ROSES FOR RACHEL 💛
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🌺Episode_42 ☑
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Calvin stood up, pacing back and forth in front of my chair.
“Look, I told you before that when I first smelled your scent, I wrote you off. I didn’t think there was going to be a future with us, so I…well, I drank the blood samples from all of the other girls.” He said balling his fists as he spoke. “I was p@rticularly drawn to Lexton’s after I tasted it.” He admitted. “So much so, that when the servants tried to bring me more of everyone’s the next night…I requested that I only be brou-ght hers.” He sighed, and I could feel my f!ngersshaking in my l@p, echoing the shakiness of my breath. “This was before you and I started anything, Rachel. You weren’t anything to me then, just a…”
“Human.” I said hollowly.
Calvin st©pped in his tracks and pu-ll-ed his hands throu-gh his hair. “That isn’t what I was going to say!” He insisted, but I didn’t believe him. “I never thought you and I were going to happen. You were so unhappy here and constantly fighting me and everyone else, so I didn’t think anything about it when I allowed myself to…I’ve only drank her blood since she c@m£ here, even when I went away, Rachel, I took a supply.” He covered his face with his hands. “I can’t imagine how ha-rd it must be to hear that, but I promised to be honest with you.”
I finally looked up at him. “You’re right.” I whispered. “You have no idea how $h!tty it feels.”
He took a step towards me again, but I turned my head and he st©pped, going back to his pacing. “I enjoyed her company, and I think of her as a friend, but I’m…the only way I can describe it is like a craving, a strong craving that makes me go a little crazy in her pres£nce.”
“I don’t want to hear anymore.” I snapped, standing up from my seat and walking towards the door.
Calvin cut me off, standing in my way and looking at me with so much sadness, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel bad for him this time. “I have to tell you the rest.” He said so low I ha-rd ly could hear him. “The night that you and I got into that fight, when you almost killed yourself with that elixir…After I left you, I was so upset, Rachel. I was hurt and not thinking and I went to her. We…we k!$$£d.” He said in a rush, then held his hands up to me. “Nothing else like that has ever happened between us, we only k!$$£d the one time, but there is something else.”
I snorted a laugh. “What else could there be?” I sh0t back.
“I drank from her.” He said sheepishly. “If I could take it back, I would, but I drank from her and when you drink from a human that has an emotional connection to you alre-ady, something happens where they just…they want you.” He tried to explain. “It’s like something about my bite intensifies her feelings for me.” He shrugged his shoulders and looked at the ceiling again. “I wish I’d never drank her blood, Rachel, and I really wish I’d never drank from her directly, because now she feels attached to me and my cravings are only that much stronger.”
I felt anger, disgust, and betrayal, but most of all I felt jealous. I hated myself for it, but it was eating me up from the inside out. I stomped up to him, and sl@pped him as ha-rd as I could across the cheek. He turned his face away from me, then slowly he let his guilty eyes meet mine again. “I want you to drink from me.” I said angrily and his eyes wi-de-ned.
“No.” He said shaking his head and taking a step back.
I followed him, getting into his face. “Yes!” I insisted. “You drank from some other girl, and now you two are blood bonded, and she thinks she has some kind of hold over you, which obviously she does, so I want you to drink from me too.” I said in a rush. “I don’t want you to drink her blood anymore.”
“I won’t do it, Rachel.” He said lowly, but seriously. “If you don’t want me to drink her blood, that’s fine, it may be ha-rd , but I will do it.” He told me. “But I will not drink from you. Ever.”
I started crying again, feeling twice as stupid now. Not only did my husband have some weird bond with another girl, but he refused to drink my blood, which in itself was just an insane thought. “Why not, Calvin?” I asked. “If you love me, and not her, you would.” I knew how pathetic and desperate my words sounded, but they c@m£ out of my mouth anyway.
He stepped forward, holding my face carefully and his eyes baring into mine. “I will not ever drink from you, Rachel.” He repeated slowly. “I don’t want to be blood bonded with you. I don’t want to crave your blood all the time, it’s dangerous, I want to crave your t©uçh.” He whispered. “I don’t want to have to wonder if the feelings you have for me are real or not, I want to know you love me.”
I only cried ha-rder at his confession, my insides feeling like they were all caving in on each other. I’m not this girl. I had to remind myself over and over. I don’t want to be a vampire, I never wanted to fall for a vampire, and I especially never wanted to beg a vampire to drink from me because I was feeling insecure.
“Leave.” I said softly.
He held my face in his hands, trying to re-ad my expression. “Rachel, I love you, so much. I am so sorry I hurt you, but I only kept it a secret because I didn’t want to hurt you more.” He professed. “You have to believe me, I never would have done the things I did if I knew that you were going to be mine. I never wanted to hurt you, and I still nee-d to te-.”
“Leave.” I repeated, turning my face away. “I nee-d some time to myself, Calvin. I want you to leave me alone.”
He dropped his hands from me and stood motionless. “Rachel, I don’t want to leave things like this…I want to resolve it, I nee-d to know you forgive me.”
I rolled my eyes. “No, I don’t forgive you right now.” I snapped. “I nee-d some time, Calvin. This is a lot for me to just now be finding out about, then add this to the fact that you and Pedro are still being secretive, and you both didn’t even trust me to know the pas-scode to get out of here.” I g@sped for breath. “You are still keeping me here as a prisoner.”
“No, Rachel!” He insisted. “I will show you the way and give you everything you nee-d to have to leave if that’s what you want, but plea-se, Rachel you nee-d to-.”
“No!” I shouted. “You don’t tell me what I nee-d. I want you to leave me alone right now. I will come find you when I am re-ady to talk to you, but right now is not the time. I don’t want to say something I might regret later, so I nee-d you to leave.”
He looked torn, but he gro-an ed, running his hands throu-gh his hair again and stomped out of the room. Once he was gone I could finally feel things the way I nee-ded to without having the added pressure of protecting his feelings and not wanting to look mental in front of him.
My whole b©dy felt like it was shaking as I let out a low scream and started ripping the blankets and pillows off of the be-d, throwing them all over the room frantically. I plopped down on the floor in the wad of our sheets and cried it out like I haven’t done in a long time. Picturing Calvin drinking from Lexton made my stomach turn somersaults, and thinking about how she looked at him like she was so crazy in love with him burned my insides, but after a long while, the tears slowed, the anger drained, and reason c@m£ back. Calvin said all of this took place before we were together, and although he should have been up front about it a long time ago, I can kind of un-derstand why he hadn’t. Despite everything, I had always thought Lexton was a good person, and clearly she had gotten caught up in all of this too, and now she had to watch Calvin, knowing he was with someone else.
I sat up, wiping my tears and asked myself if I trusted Calvin. Without more than a moment’s thought, I knew the answer was yes. I know that he keeps things from me, and I know he can’t always be trusted one hundred percent when it comes to some stuff, but when it c@m£ to whether or not I believed he loved me, and whether or not I believed he’d be faithful to me, I trusted him.
If there is any chance of us putting this behind us, and moving forward, I nee-d to be completely in the know on all things from here on out. I was about to get up and go find Calvin when the door popped open and Pedro walked in, st©pping in his tracks suddenly when he saw me on the floor and the mess of the room. “What on earth?” He asked.
I glared at him, knowing he was one of the one’s keeping secrets. “I nee-d to ask you something.” I blurted out, memoires of my nightmare creeping into the back of my mind.
“Ok…?”
“Tell me about Calvin’s mother.” I said evenly, and the shock on Pedro’s face was apparent.
He shook his head at me. “We are not talking about that.” He said quic-kly.
“Either you can tell me, or I’ll just go ask Calvin myself.”
Pedro lingered in the doorway, looking at me ha-rd . “No, you won’t.” He snapped at me. “There were some things about her that he only found out after his father died, and you do not nee-d to bring any of it up.”
“Did his mom kill herself?” I asked, standing, trying not to picture her digging the dagger into the side of her n£¢k.
Pedro was a flash and then right in front of me. “He told you?” He asked skeptically and I knew I was right.
“No, but I had a weird dream.” I explained. “Why did she kill herself? And how did he not know?”
Pedro crossed his arms. “I don’t know why she did it.” He snipped, and I felt like it was a lie. “Calvin’s father told him that she’d had a heart attack so that he wouldn’t know, but just before Gordo died, he admitted the truth to Calvin finally. You shouldn’t mention it though, he had a very ha-rd time dealing with that, and then his struggles in battle, it’s all been so much on him.”
I scoffed at him. “You think I’m not going throu-gh stuff?” I countered. “I bet you knew about his little connection with Lexton and didn’t tell me, just like you keep lying to me about other stuff.”
He tilted his head. “What other stuff?” He asked carefully, and that was the confirmation I nee-ded.
I went to walk pas-sed him, but he blocked my path. “Don’t bring any of this up to him.” He demanded.
“Get out of my way, Pedro.” I snapped.
Pedro’s eyes darkened a shade. “I mean it, Rachel.” He said coldly. “If you ask him, he’s going to tell you, and I don’t want that to happen, and I am telling you, you don’t want to know either. Can you for once just trust that not knowing some things is for your own good? Do you love Calvin?” He asked and I nodded, unsure where he was going with this. “Do you want to be with him, and to stay here with him and me?” He asked gently. “You’re the first real friend I’ve ever had.” He added on, looking genuine.
“Of course I want to be with him, and I care about your friendsh!ptoo, but I nee-d to know what you are both hiding.” I insisted.
He put his hand onto my shoulder. “Rachel, trust me, if you want to be with him, and you love him as much as I know that you do…plea-se just let it go this once. You’ll only get hurt if you don’t.” His eyes were pleading. “We’ll all get hurt.” He whispered.
“What could be that big of deal?”
“Just don’t ruin it.”
I sidestepped him, and this time he let me go. I rushed from the room, and down the elevator to the libr@ry where I as-sumed I’d find Calvin. On the way there I ran my mind insane trying to guess what they were hiding, but then his words scared me. If knowing whatever it is means that I can’t be with Calvin, do I really want to know, as long as it isn’t hurting me? I was still undecided as I turned onto the right corridor.
“Don’t come down here!” I heard Calvin’s voice shout, but of course that only made me run in that direction.
I swung the door open to see a man and Calvin in the libr@ry in the middle of a heated conversation. “Is this her?” The man asked. “My Daniel had to die so that you could come home to this pretty little thing…your little pet?” He said sickly.
“Rachel, go, now.” Calvin whispered.
I shook my head. “That’s right, stupid girl, come on in here with us.” The man said un-der his breath. “What do you think, Cal, and eye for an eye?” He asked, turning to look at Calvin. “You killed my son, now I can take away what you love most.”
“No, we can talk about this.” Calvin said sternly.
The man shook his head. “Tell her goodbye.
“The man took a staggering step towards me, dragging his left leg slightly. “I hate that it had to come to this, but really, I’m probably doing you a favor.” The man’s shaking voice whispered as he looked me up and down with his striking green eyes. un-der any other circu-mtance I might have thought he was attrac-tive, but right now I was frozen in fear, waiting for Calvin to jump to my rescue, but he didn’t.
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To_be_Continued🔏