My Gift
05
I’m sitting in bed not knowing what to do but I’m happy that I will be going to school this Monday and today its Sunday. I would have loved to go visit my friend but she is not around she went to see her boyfriend. I still have Pride and predijuce in my hands but I can’t seem to bring myself into reading it. My mind is still on Lwandle and I don’t know why but I can’t seem to stop thinking about her. How her dreadlocks makes her face look small and those beads make her eyes pop.
I hear a knock on the door and I’m lazy to stand up but I know I have no choice but to stand up. I take my book mark from the dresser next to me and place it in the book so it will be easy for me to find the page when I come back. I place the book on the dresser and drag my body to the door. When I open the door Lwandle is standing there looking at me. She is wearing her usual long dress and beads around her neck.
“How can I help you?”
I ask looking at her and holding my arms. I’m in no interest in hearing what she has to say for not coming yesterday.
“To talk to you.”
She says pushing her way inside and not waiting for me to tell her that it is fine for her to come in.
“I didn’t say you could come in.”
I say closing the door and going to sit opposite her at she is sitting on the couch opposite the bed.
“Yet you closed the door.”
She points out and laughs a little and goes back to her serious self.
“Can you talk fast I was busy.”
I tell her and that’s a lie. I was not busy because I could not even consecrate on the book I was reading.
“I’m sorry about izolo. I’m really sorry.”
She says and I just nod my head.
“That’s all you going to say? Yes?”
She asks looking at me and I don’t know what she wants me to say because it’s not like she owes me any form of explanation. I’m in no way related to her so I’m fine with her explanation.
“What should I say when I wanted all night in the dark like a fool waiting for you.”
Is what comes out of my mouth. Totally different from what I was thinking. Totally different from what I wanted to say to her. I didn’t want to sound rude but right now I sound really rude.
“I’m sorry I had to deal with something that made it ha-rd for me to come and see you.”
She says looking at me.
“I had no way of telling you I can’t come I’m really sorry. You know having a gift to communicate with abadala makes it ha-rd for me to live a normal life I’m really sorry.”
She adds and she is still looking at me. I don’t know what to say. It makes sense that her gift makes it ha-rd for her to have a normal life. I have heard from people who have family members saying how ha-rd it is so I don’t blame her for not coming but I can’t seem to bring myself to forgiving her.
“I was looking forward to it.”
I say and laugh a little realizing how stupid it now sounds. That I was looking forward to spending time with her. I don’t even know what I was thinking.
“Why are you laughing I don’t think it’s bad to look forward to spending time with me.”
She says and smiles a little and my mouth involuntarily moves and forms a smile that I did not want to appear.
“We can still spend time together. Do you have anything to do.”
She asks giving me her hand to hold it and I find myself holding her hands. They feel soft like she has never worked a single day in her life but it could be true.
“I have nothing to do so its finenwe can hang out.”
I say and she smiles moving closer and sitting on the bed next to me.
“So what will we do?”
She asks me and I have no idea what we can do because when I’m with Nandipha we always have something to talk about or we take a walk around the village gossiping about everyone we meet on the way-well it’s mostly always her gossiping and I just do the listening. Both of these things are things I can not do with Lwandle because I don’t even know what she likes and does not like.
“When did you find out about your gift?”
The words live my mouth before I could even think about what I’m saying but she looks like she has not taken any offense.
“When I was 10 that’s when I fully knew about it but before that I would just see things before they happen but didn’t put mind to it. I mean I would dream being the one getting hurt only for my brother to get hurt the same way I got hurt in my dreams. Then one day when I was 10 I was in my room and my grandmother came inside and we talked I was surprised that she was out of hospital but didn’t think much about it. I mean I was happy that she is better then my father came only to tell me my grandmother is dead. What surprised me the most was the fact that she was sitting next to me.”
She says in a low voice.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up a painful past for you I’m really sorry.”
I say feeling sorry for her.
“Don’t worry about it. Times heals and I have healed a lot.”
She says smiling and I’m happy I did not offend her in anyway.
“So how was it growing up with your gift?”
I ask her.
“Normal I guess because no one knew about it till I was a teen but I still didn’t want to accept it. Till I got sick.”
She says and I nod my head like I understand most of the things she is saying.
“Now how is it?”
I ask her and she gives out a sigh.
“Its better I’m really trying to get the hang of it and it’s not as bad as I thought but it’s also not nice.”
She says looking at me and I also look at her. I have not noticed this before but her eyes have a beautiful sparkle.
“Can I ki-ss you?”
She says looking at me and I’m shocked my her question. I didn’t think she would ask me such a question.
“Yebo.”
The words live my mouth before I can even stop them and it’s like she was waiting for my answer because her li-ps touch mine and they feel cold. My first ki-ss is with a girl. She moves her li-ps slowly and I follow her lead. I’m not that inexperienced with ki-ssing I have seen people ki-ss,Nandipha told me how to ki-ss and I even used my hand as practice other times.
Its getting hot. I can feel the tingling sensation between my legs and I dont know what to do with myself. She pulls me closer to her and I’m now ontop of her and I dont see myself pulling away from her li-ps they feel really good but the goodness of the ki-ss is short lived when I feel Lwandle pull away from me. I don’t know what I did wrong because I really thought we where both enjoying it.
“I’m sorry did I do something wrong?”
I ask looking at her and she just smiles and I think that smiling is one of her hobbies because she always does it-smile.
“No you did nothing wrong MaLindi.”
She says and I smile when she saying that. Knowing I did nothing wrong puts my best at ease.
“I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable.”
She says and I shake my head showing her that she did nothing wrong.
“Okay then.”
She says and I don’t know what to say to her now really.
“You into girls?”
I ask and I feel bad about asking her this really.
“Yebo. Found out when I was around 9 and I had my first girlfriend at 13.”
She says and laughs a little. I’m still shocked by this whole thing.
“Does your family know ?”
I ask her because I know for a fact that my mother would kill me if she found out I was into girls-thats why I never told her.
“Yebo and they where really supportive more than I thought they would.”
She says and I think in my head that she is really lucky.
“You don’t look lesbian.”
I say to her and I know I sound stupid right now.
“I know Kodwa it does not mean I’m not one angisho?”
She says and smiles looking at me. I think I have found my biggest weakness.
“I know it sounds stupid. I don’t think I could gain the courage to tell my mom she would kill me.”
I tell her in a low voice and she nods.
“I’m sorry.”
She says and ki-sses my forehead.
.
.
Tbc