3/4
JUST AFTER I SAID I DO (Episode 3)
Hhhmm Gradually, I began to fall de-eply in love with ra-ph despite the fact that I have not even said yes to him. I began to harbour and nurse feelings about him in my heart and I could see nothing again than me saying “yes I do” to my Prince Charming at the alter. And so when I even decided to pray about him and ask God for direction, ra-ph was all I saw. The convictions began to come from no where, dreams and confirmations began to show face and things began to fall in place… All of a sudden, Joshua showed up again, this time around, he was so serious than ever. Telling me he really prayed about us and we are actually meant for each other. He gave me series of convictions and the only thing I held on to so ti-ghtly was the fact that he couldn’t manage his emotions like every other Christian brother and so I am no longer convinced about him. And beside, I had to open up to him that I have seen my very own will of God alre-ady…
He was damn shocked by my response and I could remember vividly that he asked me this question… ” omolola, I hope you’re not mistaking a permissive will for the will of God? Because I know the God I serve is not an author of confusion, he can’t keep on revea-ling omolola as my better half and at the same time be revea-ling a different better half to omolola ooo”…. de-ep down inside me, I concluded that all Joshua has said were just mere fabricated lies and I am just too old and s-en-sitive to be deceived by his lies…. Trust me dear, the devil knows how to manipulate his way into your life, especially when he knows that you are no longer praying about an issue again… ra-ph began to show the exact attribute of the man I have always wished for and finally I said yes to him in my p@rt five.
My relationsh!pwith him was the best ever, and every sister in the fellowsh!pwouldn’t even st©p blessing God for my life for having the rare grace of having a man like ra-ph. Our relationsh!plife was balanced even though series of signs and warnings were still showing up. Talking about affections, my dear ra-ph knows how to channel his affections in the right way and I was just so engrossed in love to the extent that I couldn’t see the handwriting on the wall despite the fact that it was so clear enough. …. “Finally, I got married to ra-ph immediately after my youth service and we settled down here in Lagos to start our new life. And then the true colours of what getting married to wrong person actually means began to manifest about seven months after I said I do on the altar”… At this moment I couldn’t hold back the tears that has alre-ady been forming while I was talking, they managed to find there way throu-gh my eyelids and straight down my cheeks, I could feel the warmth of each drop of tears and the pictures of how I gently walk down the isle with my dad on my wedding day began to flash back one after the other.
My very expensive aso ebi and well arranged bridal train, our series of pre wedding ph0to shoots, the smiles, the charisma during the ph0to shoot hhhhmmm… And Ofcos, my very elaborate wedding reception in one of the best event center in Nigeria… I gently began to recall everything, talking about ra-ph’s pas-sionate k!ssat the sound of “you may k!ssyour bride”… The way he gently carried me in his arms during the reception, our dancing steps and charisma… Hhhmm and I was just so engrossed with sharing my story that I never even noticed that Amaka was alre-ady in tears and she’s not even putting down all I was saying again.
I gently stood up from my sit and I walked straight to where she was sitting, I gently sat down on one of the arms of the couch she was sitting on and I pu-ll-ed her so closely to me and p@rted her so gentle and softly and we both wept for minutes. She then adjusted herself from my arms so gently and reached out for her bag, I watched her so calmly Now with tears forming in my own eyes too as she opened her bag to re-move her handkerchief to wipe her tears and she said softly … ” I wasn’t crying for you, I wasn’t sorry for you, I’m actually feeling for myself, because I am about to make a similar mistake”….. And just as I was about to open my mouth to talk, we heard a knock at the door, I jumped quic-kly to my feet and looked straight at the direction of the wall clock… ” oh my God, that should be my husband at the door, it’s past six alre-ady”… I rushed as fast as I could to the door and I opened it so carefully, and there stand my husband with his briefcase in his hands and his strong face as usual. I tried to hide my face to avoid my eyes from coming in contact with his eyeba-lls and I managed to mutter some words softly in a low tone… “you’re welcome honey”…. Ofcos he responded as usual, nodding his head and humming some words while he walked pas-s me and made his way into the living room, and I also closed the door and walked calmly behind him.
He was left in surprise as he saw Amaka sitting down so calmly with her heads bowed in the sitting room… “Good evening sir”… Amaka greeted, and now, my dear ra-ph tried to put on the smile I have seen in ages, he responded so softly to Amaka… “Waoh, Amaka omo Nna (as he fondly call her) is this you, Nawa oooo, you just forget about us abi”…
He dropped his briefcase carefully on the center table and sat down right in front of Amaka while I stood beside his chair with my arms folded and I gently watched the angelic drama my dear husband was putting on for Amaka… And my sweet Amaka on the other hand, tried to fake a plea-sant smile too as she softly responded…
” No I didn’t forget you guys at all, I’ve been so busy lately with work and the sisters in church, and I decided to visit you people today being a Saturday and you’ve not been around since morning” He tried to pu-ll down his tie a little bit as he responded with this smile as usual… “oh yeah, I had to attend to few things at the office today, I hope you had a nice time with my sweetheart, and I hope you didn’t disturb her with series of gist ooo”……
Hhhmm Try to imagine that scenario very well, you should know that by now, Amaka is alre-ady confused at what she’s seeing, and I on the other hand, I’m just like … ” father Lord , ra-ph will you just st©p pretending, when last have you called me sweetheart in this house” LOL Amaka looked directly towards my direction and I returned a faint smile while she faced ra-ph and nodded in satisfaction…
” oh sure, what do you expect sir, omolola is my best and only friend here in Lagos, and so a Saturday with her like this must be fun and full of gist” Hhhmm I’m so sure that ra-ph has no idea about the fact that Amaka is alre-ady getting the gist of what he’s ma-king me go throu-gh in this marriage, that’s why he’s still forming this nice and warm attitude to fool Amaka that our marriage is the best ever.
Ofcos he knows I am a reserved lady, I was well brou-ght up and I wouldn’t even stoop so low discussing my marriage with anyb©dy, not even my own mother. And now, just take a look at me, I am discussing my marriage with Amaka… Don’t you think what I am doing is bad?… If you were in my shoes will you do the same
episode 4)
No, what I am doing is not bad. I am not discussing my marriage with Amaka for her to give me counsel of solution, I know it so very well myself that prayer and holding fast to God’s word is the only solution to the problem in my marriage. I am discussing my marriage with her because I don’t want her and every lady re-ading this to make the same mistake I made…. I gently used my hands to trace out the position of the socket beside the be-d frame so I could switch on the light to check the time. ..
Waoh! It’s some minutes to 3:00am in the midnight alre-ady, and I have been on this be-d all night thinking about my marriage with this man lying and snoring like there’s no tomorrow beside me. Hhhmm, he wasn’t even aware that I switched on the light, I can’t just st©p wondering what type of man he is, he can sleep for the whole world. I felt so tem-pted to wake him up from sleep as I stared at him, just to ask him the same question I’ve been asking him for years now, I really nee-d to know what exactly I have done wrong that warrant this treatments from him just exactly seven months after I said I do to him… And I was about tapping him at the upper p@rt of his arm, I quic-kly cautioned myself, hhhmm, omolola, you wouldn’t even dare it, Shey you know what waking him up from sleep could cause abi… And so I gently reached out for my Bible and knelt down to mutter some words of prayer as that is the only consolation I have left…. I had ba-rely prayed for 20minutes in tears when ra-ph’s thick angry voice caught my attention… …” oh my God, what the hell is all this ru-bbish tonight, if you want to pray and she’d tears at the same time, there are better places you can do that other than this room. Must you always pretend to be a praying wife in order to get my attention?…
I left you at home throu-gh out the damn whole day doing nothing, you couldn’t say your prayers then abi, must it be in the dead of the night while I’m having a sound sleep!!! …. I quic-kly managed to adjust my position to kneel uprightly placing my two hands on the be-d and I opened my mouth to mutter few words so gently and softly as I can… …” I’m so sorry honey, I didn’t mean to disturb your sleep at all”…. And then he cut in so sharply before I could even finish…
“plea-se save me those cra-ps of yours”… He drew the blanket off the be-d angrily and walked out of the room as I watched him helplessly until he was out of sight and I couldn’t help my tears anymore, I rested on the be-d and all I could say in tears was.. “God plea-se have mercy on me”. Hhhmm. I have never believed the saying “A wrong marriage is the second place after hell fire” until I found myself in one…
My marriage will clock two years in three months time and it’s alre-ady looking like I’ve been married to my husband hundreds of years ago, The affection is no longer there… Respect and intim-acy has found it way out of my marriage… Talking about love, r0m@nç£and nice words between couples?.. No no no, it’s a thing of the past in my marriage. I can’t even remember the last time I sat down with my husband to talk, laugh, pl@yrou-gh and the likes…. Our weekends together is nothing to write home about…. And our S-x life? Hhhmm, we only do that when his hor-mones are craving for it, and I can tell you there’s no single plea-sure in it. … Yes And that’s how terrible my marriage with ra-ph was, there’s actually nothing I know how to do very well in the sight of my husband…
I spent so many years of my life studying and struggling to be a pharmacist, and I have never worked as one ever since I graduated, not because I do not have a very good certificate, nor because I do not have series of firms which I could work with, but because I got married to the man who’s plan and purpose is not even inline with God’s plan and purpose for my life…. I am 27 years old, but if you see me, you’ll mistake me for a 24year old lady… That’s just to tell you that my look and shape are in perfect order, I have never for once have this notion that I am a married woman and so I should dress shabbily, I am always trying my best to look smart and attrac-tive, so ra-ph can not say his drastic change towards me is because of my appearance. …. Oh, ok You might be thinking I am not a good cook or something,… Well, I nee-d no other compliment from anyb©dy about the taste and appearance of my food, ra-ph’s compliments concerning my food in the first six months of our marriage was a mind b!owing one.
And that is just enough for me to know that I am a good cook, cos if I am not one, he would have mentioned it long before now. Or Are you thinking I am bad at house chores? No no no, I automatically bec@m£ a full house wife the very moment I changed from being a miss to a Mrs.
I do My husband’s laundry with my very own hands, not because we do not have a washing machine, but because my darling husband does not like his clothes being washed with a machine… Hhhmm… Oh, you see my very clean compound and sparkling furniture neatly arranged at the right place in every p@rt of the house, all thanks to me, myself and I, because I do the cleaning every blessed day. So laziness is totally out of it. I am not the lazy type and so ra-ph can not even say he’s treating me like this because I turned out to be a lazy wife… And I just keep asking myself over and over again… WHAT EXACTLY HAVE I DONE WRONGLY?
Tbc…..