When a man loves
‘Are you okay?’ asks Liam, my best friend as we are sitting in my office.
Its lunch time and my mind is somewhere else.
‘Yes, I am fine.’
‘You haven’t touched your food Vusi. Something is wrong, what is it?’
I get up from my seat and strode over to the window. I stood there with hands in my pocket, watching the flowers that were planted just in front of the building.
‘Vusi,’ Liam calls out and I turn my back to look at him.
I sigh and hands on my head I walk back to my chair. Liam is a very good friend of mine and he has been very supportive lately. He helped me with my business; he is actually a lawyer and my lawyer. I told myself that I will never look for another lawyer when my friend is actually one and a very good one amongst the so called best ones.
‘I don’t know what to do,’ I say with my voice almost getting choked with emotions.
I haven’t been sleeping for days without thinking about my situation. Thinking about my wife, I have been married to for 5 years. What if she was going to leave me? I mean eventually she will get fade up right and leave. I loved Marisa with all of my heart and I wouldn’t want her to leave me. +We have been through a lot together but how far is she going to be holding on to our love. I know we made vows and promises but that is meant to be broken. It is always meant to be broken.
‘Is this about you not being able to give her children?’
‘What else would I be so worried about?’
‘Vusi, who doesn’t know that Marisa is deeply in love with you? I just think that you are overthinking.’
‘Do you think so?’
‘You have been together for 5 years and has she never given you any reason to doubt her? Marisa will never leave, you should chill.’
I don’t know maybe he was right, maybe he was just trying to make me feel better but yet still I was worried about the issue. Marisa loved me and yes she has been with me for years but I was just having a bad feeling. I just felt that she was going to leave me one day. Liam finally left my office and I continued with my work. So Marisa and I we are having dinner with her family. She has 3 sisters who are happily married and they have children of their own. I actually feel bad you know, I feel bad because I am not able to give her any children,
‘It doesn’t matter Vusi, as long as you are here with me, that’s what counts the most and nothing else,’ she would always say to me.
‘Shh Vusi, it’s okay. I am happy with you and we can always adopt,’ she would smile at me.
Marisa has the most beautiful smile you know, I am not bragging about my wife. I am not trying to over compliment her but I am just stating out the truth. We met in a restaurant, I was..well I had gone there to meet Liam and it seems we had booked the same table because she was also there to meet her friend. Liam told me that he can’t make it for our dinner and so I stayed behind enjoying a lovely conversation with such a soft spoken person. I was getting to know her and I left later on when her friend had arrived, she actually took longer than we both anticipated. We got in touch, since I had asked for her phone number. I grew very fond of her and the next thing; I asked her out on a date. We met at the same restaurant and the rest is history.
I smile holding our picture frame which I had placed in my office on my table. I would do anything for this woman, I swear if my situation needed me to go on a operation, I was going to do just that, her happiness counted the most, her beautiful smile and her laugh. I never wanted to see her sad or in tears. I work for a while and finally knock off because I don’t want to be late for the dinner. Marisa will be knocking off early at the hospital, she was a doctor and I can imagine how she felt seeing pregnant women at the hospital. I know I shouldn’t think much about the issue but I can’t help it.
I walk out of my office and it’s around 6pm. It’s just a few minutes’ drive to my house and not everyone at my workplace has knocked off. I got into my car and drive off at home. I have to pass by the flower shop to buy some flowers for my mother-in law. She loves flowers and even though she doesn’t like me that much, I have never stopped loving her. When I finally buy the flowers, I head home straight. I don’t want us to be late and I wouldn’t want to keep Marisa’s mother waiting. The gateman opens the gate for me and I drive inside. I park my car at the garage, we will use a different car to go and see Marisa’s mother.
Trust me when I say that I had everything but then I couldn’t give my wife children, that hurt me a lot and sometimes I felt useless. Useless as a man you know.
‘Babe,’ she says with a bright smile spread across her face when I walk inside the house.
She kisses me and hugs me so tightly.
‘The way I missed you hubby.’
‘I missed you more wifey.’
She lets me go.
‘How was your day?’ she asks as we walk to our bedroom.
‘It was okay. Liam paid me a visit.’
‘He is like your side chick,’ she says and I laugh.
I am just so close with Liam than my elder brother. We are just two in our family and my brother is ever serious. He is the CEO at dad’s company and I started my own. Dad wasn’t okay with the idea but he ended up supporting me, I should go and visit my parents this weekend. It’s been a while. During weekends I have been extremely busy but that shouldn’t stop me from seeing my parents’ right? That’s where the blessings come from.
‘You haven’t bathed?’ I eye her.
‘I was waiting for you.’
I laugh out loud. You know what’s with Marisa? She never bath alone, she always wait up for me which is kind of weird right. Like what will she do when I am out on a business trip, I bet she won’t bath, hilarious.
‘I am serious. You know I can’t bath without you,’ she smiles while helping me with my suit jacket.
‘So we should go and have a bath.’
She pulls my hand and walks with me to the bathroom. Damn, this woman is very beautiful, I am watching her back as she is leading the way and boy her curves. Man I was the luckiest man on this earth. I know many men were eyeing on her but I won her and I feel very much proud of myself. We take a bath and you know what happens in the shower when you are bathing together. When we are done, Marisa goes out first and I finish off. When I follow her later, she is struggling with her bra and I help her out while brushing my lips on her back,
‘Babe,’ she giggles, ‘we are going to be late.’
‘Put on some clothes before i…Marisa you are hot.’
‘What?’ she laughs shyly.
She has selected a suit for me and polished my shoes. You see, Marisa I don’t have to tell her what to do but she does her wife duties without being reminded. She is a doctor and some are lazy, they can’t cook but she is different, she is forever busy when she is not going to work, she is too smart. Anyway she helps me with my tie,
‘You are welcome. Cuff links?’
She walks to my drawer and takes them out. She hands them to me.
‘You are looking beautiful,’ I compliment.
‘Thank you,’ and she is forever smiling.
‘Yes,’ she takes my hand and we walk out of our room.
I am feeling very nervous about the dinner. I mean my mother-in law hates me, my two sister-in laws, they don’t like me and only the older sister likes me. Well it’s like that; Marisa’s mother always tells me that I didn’t deserve to be with her daughter. I guess she had another man in mind for her daughter. I bet she just gave me her blessings because she didn’t want to hurt her daughter. The drive to her mother’s house is quiet. I bet Marisa is thinking about it too. I take her hand and hold it. I kiss it while driving,
‘I love you.’
‘I love you more Vusi,’ she says.
We are finally at her mother’s house and I get out of the car first to open the car door for Marisa. When she is out of the car, I grab the flowers that I had placed at the backseat. We walk in hand in hand and I hope tonight’s atmosphere is going to be different. When the maid opens the door for us, we hear so many laughters. I guess she invited a lot of people.
‘Look who is here,’ says Marisa’s mother as she is getting up.
She walks to us but only hugs her daughter. I am about to greet her when,
‘I have got a surprise for you,’ she says to Marissa, ‘He just went upstairs,’ she says.
‘Who is it?’ asks Marisa.
‘Hie Vusi,’ Marisa’s older sister greets me, the one who likes me.
‘These are f…’
‘Oh he is here,’ says Marisa’s mum ignoring me.
I look up the stairs and there is a man smiling at them.
‘Jay,’ Marisa says in shock, ‘how did you?’
‘Marisa,’ she hugs her in front of me.
I am invisible in that room, Marisa breaks off the hug.
‘When did you come back?’
‘Yesterday,’ he responds still looking at my wife.
‘Oh, sorry Jay this is my husband Vusi and Vusi this is my childhood friend Jay.’
She never told me about her childhood friend.
‘Nice to meet you Vusi,’ he extends his hand and we shake very firmly as he is smiling at me.
‘Well let’s go sit down and have some dinner,’ Marisa’s mother took Jay’s hand as they walk to the table.
‘Thank you for the flowers,’ says Sarah as she takes them.
The other two sisters of Marisa are also in the room. We sit on the table and you know what just happened, Marisa’s mother has made her daughter sit beside Jay and I am in pain. I am trying to let this night pass but I wish I hadn’t come. I hardly touch my food because I don’t seem to be visible in that room. These people are laughing out loud and Jay is the man of the moment.
The whole night, it was all about Jay and how handsome he had become. After we had some dessert, I decided to go outside and have some fresh air. It has been suffocating in the room and I was just feeling so excluded in that house. I removed my phone and started charting with Liam. I actually told him that everything was fine and I was enjoying myself, such big lies right. My mother-in law didn’t even spare me a glance; she pretended or acted as if I wasn’t in the room.
‘Enjoying the cold breeze,’ I heard someone saying and when I looked aside, it was him.
I just smiled and he handed me a glass of champagne.
‘Cool isn’t it?’ he said and I just nodded my head in agreement.
This is the first time that we are about to say something to each other since we were introduced. Honestly I had nothing to say to him, I wish he had stayed inside and not come outside.
‘So you are the man who married my best friend since childhood?’ he asked an obvious question.
‘You don’t sound happy about that,’ I faked a smile.
‘No, I am happy. You are not bad after all.’
I smiled and took a sip.
‘You have been married for 5 years and you don’t have a child? What are you guys waiting for? Ohh my unless you can’t have children.’
I glared at him and this part of me took that as a mocking. He was smiling right and I was completely pissed off.
‘We are not ready,’ I replied, ‘excuse me,’ I said about to leave.
‘What if she is ready but because you can’t give her children, she can’t say it to you.’
I looked back at him. Was Marisa discussing our private life with this guy? With so many questions running through my mind, I chose to be quiet.
‘You know Marisa is a very beautiful woman and she loves kids. Don’t feel bad about it? You are keeping her whilst you can’t give her any children. How long do you think she is going to stay? Eventually one day she is going to leave. Vusi, every woman is always ready to be a mother. It was nice getting to know you, I should say goodbye to Marisa, until we meet again,’ he said tapping my shoulder and walked back inside the house.
I clenched my fist as I watched him leave. After some few minutes I went back inside the house and placed the water glass on the table. It seems one of Marisa’s sisters; the other one who dislikes me had left.
‘Belina, have you seen Marisa?’
‘She walked Jay to his car,’ she said while taking a sip of her wine as she sat on the sofa legs crossed.
I know I couldn’t follow Marisa and so I sat on the other sofa.
‘They have been friends since childhood but lost contact when Jay moved to the state after he lost his parents. He should have been the one who married Marisa. I mean,’ she placed the water glass on the table, ‘you are not a man enough. You can’t even give her any children and you expect her to stay with you. I feel pity for my little sister. I don’t know what she is still seeing in you if you can’t even give her a child. She should just divorce you and marry Jay. I mean we never liked you from the onset but approved this marriage because we didn’t want to disappoint Marisa but she made a huge mistake by saying yes to you,’ she said and her words hurt me so deeply.
I didn’t want to sound disrespectful by replying, that’s why I chose to be quiet.
I hadn’t seen Sarah,
‘Here comes your lawyer. You should stop pretending to love this man. We all know you are faking it big sister. Anyway if you will excuse me, let me say bye to my mother before I leave,’ she got up clicking her tongue at me.
She walked out of the room.
‘You should forgive my sister’s behavior. She had a lot to drink tonight,’ said Sarah taking a seat opposite me.
She was trying to make me feel better but those words that came out of Belina’s mouth, it wasn’t because she was tipsy or drunk but in her normal senses.
‘Are you okay?’ she asked with a hint of concern in her voice.
What if she was actually pretending to like me? What if she also was planning to embarrass me when I least expect it.
‘I don’t hate you Vusi and I understand your situation.’
I raised my brow in question.
‘I can’t have children.’
I widely opened my eyes.
‘With your facial expression, I understand that you must be shocked,’ she said with a smile, ‘You must be asking yourself so many questions. I tried getting pregnant so many times and had 4 miscarriages until I left the country with my husband. He took me to a best hospital in India where I was treated and they told me that I won’t be able to carry a pregnancy up to 9months and it was the 5th pregnancy. I was hurt knowing very well that the baby wasn’t going to make it and he didn’t make it. I thought my husband was going to leave because of that but he was very supportive and we decided to adopt. The child that we adopted, her mother died during birth and there wasn’t any father. My family they don’t know that Sofia is not my daughter. Well they think that I gave birth in Ghana where I had been staying with my husband but that’s not the case. I know how hard it is, I understand your situation and I just want you to know that you shouldn’t lose hope. You never know what will happen. Right now I am pregnant and the funny thing is that, I am already 3 months pregnant. Mostly I would lose the baby at 2 months, I am still praying about it and I want this child to be born. I wanted to have an abortion but my husband stopped me and said that, what if we wait just maybe this time around I will give birth. I was scared and nervous about it but as I told you, I am already 3 months and the doctor said that the baby and I are healthy. They seem to be a high chance that I will succeed. You may never know, maybe it’s just temporary,’ she said with a smile, ‘you are a good man Vusi and I have seen how much you love my little sister. My mother and sisters might hate you but I will never do that. You just need to put everything to God, pray and never give up on prayer. You might think that you have a problem but maybe it’s nothing or maybe it’s not the right time yet. If you need someone to talk to, my door is always opened. You should come over alone for dinner, my husband would love your company and maybe you might take him out for a braai. He is too quiet,’ she laughed and so did i.
‘Thank you very much Sarah. God bless you for your good heart. I will forever cherish your kindness.’
‘Oh please there is no need to thank me, you are part of the family and you deserve some love. Alright I should get going, hubby must be waiting for me at home,’ she said getting up.
I got up too and gave her a hug,
‘Take good care of yourself Sarah and thank you.’
‘You take good care of yourself too. I will see you around.’
‘You are leaving,’ that was Marisa as she walked back inside the house and I was walking out with Sarah.
‘Yes, I miss my husband. Yours is here with you,’ the two hugged.
‘Let me just say bye to mum then we can also leave,’ she said to me.
‘Okay, I will wait for you by the car.’
‘It’s fine. I love you.’
‘I love you too,’ I responded.
I walked out with Sarah and took her to her car. When she drove off, I walked to my car and sat inside waiting for my wife.
ONE WEEK LATER.
‘Marisa, your phone is ringing,’ I called out when she was in the kitchen.
Its weekend and I have decided to stay at home and enjoy some quality time with my wife. I am having popcorns while watching soccer.
‘I am coming,’ she says and her phone ringing is disrupting me from my soccer game.
She comes in the dining room and grabs her phone. She walks back to the kitchen with it and I am busy enjoying the game. So I never asked Marisa about that Jay guy. I just minded my own business. I am sure whatever they shared together is now in the past and we will never include it in the future. I was supposed to meet up with Liam but he called telling me that his Auntie who raised him, wasn’t feeling well. He had to take care of her at the hospital; I was going to see him later during the day. I am so busy focused on the television when Marisa calls out my name and says she needs my help in the kitchen.Hi peacemaker +2348037873157 to be added you to the platform
I get up and head there.
‘Babe, what’s with so many foods?’
‘We are having visitors.’
‘You didn’t tell me about that. Who is it?’
She was about to respond when the doorbell rang.
‘That must be them,’ she says and walks out of the kitchen.
I am still in the kitchen wondering whom she invited over to our house. She never told me about any visitors.
‘He is in the kitchen. Vusi!’
I walk out of the kitchen and guess who it is, in the company of some lady. Jay! My mood completely changed from happiness to annoyment. What was this fool doing in my house?
‘Vusi, my man,’ he says and hugs me, ‘it’s lovely to see you again,’ he whispers in my ear, ‘this is my girlfriend Jessica,’ he introduces and I just smile.
‘I am happy you are here to enjoy the weekend with us,’ says Marisa, ‘this way please,’ she says leading the way.
Jay looks at me and winks.