🌷 From k!ssTo Love 😘
(I love u)
Written by Authoress Yesha 📒📒📒
EPISODE 34
THIS IS WHERE IT END
……………….
When Logan and I had d@t£d, I thought we were a great couple. He was sweet, kind and pla-yed the role of a b©yfri£ndperfectly. He made me feel special and I loved hanging out with him, but that was just it.
There was no spark or any de-ep emotional connection with him. We didn’t have any heart st©pping moments or strong chemistry. I was his girlfriend and he was b©yfri£ndbut only in name, so it was like we were pla-ying that role and just existing.
I met Logan in the computer lab at school. I was walking towards a computer station and he was going for the same one. None of us had seen the other. When we reached the station, we both put our hand on the chair at the same time. He then turn to face me and smiled, before saying that I could have that one. He then took the one beside me.
For the entire time we spent in the computer room, we talked and that’s how we bec@m£ friends. After that, we started hanging out together. A month later, he told me he likes me and he enjoys when we hang out. He then asked if we could be a couple. He was sweet and really cool, so I agreed.
We fell ap@rt because there wasn’t any love or even any strong feelings between us. So I’m guessing that is why he took on the first opportunity when someone else offers S-x to him. He didn’t really care about me or my feelings.
I was deluded and thought I loved him because he was so great and treated me well, but really I didn’t love him at all.
With Tyler it was different.
This feeling that I have as it regards to him was unidentifiable. I’ve never felt this way before. Not with Logan.
What I feel for Tyler is new and unexplainable.
Whenever I was around him or even thinking about him, my heart would skip a beat and my stomach would have this weird feeling as if a thousand bu-tterflies were inside trying to get out. He makes me laugh and smile without effort and I enjoy being around him.
However, all that didn’t make any difference because Tyler doesn’t see me that way. He also isn’t the type to give himself fully to one girl. He made that perfectly clear in his words and actions.
I was really confused. That is why I went over to Tori’s house the following day. I really wanted to talk to her about what happened yesterday. I also wanted someone to talk to about how I was feeling.
I couldn’t st©p thinking about what happened yesterday. During the rest of the hike, neither Tyler nor I said anything about the k!ss. Well, we were around Rachel anyway, so we couldn’t really discuss it.
When we left the hiking trail and got home, I just said a quic-k goodbye to both him and his mother and went home. I really wanted to know what the k!ssmeant, but I was afraid to ask. I was afraid of his response.
Maybe it meant nothing and Tyler alre-ady forget about it, so it would have been super awkward if I brou-ght it up. It’s best if I just forget about it.
After telling Tori everything that had happened, I l@yon her be-d and look up at the ceiling. “I don’t know but this is getting really complicated. Complicated for me.” I replied. “I never expected anything like this to happen.”
Tori, who was sitting with her back to the headboard, asked in a serious tone of voice. “You really like him, don’t you?”
“Yes.” I said not bothering to deny it. I then lift my head from the be-d a little to face Tori. “Tori, how did I let this happen?” I gro-an ed.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Emily. You can’t control your feelings.” Tori replied.
“Yeah, but I went and get my feelings involved and now everything is complicated.” I said, lying on the be-d again. “It’s obvious, Tyler wouldn’t be into a girl like me. Plus, he’s in love with Andrea. It’s only a matter of time before they get back together. He was in love with her once, it won’t take long before their love is rekindled.”
Tori was quiet for a while, before she asked. “So what are you going to do?”
I sat up in the be-d and turned to face Tori fully this time. “I think it’s time for our fake d@t!ngto come to an end.” I said as the thought c@m£ to me. “We don’t nee-d to do this anymore, Tori. Logan haven’t said a word to me since our last talk and Tyler’s mother won’t bother him again about his slee-ping around habits.”
“Are you sure you want to do that?” Tori asked.
I thought about it, then shake my head. “Yes I’m sure. The girl he once love is now back. I don’t want to complicate things by being in the way.”
It made s-en-se. Tyler and I don’t nee-d each other anymore. There’s nothing to keep us together. I met Tori’s gaze as I finally made up my mind.
“Yes, ending this is the best thing to do for both of us.” I said.
++++++
When I left Tori’s house, I went directly to Tyler’s. I wanted to get this out of the way as soon as possible.
As soon as I got to his house, I walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. I stood fiddling with my f!ngersas I waited for him to answer.
A few seconds later, the door was opened revea-ling Tyler. He smiled when he sees me. “Hi Emily.”
“Hi Tyler. I nee-d to talk to you.”
“Sure.” He said opening the door for me to enter. When I stood in the living room, he closed the door and faced me. “What’s up?” He asked.
“Um…I think it’s time for us to end our fake d@t!ng.” I said getting straight to the point.
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he was quiet for a while. “Why?” He asked after a few seconds.
“Well, Logan isn’t bothering me anymore and your mother is okay with you again. So, there’s no nee-d for us to continue anymore.” I explained, trying my best not to let my feelings bely my words.
Tyler looked at me for what seems like a long time without saying anything. “Okay.” He finally said then cleared his throat. “You’re right. That makes s-en-se.”
I finally met his eyes. “So, it’s agreed then?”
“Uh, yeah sure.” He replied. I stood there for a while not sure what to do before he asked. “What would we say to people?”
“We grew ap@rt. It was a mutual agreement and we’re still friends. No one would question it.” I replied.
“Friends.” He repeated as if the word was foreign. “Okay.” He said finally.
I looked at him for a few seconds. I really wanted to just walk over to him and hvg him right now. Just to be in his arms one last time and feel him close to me. We weren’t going to d@t£ anymore, so we won’t be in each others arms anymore. We won’t even be close to each other.
Of course, I didn’t do that though. He would looked at me weirdly and wondering why I did it. I wouldn’t have any viable explanation. I didn’t want to scare him and show my feelings in anyway.
“Thank you for helping me. I’m glad you did.” I said before things get awkward.
“You know, the plea-sure was all mine.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. It wasn’t his usual confident and happy smile that I was accustomed to.
I looked at the floor for a bit before facing him again. “So um, thanks again.”
“Yeah, anytime.”
I left his house and walked over to mine feeling utterly incomplete.
I couldn’t explain the feeling, but it was as if I left my heart behind.
EPISODE 35
MISSING YOU
……………….
“Hey, where’s Tyler?”
I turned from my locker towards the voice. I saw that it was Seth who was behind me.
I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. I don’t think he’s here as yet.”
Seth watched me with a confused expression. “When I saw you, I thought he was here. You guys always come together.”
“I left home early this morning.” I stated before bringing my voice to a whisper. “And besides, we don’t nee-d to come to school together anymore now that our fake d@t!nghas come to an end.”
“Are you serious?” He asked in shock.
“Yeah. What did you expect?” I asked confused by his shocked expression. “And what’s the big deal anyways? You should have known that it was going to come to an end sooner or later.”
“Yeah but…” He said trailing off.
I finished getting my books from my locker and closed it. Turning to face him once again, I lifted my eyebrows at him in question. “But what?”
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
“Right.” I said brushing aside Seth’s weird behaviour. “Well, I’ve got to get to clas-s.”
He nodded his head before giving me a salute. “I’ll see you then.”
Shaking my head at him, I turned and walked to my clas-s.
++++++
I was sitting in English clas-s, when Tyler enter the clas-sroom. It was the first I was seeing him since I left his house yesterday, so I was a little uncomfortable to meet his eyes.
As he entered, I held my head down and pretended to be scribbling something in my notebook.
What surprise me however, was that he c@m£ and sat beside me. I was shocked even. I didn’t expect him to because he hated to sit at the front. I normally have to f0rç£ him to sit up here with me so that our d@t!ngwould look authentic.
I thought that since he had a choice now because we weren’t d@t!nganymore, he would’ve sit at his usually seat at the back but he didn’t.
I slowly turned my head to the left and looked at him. When I did that, he looked at me with a small smile on hisl-ips. Seeing his smile caused my heart to skip a beat before beating ra-pidly.
“Hey.” He greeted.
“Hi.” I returned.
It seems like he was about to say something else, but decided against it. After a while, I realized that we were still staring at each other, so I turned my head away and focused my attention back in my book.
I didn’t know that this would’ve been so ha-rd . In the beginning of our deal, I had thought that when it ended we would’ve gone back to our regular lives without any complications. I would totally forget about him and he would go back to being a wom-anizer who I will avoid like the plague.
Yet, this was the complete opposite.
Seeing him right now, brou-ght into perspective how much I miss us being together even though it was fake. I miss talking to him and I miss being close to him in an inti-mate way. I couldn’t explain it, but he had become my confidant; someone who I could talk to about anything.
I mentally shook my head from those thought. I couldn’t afford to think like that. I nee-d to get him out of my thoughts. That was the best thing for me. It hurts too much to think about him.
Okay Emily, you were only fake d@t!ng. It doesn’t mean anything. I thought to myself.
The sooner I got that into my head, the better. It won’t be easy, but maybe eventually I will get over this.
The teacher c@m£ shortly after that and clas-s began.
++++++
At the end of the school day, I decided to walk home. I left school as soon as the bell rang, because I knew that Tyler was going to offer to drive me home and I didn’t want that. It’s not that I had anything against him, because I didn’t. I just wanted to be by myself for a bit. It still hurts thinking about him being with someone else and I also wanted to come to grips with my feelings.
I nee-ded to control them so that I could carry on with my normal life. I didn’t want to embarras-s myself by allowing Tyler to find out that I went and did something stupid by falling for him.
After seeing Tyler in English clas-s, I only saw him once again. I was at my locker getting my books for last period when I just decided to look towards the end of the hall. As soon as I did that, I sp©tted Tyler looking at me. He was surrounded by a group of his friends. When I had looked up at him, he dropped his gaze and turn back to his friends.
As I walked, I couldn’t help but think about all the times we had spent together. Reminiscing about all these memories brou-ght a smile to my face. I definitely miss those times.
I miss how he would constantly tease me, the way he hvgged me as if we were a loving couple and how it felt when he k!$$£d me. I did enjoy his k!sses a lot.
But to him, it was just a k!ss.
I sighed. Why did this have to become so complicated?
Since I spent the entire journey lost in thought, I reached home quic-kly. When I opened the front door, I saw Sarah sitting in the living room re-ading a book.
“Hi Sarah.” I said as I closed the front door behind me.
Sarah looked up from the book she was re-ading. “Hi sweetie.” Her eyebrows then furrowed as her eyes focused on me. “You look tired.”
“I’m fine. I’m just a little out of breath because I walked.” I explained.
“Why? Where’s Tyler?” She asked confused.
I didn’t tell her or Dad that Tyler and I are no longer d@t!ng. I wasn’t re-ady to tell them yet. However, she knows that I’m always here with Tyler, so me walking must look a bit weird. I c@m£ up with a quic-k lie. “Tyler had something to do at school.” I said casually. “He wanted me to wait, but I really wanted to walk. It’s cool actually. The air felt good.”
Sarah smiled. “Okay, that’s good then.”
“How are you feeling?” I asked as I remembered that she wasn’t feeling well this morning.
When I went down to the kitchen this morning, she was in the kitchen preparing breakfast for me. However, a few minutes into doing so, she left the kitchen in a hurry to throw up. When she c@m£ back down, I had finished preparing the breakfast and was eating.
“Yes I’m feeling much better, thanks. Don’t worry, it’s normally on some mornings I feel like that. It will soon pas-s though.” She as-sured me.
“That’s good.” I said. Honestly, I couldn’t imagine throwing up all the time even though I know that it was a good sign that the baby was developing properly. “I’m going upstairs to start on my homework.” I added as I walked to the stairs.
“Okay.” Sarah said as she went back to her book.
That night, I was in my room re-ading a book when a movement throu-gh my open window caught my attention. I shift my focus from the book and looked throu-gh the window into Tyler’s room to see him walking across his room shi-tless.
I watched him for a few minutes, before I tried to focus my attention back to my book. I also didn’t want him to catch me staring. After a while, he disappeared from my sight. I’m guessing he went inside his bathroom, so I turned my gaze away from the window completely.
Not in the mood to re-ad anymore, I closed the book and rest it on my nightstand table. I then got up from my be-d, turned off the lights and went to sleep.
TBC