❤️THE SPACE IN BETWEEN❤️
?Age is just a number?
✍️Written By Precious Pinky✍️
?Chapter Twenty-Six (26)?
#NOT EDITED.
Theme: Move on
?Malby’s Pov?
“Do you think he will ever forgive me? Do you think I was a very bad mother to him?” She asked, crying.
I was crying too.
I should hate her. I mean, she also caused the death of Manuel, her own son. If she had been there for him then he wouldn’t have become a suicidal person. He wouldn’t have killed himself. He would have still be here. Alive and healthy.
If she was a good mother. Manuel would have lived a happy life. He would have received the love of a mother. But no, she just chose not to be there for him. She just left him alone with his thoughts.
But even at that, why don’t I hate her? Why was i sitting down here having this conversation with her? Most importantly, why did I ever accept having this meeting with her?
I clenched my fist that lay on my lap as I stare at the black coffee in front of me. I couldn’t stop myself from crying. My chest were still so heavy.
It’s been a week since we lost Manuel and yet it felt like we lost him just yesterday. The pain, the disappearance was still very fresh in my heart. Or maybe I was just feeling so guilty to forgive myself.
I still blame myself.
After I told my parents about my decision, they were very surprise about my sudden change of heart on my dream but they didn’t do anything to discourage me. They rather supported me and promise to stand by me always.
I love them so much and sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to have them as my parents.
Why can’t everyone be as lucky as me?
Xander and I talked that night after i told my parents about my decision. I told him as well and he was happy for me. He didn’t judge me. He stayed with me all night until I feel asleep with him at the other line.
School became so boring. Tricky talked less and paid more attention in cla-ss. We weren’t friends but we do acknowledge each other as friends whenever we cross path at the school hallway.
I guess Manuel’s death also affected her.
Everyone were busy preparing for their exams but as for me? I was drowning in my guilt.
Xander still took a little of his time to help me prepare for my exams. He takes me out just to shaken me out of my guilt and help me move on from Manuel’s death. It wasn’t working. But whenever I was around him, I pretend to be happy.
God, I miss Manuel so much.
Manuel’s mother, Mrs Ca-ssie called me last night, just when I was about going to bed. I asked her how she got my number and she told me she got it from Manuel’s phone. It’s quite disrespectful for her to go throu-ghher late son’s phone. She has no fu-cking right to do so.
But hey, who am I? Because she clearly has more right than I do. Why? She was his mother.
I wanted to decline the offer but I could hear the desperation in her voice. She really do wanted to talk to me. I might not hate her but I still don’t like her.
I decided to accept the offer because of Manuel.
He was practically the reason why I was still seated here, actually.
“What do you think?” I asked instead of providing her with the answers she was expecting.
She nods. “I was a bad mother. I should never have left in the first place. I should have stood by him.” She continued crying.
Why does life have to be treated this way? When a person is alive, everyone treats that person like trash. Everyone turn their faces away but when the person dies… they come around for his funeral. they act like they care when they don’t. They start to regret about how they treated the person when he was still alive. They start asking for forgiveness from the deceased.
And I was part of those hypocrite.
“Manuel never hated you. All he ever wish was to see you again,” I took out the list and handed it over to her. She collects it and starts reading. “He wanted to be happy like everyone else.” I said in a whisper as fresh tears begin to stroll down.
She placed her hands over her mouth as she kept reading throu-ghManuel’s list, tears were streaming down to her face, profusely.
I didn’t do anything to console her. I just sat there and watch her. She deserve this pain. She deserve all this heartbreak. Honestly, I might not hate her but I don’t think I will ever wish her happiness.
She finished reading the list and dropped the paper on the table. Her continual crying were already calling the attention of people as they turned to look at us. They gave us weird looks but neither me nor Mrs Ca-ssie cared about the looks we received. Those people wouldn’t understand the pain we were going throu-ghright now.
“I never took him to those places because I was busy trying to work things out with his father. His real father. I wanted to take Manuel to his father but things got so complicated. Manuel father died and my hope died along with him,” She cries. “Mr Smith treated us like trash and always beat me at every chance he get. I didn’t even know he knew about my adultery. I thought he just hate me. I swear, if I had known he knew about Manuel not being his child….I would have taken Manuel with me. I shouldn’t have left him with that monster!”
I shook my head. “Mr Smith wasn’t the monster.” I said. “You were.”
She nods her head in agreement. “I know.”
Silent fell between us. Each of us were in our own world. We were locked in our thoughts. Mrs Ca-ssie held the list and continued crying while I sat across from her and watched her. Doing nothing but crying silently as well.
*I wish to see my mother.*
*I’m sure you will. One day.*
*Today is Manuel’s day out. I will be at your service. Bills on me.*
*It’s beautiful.*
*Vanilla for him and…*
*…and chocolate for her.*
*Come on, say hello to the ocean.*
*HELLO!*
*You will forever be my best friend.*
He shouldn’t have die. He doesn’t deserve to die. He has been throu-gha lot already and doesn’t deserve death so why? Why does he have to leave just like that? Why did he leave without even saying goodbye?
“Thank you, Malby. Thank you for always been there for my boy.” She said, looking up at me.
“I never did it for you. Manuel was my friend…No, he is my friend. He might be dead but he’s forever in my heart.” I said sincerely, staring right back at her as tears kept rolling down to my face. “He earned my friendship and I earned his. I didn’t do it for any fu-cking body but because he deserves to be loved. He deserve to have a friend like everyone else.”
She didn’t say anything. she just stared at me, her eyes glistening with fresh tears. She slowly look down at her lap and sobbed silently.
“I’m very ashamed of myself.” She said in a low voice.
“You better be. Because honestly, you didn’t do well as a mother.” I got up to my feet, brou-ght out a 50dollar note from my pocket and placed it on the table. “Bills on me.” With that, I walked out of the Cafe.
***
“Hey there!” I waved as I neared a tombstone which has a name scribbled on it.
~Manuel Smith,
A great son and a wonderful friend,
2001-2021~
I slowly dropped a vanilla flavored ice cream I was holding in my right hand in front of his tomb and sat down on the floor, holding a chocolate flavored one for myself.
“How are you doing over there?” I asked, even though I know how stupid it sounds to ask a dead person such a question but yet I was still curious to know if he was okay over there. Too bad he wouldn’t be able to answer my question.
I took a bite from my ice cream and look over at his untouched one. My eyes glistened in tears as realization came down on me. He had ice cream just once in his lifetime. And now, he will never be able to have it again. He was gone. Forever.
“Do you know what I regret most?” I start to speak. “Ever walking away from our friendship.” And that’s was the truth. I fu-cking hate myself for ever walking out on him that day. Yes, he’d hurt me but I shouldn’t have said those meanful words to him. “I should have stood by you. I should _”
“How can I rest in peace if you keep blaming yourself like this, Malby?” I snapped my head to the direction where the voice came from and found myself staring at a sad looking Manuel. He was sitting by my side, wearing white all throu-gh. Opposite from his usual color _Balck_ I guess the description of his heart changed.
“Manuel…” I started crying over again. “How dare you die? Who asked you to die? You didn’t even say goodbye.” I cried har-der , the ice cream were melting away slowly in my grasp.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “But Malby, it wasn’t your fault I died. You have absolutely nothing to do with my death if anything…i should be thankful to you. You were the reason why I lived longer on earth. You were my first and last best friend. And you will always be my friend forever.” He looks down at my melting ice cream and smiled. “Chocolate isn’t your favorite, why are you eating it?”
“Because that was the flavor you thought I loved.” I answered, looking down at it as well.
“I’m so dumb.” He said, laughing. His laughter were music to my ear. His happiness made me happy as well. Seems like his new life was different and better than his past life. He is happy now compare to when he was alive. “You don’t have to take it because of me.”
“I’m just feeling so…guilty.” I said truthfully.
“Stop feeling guilty, Malby. I can’t ask you to forget me because I honestly don’t want you to ever forget me but I can only ask you to move on and stop blaming yourself. That’s the only way I can be happy in my new world.”
I was still crying.
Manuel looks over at the Vanilla flavored ice cream in front of his grave and smiled. “Thanks for that. But can you please always get this for me during my birthdays?”
I smiled as i nodded my head ‘Yes.’
“You better get going now. Xander must be worried sick about you right now. And oh, I love your new dream by the way.” He was still smiling. “Goodbye Malby, I need to rest now. Until we meet again in the afterlife and don’t come too soon. Live your life to the fullest.” He said, slowly fading away out of my sight.
He was truly gone now.
I let out a sigh before getting up to my feet and dusted an imaginary dirt off my trouser. I said goodbye to Manuel before turning around and walked out of the graveyard. I walked out of the guilt.
It’s time I move on. It’s time to live my life and be happy. It’s time to achieve my new purpose and dream.
I toss the ice cream on the ground as I got closer to my car. I opened my car but before I got in, I turned around to stare at the opened gate of the graveyard one last time with a smile plastered on my face.
I guess this visit was worth it.
“Until we meet again, Manuel.” I said in a whisper before getting into my car and driving off.
This was my goodbye to him. It’s time I accept his death and move on. Although I will miss him but life have to go on for the living.
??????????
?Mona’s Pov?
“Let’s check out that shopping mall!” Greta squealed, linking hands with Malby and i and pulling us towards the mall against our will.
We entered the mall. It was so beautiful and big. Different collections of bags, shoes, dresses displayed on every section.
Greta dragged us along with her to the dressing section, grinning from ear to ear like a child who has just being given a candy while Malby seem so uninterested, just like me.
Don’t get us wrong. We are very happy to spend our weekend together. In fact, Malby was practically the one who had suggested we have girls day out as soon as we finished our examination.
I was very happy, mainly because of two reasons. One, she was back to her usual bubbly self. Always jovial and happy. Two, I needed this girls day out. I miss hanging out with the girls and also, after this term I will be gone. I’m getting transferred to a school at Texas. I will be staying with my uncle.
They were aware of that. That’s one reason why Malby had suggested we take a day out. Just the three of us. We even intend having sleepovers at Malby’s home.
But what’s seem to be dulling us right now is for the fact that Greta brou-ght us here. Like come on, who goes to a fu-cking shopping mall for girls day out?
I know most girls love that but Malby and i weren’t most girls.
“Oh my God, this dress is lit.” Greta pulled out a black dress from its rack and handed it over to Malby. “Go try it on.”
“I’m not.” Malby said.
“Well, you have no choice. And you guys should please brighten up your faces. It looks like I’m a mother who forced her two daughters to come shopping.” She said, the black dress still dangling freely on her finger. “And besides we need this for the oncoming party.”
“I hate parties.” I said.
“You do. But Malby don’t.” Greta said.
Malby rolled her eyes, snatching the dress from Greta finger and walking into the changing room to get changed into the dress.
“Do you think she’s okay?” Greta whispered to me, pointing at the changing room.
“I hope so.” I whispered back. “So, aren’t you going to get me a dress as well?”
“Coming right away.” She giggled.
??????????
We sprawled on the titles floor staring up at the whiteness of the ceilings.
The room was scattered with shopping bags and dresses neither if us having the strength to arrange them.
Malby decided to take the black dress due to how beautiful it looked on her. It showed off all of her curves. She was hot. Xander is surely going to trip when she gets to the school party ground. While Greta picked a red dress for me and she got a white dress for herself. White, Black, red… Tsk, what a perfect color combination.
“i’m gonna miss hanging out with you guys.” I said, breaking the silence.
“We too.” They said in unison.
“Promise to always call me if i don’t.”
“We promise.”Malby said.
“Speak for yourself, girl.” Greta said. “If you don’t call, I’m going to come over there and hit your square on the head.” She threatened, jokingly.
We all laughed.
“Yes ma’am.” I saluted.
We talked and laughed about everything and nothing. It was nice having my two best friends with me. I will miss them like crazy but what can I do? This life is all about goodbyes.
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#To Be Continued.