When a man loves
I walked inside the house and walked straight to the bathroom to wash my hands. I had mud on my shoes and so I had to remove them.
‘What’s going on?’ I heard her ask and she startled me, ‘is that blood on your shirt?’
‘Oh this, I was driving fast and so I hit a dog. It’s his blood.’
Obviously she wasn’t going to ask about the mud because it has been raining outside.
‘Okay. Are you okay though?’ she asked and I felt a hint of concern in her voice.
‘Yes, I am fine,’ I responded.
‘If you are done, can you come upstairs? I need to talk to you.’
‘Alright,’ I said and continued with what I was doing.
After I was done and wiping my hands, I saw her standing behind me and screamed a little.
‘Jay, are you okay?’ shouted Marisa.
‘I am fine.’
I can’t believe that I was already seeing her. I didn’t mean to hurt her, it was a mistake. I removed all of my clothes and took a shower. I am supposed to be burning these clothes because they are still reminding me of her. When I was done with the shower, I went to the dining room and Marisa had prepared some food. I sat with her on the table and we started eating in peace. Mind you, this is the first time I am having a meal with her. Since we got married, we have never done this. We all know that she didn’t love me that much; she was still in love with Jay.
We finished eating and it seems we were all deep in our thoughts.
‘I will wash the dishes,’ I said to her.
We couldn’t wake up the maids, they were already sleeping.
‘I will help you,’ she said and got up on her chair with the other dirty places.
We both headed to the kitchen to do some dishes. I was washing the dishes, rinsing them and she was wiping the dish towel.
‘I am sorry,’ she apologized.
Lost, I didn’t know what she was apologizing for.
‘Treating you like that after all it was my mother who created this mess. I just blame her for everything you know. If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t be in this mess.’
‘Are you okay?’ I asked her as she went to sit down on the kitchen chair.
‘I am okay. You must be wondering why I am suddenly acting this way. I had a fight with my mother and she slapped me.’
‘I am sorry.’
‘You don’t need to apologies, I think I went overboard, let things out of control and blurted out some words that I wasn’t supposed to say. I know she is not perfect and she did all of this for many reasons but at the end of the day, she is still my mother. The woman who gave birth to me and our daughter’s grandmother, I ought to respect her for that right?’
‘Yes, you have to,’ I said and went to sit with her.
I took her hand and my move must have surprised her because she jumped a little on the chair.
‘ I am not perfect either. I am sorry for making you leave your husband,’ I am being honest right now.
You know being a mayor has made me grow up. At first I wasn’t interested in this relationship, I mean I didn’t give a damn about her but now I think I am. I hated my daughter because she was a girl but spending time with her, well Marisa obviously she doesn’t know that I took our daughter out to a park. Anyway I did that and after spending more time with her, I have just realized that it’s all the same. Fuck what my dead father and their family said about having a boy child as the first born. I have suddenly fallen in love with my daughter and have formed this beautiful bond. Right now I just want to get along with Marisa and be happy with her.
I mean I am the reason why she is unhappy. She loved her ex-husband very much and I made her leave him.
‘Marisa, I know you and I haven’t loved each other like husband and wife but I want to give it a try. I am sorry, I used to tell you that I hate our daughter with a passion but I am sorry about that. I just want to be a great father to our daughter, I want to be a great husband to you, a friend and I just want to be there for you and our daughter. Is it okay if you can just give me a try? You don’t have to accept my proposal or request now. You can always think about it and if you want to leave me, get a divorce, I will understand after all I haven’t been treating you nicely. But now more than ever, I have realized that I have been caring more about myself and not others. I just want to make things right by you. I don’t know, what do you think?’
She was quiet for some time and I already know her response. I bet she has always wanted to leave me but haven’t found that chance yet. If she leaves now I will understand. I married her because I needed to be Mayor, I didn’t marry her out of love. This was all about love and I would get it if she wants to leave. She has been through a lot. I will let her go if she chooses to leave; I won’t force her to stay against her own will.
‘I have been thinking about that too and I am sorry for being disrespectful to you. I mean I should have tried to make things work between us but I always felt as if I was forced into this marriage. Moving on with you is something that I would love after all Vusi is about to get married and I think it’s time I accept that I will never be with him for a second chance. You are my father’s daughter and I would really love it if our daughter grows with both her parents. Let’s just try to make things work and not involve my mother in our affairs. She wasn’t so lucky with dad, she just needs to move on and leave us alone. I know it was also her idea to visit the witch doctor. Oh, I don’t want to think about that right now,’ she smiled, ‘let’s just be us and maybe the first thing we can do, is to go out for a picnic tomorrow if you are not busy,’ she suggested and that would be great.
‘That would be great. We still have to get to know each other. I know we are not strangers but we haven’t been communicating. We sure need a re-introduction,’ I said to her and she smiled.
This was the beginning of a new relationship. I know what I did tonight was wrong but something good came out of it, that’s me and Marisa trying to make things work between us. No one is ever going to find out that I killed Sharon. After all it was a mistake and even if I had called the police, they were not going to believe me.
I woke up in a new environment or should I use the word atmosphere. The energy was just so great and waking up to my daughter’s little voice making noise, it was just amazing. I don’t know why it took me a while to realize that she definitely had my eyes and nose. She was the cutest thing that I have ever met all of my life. I actually asked the maid to bring me her plate of porridge, I wanted to feed her. Marisa was even shocked when she saw me feeding her. She must have thought that I had bipolar disorder, one moment I was happy with our daughter and next I didn’t want her near me. Well that was long gone; I was going to love this little princess with all of my heart.
‘Where is your mother? We are going to be late for our picnic.’
‘Yes your mama.’
‘Tada,’ she giggled.
That little sweet thing, she was just so amazing. Marisa finally opened the door to the backseat. The driver was the one taking us to the park, I had asked him too. I didn’t want to drive but I just wanted to hold my wife’s hand and feel the cold beautiful breeze from the car moving with her.
‘What took you long?’
‘I was on the phone with my sister. She is looking for mum. She is saying that she is not at her house and she was seen leaving the house 2 hours after I left the house. Her phone is off and it’s unlike her.’
‘She will come back. Maybe she is partying somewhere.’
‘I bet she is,’ she said and feigned a smile.
I am sorry Marisa, I wish I could tell you what I did with your mother’s body but I can’t. You are better off not knowing what really happened to her last night. It was amistake but then no one is going to belive me. I didn’t want this to ruin our good mood and so I changed the topic after telling her that I was going to asks some of my men to look for her. I just wanted her to feel better but things will probably get worse for her after she realizes that her mother is not coming back. We soon got at the park and had our little picnic. We took some few pictures and I was just natural you know. I didn’t need to fake it because I already had feelings for Marisa and the baby. It was just beautiful.
‘Thank you,’ said Marisa when we were watching our daughter playing with the other kids.
‘Not making things awkward between us.’
I smiled genuinely.
‘You are welcome,’ I said and we both went quiet as I looked deeply into her eyes.
She had nice lips and sexy eyes you know. There was that moment, I really wanted to kiss her and so I was almost bringing my lips close to hers when my phone rang. Couldn’t it have chosen the right moment?
‘Excuse me,’ I said to Marisa as I removed my phone from the pocket.
‘Let me check on our princess,’ she said getting up and I was answering my call.
It was a private number and I was supposed to answer. It might be from the office. When I answered it, the person on the other line was quiet.
‘Hello,’ that was the third time.
‘I know what you did last night.’
‘I am sorry who is this.’
‘The witness to a murder.’
My heard suddenly skipped a beat, I got scared and I could feel my hands trembling.
‘Who is this and what do you want?’
‘What do I want? What I want is to expose you. Tomorrow your name will be all over the news. You killed that woman and you buried her, I saw everything You are doing a picnic with her. Does she know that you killed her mother?,’ she said and I looked around wanting to see if someone was watching me but I couldn’t see anyone because they were a lot of people on the phone.
Yes it was a she and after that the phone went tit ti ti, she hanged up on me and I couldn’t call back because it was a private number.
‘Jay, are you okay? You look like you have seen a ghost.’
Maybe I was talking to one.
‘Jay,’ that was Marisa shaking me and I jumped.
‘Let’s get out of here,’ I grabbed her and the baby.
I felt as if someone was playing a prank on me. I knew that she was dead because I had buried her. Marisa asked if everything was alright and I lied to her on our way home. I told her that there was an emergency at the office and they needed me to be there. So as soon as we got home, I changed into a suit and drove myself to the forest, where I buried Sharon. With my heart pounding so fast, I was praying to find the dead body. Who could have seen me at that time of the hour? I had so many questions running through my head but still kept my focus on the road.
It took for about 30 minutes to finally arrive at the place and I parked my car on the other side of the road. I got out of the car and headed straight to the spot. I was feeling very nervous and when I finally got there,
‘Oh my God?!’ I exclaimed with hands on my head.
Someone had dug out. For a minute I thought maybe I had forgotten the place but no it was it. While thinking out loud, my phone rang and that really startled me.
‘Hello,’ I said answering it and it was a private number.
‘I knew you were going to drive at that place. By that look on your face, I can see that you are really surprised,’ she said and I started looking around.
‘Where are you?’ I asked with a hint of anger in my voice.
Why was she being a coward? Why was she busy following me around?
‘I am where I am supposed to be, stalking you.’
‘What do you want from me?’
‘To pay for your sins. We both know that you are not a saint and right now you will do exactly as I say,’ she said and hanged up.
Minutes later I saw a motorbike driving off and quickly ran to my car. I got into my car and drove off following her. I knew it was her and this time around I wasn’t going to let her go. She was going to tell me exactly what she wanted and where she took the body. I was failing to catch up on her and we were already in the highway. She passed through the red robot.
‘Shit!’ I cursed hitting my steering well.
Watching that motorbike driving off really made me feel so desperate because I was already in a desperate situation. Now I had so many questions with me. Was Sharon still alive? Wasn’t she dead? Maybe it’s just time for me to tell you what exactly happened that night when I had started strangling her.
I had let her go; I wasn’t going to kill her. So she started coughing and I gave her some water to drink.
‘I am sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,’ I had apologized to her but she threw the water on my face and that water glass almost pierced though my eyes.
‘You are insane.’
‘I know I am and I am just trying to protect what I am about to build. I love Marisa, Sharon. I know I married her because of business but now I genuinely want to be with her. Whether you are going to tell her about us or not honestly I don’t care. I don’t get to lose much but you, your daughter’s respect and so go ahead and tell Marisa about us,’ I had said and I was about to walk out of the room when she grabbed my hand.
I don’t know why that sort of pissed me off and so I pushed her very hard that she slipped since the water hadn’t been mopped and fell down hitting her head on the edge of the dressing table. It shocked me and at that moment I hadn’t thought about running. I knelt down on the floor shaking her whilst calling out her name but when I noticed the blood on the floor that’s when I knew she was dead. I checked her pulse and it was very weak. I knew calling the cops will be a bad idea, since it was just me and her in the house. I thought about hiding the body, that’s when I lifted her and walked with her to my car. I took the shovel and didn’t think about changing my clothes. I went and buried her quarter alive.
I know I should have taken her to the hospital but what was I going to tell the cops, the media and the parliament. I was a mayor and just maybe this other part of me was glad that she was dead. She was already threatening me and trust me I felt as if we were all better off without her. I was about to change but she just wouldn’t let me. In fact she wanted to destroy me and so that’s what happened. That night I accidentally killed Sharon and I was scared to call the police.
I drove back home after losing her. Right at that moment, I wanted to tell my wife that I killed her own mother.
I parked my motorbike in the garage and removed the helmet. I walked inside the house and walked straight to the kitchen, I was thirsty and I almost got caught.
‘How was it?’ she asked as she walked inside the kitchen.
‘It was fine,’ I responded with a smile, ‘thanks with the call, he should never suspect me at all costs. How is she?’
‘She hasn’t gained conscious yet.’
‘Okay, I need to head back home before my husband arrives. I need to change this outfit quickly.’
‘Okay, Marisa,’ she called out.
‘I will and thanks for being concerned.’
‘That’s what friends are for,’ she said with a smile.
Friends, I never knew that word would exist one day but of cause we were friends. I know you must be wondering what I am doing here when I am supposed to be at home. Soon after Jay dropped us off at home and he immediately left in a hurry, I knew where he was going and followed him. I found myself on a motorbike. How I learnt to drive that will be a story for another day. I quickly told Nyarai to call him since I was watching him from a distant, telling her what she was supposed to be saying. Nyarai was also the one who had called Jay at the park.
You must also be wondering what is happening here, maybe you are confused. Let me enlighten you. You remember that day I went to visit Vusi at his office? Few days before I had found out that my mother was sleeping with Jay. I was really hurt; it was Nyarai who told me everything. I didn’t just employ Nyarai to be a maid at my mother’s house when my baby was around; she was also supposed to be telling me what was happening at the house. Nyarai was an ex-con, she stayed in jail for 5 years for killing her husband, it was self-defense but they just ruled it as murder but was released under probation.
Anyway she asked me what I was going to do about it. The first thing that I did was to install cameras in my mother’s house. Wasn’t she the one who started with the whole bugging thing? I wanted them to both pay for ruining my marriage, well I was still in love with Vusi and I am not giving up on him. Fuck what I said to Jay that was pretense and honestly I hated that man with all of my heart. I know he is trying to change but it’s rather too late for that because I have planned so many things for him. He will pay and when I am finally done with him, he will never know what hit him.
As I was saying, I asked Nyarai to follow my mother when she left the house going to see Jay and I left the house too just after being sent the address of their meeting place. I was in the car with Nyarai when Jay arrived and I got out of the car. I made sure not to be seen by anyone, I heard him speaking to my mother and when I was about to leave that’s when I heard a bang. The next thing I heard Jay calling out my mother’s name. I rushed back to the car and told Nyarai what I had heard. We sat in the car until it was dark when we both saw Jay carrying something wrapped in a white cloth.
‘What’s that? Oh my word!’ I had exclaimed loudly when I saw my mother’s hand when Jay had placed her in the car boot, ‘He killed her,’ I had said to Nyarai with tears in my eyes.
She managed to calm me down and stopped me from getting out of the car. I wanted to go and confront Jay about it. We followed Jay and thank goodness I had someone with me because I was about to breakdown. Nyarai was driving and I was just in a disarrayed state of mind. We saw Jay digging the grave and buried my mother in it.
‘You have to go home before he leaves this place. I called my brother to come and take you home. He will drive you home and you will act as if everything is okay,’ Nyarai had said.
‘But I can’t. He just killed my mother.’
‘You have to pretend if you want him to pay. I will go and check to see if she is really dead. I will take her with me,’ she had said to me and I got out of the car.
Nyarai’s brother drove me home and when I got there, I went to take a shower. When Jay came home and he lied about hitting a dog, I honestly wanted to hurt him. Late that night I received a message from Nyarai and she told me that mum was still alive but in a critical condition. I asked her to do everything in her power to make sure that she gets medical assistant and I will be there to check up on them. Since I am a doctor I told her what she was supposed to do. I wasn’t going to do that mistake of taking my mother at a hospital. I wanted her to live and I wanted her to pay for hurting me like that.
These people changed me and it was their time to pay. After I am done with them, I will go back to Vusi and we will live happily ever after. I don’t give a damn about that Chichi girl, maybe I should bury her alive. I will stay away from Vusi for now but keep a close eye on him. He won’t see me coming for him; it’s going to be a surprise. I got out of the car and the maid told me that Jay was back home.