By AMAH’S HEART.
“I was very angry with you Keji…
He finally said after breakfast as we sat together in his pri-vate sitting room.
Is been 8 days ever since the incident.
This was another morning breakfast we both had together.
He refused me going back to my ap@rtment. Phil said is not safe and his mind won’t be at rest if I go back.
He got another ap@rtment for me in an estate close to his.
It wasn’t re-ady for me to move in yet so he asked me to stay with him until the ap@rtment is fully set.
For the entire eight days straight that I have been here, I have made different attempt for Phil to go inti-mate with me but to no avail.
I sleep in the room next to his but he acts like I’m invisible.
Today, while sitting with him, i brou-ght up the t©pic of how I miss my ap@rtment and would have still be there if not for Bayo.
Phil who has not really scolded me over the entire incident decided to go back to it.
“… As much as I don’t want to go back to what happened but is worth talking about.
He bec@m£ quiet as he stare at one of the wall paints hanging in his living room.
“I’m really sorry Phil. I never meant for any of that to happen… everything took me by surprise. Like Bayo showing up out of the blues and feeling so entitled to come into my ap@rtment and straight to my kitchen after telling his c0ckand bull stories. I couldn’t think straight at that moment. I just did the only thing I thought was wise in my eyes…
He remains quiet as his eyes travel to an oil canvas hanging above the television.
He returns his eyes to the music show pla-ying on the TV quietly.
He was not willing to talk as he remains quiet, I continued speaking.
“…I know my life is a mess, so complicated…i really don’t know why things doesn’t always go in my favor. I have so much baggages Phil…i didn’t choose, life just thrû-st me off and on. Ever since you step into my life is begins to have a meaning…I wouldn’t trade you for anything Phil. I really do appreciate everything you have done and still doing for me. You ha….
He looked at me and interrupted.
“Enough of me Keji, is not about me…is about you. Try to think before ma-king decisions sometime. I mean what if Bayo overpowered you that night and hurt you, what if he succeeded in escaping…gone again with your money. What happened to your bank account that you decided to sto-re such amount at home. I know you will probably say is for emergency reasons which is good and wise… yes, but Bayo could have gotten away with it for the second time, it would have been so foolish of you. My major anger is how you took risk… with a criminal in your ap@rtment and you choose not to tell me. Just…what if something bad has happened to you Keji? I’m angry for different reasons but I have sle-pt over it for days now and moving on but I do want you to know something Keji, we are in a relationsh!pand every wrong decision you makes affect not only you but me too.
He paused, looked at me and back at the wall canvas.
I kept staring at his k!ssablel-ips, his pointed nose, his S-xy eyes and fresh skin while he speaks.
I was sitting in a different cushion next to his. As I imagine different things in my head I couldn’t help but to start grinning from ear to ear.
I feel very lucky to have Phili-p.
He looked at me again and asked.
“…Did you get any of what I just said… I’m very serious with my words… this is no child’s pl@yKeji. I wanted our dinner d@t£ to be one to remember but it was ruined due to the kind of wrong decisions you made and now I have to restrategies all over again…is not funny Keji. St©p looking at me all over and smiling to yourself. I can bet on what you are thinking but there’s time for everything…
I straightened and apologies.
“Loos£n up Phil, I’m sorry… really sorry. I promise it won’t happen again. Let bygones be bygones. I’m only smiling because you look so cute when you are angry…
He shakes his head pathetically while I went on laughing.
He focus on the television.
“You knew Bayo was lying right? How did you know?
I asked while standing and moving closer to him.
“I just knew. It was very obvious that he was lying. His words wasn’t ma-king any s-en-se to me… I’m not stupid to consider any element of truth in what he said.
I sat next to him and placed my hand on his l@p daring him to k!ssme.
But he was obviously not in the mood.
“Is that the only thing that made you think Bayo was lying…?
He turned and looked at me, curved a smile and said.
“I know what exactly you want to hear Keji. Okay… when he mentioned the size of my man-hood…and how you complained of not getting satisfied because of the size… You know. If I was in a lighter mood I could have laugh it out but I wasn’t. We haven’t even go that de-ep… You obviously don’t know what I carry un-derp@n-ts except if you have a microscopic eyes to scan throu-gh. Let’s talk about something else Keji. My Dad called me this morning from London…him and my Mom will be going over to visit my uncle. Dad’s younger brother who is based there with his family…my kid sister will be going with them. She can’t get enough of having Dad and Mom aroun…
I interrupted immediately.
“That’s beautiful Phil. I’m glad that your parents are having a great time in London. I want us to return back to our old t©pic… when are we going to make love like normal couples in relationsh!pdo. For days now I have been trying to get you to notice that I’m a lady with nee-d. I really want to know the size of your…stuff..
I pointed a f!nger where his chairman was relaxing.
He looked at me in a weird way. He probably thinks I’m crazy but I try to leave shyness aside and express myself in that area like I have always wanted to do.
We are more than six months in the relationsh!p. I haven’t been in a relationsh!pthat I will stay more than two months with a man and not get la-id.
Once I’m in a relationsh!pone of the things I look forward to is the rumbling and cudd-ling in be-d with my man.
Is mostly after a week of been in a relationsh!pthat the be-dmating begins.
the highest I have stayed without getting to see the action p@rt of my man in be-d is two months because the guy in question was a fanatic chuchy type but he later suc¢v-mb. He couldn’t stay anymore without tou-ching me.
Isn’t love ma-king p@rt of the fun and glows in relationsh!p?
I thought Phil will want to t©uçh me same day we bec@m£ an item.
We have known each other for way too long before officially going into a relationsh!p. If he had wanted to get down with me same day I could have been happy.
But after few k!sses he left. I kept hoping that he will ask but three months went by and he didn’t ask.
Yesterday made us six months and one week in the relationsh!pand yet he doesn’t appear like one re-ady to take me to cloud nine.
Is a total different thing if I’m not in a relationsh!pbut I am with the cuties man alive.
The man that I have never st©p fantasizing over, he was my prince charming even before he noticed me. I have de-sired him way too long before we are finally together.
Now that I have him, he is still restricting himself from me. It means that I don’t fully have him all.
What is the point of our togetherness when we can’t make out like normal people do.
Is love ma-king only for married couple, since we are both adults, love each other what is holding us back again?
Phil!pdoes every thing for me but he has refused to receive his rightful reward from me.
I could have given him the satisfaction he nee-ds in be-d. Like he has never experienced before in his life.
I can’t hold it in anymore, I nee-d more than just k!ss!ngand few t©uçhes here and there.
I’m a S-xual active lady and there is no sin in boldly acclaiming to this.
I was only patient this months, waiting till the time Phil will be re-ady but the fine young man does not look like he will be ever re-ady soon.
Is high time to get him in the mood.
Maybe if I offer it to him he won’t have choice than to accept.
He is probably waiting for me to make the first move.
I k!$$£d his cheeks before standing. He watched me move to the door and make sure it was securely locked.
I cat walked back to him, stood in his front and started un-bu-ttoning my shi-t.
“What are you doing?
He asked uncomfortably.
” Isn’t it obvious? I’m trying to s£dûç£you of course. You are always too serious maybe is time to loos£n up a bit Phil… let’s spice up our relationsh!p.
I un-bu-ttoned my shi-t, threw it to the floor.
I stood with my br@ and was about pu-lling down the short Sk-irt that I wore when he pu-ll-ed me to sit on his l@ps
“Who put this dirty ideas in your head? is it Bayo’s words that got you thinking about it or is what you always wanted to do…
“Is not Bayo’s words or anyone’s. I have always wanted you to make the move. I mean I have seen every other side of you except the intim-acy p@rt. I have imagined what it will look like Phil, I just can’t wait anymore. I nee-d you to do it if you truly loves me…
He curved a smile as he looked at my well endowed br£@st still tucked inside the br@.
I was ma-king progress and I can see de-sires in his eyes.
Exactly what I have wanted.
I lift up his head and k!$$£d him fully on the mouth, he responded.
I carried his hand and placed on my brea-st, asking him to fondle it.
His hands remained frozen where I placed it.
I gently bite his ears and whispered he should un-hooked the br@ and do whatever he likes with the br£@st in his hand.
He didn’t un-hook, I quic-kly did that for him as the whole thing poured into his hand
He moved his hand up and down my br£@st like a robot.
He later re-moved his hand and placed it on my w@!st.
I almost sighed out my frustrations.
I lowered my hands to his man-hood. He flin-ched a little.
I continued the work, still ma-king progress. He didn’t st©p me.
I felt a budge and smile. It was a big one indeed but I still nee-d more confirmation to ascertain what I was seeing un-der the trou-ser.
I placed my hand on it, just as my hand make contact with it, he quic-kly re-moved my hand.
He pushed me aside, stood up and straightened.
When I thought that I was going to take him to a cli-max he just shifted me aside.
He g@sped out before looking at me.
Not at my still ba-re brea-st, but fully in the face.
“We can’t always have what we want Keji. Even in freedom I’m still not free to do as I plea-se. I’m bonded to purity, right parental upbringing, self discipline and fear of God Keji. Yes, I know I’m a full grown adult but that doesn’t qualify me to an immoral act. If I live as I plea-se, I will have different women coming and going as they plea-se. I might even have one baby mama somewhere by now if I live without fear of certain things. Me and you wouldn’t have happened, I could have included you in my used and dumped women list and I will have no guilt feeling over that. I choose not to be the happening guy or allow the world to placed me where they want. I’m well expo-sed, and move around with over expo-sed guys too but I’m not confirmed to their world. No one f0rç£ me to do what I don’t want Keji. You will have to wait until I’m re-ady. I’m not running away, I see no reason for the rush. We’re just six months…not six years. Not having S-x won’t kill any of us and having it won’t still add or reduce the way I feel about you. I don’t know if I make any s-en-se to you… plea-se wear your clothes Keji let’s go out for a swim. You will feel better after a long swim…
He stood waiting for a disappointed me to get re-ady but all I did was to pick up my br@ from the ground and held it in my hand. Still hoping that he will change his mind.
He walked into his room, leaving me alone
He later c@m£ out fully on his swimming suit with a towel hanging on his shoulder.
I was still holding my br@ without ma-king effort to wear them.
Instead of leaving me to suit myself, he dropped his white towel in a chair and c@m£ to me., Collected the br@ from my hand, and tries to put it back on for me.
He was finding it difficult in hooking it.
“This thing seems more difficult than I thought. How do you ladies manage to hold it all in, I mean don’t you gets uncomfortable sometimes… I’m almost running out of breath just to put the first hook. Can you help me… plea-se?
He left it, c@m£ to my front and bent over. He was obviously trying to cheer me up.
“…I really don’t know what you are thinking right now. But is better not be rejection because I didn’t reject you or your advances, i only want it to happen at the right time Keji. We will get to tear ourselves into pieces in be-d if we want but not yet Keji. Your past relationsh!ps records probably did things differently than I. It obviously change your orientation about S-x and love. I’m not trying to prove any point or to think I’m better off than anyone. I’m just me… I’m super free to do as like but I won’t abuse my freedom to plea-se the entire corrupt minded human race. Stay with me and un-derstand me wholly and you may get to see things in a different points of view.
“Are you a vir-gin… have you had any intim-acy with a woman before?
I asked him. He stood up, picked up his towel and hanged it back on his shoulder again
“Mmmm… More..ni…keji. hope I got it right? You are quiet a handful. My vir-ginity shouldn’t be another t©pic of discussion today… let’s talk about it next time my love. But be aware that my refusal to get inti-mate with you has nothing to do with whether i am a v!rg!nor not. My decision to stay away from S-xual int£rç0rs£is entirely my choice. Having said that… now can we go? Maybe you will get to tell me the meaning of your name…and the reason behind it if there’s any. C’mon Keji… brighten up let’s go.
I stood, flashed him a smile. Got dressed and we left.
He had a hand to my w@!st after glancing at my f!ngers.
“I will pick you up from your catering school on Friday and we can both drive out for a nice time. On Saturday, I want us to have another special dinner d@t£…plea-se try not to ruin this one. I really do want it to be very special just you and I with candle light and roses. Then by tomorrow which is Sunday we can both go over to Chike’s house. Let’s pay them a visit together…what do you think?
I agreed with a full smile.
He sure knows how to get me in a special way.
Phil asked me to tell Ijeoma to bring drinks and whatever I will like to chew by the pool.
He stood waiting for me while I went to the kitchen
After informing Ijeoma, I turned to leave. she said to me.
“This is your moment, but remember it won’t last. You’re just among many other ladies the boss has used and dumped in the past. He’s rich, handsome and well connected so is only normal for ladies like you to want to flock around him like bee. Make good use of your time because the end is near and I will be here when you will come crying blood and I will have the last laugh. The only thing you will ever be to him is a mere girlfriend. The boss is careful with women… especially gold diggers like you so that you don’t tra-p him with pregnancy. He is an igbo man, his wisdom is follow come…it runs in the blood. You will grow old if you are waiting for him to marry you…it will never happen. The boss has a woman, whom he loves dearly. Amara is his childhood friend that they grew fond of each other and thought it will lead to marriage. But there’s another lady that he doesn’t joke with. You don’t know about her because you aren’t important… even his parents knows about this lady because she is the one they approve for their son. You are just a pas-ser-by. Your pres£nce doesn’t count onye ofe mmanu. Go and get your own Yoru-ba man and leave our Igbo finest alone. He will never be yours… try everything you can. The boss belongs to another. Okay..bye bye, gaa kwaazie ndi yard unu. (Go and tell your yard people)
I try to smile even in the means of the troubling news Ijeoma gave.
Phil will be waiting for me but I nee-d to give Ijeoma a piece of my heart before leaving
I said to her angrily
“When your boss decide to make me his Queen for life, one of the first thing that i will do is to fire you…i promise you Ijeoma. I will fire you immediately for being a pain in my n£¢k. And be certain that it will happen because very soon I will be pregnant for your boss. He’s a big cat fish, I know his worth without being told. As a smart babe that I am I won’t let him sl!poff my f!ngersjust like tha….
“What are you talking about Keji? So, I’m a big cat fish… really?
It was Phil. I’m in serious $h!t.
I swallowed ha-rd and didn’t bother turning immediately.
Ijeoma began to smile mischievously.
She gr@bb£d her opportunity and began to say both the ones I said and what I never said.
Phil shunned her.
I turned quietly to face Phil.
He looks disappointed as he asked Ijeoma to shut up.
“Be quiet Ijeoma, I heard enough of what she said…I don’t nee-d an informant. You nee-d to start learning how to respect Keji, she is not your colleague anymore…. hope you un-derstand that clearly? Keji, plea-se next time use big lion or elephant to refer to me not a cat fish. I don’t even like cat fish….
He smiled to ease my worries as he stretched out his hand towards me.
I can re-ad disappointment in his eyes. He is only being noble because of Ijeoma.
I took his hand and we walked away.
Ijeoma has really pushed me to say what I never meant to say. I was only trying to get back at her. I ended up saying the wrong thing.
Now Phil will think that my main purpose of pressurizing him to get into be-d with me is for my selfish reasons.
I don’t know how much he heard but I as-sumed he heard enough to nail me.
How do I even convince him that I was only blabbing out of anger.
Hope I haven’t ruined another dinner d@t£ with Phil!pbecause of Ijeoma.