CAN’T HOLD MY TEARS
EPISODE 11
The slight noise I heard coming from the sitting room the next day was enough to rouse my attention and lift my eyes from the book I was occu-pying myself with. I had been advised by the hospital nurses to get the book titled ‘Every Woman’ and Tina had helped me purchase it from a nearby bookshop. The book proved to possess a lot of stunning information, however, as I re-ad it to divert my depressing thoughts, the continuous noise from the sitting room was proving a strong distraction. I placed the book on my be-d, opened face down, in order to know where I st©pped. I opened the door to my be-droom and walked curiously down the stairs. Alex’s voice bec@m£ clear to me even before I got to the stairs, and then I heard her voice.
“Oh no” I whispered. “Do I have to deal with this witch again?” I asked, like answers would come from the walls. I got to the stairs and what I saw below was enough to make me take the stairs two at a time, without minding my condition. There were boxes sprawled everywhere almost enough to fill the mas-sive sitting room. I watched abs£ntly as Alex monito-red the movements of the traveling boxes, looking overwhelmingly tired. The driver was also there, with Tina and Tola, carrying out the orders of Alex and Lisa. Despite the exhausted expressions of everyone there, Lisa, on the other hand, looked like a magazine model in her trou-ser go-wn. I did not have the time to even envy her beauty as I landed on solid ground and confronted the rather confusing scene.
“What is going on here?” I interrupted their subtle conversation.
Lisa smiled at me. “What does it look like?” she asked with a satisfied superior look on her face.
I cast a glance around. “It certainly looks like someone is about to open a box selling business. What I don’t know is if this house would be the shop” I said smugly.
“Well, I don’t blame your slow br@in. You never did go beyond secondary school after all. Oh wait! You did not even finish secondary school” she laughed heartily and I felt my anger rise. I so wanted to gr-ab her weave-on and tear it off her scalp. I f0rç£fully looked beyond her at Alex who was also looking at me.
“She is moving in Amara” he mouthed.
“Excuse me?”
Lisa grinned as she stared at my pale face. “You heard him, or do you have ear defects also? I am moving in. Just as you can’t afford to have your b****** child in your parent’s house, or hut, as the case may be, I have no intention of delivering my precious little angel…” she ru-bbe-d her flat tummy. “… Outside the father’s house” she smiled at Alex. “Our wedding arrangements are ongoing and I believe we would be married soon” she declared.
The very ground rocked un-der my feet as I stared unseeing at the pair in front of me. I went rock still and Lisa, after waiting fruitlessly for a response, turned to Alex. “I think we should take these bags upstairs now.”
“You are out of your mind if you think you would be living here” I countered. “Are you crazy?” I roared. “No, correction. Are you both crazy? You seem to think I am a fool, right?”
Alex looked angry but Lisa was quic-k to talk. “No. I don’t think you are a fool, I know you are. You think I won’t live here?” she laughed. “Watch me” she mouthed. I swallowed and blinked back angry tears. It is times like this that I wish I wasn’t so emotional. Why on earth should I cry at this junction? Anger at myself and the delectable two in front of me almost ran me mad. Lisa pe-cked Alex on the cheeks and pla-yed with t©p bu-tton of his shi-t, tracing his che-st in the process. “Am I going to be staying in your room with you?” she asked with a coy smile and my ears suddenly started working perfectly.
Alex went still for a nanosecond, and then shook his head. “These bags, coupled with my own clothes would make the room clumsy. You can choose any room you want” he said. She looked disappointed for some seconds, then she seemed to brighten up like a fresh idea had popped into her head.
“Any room?” she asked again and he nodded.
I swallowed. He had said the same thing to me. What the hell was going on here? I had stated once that he was probably a baby-ma-king factory; I couldn’t have been more accurate. I wondered how many women would pour into the house, claiming that Alex was breeding a new life in their wo-mb. Tears of hurt burned in my eyes as Lisa ran upstairs like an excited puppy. “I am going to choose the best room, the best” she squealed as she went.
I faced Alex who did not even spare me a glance. He dismissed me like I was not even relevant and my anger bubbled. “Are you not going to offer an explanation for what is going on here Alex?” I bellowed as confused angry tears rolled down my cold cheeks.
He looked bored when he turned to face me. “What else is there to explain again?” he sighed out. “Listen Amara, I am really exhausted. There should be nothing to worry about. This house is so big; a thousand people would live here conveniently. Luckily for you, you are used to staying in your room, so I guess it would be very easy to ignore her pres£nce in the house.”
My eyes wi-de-ned. “Are you being seriously vain or what? How dare you disrespect me in such manner? No matter the circu-mtances of our marriage, the fact remains that we are married and I would not have you drag me in the mud by flaunting another woman before me. I won’t allow it” I yelled on t©p of my lungs. God! Where is death when I really nee-d it?
“Oh woman, would you st©p yelling? You don’t have the right to allow or disallow anything in my house. I fail to see what your problem is. I thought this issue was over and done with.” He glared at me and opened his mouth to speak and suddenly realized that we had an audience. He turned to glare at Tina, Tola and the driver, Raman. He ordered them to start packing the luggage upstairs into any room that Lisa picked, then he turned back to me. He reduced his voice until it was a whisper. “We have an agreement Amara. If I remember correctly, we both have the liberty to do whatsoever we so wished. This is my house and I have the right to bring in whoever I deem fit. Lisa has as much rights as you have in this house, if not more, because she is obviously more sophisticated than you are and I don’t nee-d signed do¢v-ments where she is concerned. St©p ma-king this ha-rd on yourself, just accept things the way they are because if you push me, I would make rash decisions, and trust me, no amount of threat by my father would st©p me from kicking you out, together with that thing you are carrying” he glared at me, and all I could do was look at him. He was practically grinding my heart until it was as smooth as paste. My heart ached painfully as I reeled from the impact of his words.
“Baby” Lisa’s voice called from the t©p of the stairs and Alex raised his eyes to her.
“Have you found the room that suits you Lisa?” Alex asked.
“I have” she said, with a smug mischievous smile on her face. “But I fear it is being occu-pied” she said.
“What do you mean?” Alex asked, not quite following what was being said.
“Baby, Tola was kind enough to tell me that the room is being occu-pied by that thing beside you. That is the only room that catches my fancy. It is ironic that the dirty village girl has eyes for good things” she said.
“You won’t dare” I challenged.
Alex must have noticed the strain because he said, “Really dear? But that room is small, not as big as the remaining rooms. Besides, you always told me that you liked the room beside mine.”
She frowned and quic-kly smiled. “Yeah baby, but you have to admit that when I said that, I was not thinking of living here. Now that I am made to choose, only two rooms appeal to me; that room and your room. So Alex, it is either I have that room, or I stay with you” she stated firmly.
I watched stupefied as Alex turned to me with an apologetic look. He opened his mouth but I was quic-k to silence him. “Don’t you dare say what I think you are about to say. Don’t you dare?”
“I am sorry” He began but his phone interrupted. He picked instantly. My br@in was racing from the multi-ple things happening all at once. What the hell was going on? I felt like I had been going round in circles for God knows how long. The effect of it made me dizzy. Am I the only one the devil has his eyes on?
Alex seemed to have ended his call and he glanced at Lisa, not even looking at me. “I have to get back to the office” he said. “Get settled and feel at home sweetheart” he said with a smile. One that resembled the ones he used to capture my heart back in the village. Lisa walked down the steps, hvgged him ti-ght and gave him a loud exaggerated k!ss. I felt like squee-zing the life out of her.
“Be careful baby, don’t get yourself worked up” she tugged on his collars pla-yfully. “And the room?” she asked, knowing that either option would affect me negatively, although I told myself that I did not give a damn if she stayed with Alex.
Alex nodded impatiently. “Ask the maids to move her things into another room, you can have her room”
“What?” I yelled.
“Look at it objectively Amara, you would have a bigger room. What is so special about that room, by the way?” he asked, turning to leave.
I dragged him back. “I don’t nee-d a bigger room Alex. How dare you ask me to leave my room because her?” I yelled
He turned with alarming anger. “If you are not ok with it, you can as well go to hell” he roared and stormed out of the house before I could blink.
Lisa grinned satisfactorily at me. “Now, that is what I call payback. Revenge is best served cold. You had your time to displ@ystupidity when I first saw you and now, it is my time to turn the tables. Alex would always do what I want him to do. Get used to it” She grinned and walked up the stairs and I saw Tina looking white-faced and shocked. Tola looked…like she was trying ha-rd not to grin. I did not even try to blink; I let the tears flow unhindered.
CAN’T HOLD MY TEARS
EPISODE 12
Tina paced the kitchen nervously. Her br@in was in overdrive and she did not have the slightest idea about what to do. It has been three days since the abominable Miss Lisa entered the house and the house was practically on fire, but that was not what was getting on Tina’s nerves. Ever since Amara moved into another room, Tina hadn’t set her eyes on her. She had practically locked herself inside the room without opening the door. No single sound c@m£ out of the room and it was beginning to scare Tina to death. Since she hadn’t even opened the door, it was obvious that she hadn’t eaten anything for the past three days.
The frustration was too much for Tina to handle and she paraded Amara’s door endlessly, knocking loud and ha-rd enough to rouse the dead and speaking both softly and sharply throu-gh the door, but she hadn’t received even a sound in response. She had repeatedly left meals by the door, hoping that Amara would at least eat, even if she did not want to see anyone but she always ended up retrieving the cold meals unt©uçhed until Lisa yelled her br@ins out, threatening to get her fired if she continued to waste her ‘husband’s resources on a hopeless village dropout’.
Fear gr!pp£dTina as she wondered what had happened to Amara. Three days! Yet Amara was not opening the door. She had pushed aside negative thoughts at first but since yesterday, she couldn’t but think about evil things. ‘What if she sli-pped and fell in the bathroom?’… ‘She might be terribly sick’… All her attempts to st©p her fears proved ab-ortive. She had tried to bring the matter up before Mr. Alex but she never got to meet him alone and every time she got to mention Amara’s name Miss Lisa would shut her up instantly, saying that she and her hussy were not interested in spoiling their mood with the ‘village tramp’ and that she should mind her business and do what she was employed to do instead of carrying gossips. Mr. Alex had also seemed to be in perfect sync with Miss Lisa. Tina did not believe that a man could be so cold and heartless.
“Hey” Tina j£rked and saw Tola looking at her with a frown. “Do you want to drill holes into the expensive kitchen tiles? What is eating you up?” Tola asked.
Tina did not nee-d to be told that Tola disliked Amara, it had been obvious since day one, but still, Tina felt obliged to share her worry, hoping beyond hope that Tola would put aside her hatred and help her find a solution to this issue. “I am worried Tola” Tina responded.
Tola hissed. “I can see that clearly. My question is why?”
Tina hesitated then threw caution to the wind as anxiety took over. “It is our madam, Amara. She has not opened the door to her room for the past three days. I am getting scared.
Tola frowned de-eply, looking terribly worried to the surprise and relief of Tina. “Oh my God! And you are just telling me now? You always spend time with her and since she was always used to staying in her room, I did not notice anything weird” she seemed startled now.
This made Tina more worried. “I know. I should have told you but I thought she just wanted to be left alone and was sulking because of Miss Lisa’s arrival, but this is the third day Tola. She has been in there without eating for three days. I am so scared.”
“Jesus” she breathed. “Let’s go there again” she started out of the kitchen instantly and Tina hastily followed.
When they got to Amara’s room, the knocked and ban-ged endlessly and called out but there was no response. They tried to open the door but it was firmly locked. Sweat gathered on Tina’s forehead and she wiped it away, feeling cold all over. Her heart raced in fear.
“Jesus! What are we going to do Tina?” Tola asked getting equally agitated.
“I don’t know” Tina almost screamed. “That is why I told you. Miss Lisa knows but she does not give a damn. She hasn’t allowed me to tell Mr. Alex either” she swallowed. “What if… what if something happened to her? What if…”
“Oh Tina, shut up. You are beginning to scare me” Tola mouthed nervously. “Come, let’s see if we can find a spare key to open the door” Tina nodded, even though she had alre-ady done that before, searching again was a very good idea.
********************
*back to when Lisa want to take over Amara’s room, that makes her to be indoor*
“Let go of my cloth you this prostitute” I pitched and snatched my cloth from her hand.
She faced me furiously and laughed slightly.
“I think ‘Slut’ should be your middle name you this dirty village girl. Why couldn’t you have found someone else to impregnate you, you had the nerve to choose my Alex. My own Alex! I would show you pepper in this house” she yelled, shaking her b©dy vigorously like someone in battle. She faced the maids. “Pack her things” she ordered.
I blocked the doorway. If someone would re-move my things from this room, they would have to first re-move me from the entrance. I watched Tola gr-ab my sack of clothes, as that was virtually the only the thing in that room that was mine. Tina looked as though she were about to cry.
“Drop my bag this minute Tola” I said menacingly.
Lisa gr@bb£d the bag that contained nothing of substance to make it heavy and held it up like it was a contaminable disease.
“Do you call this bag?” she laughed heartily. “This thing is not dignified enough to sit in my dustbin” she said, looking irritated.
“Would you shut up” I yelled and before I could even notice my movement, my hand rose and connected firmly with her cheeks, s£nding her reeling. She fought for balance and red marks showed on her pale white face. She stood and retaliated soundly. The echo of the sl@p vibr@ted throu-gh me as I staggered. I heard Tina g@sp as she made to stable me before I hit the wall. I had some seconds to catch my breath, but those seconds were all Lisa nee-ded to have my clothes out of the room.
“plea-se don’t do this” Tina whispered. “You have to take it easy, do it for your baby”
I shrugged her off. I was in no mood to ‘take it easy’. All I wanted to do was scream my lungs out until I was completely exhausted.
I paced the cold floors of my new room in total frustration and anger. Lisa and I had yelled at each other, countless number of times and I found that my throat was a bit so-re. The serene and quiet house had suddenly turned to a battle field as Lisa and I exchanged heated words. The house seemed to be boiling in tension and I could not even sit at one sp©t for five minutes without standing up to pace. Both Tina and Tola were on their toes, carrying out the orders of Lisa. The house seemed to be on fire. I couldn’t just calm down.
I did not know when Alex c@m£ in because of the strategic position of my new irritating room but immediately I heard his voice some distance from my room, I bec@m£ alert. He was obviously talking to Lisa.
“Oh, my poor baby, you look so tired” she said. “You sure nee-d to let off steam” I heard her say again.
“Any suggestions?” there seemed to be a smile in Alex’s voice.
There was silence and I told myself that I did not want to know what the silence meant.
“Why don’t you eat first?” she said again after the long silence.
“I know what I would rather eat but I am actually really hungry” I heard him say. “Let me take a shower and meet you at the dinning” he said and she murmured something I could not catch. I heard footsteps and knew Alex was going into his room. I swallowed and opened my door. I told myself that Alex would have to offer me some good explanations for the way he had been treating me.
I walked to his be-droom and paused outside his room, wandering if I should knock or just go in. deciding that there was no nee-d for me to show him any respect when he obviously could not do that for me, I pushed against the handle and entered. He was standing with his back to me.
“Did you have a change of heart Lisa?” he asked, obviously smiling.
“I wish you did” he turned around at that. I had to f0rç£fully ignore his wi-de opened che-st and the shi-t that hung openly.
His eyes showed his irritation. “What the hell are you doing in here?” he growled.
“Why? Why Alex? Why did you choose to put me throu-gh this? I never asked for this” I g@sped out.
“I am not in the mood for this-”
I cut in. “You approached me in the village, ma-king me feel like the most outstanding woman on earth. You told me you loved me and that no other woman could take my place in your heart. What changed? What-”
“It was all a ploy” he cut in.
I started. “What does that mean?”
“I never meant all those nons-en-se I said to you. How could i?” he asked bewildered, like I was totally a fool for even believing it. “It was all p@rt of the plan to get you into my be-d.”
“What are you talking about Corper?” I asked with a sickly pale face.
He exhaled. “All the guys and corpers in the village could not get you into their be-d, you know. They were so sure that you were unt©uçhable and they wanted to see who had the capacity to deflower the ‘almighty Amara’. They placed a bet, and I, took the challenge. You were a sweet challenge and I wanted my Service days to be lively. I used those ro-mantic words as bait and when you finally fell into my be-d, I showed the guys the blood-stained sheet as the evidence of my victory. So, you see? St©p wondering what changed my feelings because there was never any feeling. I was all a bet”
WATCHOUT FOR EPISODE 13
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