When a man loves
‘Am I that handsome,’ I asked trying to flirt with her.
She immediately looked aside and that made me laugh.
‘You are not even paying attention.’
‘I am sorry.’
She had asked me to help her out with her assignment and I couldn’t say no to the mother of my child. I am still getting to know Chichi and so far so good, she is a lovely girl and fun to hang around with. Just as I was about to show her how it’s done, her stomach growled.
‘I am sorry.’
I smiled and got up.
‘Let me prepare you something to eat.’
‘I feel so embarrassed right now,’ she said getting up too, ‘I ate just 2 hours ago but now I feel soo hungry as if I didn’t eat anything.’
‘As long as you are with me,’ I said putting the banana in her mouth, ‘I will cook for you.’
‘You are such a darl..i mean a good person.’
It’s been 6 months already and her baby bump is now showing. She is a slender and probably why she is already showing. I prepared her the food and we sat in the kitchen together as I am feeding her.
‘So is Vincent your boyfriend?’
She got chocked and I quickly patted her back.
‘I am sorry.’
‘It’s okay,’ she said wiping off her mouth.
‘He is not my boyfriend.’
‘Why are you being so defensive?’
‘I am not.’
‘Yes you are.’
‘I don’t want to eat anymore,’ she said getting up.
I quickly grabbed her hand and she fell on my lap. I deeply looked at her.
‘Do you like me?’
‘Because I like you. I asked about Vincent because I am jealous. Maybe you wouldn’t want anything to do with me after this pregnancy, I mean after the baby is born but I was wishing to have something with you. I don’t want; I mean the co-parenting thing. It won’t be healthy for our child. I have seen the way you look at me Chichi. You like me, don’t you? It doesn’t have to be today that we fall deeply in love with each other. We can be good friends and act like friends. How is that?’
‘Okay, I think that will be a very good idea.’
She was about to get off my lap when I held her so tightly in my arms.
‘Thank you for everything.’
‘What did I do?’ she smiled.
‘You have done a lot Chichi and you are a special person to me.’
She just smiled and that was it. Silly girl, she finally finished off her food. I washed the dishes and let her finish off her assignment. Funny, her Auntie trusted me with her.
‘Do y…,’ I was about to ask if she needed something from town.
She had dosed off on the sofa and it was at around 1pm. I just smiled. Well I hope that baby wasn’t going to let her fail. I bet she had become too lazy to study. I lifted her up and put her in the guest room. I walked out of the room making sure not to wake her up. I took a drive to the market. I needed to buy her some few fruits or things needed for her to stay healthy. I had goggled some of the things you know. I wanted her to stay healthy and the baby as well.
I was busy picking stuff and putting them in the tray when I heard his voice. He was on the television and have been campaigning for people to vote for him as the next Prime Minister. So they got married, 3 months ago and their wedding was the talk of the town. That moment I realized that I had to move on. You might find it very silly of me. I had thought maybe Marisa will come back to me but then she wasn’t. The moment I heard about Chichi being pregnant with my child, it’s the very moment that I decided to move on.
I loved Marisa with all of my heart and even now I don’t hold any grudge towards her. She broke my heart and that was it. I needed to move on from this pain and suffering. Right now my attention has drifted on Chichi and the baby. I want her to have the best life, I want her to be well taken care of and I don’t want her to be unhappy. So much have happened to me, I hold bad memories when it comes to love but if it has given me a second chance then I have to move on.
We are only human; we may not get everything right the first time, the second time, the third time or even the hundredth time. But that’s why it’s important to have a second chance at something. All of us have made mistakes at some point in our lives, but if all was lost after. We’d have no motivation to try anything ever again. Take chances, make mistakes and that’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave, that’s what I have learnt.
I went back home and to my surprise Chichi was still sleeping. Is she expecting twins or what? I mean the way she is sleeping now; I am really getting worried about her sleeping behavior.
She is writing her exams in few weeks to come and I wouldn’t want her to fail. If it was healthy, I would have brought her the energy drink but too much caffeine, hmmm I doubt if it was healthy for her.
‘Oh my word, I feel so tired,’ she said in a yawn while walking inside the room.
I was in the kitchen preparing her something to eat and she is always eating. Honestly I don’t mind cooking for her. So a lot of people had seen me with Chichi. Some of the times I just used to take care for an exercise, it was just a walk. Some would say we make a perfect couple, people talked but I didn’t mind at all. Sometimes you don’t have to worry about what people think about you. You know yourself very well that you won’t even get angry if someone says you are prostitute, unless you are and you get mad about it.
Otherwise if you 100% know yourself I don’t think you will have to stress about anything. Same goes with me, they said a lot. You know I turned from someone who can’t have any children to someone who got a varsity student pregnant. Imagine what if i took that to heart, what if I listened to all those people. I might have ended up letting go of her.
‘Vusi, hello,’ she said waving her hand in front of my face.
I had zoned out thinking about a lot of things.
‘What are you thinking about? I am waiting for the food,’ she said and bite her lip.
‘Boss lady,’ I pinched her.
I served her and she ate the food, finishing the whole plate. That’s just how hungry she was. I drove Chichi home at around 5pm as I had promised her Auntie that I was going to bring her back. I had fun with her and as I had said it before, it was always fun hanging around with her. I drove to my parents’ house; I had planned to spend just a few days with them since my older brother had travelled. He had gone to see his family and dad had suggested that he brings them back with him. I guess he was still feeling afraid after that kidnapping thing with one of his child being abducted. I will make that a story for another day. I parked my car and got off. Heading to the door, I had brought my mother some flowers from my garden. Sometimes every time I look at these flowers at my backyard, they remind me of my wife. You know I was with her when I decided to grow them. You can just imagine. Mum opened the door for me and I hugged her. I handed her the flowers and once I was inside she looked back as if she was expecting someone to walk in with me.
‘Are you looking for someone?’ I said to her as I looked around too.
‘Where is Chichi?’
‘I dropped her off on my way here.’
So mum had asked me to give her Chichi’s phone number. Can you believe the two actually went for baby shopping? Mum loves that girl very much and I am just so grateful for the way she has been treating her. You know me and Chichi we are not married but every relative of mine has been treating her like, she has just become the daughter-in law. At least they made her feel welcome, just like they did it with Marisa.
‘Ohh I thought you were coming with her,’ she said closing the door.
‘She even cooked for 4 people,’ said dad as he was setting the table.
‘Did she?’ I laughed and mum pinched him.
‘I was hoping to see her today.’
‘You know that she will be writing her exams right? She is currently busy with school.’
‘Isn’t that going to stress the baby?’
‘Is it? Mum, you are freaking out. I am taking good care of her. She wasn’t even studying at my house. She spent the whole day sleeping, adorable.’
I was busy smiling when mum just looked at me. You know with that look.
‘What is it?’
‘It’s good to see you smile and you like her. Don’t you.’
‘I will take the water out of the fridge.’
‘Your son,’ she said to dad.
‘You are asking a lot of questions.’
‘You are siding with him?’
‘No, he is not,’
It was always fun having dinner with my parents. They knew how to spice up my mood. They honestly act like best friends you know. Mum doesn’t need a friend because dad is always there for her. I was like that with Marisa, it’s such a pity that things didn’t work out well between us. After finishing off dinner with my parents, I drove back home. I was just going to sleep since I had already eaten something. It’s at around 8pm and my lights are switched on. It’s actually stranger because I had the house keys with me. I call out the driver just after parking my car at the garage. He comes to me running. I think someone has entered my house or maybe should I call it trespassing.
‘Who is inside?’
‘Madam? Which ma….Marisa?!’
What was she doing in my house? I dismissed the driver and walked inside the house. My nostrils were hit with a smell of fried chicken. I walked to the kitchen and there was Marisa at my stove.
‘Marisa, what are you doing here?’
‘Babe, you are home?’ she said and walked to me.
She just hugged me.
‘I have prepared some dinner for us, I hope you like it,’ she said and as for me, I am in complete shock.
I had so many questions to ask her right now. The first one will be, what is she doing at my house? But of cause she had the other key to my house. I hadn’t thought about that, the possibility of Marisa coming back to my house. I last saw this woman in person, almost a year ago. Well it’s not a year exactly but it’s been long since I last saw her.
‘I have prepared your favorite dish,’ she said setting the plates on the table.
I haven’t said a word since I walked in on her. I am just watching her trying to play the wife material. She was now a married woman and I wonder if Jay was aware of her whereabouts. Or did he send her to spy on me. Trust me, I hold no grudge towards Marisa but I have moved on from her. My main focus right now is Chiedza and the baby.
‘The soup should be ready by now,’ she said and I am standing there with arms folded.
She put the rice in a plate, the soup and lastly it was the salad. It looks delicious, it’s well prepared but I am not hungry for that. I am not hungry for my ex-wife’s cooking’s. I am mad at her; right now I feel disrespected by her. Shouldn’t we respect each other’s boundaries? She is married to Jay and I honestly don’t want anything to do with her.
‘You can sit down,’ she said with a smile spread across her face.
I don’t know what got into me, maybe it’s because I didn’t express my anger towards her when she divorced me. Maybe it’s because I was mad at her. How can she just come back to my house, cook for me and continue to pretend as if something never happened to us? I wasn’t going to have any of that bullshit she was trying to play on me. This is what I did, because I was angry and I wanted her out of my house. I grabbed the plate which she had placed on the table and walked to the sink.
‘Vusi!’ she shouted when I threw the well prepared dinner in the sink.
She rushed to the sink and looked inside with tears streaming down on her cheeks. Back then it hurt me a lot seeing her in tears, she would cry in private. She would refuse to tell me what was wrong with her afraid that I will get stressed up but I just cared. But right now, I don’t feel anything. Not even a hint of emotion in me. I walked to the stove and took the plates. I threw everything which was inside in the bin. Yes I am wasting food but what would you have done if you were in my shoes? Thank her for preparing the food for you because you had missed her cooking’s. I did miss her cooking’s back then because it was different from Pamela’s, it was different from my mother’s but suddenly I got used to the idea of having a different taste when I am eating something that wasn’t prepared by my wife.
She is busy calling out my name when I am actually throwing the food away. I place the pots on the sink.
‘What the fuck is this Marisa?’ I shouted with a hint of anger in my voice, whilst breaking the water glass.
‘You are bleeding,’ she said trying to touch my hand but I pushed her.
She fell down on the floor and that didn’t affect me. Back then I would have given her my hand, to hold on to it so that she wouldn’t fall. Back then I would have thanked my wife for cooking the food and help her to wash the dishes. Although these memories are still in my brain, I am going to completely erase them. I must have loved Marisa enough to hate her as well. As the saying goes, ‘’I will hate you more than I ever loved you,’’ that’s exactly how I felt towards her. Hate being a strong word for her but I don’t feel good right now.
‘I want you out of my house,’ I said raising my voice at her when she was up on her two feet, ‘What is wrong with you Marisa? What the hell is wrong with you? Aren’t you supposed to be with Jay? For goodness sake Marisa, your husband is crazy and trust me I don’t want trouble in my life.’
Is she this stupid? Honestly I don’t know what is wrong with her. She knows what kind of a person Jay is and her mother too. Listen this is what is going to happen, they will think that I am trying to get her back, and I am never doing that. Jay will want to hurt me and I don’t want anything to happen to me or any other person that I love in my life. Right now the only person that’s on my mind is Chichi. I have to think about Chichi, the baby and their safety. Marisa is just being foolish right now if she is thinking about herself.
‘What are you doing in my house?’
Funny, I was supposed to ask that question the moment, I walked in on her.
‘I had missed you Vusi.’
I laughed at that statement.
‘Missed me? Marisa, you need to leave my house. Where is your bag?’ I asked walking out of the kitchen.
Her bag was on sofa; I took her bag and opened it. Everything which was in the bag, I scattered it on the floor. I was searching for the house keys. I found it and took it. I put bag everything inside and handed her the bag.
‘Vusi, why are you treating me this way?’
‘It’s because I want nothing to do with you Marisa. I have moved on and having you in my life right now will put my b…,’ I stopped at mid-sentence.
She doesn’t have to know that I am expecting a baby, never i am not going to tell her.
‘I am sorry Vusi for leaving you like that.’
‘Well it’s a good thing you left,’ my word that was rude right, ‘maybe we were never meant to be.’
‘Don’t say that Vusi.’
‘I am saying it Marisa, the way it is I am saying it and I mean it. It’s funny; you remember how much I used to defend our love. I tried to protect our marriage from your mother but at the end she won. Listen you need to go back home and be with your baby daddy. I have had a long day today and certainly not a good mood for this.’
‘I don’t love him Vusi. He is very controlling.’
‘Marisa you have been married to that man for few months.’
‘I know but you need to trust me on this one. I am finally seeing who he really is, his true colors and intentions towards me. He doesn’t love his daughter because she is a girl.’
I was dying to have a child and didn’t mind which gender.
‘Well I wish I could sympathize with you Marisa but I am in no state to do that.’
‘He asked me to quit my job Vusi. You know that I can’t even do that. I have been a doctor for years and..’
‘Well I am sorry about that but you should respect your husband. Isn’t it the bible says so. Now it’s time for you to leave.’
‘Vusi, I am really am…’
‘I forgave you and I don’t hold any grudge. I just don’t want you near my house again. Please let it be the last time you come over to my house uninvited. If you want to see me only if its business, you have my secretary’s number. You and I can never be friends Marisa. I want nothing to do with you or your crazy family. With that said, please may you kindly leave my house and never come back,’ I said with a serious look on my face.
She started walking out and stopped.
‘Have you met someone?’
I didn’t respond to her and there was this smile on her face.
‘Just know that you will never be happy with her. I know I still hold a special place in your heart. I know you still love me and once Jay is dead. Then I can come back here and be with you.’Hi peacemaker +2348037873157 to be added you to the platform
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘I am leaving because I am a married woman but I will come back here as a widow and I will take my place as your woman. So whatever fling you have with her, it shouldn’t be that serious right? It should end because you are mine alone. One thing you should know about me Vusi, I am my mother’s daughter. If she can play dirt then what makes you think that none of her children will just be like her. See right through me and you will see what I am really capable of.’
‘Is that a threat?’
‘But why would I threat someone that I have always loved. Vusi, this is not a threat and I am trying to make you see things that you haven’t been able to see for years when you were with me. For you Vusi, I can be the evil doctor. My husband is into politics now and I have seen what he can do to make sure that he is on the top. I can be more powerful than him Vusi. For you, I will make sure that you will never be happy without me. Goodbye Vusi, nooo it’s not like I am going forever because I am going to come back. I will see you soon,’ with that said she walked out of my house leaving me speechless.
That is certainly not the woman that I got married to, that is not Marisa. More than ever I had to protect my unborn child and her mother. I can’t believe that I am about to go to war with my ex-wife. I tried sleeping that night but Marisa’s threats kept on echoing in my head. I finally sat upright on the bed. I had to tell Liam and Pamela about this. I know it was going to hurt her but I have to make sure that I don’t see Chiedza every day. I have to avoid her at all costs because Marisa might hire someone to follow me.. She was no different from her mother. Who was I married to for the past few years