Menu Close

Can’t hold my tears 2 Episode 19

Amara drove home in the wee hours of the morning, still very worried. Kelvin’s line had been unreachable last night and she was beginning to really worry. She had gone through the list of ‘What ifs’ and was already tired of it. She entered the still-dark compound and parked her car. She walked to her apartment and froze as she was about to open the door. A note hung on the door and she fearfully took it out. Kelvin had said that someone was watching the house, what now? Carefully, she opened her eyes and stared confusingly at the words.
“Who the hell are you” Amara screamed at the note, crumbling the paper in her hands. Her heart beat fast. Kelvin? What is he hiding? What is going on? She gripped the handle of the door and leaned against it, staring into the thin darkness around her. Kelvin!
Amara entered her apartment minutes after and paced the sitting room. She felt like she was already minutes away from madness. It might just take another time bomb to throw her into the state of complete insanity. Who the hell was manipulating her so effectively? And what on earth is Kelvin hiding. She knew very well from the numerous Nigerian and American movies she had watched that there would be an element of truth in what she just read. What could Kelvin be hiding. Could she even confront Kelvin because of what a demented person scribbled on a paper? Worse still, could she ignore the note and not die due to curiosity? She took a deep breath but it was useless because her breath came in g@sps. No, she didn’t want to have a cause to hate Kelvin. Of everyone on earth, please, not Kelvin!
She picked her phone and shakily dialed Kelvin’s number. She was surprised when it rang since it hadn’t been going throughout yesterday. She contemplated hanging up before Kelvin picked up, but just then, Kelvin picked up, his muffled sleepy hello enveloped her s£nses. She almost discarded her reason for calling on the spot.
“Kelvin” she murmured as her heart pounded. “I need to see you”
“Is everything alright?” His voice was sharp and alert now. “Are you OK?”
“Yes, I am fine. I need to see you now, can you tell me your address?” She asked, pacing.
“I would come over”
“No” Amara cut in instantly. “I want to come”
There was a slight pause, then Kelvin conceded and gave her his address. “Please drive carefully honey”
Amara sighed and ended the call.
The drive to Kelvin’s house seemed too long. She was forgetting inside and out, but she had to get this out of her system before she exploded. She pressed the horn when she got to the m@ssive gate which should belong to Kelvin and almost instantly, the gate opened. As she drove into the compound, she saw him standing outside in a fitted top and jeans trouser. Her heart pounded and she parked instantly, alighting from the car. Kelvin approached her, frowning deeply as she came out of the car and closed the door.
“What is going on Ara?” He asked instantly. Noticing the chill outside, he quickly pulled her into the house. Amara did not have the time to admire both the outer and inner decor of the house, she just needed to be sure Kelvin wasn’t an enemy. Oh God! I really pray so.
“What are you hiding from me?” She dropped immediately the door closed.
Kelvin stood stock still as blood drained from his face. “What do you mean?”
“Just answer me Kelvin” Amara said shakily, noticing with great horror the state of his pale face. “Are you hiding something from me Kelvin?”
Kelvin swallowed h@rd and looked away.
“What is going on Kelvin?” Amara yelled in fright. Oh no! “You are hiding something? What is it?”
“I… I am sorry Amara”
Amara paled. “You are?” Was he the one responsible for what has been happening? “What are you sorry for?”
“Your… child”
Child? What child? Amara stood like a stick staring at Kelvin. “What… What…?”
“Your child didn’t… die at birth Amara. He is alive”
Icy chill swept up Amara’s spine, leaving goosebumps in their wake as her saucer-large eyes stared at Kelvin. She opened her mouth wordlessly with nothing coming out but her audible g@sps as her heart raced beyond control. Days back, she would have attributed the racing to attraction, but now, fear ruled her mind, body and soul. She surely couldn’t have heard him correctly right? Oh no, she was either hallucinating or she had truly gone insane.
Kelvin’s face was drawn tight against his bones, making him look very much his age as his eyes tried h@rd, unsuccessfully to look into hers. “Ara… I am… sorry… Please forgive me Ara, I never meant to hurt you… Never! All I ever wanted was your happiness” Kelvin looked on the verge of tears, something that she had never seen before, but all Amara could do was gap at him like an alien. Or was he an alien?
Amara’s eyes blurred. It seemed like she was about to faint… her heart was racing beyond control, but still, she could not draw her eyes away from Kelvin, neither could she close her mouth. The words flashed on and on in her head till she was sure she would go insane. My son. My son! My son?
Her eyes blurred the more and her knees weakened drastically. Kelvin instantly stretched his hand to stable her but Amara jumped away like Kelvin was infected with a chronic case of Ebola. Kelvin recoiled, his eyes registering how much that had hurt him as he dropped his arm back to his side. Amara continued to take backward steps until her back finally hit the wall, her eyes never leaving Kelvin’s wavering ones. She lifted her hand shakily and pointed at Kelvin’s head. “You… you…” she croaked out.
“I am so… so sorry” he pleaded
“Shut up! Shut up!” She suddenly screamed, grabbing her head in pain as severe headache s£nt her head into serious pain. A bit quietly. “Just shut up” she looked around weirdly, looking like she was searching for something. “Are you trying…” she laughed crazily. “Oh God!” She shook her head, then finally looked at Kelvin, whose eyes were clouded with tears. “Are you telling me now that my child is alive? My son is alive?” She shrieked.
Kelvin couldn’t gather the decency to answer, and to Amara, silence was more than enough answer. Her eyes slid slowly to the floor. “Wow” she breathed, staring intently at the floor as tears slid unnoticed down her cheeks. “Wow” she g@sped again.
“I only wanted you both to be happy Ara… please believe me… I never meant to hurt you”
“Wow” she breathed again as her body dragged down the wall, falling in a heap on the tiled floor. Her br£@sts ached fiercely, reminding her sharply of that period… that time years back when her br£@sts had ached severely, milk dripping ceaselessly from them with no child to feed. The pain and tears had been so much… so unbearable… so maddening. Her brain flashed back and she remembered that fateful day years back when she had woken up on the hospital bed with the pain that accompanied post-labour. The pain had been excruciating, telling her vividly, just how much she ached to see the reward of her painful labour… But Kelvin had been there! Kelvin had pres£nted his deceitful face. She had thought at the time that he was the most caring person on the planet, little did she know that he had actually been laughing at her pain. Laughing at her sorrow. Her tears fell and fell, dampening the front of her top. “You have been laughing at me” she g@sped out as the reality dawned on her like the rays of an exposed sun in her face.
Kelvin crouched low before her instantly. “No love! I only wanted what was best for you” his voice shook terribly but Amara was beyond noticing. She wasn’t even listening to him. “You always lamented about carrying a product of incest. I was scared that you would come to hate the child if he stayed with you. Please believe me. Please Ara.…” he raised his hand shakily, daring to touch Amara’s knee.
Amara’s hand flashed out immediately he touched her, connecting with his cheek soundly, and then, she couldn’t stop herself. “Don’t … don’t … don’t … don’t touch me” she yelled, punctuating each word with a slap, swinging her two arms until it ached terribly. She shot to her feet in a flash. Kelvin made no attempt to stop her rage, seeming ready to take whatever punishment she lashed on him.
“How dare you Kelvin?” She cried, tears rushing down her cheeks. “I trusted you!” She exclaimed. “I trusted you! Even more than I trusted myself. But you stabbed me. Just like everyone else in my life, you brought me nothing but pain. And to think you did it so smoothly, without a trace” she yelled, bewildered. “Oh my God! I am such a fool” she laughed shortly in a choked manner, her eyes dashing about the apartment, not seeing anything but her lingering feelings of pain… of betrayal… “I come to you anytime I am hurt, not knowing that you were making fun of me”
“No Amara, I never did, I would never do such a thing”
Amara returned her eyes to his sharply, glaring at him. She was oblivious to the tears which had sl!pped out of his eyes. She was oblivious to the pure sincerity in his face and the raw pain he was feeling. She was oblivious to everything but the pain that engulfed her s£nses. The ache of the br£@sts which were deprived of the responsibility of feeding her child. The ache in her heart which announced loudly that she had again given her heart to the wrong man; that she had again given her love to a monster. She wanted to hit Kelvin so badly, her body shook from the effort it took to restrain herself, but more than anything, she wanted to hit herself. She wanted to hit herself until she woke up to the reality that this was all a terribly bad dream.
“Please hit me” Kelvin pleaded as she clenched her fists. “Hit me as much as you like because God knows I deserve it. I totally deserve it” he said. “But please… don’t hate me Ara… please”
Amara swallowed h@rd. “It is rather late to ask me that” she dropped. “I already hate you! The more I look at you, I hate you.” Amara registered the deep hurt that flashed and rested on his features. She took her eyes away and ran the back of her palm against her w€t cheeks. “Where is my son?” She croaked out.
“He is not here” Kelvin’s voice sounded distant and lost, but at the moment, she couldn’t even bring herself to care.
“I want my son” she yelled at him. “I need my son right away or I swear I would have you locked in prison for what you did. Where is he?” She screamed, grabbing Kelvin’s shirt and shaking him with all her might, barely managing to even sway him.
“He is with someone. I would bring him to you”
Amara turned on her heels and marched out of the apartment. Kelvin followed in her wake. Weirdly, heavy rain had started outside. “You can’t drive in this. Please stay” Kelvin pleaded gently but Amara was already in the rain, walking fast like the devil himself was behind her. And maybe he was!
Despite the short distance between the building and her car, Amara was soaking w€t when she got to her car. She opened the door nevertheless and was about to enter when Kelvin pulled her back against his also drenched form. “You can’t drive like this Ara… if you must go, let me drive you home”
Amara glared up at him, the rain biting at her face. “Get your filthy hands off me now, Kelvin” she gritted out and shoved him away with all her might. She jumped into the car and slammed the door, instantly locking it. Her f!ng£rs shook, both from cold and fury as she tried h@rd to put the key in its hole. After seconds of missing the target, she finally put the key where it should go and started the car. Kelvin looked shattered as he stood by the car in the rain, watching helplessly. Amara gripped the steering like a vise and reversed, blaring the horn wildly until the gateman jumped out of his house to open the gate. As she drove out, she turned her teary eyes back to the house for the last time, and there he was – the one who had stabbed her in the heart – still standing there in the rain, watching her leave.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.