?ENDLESS
TEARS?
EPISODE 8
Kelvin put his open palms un-der the running tap and splashed the cold water all over his face and hair, repeating the motion three more times until he became completely sure that his head wasn’t as hot as it had been ba-rely minutes ago.
His brain seemed to be in overdrive, thinking about too many things at a time, all centered on one person. The hot burning sun had made matters worse, increasing the temperature of his brain, giving him a splitting headache to deal with.
What he had feared had eventually come to limelight. He had known that the disastrous events in Amara’s life wouldn’t heal so quickly and he had seen it clearly. But how could she heal? Finding yourself married and pregnant for someone who turned out to be your brother cannot be easy to get by, can it?
Kelvin exited the bathroom and entered his bedroom, not caring as the water from his we-t face slid down his exp-osed che-st and back. He still couldn’t believe Amara was back in his life again.
After six years, he had gradually started giving up the hope of seeing her again. He lived most of his life in Lagos because he had moved his business to Lagos years back, but then, he couldn’t move away from Abuja completely. He had made sure a part of him remained there, just because he had thought Amara was still there.
He took out his camera and gazed at those pictures of her he had taken years back when she had been standing with that stunning flower. He smiled to himself. Even then, with her problems, she had been extremely striking, though not in the fashionable way, because she hadn’t been putting on good clothes and all.
He shook his head as he stared at another picture of her when she had been pregnant; she had been practically glowing. He had done all he could to put smiles on her face back then and he knew that he would do more now to see Amara happy.
The de-sire to pull her into his arms and ki-ss her had been so overwhelming when he stood close to her in the office; he had almost done exactly that, but then, the look in her eyes had stopped him. Kelvin knew that until Amara completely forgave everyone, including herself for what happened in the past, she would not be free. He ki-ssed the picture in his camera instead and ran his thumb over the screen.
“I would see to it that you are happy again Ara, I promise” he whispered. Even if you are going to hate me at the end, he thought bitterly.
**********
**********
Amara placed her aching head on her desk. Seeing her other clients had been tedious because half her brain was completely stuck with thoughts of Kelvin.
The men had noticed her occasional distractions but some had looked un-derstanding, looking at her with something really close to pity and Amara hated that.
She shouldn’t have behaved like a fish out of water in the presence of clients. But with Kelvin, she couldn’t help it, just couldn’t. He had a way of reaching her, going past her defenses; something no other person had been able to do. He had showed up and she had found herself behaving like a complete idiot again – shivering before a man, making it obvious to him that he had effects on her.
That is completely bad, she thought. She had read that the best way to put oneself at the mercy of a man is to let him know that he had effects on you; he would definitely take advantage of it. She swallowed, remembering the look on Kelvin’s face when he stood to leave.
He had been on the verge of ki-ssing her; she saw it in his eyes, the way they settled on her li-ps, making it obvious to her that her li-ps were very dry. But instead of ki-ssing her, he had turned and left, but why had she felt so disappointed? Surely she wasn’t already thinking of something between them right?
She shook her head vigorously, driving away the insane thought as she heard the door to her office open. She felt Tega enter without looking at her. She could already smell the line of conversation that Tega would choose, and knowing the unbearable girl, she would not stop even when you want her to.
“Are there other people here to see me Tega?” Amara asked, stalling for time.
Tega dropped into the chair, facing Amara with a slow smile. “Definitely not. Even if there were, I am sure none would match the looks of that stunning man you had your eyes fixed on minutes back”
Amara sighed. Her secretary always hits the nail on the head every time. “Sometimes, I wonder if I pay you to scan people’s good looks” Amara said.
“Oh, c’mon Ara, even you agree with me that the man is absolutely breathtaking; that explains why you literarily turned to a statue the minute you saw him”
Amara looked at Tega. She knew she had behaved stupidly, by gawking like an idiot, but should Tega be so mean as to point it out? She averted her gaze, looking at her system instead.
“So, what about him? Any special history? He seemed smitten with you because there was enough heat in his eyes to warm up a stone”
Amara glared at Tega. “What stupid history uhn? Mind your business Tega and get back to your desk, I have no time for your ridiculous observations. You are one hu-ge pain in the ne-ck; I always wonder why I haven’t fired you yet”
“So there is a history” she said, grinning mischievously, ignoring every other thing Amara had said. “My God! I have not seen you so worked up over a man. It is kind of refreshing to know you have red blood in your veins after all”
The door suddenly je-rked open and Tina walked in. Amara swallowed and glared at Tega. The day just keeps getting better! “Go back to your post Tega before someone else barges into my office, I would visit your case later” she said as Tina marched into the office. Tega quickly excused herself and Tina glared at Amara.
“What is this?” Tina asked angrily. “I have been calling for the past two days, why on earth couldn’t you pick up?”
Amara took a de-eper breath. “I have been busy”
“Oh please, don’t give me that ridiculous statement, it sulks” she barked and dropped into a seat. “When are you going to let go and stop running?”
Amara sighed. “I think I have heard that question enough times today” she said, becoming angry.
“Then that is good, it means the whole world knows how bitc-hy you have been behaving.”
“bitc-hy? Listen Tina, I wouldn’t have you come here to insult me okay? I have had enough!” Amara returned stonily.
“Insult you? My friend, you need someone to slap your brain back to reality; what the hell is the matter with you? It has been years Amara, years! When would you forget all that happened and move on? I worked my a-ss off to get you a date, hoping to bring you back to your senses somehow but then, what did you do? You completely ignored me.” She ranted angrily.
“You know I never asked you to Tina. For goodness’ sake, you just complicated my life the more. Gosh, you don’t have any idea what that stupid date cost me, do you?” she yelled, very angry now.
Tina had caused all her recent problems and Amara could not even see why Tina should be angry at her, when she was clearly the victim of this whole mess.
“Really? What did it cost you madam?” Tina drawled cynically.
“Oh yeah, you want to hear? The idiot behind the flimsy ‘blind date’ is none other than a client; Jeez Tina, the first rule in my business is to never get involved with a client. And God knows I would have tolerated it a bit, if the client hadn’t been that pompous, stupid egotistic Maxwell Babs, who can’t spend five seconds without talking about how handsome he is”
Tina blinked. Well that could annoy any human being, Tina thought.
Amara tapped her feet angrily un-der the table. “And he even had the gut to a-ssume I would date him in order to get more contracts for Ara P. how stupid can a man be.” she hissed brushed away the stray hair that tou-ched her face. “And to crown it all up…” she began, her voice dropping a notch. “I bumped into Kelvin” she said quietly.
Tina gasped. “Which Kelvin?” she breathed as her eyes wide-ned.
Amara looked at her. “Do you know any other Kelvin?” Tina was speechless as Amara stood up and walked to the window, gazing at the busy street beyond, with various people going about their various businesses.
She sighed. “I wasn’t prepared for that Tina; that is the last thing I need. I don’t need a complication in my life now” she said softly.
Tina sighed. When she had worked up that date, she had felt that, either way it went, whether good or bad, it would bring her a bit closer to Amara. And she could see that it had worked.
The iciness and coldness that Amara had built towards her was no longer very visible. She was confiding in her again, for the first time. But then, if Tina had known that she would meet Kelvin, she wouldn’t have planned the date at all. Amara hadn’t gotten over her past, and having her past appear one after the other could bring back the hurt over and over again.
“I am sorry, I… I had no idea”
Amara shook her head. It was obvious Tina only wanted to help even though it had turned sour. “It is fine”
Tina swallowed. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked softly.
Amara opened her mouth to do just that but decided against it at the last minute. “No, never mind. I can handle it”
Tina felt disappointed. She had glimpsed that de-sire to talk in Amara’s eyes, but then, she had closed up again. She decided to leave it and give Amara some time. Her che-st burned slightly and she started coughing.
Amara turned to face Tina when she started coughing. Her frowned in concern. “Are you alright?” she asked, going to the office dispenser to quickly get water.
Tina tried to bring the cough un-der control, covering her mouth with her white handkerchief. The cough subsided before Amara got to her and Tina stuffed her hankie in her bag, collecting the gla-ss of water with a grateful smile. She quickly took few sips and was back to normal in a matter of seconds. “Are you sure you are fine?” Amara asked in concern.
Tina nodded with a too-bright smile. “Yes, I am. Just a few allergies. I am ok” she breathed.
Amara looked at her for some seconds then nodded.
?ENDLESS
TEARS?
SEASON 2
EPISODE 8
Two days later, Alex propped his legs on the bed, and rested his back with his laptop firmly seated on his lap-s. He knew exactly where to find Amara, following the address of his company. He was lodged in a hotel in Lagos, waiting for the time he would have the courage to drag himself to Ara P.
he had been so enthusiastic when he had flown down, but now, he was scared of facing Amara. The woman he saw on the laptop was nothing like the woman he used to know, and since they parted on a very sour note, he couldn’t even begin to imagine her reaction should he show up.
I just want her forgiveness, he told himself, reminding himself that he cannot have anything other than a ‘brother to sister’ feeling towards Amara. His phone rang and he picked it up.
“Hey man” he said instantly.
“Don’t ‘hey man’ me” Toba said over the phone, drawing a sigh from Alex. “This is a bad idea man; I can’t believe you actually went to Lagos, despite all I said”
“I am sure you must have heard it from Lisa; that stupid woman would not just stay off my case” he said angrily.
“She is your wife man; she came to ask me two days ago about the ‘business trip’ you said you were going for in Lagos. I was so stunned because I knew nothing but I quickly looked for a lame excuse to cover up for you. Trust Lisa, she is not a fool; I don’t think she believed me. Besides, I am sure the story you told her would be different from what I cooked up”
Alex ru-bbed his palm over his face. He should have told Toba beforehand, now, he knew that a boiling wife would be waiting for him, upon his return, but that is nothing unusual, she is always boiling anyways. “Sorry for putting you on the sp-ot man, I should have told you”
“What do you think you are doing? She is your sister Alex” he barked.
“Stop yelling that, I know it better than you. She is my sister, yes! Did I say otherwise? I just need her forgiveness man, despite what you might be thinking, that is all I want”
“If only you could believe yourself” Toba said. “Can’t you just listen to me?”
“I have been listening to you all my life. Leave me alone, it is not your place to tell me what to do” he said, exasperated.
Toba sighed in resignation. “Remember I warned you; I would not be there to straighten up the trash for you when you mess up again o”
“Yes, don’t worry” Alex answered and hung up. He ran his hands over his head and closed his eyes.
**********
The hot burning sun had already made its grand exit, disappearing behind the clouds when Amara drove into her compound. This had to be the first time she would get home before dark; but then, this particular date always came with its own anomalies.
She should never have stepped out of the house if not for the great importance of the clients at the office but looking at her performance throu-ghout the long day, Amara could reckon that her workers would have been better without her. Amara had been close to tears uncountable times during the day, her usual bossiness and sharp retorts had been totally absent and once again, she had been the Amara that she used to be – the one who was ruled by her emotions. It was a relief to be home again, where she could pa-ss over this day on her own.
Every time March 23 arrived, she was always reminded of how close she had come to being a mother. It had sli-pped away from her fingers the same way every other thing in her life had sli-pped out of her grasp. And even though her child had been an abomination, Amara somehow felt that her child would have given her a good reason to live; a reason to smile over her past. But now, she had nothing to live for other than this unending bitterness and strive to prove everybody wrong.
Amara finally got out of the car with her handbag in hand. She pulled out the hairband holding her hair together, letting the long strands flow past her slim shoulders. She ran her left hand throu-ghthe dark silky hair, allowing the other hand to do the job of closing the door of the car. She walked to her apartment after locking the car but her eyes caught something when she got to the landing. She turned and saw the form sitting at the entrance of the next apartment.
The small girl seated at the entrance of the apartment was her neighbor’s daughter. The girl – probably five to six years old – was the cutest thing Amara had ever seen. Though Amara had been indifferent and uncaring to almost everyone, she hadn’t been able to transfer her hostility towards children also; instead, she discovered that she had developed a soft sp-ot for them. They always reached her heart unhindered and where she knew virtually none of the names of her neighbors’, she knew the names of all the children. Nadia looked like a partial Hausa girl, with her long dark hair parked in two ponytails above her head, reminding Amara of a cute little doll. As the little girl sat sleeping, with her head resting on the school bag on her lap-s, Amara was moved, walking towards the girl as fast as she could.
Amara got to the sleeping girl and crouched, bringing herself level with the girl. She tou-ched the girl’s cheek softly until Nadia opened her small innocent eyes which swam a bit before finally resting on Amara. Nadia seemed to notice where she was because she instantly sat up. Amara smiled softly, feeling her heart pound. “Hey sweetheart, sorry I woke you” she whispered gently.
“Good afternoon aunty Ara” she said in her tiny musical voice.
“Why are you seated here sweetie? Where is mummy?”
A sad confused look flashed throu-ghthe girl’s lovely face. “Mummy is not back from work, she arrives late”
Amara felt the girl’s pain and wondered if she might have to have a word with her neighbor for the first time. It looked like the girl was already used to sitting outside, waiting for her mother. Amara put a smile on her face. “You know what sweetie, why don’t you come with me; I would get you something really delicious to eat while you wait for mummy. Would you like that?”
Amara watched as a brief panic crossed the child’s face and quickly added. “I am sure mummy would not mind Nadia”
She smiled and jumped to her feet. “Thank you aunty Ara” she said, placing her tiny hand in Amara’s. Amara could not explain her feeling of joy at Nadia’s trust; a million bu-tterflies ran around in her stomach as she walked with the excited Nadia to her apartment. As they entered, for the first time, Amara really wished she had painted her living room in a more homely fashion in order to make Nadia feel welcome. The little girl did not seem to notice that anything was wrong though, she bounced up and down, obviously glad to be out of the cold with the promise of a meal. Amara smiled happily. “Alright darling, sit down. What would you like to eat?” she asked as she turned on the television.
Nadia grinned. “Indomie” she said, blus-hing shyly.
Amara laughed. “I should have known. Ok sweetie, your wish is my command” she changed the channel to ‘cartoon network’ and Nadia squealed, not for once behaving like a stranger. She bounced on the chair, folding her tiny legs beneath her as she gave the television her full attention. Amara grinned and walked happily to the kitchen, delighting in the feel of having a child with her. As she listened to the girl cooing and talking to the casts on TV, she knew just how happy a mother would be just from having her child around. It was the greatest feeling.
Amara turned on the gas, whistling happily to herself while keeping an ear glued to the child in the sitting room to be sure she was still having fun. Suddenly, Amara wanted the Indomie to be the sweetest she had ever cooked. She took out some pieces of chicken from the freezer and put it in the microwave to heat up as she watched the water on the cooker steam up. While waiting for the water to boil, she stood at the kitchen entrance, looking at the small girl who had her eyes glued to the TV. How happy would she have been if she had her own child? She thought. She wouldn’t have to seek happiness everyday but her child would fill her with all the happiness she ever de-sire d. But she was not even certain of that; her child might not have brou-ght happiness to her because of what he represented. Amara sighed. Now is not the time to think about this! She moved to the boiling water and put in enough Indomie to serve them both. She included some vegetables to add colour and within minutes, she was carrying steaming plates of Indomie and chicken to the dinning. Immediately the meal arrived, Nadia totally lost interest in the cartoon and she bounced to the dinning.
Amara grinned. “Come with me, you need to wash your hands.” She said and Nadia hastily bounced after her into the kitchen, washed her hands with Amara’s help and walked hurriedly back to the dinning. She sat on the chair hastily and before Amara knew what was happening, the girl put her hands together, closed her eyes and started singing”
“Some have food but cannot eat
Some can eat but have no food
We have food and we can eat
Glory be to thee oh Lord
Bless this food oh Lord for Christ sake amen
Jesus come and eat
Aunty Ara come and eat
Satan go away
In Jesus name…”
“Amen” Amara echoed with her, blinking several times to drive away the tears that threatened to drop.
“Thank you Aunty Ara” she said again and attached her food instantly.
“You are welcome Nadia” she said and with great difficulty, took her eyes away from the girl to her beckoning food. No food had ever tasted so sweet. What used to be the saddest day of every year had been brightened up by Nadia.
**********
**********
Kelvin stepped onto the veranda as the gateman opened the gate to let in his cousin. It had been a while since he saw his one and only cousin and he was looking forward to their time together. Even though they had their differences, Kelvin knew that his closeness with his cousin couldn’t be compared with any other person.
They had a way of looking past their differences in order to help one another. This closeness had been the reason why they embarked on business projects together and trusted each other to keep their own ends of the bargain.
Kelvin stepped away from the veranda as the small black jeep pulled to a halt in the compound. He grinned to himself as he stared at the brand of car, knowing that his cousin had enough money and never hesitated to spend it.
The tinted gla-ss, coupled with the darkness which had enveloped the area prevented him from seeing inside the car, but as he turned towards the owner’s side, his cousin alighted from the driver’s seat. He raised his brow in surprise but had a big smile for his cousin.
“Here’s my man” Kelvin bellowed pulling his cousin into a brotherly hu-g.
“Good to see you too brother” Maxwell said grinning.
TBC…