JESSICA??
(My story of faith and pain)
Episode 12
©Miriam Edem
I and Tunde became so close that began to think that we were dating. As Christians, monitoring spirits in human form were just pinning their eyes on us just to see what they can hold hands on but our conscience was clean. Sandra countless times has asked if I’ve fallen in love with Tunde but I replied that I was too young for that. Besides why should i think about love in my condition? When I pee for him just one day he will find his way and I was not ready for such embarr@$$ment.
Soon my mother marked a year since she died. I decided not to go to anywhere that day, I just decided to give it to my mother and cherish the moments we always have. The ones that made me cry I cried, the pa-rt that made me laugh I laughed, not until Sandra walked in after school.
“You’re still sad? She asked and I stood up from the floor I la-id cleaning my face.
“How was lecture? I asked ignoring her question.
“Everyone noticed you were missing in school, and guess what? They all asked me about you as if I used to carry you on my back, she replied and I smiled and decided to turn on my phone which I turned off to avoid distraction.
“Sandra you won’t un-derstand, I’ve been too busy after my mother died I just nee-d this quiet time. This time last year it was if my world has crashed when she died, I still see her dying face, i still feel the way she held my hand struggling with pains and I couldn’t do anything, you won’t un-derstand, I said giving a weak smile as I cleaned the tear that dropped.
“I’m sorry, Sandra said and I sniffed nodding.
“Irs fine, so what did you bring? I asked putting myself back.
“Books of course what else? And I saw our test result, you actually had an A as always, she replied bringing out the ha-rd cover giving it to me so I can see what was taught.
“But how do you do it? With all the stress you’re still topping in cl@$$, Sandra said when i was going throu-ghthe notes.
“I don’t know, I just read I guess, i replied still going throu-ghthe notes………..
Before I knew it, our examination was just at the corner and just like that the semester was over after two weeks. I got scared of going back to my father house, in fact I didn’t want to travel at all. I was at home that afternoon done with washing when Tunde called telling me he’s just at the nearby junction waiting for me.
“I’m tired o, I just finished washing, I told him.
“Come out jare, am waiting, he said and dropped the call.
I was feeling so sleepy after struggling the all night to sleep un-der darkness because of power failure and the fact that mosquitoes also held a sing song night in my room but I had to go since he was waiting for me.
When I got to the junction, i saw Tunde sitting in a new tricycle smiling at me.
“Is this yours? I asked entering the tricycle.
“Its mine o, a politician in my place is running for the post as a se-nate and he decided to bless hustling guys with tricycles and luckily for me my name got in the list. I was so shocked when I was called and handed the keys two days ago and today am out, he replied and I screamed and hu-gged him.
“This is God at work, you can see he’s answering our prayers, I happily said.
“Yes and its still left with my father request, I want his heart to be tou-ched for my sake please, he said..
“Sure he will, just believe that. Its one after the other Tunde just calm down and celebr@te this win, With this you can clear up the debts you incurred to repair the taxi, I said.
“Exactly, I just finished with the registration and everything, so by tomorrow I’ll start running round with it, but for now let’s go out, you’ll be my very first p@$$enger I’ve carried, he said.
“Go out? No na Tunde you can’t do this, you nee-d to save, I told him.
“Miss its just a bottle of malt nothing serious and don’t worry when I finally hammer I won’t forget you I promise, he said and I rolled my eyes.
“You don’t have to promise me anything please, but since you insist let’s go, I said.
“Before we take the malt let me run you in town with my jeep, sit at the back as a big woman, Tunde said and i laughed leaving the front to sit at the back.
“So Ma are we set to go? Tunde pla-yfully asked.
“Ohhh Tunde let’s go na, I replied..
“Okay your wish is my command, he said and I smiled shaking my head.
With the cool breeze touching me as Tunde drove, I didn’t know when I dozed and sle-pt off.
I fearfully woke up when I heard an aggressive horn and I saw Tunde was already parked un-der a shade then he saw I was awake,
“You’re awake? I didn’t want to wake you, he said turning back but I bowed my head.
“Jessica what’s wrong? He asked but my li-ps were shaking.
“You should have woke me up, I replied.
“I didn’t want to disturb you Jess, I know you are tired and I thought keeping you in a shade with nice trees will make you more relaxed more than air conditioners from Hummer Jeep, what did I do bad? He asked but I cried more and he came down to see what was wrong with me but felt water on the nylon that was still on the tricycle.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, i said before he could ask what poured.
“What happened? Did something pour here? Stand up you’re we-t looks like I left something here that must have poured, he innocently said and I closed my eyes.
“I’m sorry, its urine not water, I painfully said and he looked at me.
“Urine? You mean pee? But how? He asked.
“Don’t be angry please I’ll clean it up, i replied with my heart beating fast.
“No no Jessica don’t tell me it came from you, I mean did you just pee? He asked and I nodded with my face bathed with tears.
“I’m sorry, this is what I go throu-ghI didn’t mean it, I replied with my nose leaking already but all Tunde did was hu-g me as I cried ha-rd on him.
“Its okay, I’ll drive you home so you can change up, he said.
“I have to clean this up, its new and I just messed it up for you, I said.
“Its okay, I can easily take off the nylon or clean it off just don’t cry again. I’ll drive you home, Tunde said and I could not believe it. When we arrived just close to the compound because he had to drive into my street because of my we-t clothes, he took off his shirt for me to tie on my wa-ist,
“no please I can manage am already home, I said to him.
“You can’t enter this way, you know urine smells, he said insisting and I slowly took it from him and tied it on my wa-ist.
“You can keep the shirt, he added.
“Thank you, I slowly said filled with shame as I left the tricycle and got into the compound.
When I got home I locked the door behind and cried the more, finally it has embarr@$$ed me here despite all my carefulness and I wondered where else it will cast me.
I got so ashamed seeing Tunde and I began to avoid him that he noticed and confronted me one day when I wanted escaping from church after service.
“Jessica what’s going on? You don’t pick my calls anymore and you’re ignoring me, what happened? He asked.
“I’m not ignoring you, I said with my head bowed that he had to raise my face up so I can see him.
“You’re embarrased with what happejed and you think something has changed huh? He asked.
“Please let’s not talk about what happened I beg you, it shouldn’t have happened, am so ashamed of myself as we speak, I replied and a sister who was just standing by the side quickly stood in front of us.
“I said it! So what happened that you don’t want to talk about it? She asked.
“How does it concern you? Tunde asked.
“I heard it o, abi didn’t you hear it? She asked the other lady she was standing which she confirmed that she did and I shook my head.
“Do you even know what we were talking about? What’s your problem sef and what right do you have to eaves drop on us? I asked.
“Oh we were already here when Tunde chased after you and stopped you here o and our ears were very open to hear whatever you two were discussing. But don’t worry the pastor will hear about this since you don’t want to confess, the lady replied.
“What’s the meaning of that? We were having personal discussion and it has nothing to do with you or the pastor so you two should mind your business! Tunde angrily shouted And the pastor wife heard it and suspected something was wrong and drew close to us before other members noticed.
“Ahh mommy you’re here, its good you’re here. Please ask Jessica that embarr@$$ing thing she did with Tunde that she does not want to talk about. I heard them talking and she was begging Tunde saying she’s ashamed to talk about it and whatever happened shouldn’t have happened, the lady said.
“Hey! I didn’t mean it that way, you misun-derstood me, I shouted not liking the way things were going.
“Meet me in the pastor office, the pastor wife said immediately and left and Tunde angrily looked at her which she quickly left before i could stop her to explain things to her at least.
“You have nothing to fear Jessica, we just have to explain what happened to them okay, Tunde said and I looked at him. Does he know what he’s saying at all? So this is how my condition will be progressing into everybo-dy ears just like that? I asked myself as I slowly left to the pastor office.
We sat down and I bowed my head, already his wife hinted him of what happened and the pastor was just looking at us as no one said a word,
“What am I hearing? What exactly happened? The pastor finally asked.
“Pastor I was with………. “Pastor she only misun-derstood Jessica when I stopped her for a brief discussion. Something happened and that made Jessica kind of avoided me……….. “What happened? The lady interrupted Tunde same way he cuts in on her when she wanted replying the pastor.
“That isn’t your problem what is wrong with you! Tunde shouted.
“Its okay. Uhmmm please excuse us, the pastor said referring to the ladies and they left the office leaving us behind.
“Jessica, the pastor called out and I raised my head up and looked at him.
“I noticed for a few days now you’ve been down, what really happened? Please tell me the truth, the pastor said and tears began to stream down my face. I weakly looked at Tunde not having the strength to say anything or how to start and he heaved,
“Pastor I’ll tell you, Tunde said and I shamefully bowed my head back.
“Days ago I showed Jessica the new tricycle I was given and I decided to drive her round town and get her a bottle of malt at least for the celebr@tion. But on the way Jessica sle-pt off and I didn’t want to disturb her sleep, what I did was drive and parked un-der a shade so the cool breeze can to-uchher and she can be relaxed more. But when she woke up, she found out that she urinated while she sle-pt and she was so embarr@$$ed and began to ignore me, Tunde narrated and a tear fell from my eyes.
“Jessica dear, was it a mistake? The pastor wife calmly asked and i shook my head and sniffed.
“The truth is I urinate every night, I disgrace myself this way every night and day my eyes closes to sleep and I can’t control it, I replied trying ha-rd to control myself but it was not working, I just broke down…….
TBC