More than a game
→→→ Jilting the tits ←←←
By Bunmi B. Gabriel (BB)
Book five
Hailey’s standpoint
Hans had his hand on Iris’s shoulder as we walked into the cafeteria, Lee talking loudly about a guy who disrespected her in the morning. I was observing Iris, she’s odd. Sometimes, she’d mutter to herself while looking at her left or right. Something is weird about this girl. Hans laughed and nodded, proud that someone could talk back at Lee. It’s rare.
‘Hans, can I speak?’ Iris spoke lowly, almost inaudibly. Trust Hans to hear. He reached his hand forward and pinned Lee’sl-ips together. She looked like a duck with herl-ips stretched out. I bur-st into laughter, laughing at her weird look.
‘Quack, quack!’ I quacked. Hans laughed too while Iris just sighed.
‘Can you guys listen to me?’ She whispered.
‘Okay,’ I said between my laugh. Hans cleared his throat.
‘Shouldn’t we be planning our d@t£s, the fake one to convince everyone that we are together?’
‘What’s the use?’ I asked plainly.
‘Well, the use is quite simple,’ she said nervously. ‘People would see us together and help confirm it. If we are never seen in public together, how would they believe?’
‘By me k!ss!ngyou in school, easy.’
‘Hans, be serious,’ she scolded. ‘I’m being serious here, don’t you guys get my point? Ivan would definitely be monitoring us and if we never do meetings outside the school premisses, he’ll get suspicious.’
‘Hmmm,’ Hans said, stro-king his chin and feigning thoughtfulness. ‘I’m not convince.’ Lee and I laughed loudly. She sighed and re-moved his hand from her shoulder.
‘Is it that you are trying to make people believe, or you just want to finalise your daydream that this thing is real?’ I asked sm-irkingly. ‘Don’t fall for my brother, you are not his type.’
‘I would warn you only once Hailey, be careful what you say to me or you won’t like the Iris you’ll meet. I am not stupid, neither am I a gold digger. If it wasn’t for mother’s health, I wouldn’t be mingling with rich spoilt br@ts like you two… Not you Lee, you’re a darling…’ Lee giggled at that. ‘Now I will say it again, back off Hailey, I don’t tolerate nons-en-se from idiots.’
I opened my mouth to reply her but she pushed me out of her way, ma-king me reel back in shock. I almost crashed on the floor if it wasn’t for Hans. She went to buy her food, annoyance clearly written allover her face. ‘Why did you say that Hail, do you always have to be so rude?’ Hans asked frowningly.
‘I nee-ded to remind her that she’s just being used, nothing more. She is not your type.’
‘And what makes you think you know my type,’ he snapped. ‘If you think she isn’t my type, then you know nothing about me.’ He stood me back on my feet gently and walked out of the cafeteria.
‘You had to open your mouth,’ Lee sighed. ‘Do you always have to talk?’
‘I was only trying to let her know she is wasting her time.’
‘Hailey, Iris is a girl of pride and autonomous; an independentist. She is alre-ady feeling bad for accepting help, you are ma-king her feel worse. If mom was to be the ill one, how would you feel? Wouldn’t you do everything you can to get her to feel better?’
‘I would but…’
‘No buts Hailey, you are just like Phoenix. You two only think about yourselves and benefits. Even if you love Hans, you won’t deny that you are doing some things you are doing for your own good. I don’t even know what I’m saying, but st©p insulting that girl. I know Iris isn’t one you can step on, she’s different and will teach you a lesson if you dare her. Be careful Hailey.’ I couldn’t believe my siblings talked to me in such manner because of that stranger. That’s so unfair.
But they are right, you are being too arrogant and snooty to her.
Not now subconscious, you are suppose to agree with me.
‘Hey,’ Iris said lowly, she was back with two trays. ‘I’m sorry about what I said,’ she apologized. ‘Don’t get mad, I just didn’t like what you said to me.’
Lee gave me a look; “swallow your pride and do what is right.”
Why should I? She insulted me.
Hailey, don’t be a bit-ch.
‘Yeah, I’m sorry but I was only trying to remind you that you are not our clas-s and once all this is over, you’d be gotten rid of.’
$h!t! That c@m£ out wrong.
‘Hailey,’ Lee whined.
‘Geez, thanks for the solid reminder, I’ll try not to forget that one.’ She said sardonically, a sneer on herl-ips.
‘I didn’t mean it like that,’
‘Lee, where’s Hans?’ She asked, ignoring me.
‘He left,’
‘Oh, okay, see you later.’ She walked to the door with the trays.
‘Where are you going?!’ Lee shouted.
‘Someb©dy has got to find and calm him down,’ she replied casually, her pitch normal but still loud enough for us to hear.
‘Alright!’ Lee shouted back. She gave me a sardonic grin and skipped to the lunch lady to buy her food. I sighed, not having the appetite for food anymore.
Me and big mouth.
Hans’ standpoint
I pinched the bridge of my nose in annoyance, muttering curses to myself. Hailey’s snooty attitude have always been my problem. Her conceitedness have been the one reason we fight all the time. Unlike Lee, she’s bossy, rude, demeaning, mean and snooty; sanctimonious and more pretentious than required. The funny thing is that she would never agree that she is like that, she would never admit that she has pride. How could she insult that girl to her face knowing that all she’s doing is for her mother and not herself.
You shouldn’t be surprise, she’s Hailey after all… My subconscious said.
I just want her to change. Her attitude is why Richie refuse to ask her out. She’s unbearable and mom isn’t even like this.
‘Hans?’ I blinked my eyes and looked up. It was Iris, she looked sad. ‘Can I sit?’ She asked unsurely. I was sitting at the lawn cafeteria. It was made for those who prefers sitting out and eating on green nature and for peace and quiet. The outside cafeteria is always cold or windy, never h0t. It was good for h0t days.
‘Do you nee-d my permission to?’ I chuckled. She f0rç£d a smile and sat down. ‘Two trays?’
‘Erm…yes…’ She coughed.
‘Did you bring the other one for me?’ I asked smilingly. ‘That’s so sweet except that I don’t eat vegetables, I eat mostly meaty and fishy food.’ I took the tray with three h0tdogs, one ketchup and a can of fries and bowl chilli. She watched me take it with a look of hesitation. She didn’t want me to take her tray.
‘This tray is for Violet,’ she murmured.
‘The who?’ I asked, picking up a h0tdog.
‘Nevermind,’ she said softly. I took the ketchup and poured it into the h0tdog, watching at her from the corner of my eyes. She was looking at the h0tdogs with despair, obviously not wanting me to eat it. ‘Don’t you use mustard?’
‘I am allergic to mustard, makes my b©dy turn yellow with little pink sp©ts. Why didn’t you bring it? Did Lee tell you that?’
‘No,’ she said unsurely. ‘Violet is allergic to mustard too.’
‘Who’s Violet?’
‘Nob©dy,’ she said, looking everywhere but my eyes. I watched her mutter something as she looked to her side. She’s so odd. ‘You can eat mine,’ I heard her say. She shared her weird salad dish into two and smiled.
‘Why do you have two straws in your soda?’ I inquired puzzledly.
‘What do we do about the d@t£? People nee-d to see us outside. This is utterly useless. Why not just let that friend of yours be and not act so immature by trying to get back at him.’
‘One, he is not my friend. Two, this immaturity is well deserved. I want both of them to die of jealousy a little and three, this immaturity is paying your mother’s hospital bills. If we st©p it, what about her?’ She looked down at her salad sadly. ‘I’m sorry if that offends you.’
‘You guys don’t nee-d to ru-b my financial status in my face. I know I am helplessly poor when it comes to her, I get it. Just don’t make me feel worse.’
‘I’m sorry, I will never say such again,’ she remained quiet. I kicked her leg un-der the table. ‘Come on now, smile for papa,’ she rolled her eyes. ‘Come on sugarplum, smile for daddy,’ she chuckled and smiled, her brightest so far. ‘That’s the spirit!’ I exclaimed. She laughed a little. ‘Now, any idea where we should go? I’m thinking a gym, bowling, cinema, fishing… Ooh! The mall!’
‘Okay sunshine, bowling is a no go. There is no way on earth I’m going to dress us and carry my miserable b©dy to a stupid bowling house, only to change my gorgeous shoes for dirty, ugly ones. Two, gym, ew Hans, ew. Why should I go to a sweat infested junk yard with bunch of freaky muscular but ugly looking Samson wannabes? Like what, that is so disgusting. Even the females there mostly go to check who has got the ti-ghtest as-s and muscular biceps they can hold on too while ri-ding them like a horses.’
‘Wow, that’s pretty de-ep.’
‘Cynical in a sort of way,’ she corrected. ‘Three, the movies will be too dark, no one would see us anyways or maybe they will but I don’t want you all up in my personal space. I don’t like movies, I hate em and I heard people get too t©uçhy in there…’
‘That’s the girl’s job.’
‘Too bad, I’m not your average sane girl.’
‘What about the…’
‘Fishing?! Are you nuts?! I can’t get myself in a boat on the middle of a river or lake, sitting there for hours and waiting for my hook to catch a prey, smelling like jui-ced worm, boiled scale and we-t moss. Only to end up with no catch or a tiny little crayfish as price for wasting my as-s.’
I chuckled. ‘Then you’ll love the mall?’
She face palmed herself and gro-an ed with frustration. ‘The mall? Seriously Hans? You don’t expect me to waste hours of my valuable time going from one sto-re to the other looking for fancy dresses and the perfect shoes, or even nice glas-ses or jeweleries and phones or whatever teenage morons buy in a mall. Ew Hans, ew. I would rather spend my time re-ading a good book or cooking or even working than be there.’ She spoke like I told her to sell her kidney.
‘You are such a girl,’ I whined. She dropped her face into her hands and gro-an ed again.
‘I am a girl you gidiot,’ she snapped. ‘Geez,’ she t©uçhed her forehead with a exhausted look. ‘Only few minutes with you and I am alre-ady losing my usual phlegmatic attitude. You are contagious,’ I grinned. ‘Don’t grin, you just deleted ten years out of my lifespan.’
‘Okay, fine,’ I raised my hands up in surrender. ‘Any other bright idea, Unicorn?’
‘Don’t call me that,’ she snapped.
‘Unicorn, there is something else we can do,’ I said, a sly sm-irk settling onto myl-ips. ‘I do believe I have a very comfortable be-d in my luxurious be-droom.’ I wiggled my brows suggestively.
She stared at me mirthlessly. ‘Ew Hans, again, ew.’
‘What? My be-d is always comfortable,’
‘Be serious Hans,’
‘I can only be serious in the comfort of my be-droom,’
‘Hans,’ she whined. ‘We nee-d to be serious here. Now what other non s£x, cops, drugs, vandalism, p@rties or alcohol related suggestions do you have?’
I pouted. ‘Kill joy,’
‘Maybe I should kill you and you will be serious for once,’ she threatened.
‘But if I’m dead, how would I be serious?’
‘God!’ She shouted out with frustration. I started laughing. Who knew I could this annoying, I’m impressed. She did a two minutes breathing test while I ate my h0tdogs and fries.
‘Are you done?’ I asked.
‘Hans, for the last time, any other suggestion? If not, then we are re-ading books.’
‘Or…’ I pushed my empty plate aside and leaned over the table, dramatically if I may add. ‘What about football?’ I whispered.
She scrunched her nose in distaste. ‘Football? What in the world is ro-mantic about being tra-pped in a crowded bleacher with hundreds of crazy jobless fans, wasting my life and time watching a bunch of ugly, sweaty jocks run back and forth pas-sing their stupid br@ins in the form of a ball and bulldozing each other to amuse people? If they want to die so badly, they can generously donate their inner organs for charity and die knowing they did something good. Honestly, I rather spend those hours watching a tortoise walk than to watch them.’
‘You just insulted me, I’m a quarterback.’
‘What’s a quarterback?’
‘p@rt of a football pla-yer, the most important pla-yer in the team and also the captain,’ I said proudly.
‘No wonder you are useless,’ she drawled sardonically. I leaned away from her with a frown. ‘Sorry,’
‘Think about it Unicorn,’ I said, alre-ady picturing the scenario. She cheering me on and Ivan hitting his head against something ha-rd . ‘You could be cheering your big, handsome, strong and intelligent b©yfri£ndon…’ She snorted at that. ‘Then we can share our first marital k!ssin the middle of the field after the game.’
‘Humph,’ she said phlegmatically and folded her arms. ‘In case you haven’t realised it, I am not much of a shouter.’
‘I said cheer, not shout.’
‘Nuance,’
‘Aren’t you dying to watch the way these bad boys flex when I pla-y?’ I flexed my muscles which was visible throu-gh the ti-ght cap sleeved shi-t I wore. ‘Have you seen my babies?’ I k!$$£d my muscles. ‘Cool, eh Unicorn?’
‘St©p calling me that,’
‘Come on, Unicorn, you won’t regret it. By the time you see me on the field, you would feel more proud to have me as your sweetheart. Huh, Unicorn?’
She exhaled throu-gh her nostrils and leaned on the table, placing her hands un-der her chin. ‘I’m going to feel like the luckiest tit alive to be with such a big, strong…’ She rolled her eyes. ‘And handsome football pla-yer, right snuggly-snuggie?’
The big grin wiped out of my face, I hate that name. My maternal grandmother always call me that, so annoying. ‘Don’t call me that,’
‘What? Call you what, Snuggly?’ She asked innocently. I dropped my head on the table with a ban-g.
Ow!
‘Ouch,’ she chuckled. I turned my head, resting my left cheek on the table so I could see her.
‘You feel good, huh?’
She shrugged. ‘Only because I cabe successfully annoy you. Call me Unicorn, and I’ll call you Snuggly Snuggie.’
‘But you are a unicorn, your hair and colourful purple self says it all.’
‘Leave my purple alone, mind your own business,’ she huffed. ‘I’m still not going to that stupid game.’
‘What’s my name?’ I sm-irked.
‘Why should I care?’
‘What’s my name, Unicorn?’
‘Snuggly Snuggie,’ I gritted my teeth and exhaled. ‘If you want me to come, then help me join the cheerleaders.’
‘I thought you don’t shout and you don’t look like someone who can shake her b©dy dancingly without twisting yourself into a knot.’
‘Geez, thanks,’ she said sarcastically. ‘Well, I love cheering for my favorite sport, basketball. Your school offer basketball too, right?’ I nodded. ‘There’s another set of cheerleaders for that team?’
‘No, the same. We have games and practice on different days, same to the soccer team.’
‘Perfect,’ she cl@pped her hands. ‘I wanna cheer for them; the basketball team. I love pla-ying basketball too, do you?’
‘Judging by how I joggle being in the basketball and football team, I think I do.’
She g@sped. ‘You pl@yboth my best and hated sport?’
‘Yeah, but I’m a normal pla-yer in the basketball team. Taking a bigger responsibility would make it ha-rder to pl@yboth.’
‘Are you the best? Ever got asked to be the captain?’ She asked excitedly, she really loved it.
‘Thrice,’ I replied imperturbably. ‘Turned it down.’
‘Awwwn,’ she awed sadly. ‘Oh well, can I join the cheerleaders? Pretty plea-se?’
‘That’s even more perfect. My gorgeous… Almost ugly girlfriend cheering me on in her short Sk-irt and pompoms, nice.’ I said, stro-king my chins. She rolled her eyes.
‘I won’t cheer for the sweaty jocks,’
‘We are all sweaty jocks.’
‘Then I change my mind.’ She huffed, folding her arms stubbornly again.
‘Iris, what’s my name?’
‘Hans,’
‘Good, we’ll see if you won’t end up cheering or not.’
‘I’m so excited I can almost feel myself catapulting to the sun,’ she said unenthusiastically.
‘Moon,’ I corrected.
‘No, I meant what I said, sun. Anywhere close to you is a sun.’
‘Oh? You don’t know me, Unicorn.’
‘Right back at you, Cutie Pie.’
Not that name!
To be continued