My Gift
19
I move a little as I wake up. Lwandle is sleeping next to me and I smile as the memories of yesterday come to play in my mind. We self together yesterday and I think it’s the best se-x we have ever had since we started being se-xually active.
“Ukuphi? I want my daughter!”
I hear someone screaming down the pa-ssage and I know that it’s my mother. I spring out of the bed and look around the room to find something to wear. I finally find the clothes I was wearing yesterday so I pull them on and go to Lwandle’s side to wake her up.
“Lwandle wake up”
I say that shaking her but she is not budging so I continue shaking till she starts moving a little and opens her eyes.
“Yini Kodwa Fuze I still want to sleep mina I’m tired”
She says in her still sleepy voice and I feel like hitting her with a pillow.
“Tell me where my daughter is what kind of family are you. We respect you as the royal family but you are using our kids”
I hear my mother shouting again and that seems to make Lwandle wake up fully.
“Is that your mom?”
She asks in a low voice and I nod my head. I don’t know what we are going to do and how my mother found out about me being here by the royal house
“What is she doing here? Kodwa nkosi yami.”
She says getting out of bed and as she is looking for her clothes the door is pushed open and my mother comes in. She looks very livid and has a wooden long stick in her hand and that alone makes me shake. I don’t want to be the victim of that stick I don’t want to be bitten because I know I will not be able to handle it.
“Wena is this the so cold cousin you told Nandipha to tell me about!”
She asks me shouting and I don’t know how to respond to her. Lwandle is now wearing a skirt alone and the sports bra that she was wearing when she went to sleep. She looks very beautiful but right now is not the time for me to be looking at how beautiful what she is wearing makes her.
“I’m talking to you wena so now you are doing the devil’s things wena you now exchanging spit with other girls Kodwa where did u fail ngawe?”
She says still shouting and the queen is standing behind her I’m sure she also does not know what to say in this whole situation.
“Mah can we please sit down and talk about this like adults”
The queen says and it’s like she is adding petrol to a already huge fire. My mother turns to look at her and sizes her with her eyes then clic-ks her tongue and turns to look at me again.
“Wena asambe”
She says pointing the stick at me.
“Mah please I can….”
She does not let me finish what I want to say she moves very fast from the door and the next thing I know the stick lands on my skin with great for-ce and i feel the pain shoot up my whole body. She lifts it again with intentions of striking me with it but Lwandle stands in front of me and it lands on her.
“Ahhh”
She screams out as she feels the pain that comes with the hit from the stick.
“Mah please don’t do this I will go with you.”
I say to her and she moves her eyes from Lwandle to me and you can see the disgust plastered on her face.
“Usameleni asambe phela”
She says and I follow her.
“I’m sorry”
I say looking behind me and mumbling so that she can not hear me my mother that is and we go home. I wish we could walk till God comes without getting home because I know when we get home it won’t be all nice. I will face the consequences of following my heart.
We finally get home and I feel like I will pee on my self. I feel very nervous even my hands a sweating and I feel like I will vomit anytime from now.
“Explain yourself Lindiwe Ngcobo please explain to me why you are dating a girl which demon took over my daughter?”
She asks me sitting on the bed and I don’t know how to answer to her question. How do I answer which demon took over my body when I didn’t know being les-bian is caused by a demon taking over your body.
“I’m talking to you wena answer me!”
She says shouting and bangs her fists on both sides of the bed.
“No demon took over my body”
I say and she looks at me like I just called her the ugliest person on earth.
“Then what do you call kis-sing a girl wena Lindiwe where did I fail with you Kodwa?”
She asks and it sounds like she is about to cry. I don’t want her to cry because of me I never meant for her to find out like this.
“You didn’t fail Mah I just..”
I say talking to sit next to her on the bed not knowing how to explain the whole thing to her.
“I just like girls that’s all it has nothing to do with the way that you raised me.”
I explain to her hoping that she will un-derstand. Hoping that she won’t think that I’m just joking around and taking her for a fool.
“Kodwa what will people say. They will say I failed as a mother and I don’t want that I don’t want to be known as the mother of the girl who kis-ses other girls. I wish your father was here maybe he would he talking some sense I’m this head of yours.
“Mah you should not care what people say. I also don’t want to be know as the girl who is unhappy because of her mother. A lot of girls out there are suffering the abuse from the community and the abuse from home only a few have the support of their parents and trust me that makes everything better for them because they know when the people outside being them down they have a family behind them and I want to have you Mah. I need your support and not your criticism about a demon entering my body.”
I say to her feeling like I will cry.
“Lwandle has the support from her family and she is happy because even if this whole thing comes out she will have her family behind her and mina who will I have?”
I ask her and stand up and go outside the hut. I want to go and be with Lwandle right now but I don’t want to seem disrespectful to my mom I mean she is still dealing with the fact that I date girls. I hear the door open and when I look up it’s my mother. She sits next to me and I don’t know what she will say to me now.
“I don’t want to fight mah”
I tell her and look the other side because I really do not want to fight right now. I just want to be held by Lwandle till I fall asleep.
“I know I also don’t want to fight sisi I really don’t yazi. I always wanted to be a good mom one who is open minded and one you could talk to and I guess I can’t be that mom if I don’t accept who you are. I will try Yebo I will try ngiyakuthembisa”
She says and I look at her shocked by the fact that she is going to try accept the fact that I’m lesbian.
“Wait you will try mah?”
I ask her and she nods her head. I lean in and hug her.
.
.
My Gift
20
It’s been a week since my mother accepted Lwandle and till today I do not know how she found out about our relationship. She does not want to tell me who told her so I have even stopped trying. It’s almost January now and the nerves are starting to kick in now and I don’t know what to do with myself. I have been doing almost the same thing every day which is cleaning, bathing, cooking, and reading, and it’s starting to frustrate me. My mother didn’t go to work today so I think my routine might be different today because she might do some of the chores.
I have not gotten out of bed and I need to do it now because if I don’t I will sit in bed the whole day. I throw the blankets to the side and get out of bed. I first need to brush my teeth before I can even think of starting to clean. As I’m about to go and get my toothbrush I hear a knock on the door. Whoever it is is brave because I hate people coming to visit me so early in the morning. I still look crusty like I’m a hobo. I drag my feet to the door and when I open its Nandipha.
“My friend!”
She screams and hugs me. I don’t want to hug her back but I end up hugging her.
“What are you doing here so early morning Kodwa?”
I ask her and she shakes her head going to sit on it like she owns this house.
“I was going to brush my teeth so wait for me”
I say and go to get my toothbrush not waiting for her response. I exit the room and brush my teeth by the far end of the compound and wash my face with the remaining water and go back inside.
“You still have not answered me phela”
I say to her and she looks up at me confused by what I’m saying.
“What are you doing here?”
I ask her again going to sit on the bed next to her.
“I’m your friend I come to visit you any time I want you should know this by now”
She says and she is right she comes to visit whenever this big head of hers tells her to.
“But I heard what happened I’m so sorry just know I didn’t tell your mother anything I mean I would not do you like that I swear on my parent’s grave”
She says and I laugh at her. I laugh ha-rd at what she is saying. I didn’t think that she thought I think that she is the one who told my mother about me and Lwandle.
“You have a wild mind wena I don’t think you told my mom about me and Lwandle so don’t worry about that”
I tell her and she nods her head like something has been lifted off her shoulders.
“Have you talked to her?”
She asks me and I know who she is talking about.
“Nope I have not and I don’t know what she is thinking right now”
I tell her and she nods her head opening her hand out like she is expecting me to give her something.
“Yini manje wena?”
I ask her laughing and she joins me.
“Give me your phone so that we can call her. I mean you need to know what she is thinking.”
She says between laughs and I don’t know if I want to call her right now. I don’t know if I want to know what she is thinking right now because it might break me.
“Don’t worry your mom is with her friend you know they always take time when gossiping”
She says and I nod my head I move from the bed and push my hand un-der the mattress and take out my phone.
“You put your phone un-der the mattress Kodwa my friend your life is hard”
She says and I laugh a little while sitting next to her. I switch on the phone and we watch as it switches on. We watch as it switches on and when it’s on I put on the pas code and call Lwandle.
“It’s ringing”
I say to her and she nods looking at me and I wait for her to answer.
“Hello?”
I hear her voice on the other side and I can tell that I just woke her up from her sleep.
“Lwandle you still sleeping at this time?”
I ask her the obvious and hit myself on the head with my hand for the stupid question I just asked her.
“Yebo I am. Ukuphi uMah I hope I won’t get you in trouble”
She says and now she sounds fully awake.
“No don’t worry I won’t get in trouble”
I tell her and u hear a huge sigh from her side.
“I’m sorry I got you in trouble I didn’t mean to”
She says and I nod my head like she can see me.
“Don’t worry I talked to her and she seems to un-derstand better than she did a week ago”
I say to her and Nandipha is still looking at me.
“That’s good I don’t know if I’m pushing it Kodwa I miss you mina Lindiwe can we meet?”
She asks me and I also miss her. I also want to be held by her.
“Tonight we can meet it’s fine”
I say to her without thinking and Nandipha looks shocked looking at me.
“Okay then see you then. I love you”
She says and I blus-h
“I love you too”
I say before dropping the phone and Nandipha hits my shoulder.
“Aii when you are going put at night.”
She says and I look at her like there is nothing wrong with what I planning to do.
“Yebo I miss her mina it’s been a week cabanga”
I say and she laughs throwing her head back.
“I hear you come with me I want to fetch water”
She tells me standing up and going out the door without waiting for my response.
I stand up and go to the closet to look for something to wear.
…………..
We are now on our way to the river and we are chatting up a storm.
“So how is it vele?”
Nandipha says out of the blue and I look at her feeling annoyed with her because she is saying things I do not un-derstand.
“How is what manje wena”
I say to her and she laughs.
“The se-x I always wondered how it would be like having se-x with a girl”
She says and I laugh at how ridiculous she sounds right now.
“It’s fine it’s nice futhi and I won’t talk about my se-x life with you”
I say
“se-x life”
She says laughing and we continue walking. We get there and it’s packed but I’m not surprised because of the time it is.
“It’s so packed yazi”
She says going to get the water. I didn’t bring a bucket for water because we are covered. I sit on the rock that I usually sit on with Lwandle. I see Ntokozo walking towards me. She is the village drama queen and I don’t know what she wants from me now because we are not friends.
“If it isn’t the village abomination”
She says standing in front of me with her arms folded.
“Yazi you shy people are dangerous shame”
She says again and I don’t know what she is talking about.
“What are you talking about?”
I ask and he laughs.
“Don’t act like you don’t know. Everyone around the village knows what you and the princess are doing. You guys have no shame”
She says and I look at her shocked by what she just told me. So everyone in the village knows about me and Lwandle?
I look around the river and it looks like everyone is looking at me.
“What’s going on here?”
I hear Nandipha say. She is carrying her bucket of water and I know she will start drama soon.
“I was just talking to this abomination you call a friend”
She says and I see Nandipha placing her water bucket near the rock I’m sitting on.
“She is an abomination because?”
She asks looking at Ntokozo
“Because she is dating the princess. I’m sure she bewitched the princess I feel for her”
She says rolling her eyes and they look like they are about to pop.
“Sizani boh nayi ingane inya!”
She says shouting clapping her hands.
“Aii Nandi stop it please let’s just go”
I say to her getting off the rock.
“So you also dating the prince? People saw you with him going to the car kis-sing”
She says and I feel for her.
“Yebo she is fu-cking both of them can you believe it”
Nandipha says in a sarcastic tone and I laugh. She always says if people want to talk about you give them something they want to hear.
.