💘
WHAT
💘 DREAMS ARE
MADE OF
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#Episode_26
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Nikloi was shocked with the sudden change in her but he st©pped immediately. re-leasing her completely, he stepped back looking at her questioningly. Her breath had still not returned to normal. She moved away from him, taking support from the car. She was too mortified to face him
What had happened to her? When did she become so weak to give in to such de-sires? That too with Nikloi Swaroski.
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Even though she had turned away, she could feel Nikloi’s eyes digging holes in her back. He had questions which she didn’t want to answer. Struggling to calm her racing heart, she hvgged herself with both her arms folded in front of her. She knew it was wrong of her to k!sshim back and then tell him to st©p but there was nothing else she could have done once she realized her mistake. Because that’s exactly what it was.
It was a mistake and she couldn’t let it go any further. br@cing herself to face him, she said apprehensively, “I am sorry. I shouldn’t ha..” . But Nikloi cut her in between, “Are you? Really?”
His voice was as cold as a glacier.
She was finding it difficult to hold herself together. He had shaken her to her core. She could still taste hisl-ips on her mouth, his hands on her b©dy. Her b©dy wanted to fling herself onto him without bothering about what he would think.
As much as she wanted to live in those moments, she still knew it would only mean hurting herself more in the future. She had not forgotten the way he had k!$$£d Susan in Mrs Clark’s p@rty nor that they had shared their first k!ssonly as a mean to avoid Susan. But then he had gone back to the same Susan in couple of months.
It only meant that such things were not important for him. He could k!ssgirls without meaning a thing. God knows how many girls he had been with. They sure were re-ady to give their arms away to be held by him but she was not one of those girls. For her, this was not a regular thing. She didn’t go around k!ss!ngmen. She hadn’t even k!$$£d any man, ap@rt from her weird experiences with him.
She wanted more, much more but she couldn’t tell him that. It was her de-epest secret which she had not even accepted to herself, not until their k!sstoday. Now she knew she had lost her heart and no matter what she did she would never be able to teach her heart not to love him. But that didn’t mean she had to share her secret with him. He would never un-derstand her. They were poles ap@rt and nothing could bring them together.
She drew a de-ep breath, su-cking her swollenl-ips within. Obviously, she had no clue of the impact of her simple action was causing to him. He felt something ti-ght£ñ in his throat.
Turning away from her, he tried to gulp down the lump in his throat while Chrissy struggled to get the words out of her mouth.
“I am sorry. It was a mistake”.
“You are saying it was a mistake after k!ss!ngme like that?” he taunted incredulously. Displea-sure was clear in his voice.
Chrissy was getting upset too. “It is the truth. I don’t go around k!ss!ngmen. I didn’t come to k!ssyou”, she answered helplessly.
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“Oh yes, you only k!$$£d me back when I k!$$£d you”, Nikloi added sarcastically.
“I don’t want to talk about it”.
“Why not? You didn’t mind k!ss!ngme. What’s wrong in talking about it?”
He pu-ll-ed her arm towards him.
“Let me go!”
“Afraid, you will k!ssme again?”
“No! I don’t want to k!ssyou”
“Then what are you afraid of?”
Chrissy’s heart was beating loudly in her che-st. The fact was that he was right. If he did anything, would she be able to control herself? Her past actions had proven otherwise.
She didn’t want to go weak again but his arms were not helping. She looked into his de-ep blue eyes beseechingly and said, “Why are you doing this?
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Something changed in his eyes but he quic-kly covered them. When he looked at her again, his eyes had gone completely cold. He said, “You know what you are Ms Smith?”
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Chrissy couldn’t un-derstand the sudden change in him. Before she could say anything, he commented, “You pretend that you are an innocent soul in matters concerning a man and a woman but your actions speak differently. May be you were seeking something else in a k!ssor should I say some one else?”
He didn’t wait for her response and went around the car to get into it. Chrissy was speechless. Such was her state that she wasn’t sure what she had heard was true.
“I dd..don’t know what you mean”
“I think you do. But let’s leave it at that, shall we?” He said with a blank expression on his face. She knew he wasn’t asking a question. He had alre-ady stated it what he thought of her.
And that’s what it really was.
He had always criticized her for actions, especially when it c@m£ to men. According to him, she was a farce, a hypocrite and a tease and today’s k!sshad proved that beyond any doubt. Her character as-sas-sination was complete and she herself had given him the ammunitions to do so. Nothing she could say or do now to make him see how wrong he was.
He was alre-ady seated inside the car. She was not comfortable getting inside the closed vehicle with him so soon after what had happened but she couldn’t just keep standing here in the parking lot. Quietly she opened the door and sat in the pas-s£nger seat, huddled up at her side. If he saw her squee-zing in her seat, he didn’t react.
Putting the car in motion, he started driving. Chrissy looked outside the window to look at the now reddish blue sky. Far off in the distance, she could see the Sars£n stones wishing her goodbye and she felt a de-ep ache in her heart. Would she ever be able to think of those stones without thinking about the man in whose arms she had lost herself?
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The man who was as ha-rd as those stones themselves.
She felt a tear push itself across her eye lashes and she turned further away to hide it from Nikloi. Her heart was aching but she couldn’t tell why. Was it because of the hurt, hearing his low opinion of her, or was it because she had denied her heart what it craved for and until now, had thought unattainable.
Life had been so much less complicated before she had met Nikloi Swaroski. She had never imagined any man would k!ssher but then she had met him and he had proved her wrong.
Later she had come to know him and his society – how sharing a k!sswas not of special significance for most of them. And so she had thought they would never share a real k!ss. A k!sswanted by both of them, but he had proved her wrong again.
They had k!$$£d. In every s-en-se a man and woman can share a k!ss. And this time she had found him really within her reach. In her arms. His living, pulsating, and breathing self on herl-ips.
But then, she had denied what it might have been. She had refused her heart to live the fantasy she was even afraid of dreaming. She had refused her own de-sires. And that’s what hurt the most.
But what other choice she had , she thought. Controlling her emotions she told her heart to be strong. What they had shared today was not frivolous but was it enough? Was it worth the price?
Great Nikloi Swaroski, who never really saw her more than a lowly resource in his team, had acknowledged her as a woman!
She would be fooling herself if she didn’t accept that she liked the attention. And that there was a possibility of getting carried away in that attention.
But she had known him for long now. She knew that while he may have noticed her, she was still no more than one of the multi-ple women in his life. She may be different from those who were willing to jump at the snap of his f!ngersbut she was not anyone special either. She would not hold his attention any longer than the femme fatale Susan Malkovich.
Ohh that name again. She felt the terrible pain again at the memory of two of them k!ss!ngeach other at Mrs. Clark’s p@rty. She had to st©p thinking about them. She had to st©p thinking about him. Period.
She resolved the thought internally. She would not be anyone’s pla-ything. Something to interest him today and to be forgotten tomorrow. Her self-respect was more important to her than anything else. The pain she felt now would go away eventually but if she let him any closer, she would be straddled with an agony for all her life.
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She looked at him to know what was going throu-gh his head but his face was blank. He was looking straight ahead focussing on the road. He had alre-ady wiped her out of his thoughts.
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▶Story_Continues💞