THE JAILBIRD (Episode 92)

© Aaron A. A

“In other news from the medical front, an incredible miracle unfolded in South Africa where two surgeons successfully separated ten-year-old British Siamese twins, Linda and Lindsey Lockeley, who were joined at the head and shared br@in tissues.

The surgeons, who are married, are Doctor Rupert Henderson and Mrs. Eyram Henderson. Eyram, who is a Ghanaian, used to be head of the Surgery Unit of the Eden Hospital here in Accra. It took an amazing thirty-hours to perform the surgery which other surgeons from Britain and the USA had warned had a hvge probability of failure and could result in the deaths of the twins. The twins are both well, and the surgeons have now gained worldwi-de admiration and reputation for their wonderful work. In an interview, the couple, who got married just a month ago, revealed that they plan to take a vacation in Ghana very soon and maybe stay in Ghana to practice…”



…reported that a Diarrhoeal outbreak at Sombo High Security Prison has rendered many inmates sick and many have been admitted to the hospital. One inmate, Mr. Steve Hollison, who is serving fifty years for his involvement in the King Shapiro cocaine case, was seriously affected and has been referred to the Korle Bu hospital. It is suspected that the epidemic was caused by beans which had been rendered unwholesome after being accidentally sprayed with pesticides, and which the health authorities had commanded the kitchen staff to get rid of. It was reported that Mr. Hollison had been pas-sing a non-st©p flow of stool and had to be transported by a special ambulance to Korle Bu. He is said to be in stable condition now. This sad event has infuriated the Health Ministers who has ordered an inquiry….


…it is in this regard that GIRL CRY OUT (GCO), a non-profit ma-king multinational Foundation based in Sweden, has decided to fund the full treatment of Miss Barbara Brooks in a specialist facility in Finland. It would be recalled that Miss Barbara Brooks was in the center of the highly-publicized court case of Mr. Chris Bawa, who ended up being s£ntenced to twenty-five years in prison after being found guilty of ra-ping Miss Barbara Brooks. In a dramatic turn of events, however, it c@m£ out that Miss Brooks suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder, and she was s£nt to the FredMaersk Specialist Institute where her condition deteriorated rather alarmingly. It was reported that Miss Barbara, whose dominant personalities were Barbara and Babs, ra-pidly took on the role of Babs, the little girl who was R@p£d by her father, and for many months she behaved like a little girl, crying for dolls and su-cking her thumb. The intervention by GCO therefore comes at a most opportune time. Hopefully Miss Brooks’ stay in Finland would help her find some peace and, perhaps, bring her back to normalcy….


…and it was a thri-lling but short night as the much-touted and highly anticipated rematch c@m£ on between the defending Grandmaster Champion, Mr. Chris Bawa, and the man he dethroned, Mr. Mike ‘The Crankboss’ Crankson. It was a triumphant return for the Grandmaster on a night many had feared would never come. Fears were rife when Mr. Chris Bawa went throu-gh a rather traumatic period of life, from his fight in court for false r@p£ charges to his three-month coma, followed by his beloved son’s six-month coma. It was wi-dely speculated that Mr. Bawa would retire again from Goju-Fist and concentrate on his restuarant, JUNIOR’S. However, Mr. Bawa later inti-mated that his wife and son had given him the go-ahead to stay in the highly-competitive and lucrative GojuFist industry, whilst still running his restaurant. Last night the GojuFist Arena was packed to the rafters again. However, it took only one round for Mr. Chris Bawa to demolish the Crankboss again in another clas-sy show of incredible talent, and it was absolutely devoid of the terrible punishment he meted out to Crankboss in their first fight. Later, Mr. Bawa dedicated the fight to his late friend, Mr. Darlett Thompson, and to his friend and trainer, Mr. Wailer Vroom. Later on he took time to take a picture with a formerly unknown Mr. Joe Duncan, a student at the University of Legon who, Mr. Bawa said, helped him with a motorbike ride one morning, a deed that saved Mr. Bawa’s life. Mr. Duncan’s proud girlfriend, Josephine, was also in the picture, which has since gone viral on the Legon campus and on Social Media. We all await the next title defense which would pitch Mr. Bawa’s skills and expertise against Hyun Ninchun Puuputie, the GojuFist champion from Thailand. Mr. Puuputie is…


…following an upheaval in the prison. Four inmates serving a total of 450 years were brutally sodomized by some inmates of the prison. The four, Mr. Zachariah Berma, known in the shady un-derworld as King Shapiro, Mr. Curtis Dan, Mr. Ato McBaiden and Mr. Jonathan Afful, were singled out for this savage attack. It was rumored that some of the inmates whose family were damaged by drugs, took revenge on the four men who were p@rt of the biggest drug cartel on the continent. The attacks took place in the morning shower. It has rendered the men totally shocked, and Mr. Jonathan Afful is said to be highly-traumatized. This Committee, therefore, was set up as a matter of urgency to look into this atrocity….



…between Elaine Boateng, the popular Heartbeat Television show hostess of the hit talk show GIRL VIBZ, and Mr. Wach!pa Sey, an Engineer and a Nature Watcher. Earlier in the year, Mr. Sey bec@m£ a s-en-sation in the country and on Social Media when his powerful c@m£ras captured the famous scenes that led to the unfair imprisonment of GojuFist Grandmaster Champion, Mr. Chris Bawa. These videos showed the real sequence of actions that eventually led to the arrest and imprisonment of Elaine’s former husband, Mr. Jonathan Afful and his accomplices. The Elaine-Sey r0m@nç£was much publicized, and c@m£ as a shock to many people, with some members of the society feeling affronted by their decision to tie the knot. It later c@m£ out that Mr. Sey was responsible for Elaine’s pregnancy. However, in a rather shocking move, Mr. Sey changed from Public Hero to Public Enemy Number One when he failed to show up for their wedding which was highly attended by Ministers of State, artists, and powerful movers and shakers from the corporate, political and entertainment worlds. It was indeed a day of great shame and indescribable humiliation for Elaine when, in her bridal dress, she finally fled from the church room wailing when Mr. Wach!pa Sey did not show up. It is reported that she is highly traumatized, and has taken refuge in the Mission Manse of Golgotha Heights International Church un-der the care of the Reverend br@nd Bawa. It has since emerged that Mr. Wach!pa Sey is wanted for similar offences in Canada, Australia, United Kingdom and Russia. Reports from Interpol indicates that in all these countries he impregnated high-profile women, promised to marry them, and then ditched them on their wedding days. An official Interpol record shows that he has so far done this to fifteen women, who have given birth to a total of seventeen fatherless children. This shocking revelation c@m£ to light and it has stunned many people. Apparently, Mr. Wach!pa Sey’s Interpol police record shows that he has multi-ple nationalities, and is a master of disguise, scamming women on the Internet until they give him plane tickets or money to join them. His police record indicate that when he was in his late teenaged years he caught his girlfriend ma-king love to his uncle, and this has affected him so much that it has turned him into a beast having a medically unstable mental condition, and he is out to get revenge against women. A warrant has been issued for his arrest, but he has not been seen so far. However, with the police from about six countries looking for him, we have no doubt whatsoever that soon this psych0tic evil man will be brou-ght to justice to answer.

To be continued

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