause she’s worried about you!” I replied.
Jason looked at me for some time and then looked away without saying anything. He was lost in thought for a while and I just pla-yed along with his silence not saying anything too.
Honestly I don’t see why he should be embarras-sed about any of this liking someone isn’t bad. Well in our case it’s awkward but still I am not blaming him or getting angry about, and I believe the feelings will pas-s. It’s all just with puberty, I’m a female and I do spend a lot of time with him, so I don’t see why he can’t fall for me.
I heard Jason’s sigh and I looked up at him.
His voice followed. “But it’s kind of embarras-sing”.
“What? What is embarras-sing?” I asked.
“All this, my mom! I can’t believe her, I didn’t know I’ll ever be so disappointed in her like this!” Jason gr-unt.
“Why will you be disappointed in her, she did nothing wrong!” I said sitting on his be-d.
“Of course she did do something wrong, why the hell will she bu-tt her business into my business, just because she’s my mom doesn’t mean she has to do everything behind my back thinking it’s right and I’m okay with it, just like how she confessed my feelings to you, she told me never to confess but I can’t believe she went behind my back and told you what I was supposed to say, and now this situation feels so embarras-sing I feel like dying!”
After angrily yelling Jason breathed in and out.
“Okay, well she did and that’s that, you can’t hate your mom, no matter how ha-rd you try!” I tell him.
“Why are you acting all quiet about this.!” Jason yelled and I looked at him. “excuse me?” I titled my head in confusion.
“The fact that you’re acting like nothing is happening, the fact that you’re acting all cool sickens me, it’s ma-king me lose my mind!” Jason yelled.
“Because nothing is happening Jason! I am cool because nothing is supposed to make me feel uncool, I don’t care if it sickens you!” I yelled back.
He shut his eyes and opened them back again.
“I’m sorry!” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to yell and I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Then how did you mean it?” I crossed my hand over my che-st and then sat properly on the be-d to face Jason.
He didn’t look me in the eye as he said. “The fact that you know I have feelings for you and yet you’re not saying anything about it” His voice was low but at least I heard it all..
“I am fully aware you like me but I don’t un-derstand what you want me to say or do” I said and stood up.
I walked over to his study desk and moved his chair outward. “Come take a seat!” I tell him.
Without asking why or hesitating, Jason walked up to the chair and sat down, and I took the other chair beside the chair and sat down to.
“Now we’ve both taken a seat, we can just drop this and continue with our lesson!” I tried to smile but he rolled his eyes.
At least he still have the strength to roll his eyes.
“I don’t have the strength to learn today and I’m sick remember!”.
“Are you happy that you’re sick?” I asked.
“Well… I Am, cause I won’t go to school either and won’t have any lessons with you too!” he sm-irked.
“Well that’s that! Maybe I should leave then.” I said.
“That is what I want but… But.
“But what?” I titled my head.
“Why won’t you say anything?” He asked.
I know I’ve been saying something since. But I un-derstand what he’s talking about.
I sighed “Honestly I don’t know what to say or what you expect me to say so…!”
“But you’re not mad or disgusted right?” Jason said staring at the desk.
“Mad about what? About you liking me?” I asked and he nodded.
“Okay so I find it a little bit awkward jason but I don’t see any reason to be mad or disgusted just because you like me. Every one deserves to like and to be liked, and honestly I’m flattered you like me, but you’ll get pas-s the feeling, bet me!” I as-sured him with a giving smile.
He scoffed.
“Why are you saying this like it’s just a phase, I know what I’m doing… I Know what I’m feeling… And I know this is definitely a rejection!” Jason stated and shut his head at his last s£ntence.
I’m not rejecting his feelings neither am I accepting them. I’m just seeing them as a phase and trying to let him know that once I’m gone those feelings will die down immediately.
“Glad you got my point” I smiled.
Jason let’s out a sigh and ruffled his hair. He glanced at me and then back at his desk.
“Why? Is it because you’re older? You’re just a year older and age doesn’t really matter!” Jason stated.
“It’s actually two years older, and well to some people age really does matter!” I said.
“And you are one of them?” Jason asked.
“Yeah you could say that!” I smiled. I don’t know if I’m one of them or not.
Does age really even matter?
“Okay great” Jason laughed bitterly.
“So I guess, it’s Neil then!” Jason said as low as possible.
What?.
I turned to him. “Actually it’s alre-ady Neil!” I said and his head tilt at me immediately.
“Oh… You guys are alre-ady…?
“Yeah!” I nodded.
Jason remained quiet looking at the desk, he didn’t move or say a word and I realised I Just broke something.
“So can we just move on and start on today’s lesson?” I tried to lighten up the dying mood by sounding so cheerful
“Sorry but apparently I feel worst.” Jason said, stood up and walked up to his be-d.
“So should I leave?” I asked.
“That would be best!” Jason said as he went un-der the covers.
“Okay then.” I sighed, stood up and gr@bb£d my bag.
I walked up to the door and before opening the door I turned to him, though he covered himself with his blanket, all his b©dy, didn’t know what was happening un-der the covers though but I know he would hear what I’ll say.
“Jason, your mom will be calling a doctor soon, so plea-se just let the doctor treat you so your fever can die down, get better so we can continue our lessons and don’t forget we’re just teacher and student.” that was what I said before leaving.
Surprisingly I found Mrs. hvggins in front of the door outside Jason room and I gave a surprised look. She gave me a pitiful look and I asked.
“What are you doing here?”
she placed her index f!nger over herl-ips and breathed out a shhh…
She pu-ll-ed my hand and dragged me down to the end of the hallway,
We appeared in front of a door and she pu-ll-ed me inside immediately she opened the door.
My jaw almost dropped of how big and beautiful the room was, the room two cushion decoration colour was black and white and everything in it looked expensive.
A hvge picture was hung at the t©p of the be-d and there was Mrs. hvggins and her husband. And I used to think Jason looked like his mother, now on second thoughts, you should see his father.
“Sit plea-se!” Jason’s mother said and I sat on one of the cushion chairs.
She sat down beside me and breathed out.
“The reason why I was standing in front of Jason’s room was because I was eavesdropping on your conversations, and I know that is so wrong of me and now hearing all that, that Jason had said I feel so sad, I don’t know why I even decided to confess his feelings for you to you, that was stupid of me, he’s not a child and I shouldn’t have done that!” Mrs. hvggins said and pouted.
“Exactly Mrs. hvggins, Jason is not a child, for crying out loud he’s eighteen alre-ady and also even at twelve boys nee-d the privacy they deserve, he doesn’t nee-d you to pry in his business, he was really broken by what you did and he said he was disappointed in you!” I explained.
“I heard that p@rt plea-se don’t remind me. I just, the only reason I told you about him liking you was because I know you’d reject him and I wanted you to carefully reject it and also not feel surprised if he ever decided to come out to you with his feelings. But that was stupid of me, rejection is just rejection, be it nicely or badly, it’s the a reject, I could have let Jason do this on his own, I’m so sorry!” Mrs. hvggins sighed.
“You shouldn’t be apologizing to me Mrs. hvggins” I pimped, “You should carefully be apologizing to your son!”.
“Do you know I had Jason at sixteen?” Mrs hvggins started and wiped the corners of her eyes. “And people told me I won’t be able to take care of him that I wouldn’t be able to be a mother to him, that I would be too young for him, and that still gets into my head, that at all cost I want to do and be everything for Jason, I want to do every thing for Jason, his father still thinks Jason is an accident, I mean we both knew what we were doing at that time. And now He travels all the time leaving me and jason alone, and this makes me want to be there for Jason at all cost. So plea-se don’t blame me too much for this, I don’t know what I’m doing! ” Mrs hvggins explained.
“I un-derstand you very well Mrs. hvggins and seriously caring mothers are the best and you’re actually one of them, but I also think it’s time you give Jason the privacy he nee-ds!” I stated.
T. B. C
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