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Episode 5.
©Miriam Edem
I la-id there on the floor weeping when I heard my mother voice,
“And where is Sharon! Sharon! She shouted hitting on the door and I wanted calling her but i found out I’ve lost my voice and i ended up coughing ha-rd .
“Sharon! Why is no one here? I heard her said.
“Mommy! I used my very last breathe to call out and she heard me.
“Sharon! She shouted and hit the door open and ran in despite it was dark and she met me where I la-id.
“What happened? Talk to me what happened? She asked lifting my head on her l@ps and that was where she saw I was n-ked.
“What did they do to you? She weakly asked but my cries replied her and she buried her face on my che-st crying.
“4 of them mommy, 4 of them, I whispered to her and she shook her head painfully.
“When will you listen to me Sharon when? And where are they? Where are those bastards! She shouted getting up.
“They left, they all left, I replied and she leaned her head on the wall for a while trying ha-rd not to see me in such state but she couldnt help it. She tried helping me to get up,
“Try to stand plea-se, there is no one that can help you now, its alre-ady late, my mom said when I staggered with her but I couldn’t make a step. My mother could not carry me either, all she did was manage to take me to the sitting room, made me sit on the sofa there and ran out to look for help.
She c@m£ back with a bike, which the man helped in carrying me on it and she sat at my back as he drove me back to the compound. I was feeling so weak and My eyes were closing until the bike finally st©pped,
“Sharon what took you so long! I heard sister Mercy voice because my eyes were closed, but I felt my mother jumped down from the bike that I almost fell myself because she was my support, if not for the bike man who quic-kly held me I would have fell from the bike. I couldn’t see what was going on because my eyes were dim, but a very serious fight went on and I felt my sisters taking me inside but my mother gr@bb£d me from them and dragged me to sister Mercy,
“Are you happy now? Have you delivered her now? How dare you leave my daughter to ra-pists who messed her up and ran away how dare you! My mother cried out that everyone screamed in the compound.
“Eh! What did you say? I thought you br@gged they were genuine God s£nt prophet? My sister who looks like a bouncer asked facing Mercy who was speechless. She couldn’t utter a word,
“Hey I said it! Do you know those people were busy hitting my brea-sts, and if I want to talk they will put oil in their mouth and spit it on my face and it will enter my eyes. I will now use my hands to ru-b my eyes while they will t©uçh my brea-st, Chinenye spoke out and I heard a loud sl@p my mother pas-sed to Sister Mercy that she fell from the heat of it.
“I opened my eyes so much and trained her alone so she won’t be like us. She grew up keeping herself and I saw myself in her, how could you let history repeat itself on her again and when I kicked against it you made it look as if I was keeping my daughter away from good. You got R@p£d yourself didn’t you? How did it feel? It was only 1 man on you despite you proved to be so strong and stubborn yet he overpowered you, besides you were very matured when this happened yet you felt the pains and went into depression. How could you do this to my only daughter after knowing all I went throu-gh, you let her into the arms of 4 men, Mercy 4 men, how could you! My mother cried and all that happened repla-yed on my head instantly and I pas-sed out.
I slowly opened my eyes after hearing voices around me, and I saw my father sitting beside me,
“This is all your fault, you should have let me take her but you proved to know too much, now look at your daughter, I heard my father said.
“You’re very stupid! In fact who told you about this? What are you doing here sef? When she was with you did you train your wife to be good to her step daughter huh? My mother asked.
“At least we gave her a comfortable life and would have protected her from this mess. Don’t I have children older than her? Has this happened to them? Just listen to the mess I heard that so called prophets c@m£ bathing my daughter n-ked and you agreed to it you’re so shameless! What kind of a mother are you! My father shouted that my mother stood up re-ady to tear him ap@rt.
“Mommy, I whispered and that halted her and she looked at me.
“Sharon dear how are you feeling? She asked tou-ching me and I tried sitting up which she helped me then I looked at my father.
“Why are you blaming my mother sounding as a saint and a good father when you’re a ra-pist yourself, I dropped.
“Sharon! My father shouted.
“If you were that good you wouldn’t have f0rç£d yourself on a 15 year old girl who wanted struggling to put food on her table, so you have no right to question how my mother should train me when you couldn’t train yourself to begin with. And its not her fault I got R@p£d, she warned me but I didn’t listen because I wanted to be free. I didn’t want to be like them, I wanted to be a different person and do something no one has recorded in this family. How did that become a crime? How did I know it will turn out this way? No matter how I tried I still fell into the same story and even in a more pathetic way so blame it on me and not my mother, I said as tears rolled down my cheeks and my father bowed his head.
“Ssshhhh its okay dear don’t stress your weak b©dy, you nee-d rest, my mother said tou-ching me and I cleaned my tears.
“And again you’re right daddy, you have the capacity to protect me and your 2 eldest daughters are all married, but could you do same for me? How did you treat me when I was with you? Was I even welcomed in your house that I chose to run back to my mother just because I was a bastard child right? I asked.
“Sharon plea-se its okay, my mom pleaded.
“No mommy is not okay! What exactly is wrong with us? Why do we keep on being R@p£d? Why can’t a daughter make a difference no matter how ha-rd we try? You know the truth mommy that I am pregnant right? And to make it worst I don’t even know the child I am carrying or where I can find him. How long will this continue? I cried to her that she weakly t©uçhed my face and hvgged me as she cried on me.
“Sharon no matter what happens you have my support okay, and this will not happen again, I heard my father said.
“I won’t allow that because I won’t keep this baby, I won’t allow that! I shouted.
“Baby don’t say that, if I have done same thing I wouldn’t have had you my child, my mother said.
“And I wish you never did, I don’t like this and I will do everything in my power to get rid of this bastard I am carrying because I don’t want to be stuck! I shouted.
“Sharon st©p it, it has happened and there’s nothing you can do about it. That’s an abomination and you should not be involved in it, my father said.
“What do you know about an abomination when you committed one yourself and told my mother to do it, I angrily said.
“Don’t speak to your father that way! My mother shouted on me.
‘Then tell him to get out of here, because the more I look at him I see the bastards who did this to me because he is not different from them, I said and my mother slowly looked at my father who got up.
“I guess I’ll see you when you’re calm, he said and left the room and I closed my eyes.
“I’m sorry Sharon, I’m sorry, I heard my mother said.
“No mommy forgive me, I never wanted this to happen I should have listened to you, I said holding my mother hands and she gave a smile cleaning my tears.
“You are so much like me Sharon and that made me so scared and extra cautious on you. I had the same feeling with you and I didn’t want to be like my mother, because your grandmother…… My mother began slee-ping around with people husbands and it was so shameful. I had to go out to struggle so I can save up and leave the city, and that was how I knew about your father farm despite it was not in the village. Every morning I wake up very early to trek down there and work as a laborer, and when my money was almost there so I can join my friends who wanted leaving for the city, I got R@p£d. I saw you grow up with this same burden and I was planning to s£nd you over to my friends who succeeded in traveling that they should take care of you for me because I didn’t want you to end up like me, now this has happened, I’m so sorry I didn’t do that earlier you could have escaped this, my mother said and I was so shocked…………
?♀️MARRIED?
Episode 6.
©Miriam Edem.
“Is that so? Why didn’t you tell me this despite you saw me worried? Yet you told me there was nothing wrong with us when you had same burden, I said to my mother.
“I know, but I didn’t want you to be desperate because I was alre-ady planning on something for you, I’m sorry, my mom apologized again.
“Mommy st©p apologizing plea-se, you did nothing wrong neither was it your fault, I said and she sniffed.
“Were you in your safe period? She asked.
“What is that? How am I suppose to know when I was not calculating anything? I asked back and she stood up ru-bbing her forehead.
“Mercy left very early in the morning in search for the men but she’s just wasting her time, nothing will happen. What surprises me is that our r@p£ doesn’t concern people, even if we cry out and report nothing will be done about it, my mom said.
‘What is going to happen now? Mommy I’m scared, I don’t want to get pregnant and I won’t keep it either, plea-se do something, i fearfully said and she squ-atted back facing me.
“Have you noticed, we are very fertile. None of our sisters has ever been childless and when once we take in, it is fixed, my mother said and I looked at her and scoffed. I wanted laughing because it sounds funny and stupid to me, at least in my school I have been seeing young girls flushing out pregnancies whenever they mess up but why will my own be different?
“Wait wait wait, is there a kind of super glue in our wo-mb or something? I asked and a knock c@m£ on the door and my sister that looks like a bouncer walked in…… Chinenye mother.
“She’s awake? She asked tou-ching me as if i was slee-ping to her then I greeted her.
“Sorry about what happened okay. They are very lucky, very lucky because if we had got our hands on them eh, she said and I bowed my head.
“I wish I can find them, they won’t live to tell what I will do, they are monsters….. I mean how could they sleep with someone as if she’s a piece of rag? My mother asked and my sister shook her head and I looked at her.
“Is it true? I asked her.
“What’s true? She asked back and my mother told her what she told me and she heaved.
“For your sake Sharon I pray it shouldn’t be so, she replied.
“What should not be so? I can’t keep such a confused child what are you saying! I shouted.
“Ssshhhhh I won’t let you keep it either, though we gave you something to drink that night when you opened your eyes before pas-sing out again, but if it still stands, you won’t keep it, my sister seriously said and my mother looked at her.
“What are you saying? Do you know how many of our sisters that has died trying to take out the baby? Are you re-ady to risk my daughter that way? My mother asked.
“Chi calm down, she’s my daughter as well and I won’t accept her to be ridiculed the way we are same way I won’t allow Chinenye go throu-gh the same thing. What are we going to tell that child when he or she grows up? Such a confused child with no p@rticular paternity even though the bastards ran away, plea-se she has to let it go and you have to support her, My sister said.
“No mother wants this, but then I nee-d my baby alive plea-se, if this is going to tamper with her life then plea-se let her keep the child, my mother said.
“Was she safe? My sister asked.
“She doesn’t even know and you know how very fertile we are, my mother replied.
“I pray what we gave her works and I hope those idiots didn’t re-lease in her. They suppose get small conscience na for a small girl, my sister said.
“I wish our ra-pists had same conscience to spill out but have they? My mother asked and i saw her face pale. I knew what happened to me equally affected her, and I wish I could turn back the hands of time, but even if I could, what about the future????
That evening I managed to go out just to sit outside despite I was still feeling pains, but it was too boring inside. My sisters gathered around me but I saw great fear in Chinenye eyes, she feared she may be next and the rest of my sisters. 80% of births in that compound are mostly females, and its on very rare cases any of my sisters gives birth to males. Most of the male children will be taken away by their father if the paternity is known, but for a confused state like mine we will have to train that child. Here was I thinking I was the only one thinking about my family problems and why we are in such a dilemma, I didn’t know my sisters were equally worried and everyday they keep thinking of “who will be the next”.
It was such a pathetic moment for all of us and I couldn’t st©p crying when I saw the weakness of my family despite we pretended to be tough and carefree. Chinenye who am older than with just months held me ti-ght, she was most scared and I didn’t know she was looking up to me all this while and when she saw I fell victim, she automatically counted herself to be next.
“Chinenye st©p thinking ru-bbish, what makes you think you’ll be R@p£d same way? I asked her.
“But sister you were the toughest and I had so much faith in you that it won’t happen with you. I said to myself if you don’t get R@p£d then I won’t get R@p£d either no matter what, but its a lie I’ll be next, Chinenye said and I cleaned the h0t tears that flowed. She just reminded me something, something I once beat my che-st about that no man will l@yme down as a weakling, but I was not only la-id down by just a man but men and I could not do anything. Nothing hurts than that, and if determination could avoid such a thing from happening to me, then my determination was more than enough but what went wrong? With that thought I cried out painfully that my mother ran outside asking my sisters what happened but they couldn’t un-derstand why I broke down that way, then she took me inside…………..
After a month of that incident, the holidays was alre-ady over and I sluggishly returned back to school hoping it will ease me of the depression I saw myself slowly in. Mary c@m£ round apologizing for the embarras-sment she gave to me and my family but she was not my problem any more, maybe she was right after all but then the truth is always bitter.
“Sharon common na I’m sorry, I never knew my mother will take it that way. You beat me up and my mother was sl@pped back I think its a draw, let’s forget about it, Mary insisted and I looked at her. Truth be told I had forgotten I had a fight with her, but then I can’t be friends with Mary when I know she has a mouth that cannot be covered, maybe because she has a big mouth or something. I can’t afford to be friends with her before she will broadcast me to the whole school, I can’t risk that after my family kept what happened between us…… I applaud them for that.
“Look I don’t have any problem with you, I just want to be alone, I told her.
“Ahhhh did it reach that extent? Okay I promise I will change, I will never do that and it will never happen again. If you want I’ll even apologize to your family, Mary said and I began to hear the students laughing at the window side. Mary who loves aproko jumped to see what was going on but it was a girl throwing up,
“Eh Amaka don carry belle, Mary c@m£ back laughing cl@pping her hand….. Radio without battery and just what I was afraid of.
“How did you know? I asked her since I didn’t bother to leave where I sat.
“Shuooo how won’t I know? As if I don’t know what pregnancy vomit looks like, something I do see from my sisters before they got married sef, she replied and I bec@m£ very interested.
“Ahh so your sisters were even pregnant before getting married? I asked her.
“Sshhh don’t let anyb©dy hear this o, plea-se abeg, Mary said and I smiled.
“So if they have been pregnant why have they not given birth yet? I asked.
“They took it out na, there’s a drug they will take and one hand it goes off, Mary replied and I looked at her. I began contemplating if I should tell her what happened to me, because a closed mouth is a closed destiny and she may know how to help me out since her sisters are ab-ortion experts yet they mocked my family as if they were saints.
Despite Chinenye mother told me she gave me something to drink, I have on my own drank different concoctions giving the pregnancy that may be hiding by the side no breathing space, in fact it should just give up and disappear even though it was not confirmed I am pregnant yet.
“But this one you’re very interested I hope you’ve not? Mary asked wi-nking at me and I un-derstood what she meant by that.
“You know am beginning to believe you’ve equally gone throu-gh that path, I replied her.
“No if its that one I haven’t, and certainly not in my secondary school plea-se, Mary replied and I heaved as I suddenly had headache……….
TBC