water strike episode 8 & 9

?Water Strike?
?.(Crazy compound)?

Genre: Drama (Comedy)
Setting: Lagos, Nigeria

Tags: comedy, R0m-nce??

By: Vickie Dora ✍️

Episode 8

(Peninsula)

(Landlady and her daughter were busy picking beans which they planned to eat for dinner)
Landlady: ehenn, bola

Bola: yes maami( Mother)

Landlady: What did you say that segun do ( she asked, scratching her armpit)

Bola: Haa, maami, segun was the one that took your water oo. He now pretend like he is not the one

Landlady: Heeiinnn, really!!!! Segun,, omokomo yen (that’s useless child)

Bola: yes na. I overheard him saying that he is very strong, he is an Oshogbo boy, that your power can not affect him. He even said that, he will continue to steal your water, that you cannot do anything to him

Landlany: haaaa, ewoooo. So that segun has mouth like that, and I think it is Big prof that took that water

Bola: nooo, it’s not Big Prof ooo. It is that segun, he even say that you cannot not use your juju (charm) to take his peninsula (Pen*s)
Landlady: haa, that segun is daring me. He did not know that me too, I am an Oshogbo woman. My own Oshogbo power is stronger than his own. Ko ti mo nkonkno (he does not know anything)

Bola: yes o maami…I want you to teach him a lesson, so that he will not mess with you again…he is so proud and stubborn

Landlady: Ahnahan, don’t you trust me….that peninsula that he is using to gbense girls, he will not see it use again….i will remove it and give it to Bingo for breakfast

Bola: sure thing maami, I trust you

Landlady: Don’t worry my daughter, just watch and see. I will show him that I am the real Oshogbo woman, born and breed…( She hissed, as they continued their work)
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*The Next Day*

(Segun in the bathroom, bathing)

Segun: (Singing hearthedly) Wo ni won wa mi, wo ni won wa mi..i’m in lagos I’m working. Wo ni won wa mi, wo ni won wa mi. I’m in the bathroom I’m baffing. Hey…this water cold oo, kilode (what is it)

Douglas: Bros, w£tin na…baff fast and get out joor…we are late for lecture oo

Emeka: no he should continue to sing there…Mtcheeewww (he hissed folding his arm)

James: (Coming towards the bathroom, tying a towel round his wai-st..holding a bucket of water) hanaha, una never baff, w£tin happen na

Emeka: Segun is busy singing in the bathroom, he doesn’t wanna bath fast

James: Which kain thing be that naa, segun!!! Segun!! (he called ban-ging the door)

Segun: Who be that na, do you want to break the door…oga landlord will not take it easy with you oo

James: bros,,comot for there joor, other people wan baff na

Segun:Mtchheewww( He hissed, and continued with his singing) Wo ni won wa mi, wo ni won wa mi..i’m in lagos I’m working. Wo ni won wa mi, wo ni won wa ahhhhhh,,,yeee yeeeee jesus jesus (he screamed)

Douglas: What is it,,,,why are you shouting like that

Segun: (Running out of the bathroom, holding the towel to his wai-st) haaaaa, nnkan ti sele, something has happened oooooo
Emeka: Talk na

Segun: yee, egbami…it is gone ooo…It is gone

James: Talk na…what is gone

Segun: (Folding his towel) My pe..ni..su..la!!!!

Douglas: haaa, yeee paripaa!!!!!

James: Jesus Christ of Nazareth!!!!

Emeka: Wa…..it..wait…what peninsula…I mean..whats is he saying

Douglas: Haaa, so you don’t know the meaning
Emeka: No I don’t (Douglas whispered into his ear) haaaa, what!!!! But how did it go, I mean…did it just leave like that

Segun: (Already crying) yes…yes…ooo..the thing just go like that oo…as I was bathing..i am now singing….then I put my hand in that place so that I can wash it….but I did not see anything there..the thing just disappear…feeuu mmmm

James: haaa…segun…your village people have succeeded over your life

Segun: Haaaa( putting his hands on his head)
Douglas: Which village people….abi its those girls that he use to gbense(Fu-ck) without giving them money

Segun: Haaa yess ooo, maybe it funke

James: Which funke…abi its chidinma

Douglas: No no, chidinma cannot do something like that oo, that girl is a good girl…you did not even talk about Felicia, walia…that girl na witch..she might be the one that took your peninsula ooo

Segun: yess oooo you are right( still sobbing)
James: so its better we go to her house now and beg her…so that she can give it back to you

Segun: Ok ok lets go lets go (they were about moving when emeka stopped them)
Emeka: Wait guys I think I know who is behind this

Douglas: Which person..talk if you know…because that girl will be the real culprit
Segun: Let us go fast na

Emeka: Wait first and hear me out…I think its landlady…remember that you stole her water and she promised to deal with that person
Douglas: Ewwoooo, you are right

Segun: Chinekeme!!!!! Oya lets go and beg her….she is the one ooooo

(They all hurried to landlady’s courtyard and met her weaving her daughter’s hair. They all knelt down before her)

Landlady: Ehnnn w£tin happen, how can I help you as-spole

Bola: maami…it is as-s-hole

Landlady: owkay…I mean as-s-holes

James: haa landlady please, rele-ase my friend kini…it is very important to him

Landlady: Which thing…did I take anything from you…heeii…answer me (She said staring at segun, who gulps down his saliva)

Segun: Ermmmm landlady, you…you took my peninsula

Bola: heeenn, you peni.. w£tin

Douglas: his peninsula, cant you hear him…please landlady, realease it to him abeg
Landlady: haaa, that one (Scratching her hair) I have given it to bingo…

The four boys:” Haaaaaaaaa!!!!!!bingo!!!!!

Landlady: yes na….

Segun: haaaa..landlady please I beg you in the name of the gid you serve,,please rele-ase it
Landlady: nooo…I cant rele-ase it ooo, when you were stealing the water you did not know abi..i thought you said that you are an Oshogbo boy..oya na…show me your power..idiot
Segun: haaa…I repent…I admit the fact that you are powerful landlady, please……give it back to me..please

Emeka: ermmmm hunhun (he clears his throat) Landlady, I know tat you are a good woman…and I believe that segun hre has learnt from his mistakes..please on my behalf being a new tenant in this compound..please give him back his peninsula

Bola: (winking at emeka, she drags her mums wrapper) Ermm ehhenn,,maami

Landlady: Yesss my child

Bola: I think we shouls listen to this boy here…he is different from the rest (She said, and earn dangerous glares from the boys)

Landlady: So you are saying that I should return his kini…

Bola: yes maami

Landlady: hmmm…okay..my daughter has spoken

Segun: haa thank you ma

Landlady: heei..before you beg me….it will be on one condition

The boys: Tell us ma….tell us

Ladylady: (clears her throat) You will have to pay a fine

Douglas: haa which fine again oooo

Landlady: you will pay a sum of 10 thousand naira
Bola: haaa maami!!!!!

Landlady: What is it…do you know how much I spent to do that charm

Segun: Landlady abeg,,,please I will not do that again…I will not steal again…I promise you

Bola: (whispering into her mum’s ear) oya…just do it naaa

Landlady: (Looking at her daughter) Are you sure…are you sure..
Bola: yes maami

Landlady: Hhmmmm, okay na…segun the stupid boy…take your peninsula….( She waved her hands in the air, and it immediately appeared un-der his towel

Segun: haaa haaaa haaa

James: what is it…..

Douglas: what!!!

Segun: It has come back….it has come back ooo., thank you landlady

Emeka: Landlady, thank you ooooo
Bola: I am the one you should thank ooo…if I did not erm

Landlady: Gbe enu e sohun (shut up)
(The boys hurriedly ran to their room, excitedly)
Emeka: are you sure it is back

Segun: yues ooooo yes yes…haa. I was already thinking I wont be able to gbense those girls again…but thank God sha…I am back

James: hmmm you better be careful, those girls might not return it if they take it ooo

Douglas: ermm emeka…I noticed some chemistry between you and that bola,,,hope no problem

Emeka: w…aiit..wait..which chemistry????

????
Laugh no go kill me…….
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?Water Strike?
?.(Crazy compound)?

Genre: Drama (Comedy)
Setting: Lagos, Nigeria

Tags: comedy, R0m-nce??

By: Vickie Dora ✍️

(My mate)

Episode 9

Few Days Later**

(Emeka dressed up looking smart, he was about going for lectures that afternoon, when he came in contact with bola. The rest guys were already in school, having their afternoon lectures)

Bola: Fine bobo….erm..what is that your name again..pleased wait(She hurried up to meet up with him)

Emeka: Erm,,please be fast with what you want to say, cos I’m late for lectures

Bola: hanhah, can’t you wait for a fine girl like me to finish what I want to say ehhnn( She smiled twirling round for him to see)

Emeka: I beg your pardon, what do you mean (he frown)

Bola: well, what I meant was that…haven’t you been noticing the eyes I have been giving you since ehnn

Emeka: heheehie, just shut up there, which eyes is that one…ehn..you this small girl. Instead of you to be in the kitchen helping your mum, you are here toasting a guy, what has come over you

Bola: Oboy leave that thing…I am not a small girl oo. I’m 18 years already

Emeka: 20 years with no sense, Bola, please I have lectures to attend, leave my way
Bola: Nooo, I will not leave here (she folded her arms on her bre@st)

Emeka: What do you mean, do you want me to kick you out of my way…what’s all this now..ok what do you want

Bola: Ehnhen, now you are talking…ok..i want you to ki-ss me (she smiled)
Emeka: Haaaaaa

Baby Sussi: (Coming out from her hiding place where she has been listening to their conversation) haaa, Bola….bola…you are a witch….

Bola: heei,. Who call you to this matter..w£tin you dey find

Emeka: (still in shock) What sort of human being are you, you want me to sell my expensive ki-ss to you, are you daft

Baby Sussi: Ask erm ooo., hmmm if you love yourself don’t follow this Bola ooo, bola is a witch oooo, like her mama

Bola: ahhh, Baby sussi, you…call me witch…okay na…we shall see the real witch…ashawo( prostitute) (she cursed and went her way)

Emeka: Wonders shall never end in this compound

Baby Sussi: Yess oo my brother…..don’t mind her jare…it’s all the fine fine boys in this compound that she want to take, you will not be among her list ooo..lielie

Emeka: hmm, I’m late for lectures already, let me run along, bye….(he muttered and left. She kept on staring at him till he exit the compound)

Baby Sussi: Hmmm, that boy is fine oo, haa, imagine..no pimples. Ehn….and that stupid bola want to use her charm to catch him…when a whole Baby Sussi like me is here….any way we shall see
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*IN THE EVENING*

(The boys arrive from lecture clas-ses, laughing and gisting over what happened between the lecturer and a student, as they stride into the compound. Baby Sussi, alighted from a motorcycle and joined them in their chat)

Douglas: (Holding her shoulder) Baby Sussi baby sussi, ahnahn, so you get money to enter bike, you con leave your guys to dey trek un-der this sun

Baby Sussi: Which kain money be dat one. Woo I no have money ooo, it is the okada man that just help me jare

Segun: Oh e be like say I know that guy, Baby sussi?
Baby Sussi: Ehn?

Segun: Is that guy not your customer

Baby Sussi: Which customer, that yeye guy..mtcheewwww, shinshin like this e no get that one is not my customer oo

James: But he sha carry you for free, he did not collect money from you. So it means that the guy definitely likes you

Baby Sussi: (Laughs sarcastically)Hennn, God forbid…even if he loves me…I no go gree ooo

James: (Smiling sheepily ) Why, if I may ask
Baby Sussi: (blus-hing) Well, because I have saw one fine bobo like that, and I like him

Douglas: Heeiii at last oo, baby sussi has seen the bone of her bone

Segun: Abi oo,,…

James: So who is this lucky guy naww, the guy that stole your precious heart

Baby Sussi: (Still blus-hing) Haa, he is a fine bobo oo, is just that one stupid girl want to take him away from me (She frown)

James& douglas: Eyaaaaa

(Emeka kept on walking to the front, not interested in the chit chat they were having. He sighted bola running from her father’s apartment towards them. He was about giving way for her to pas-s, when she suddenly hu-gs him ti-ght not letting go. This made Baby Sussi furious as she landed an heavy slap across Bola’s face)

Emeka: What’s all this for Christ sake

Baby Sussi: Useless girl, instead of you to go to that garage and find small small boys like your mate, you dey come hu-g this fine bobo…stupid fool (She yelled, as bola landed her a hot slap) yeeehheyee, bola…you slap me…haaa…bola you are death…you are death ooo

Segun: Wait o, which death…is bola death
James: (Referring to segun, who was laughing at Baby Sussi’s English) Guy stop that joke, lets settle this girls

Douglas: Bola, what is it now, leave emeka alone naww

Bola: No, I will not leave him alone oo, he is my mate, and this stupid Baby sussi want to steal him from me…I will not gree oo
James, Douglas & Segun: Mate???
James: Wait a sec Emeka, what is she talking about

Emeka: Guy help me here oo, I don’t know…I swear…this girl is something else..tell her to let go of me (He said, trying to free his hand off her grip. Baby Sussi also came and hold his other hand, as they drag him to themselves)

Baby Sussi: haaa, Emeka, you are mine oo, don’t mind this bola ooo (she said, still pulling him towards herself)
Emeka: ok fine, fine, please leave me alone you girl, please!!!

Bola: You are not going anywhere, until you choose between the both of us. Tell me Emeka, who is more beautiful among the both of us…ehn..this Baby sussi that look like a pig

Baby Sussi: Haaa, me..pig…with all this things that I carry. Look at my backyard, can’t you see my frontage..everything dey there, set and soft..not like this panla fish that has only bone in her bumbum, flat nash

Bola: Shut up joor, simple english you cannot speak…and you are a university student oo

Baby Sussi: Haaa bola, you have pas-s your boundary oo, you have pas-s it oo. Who tell you sey I no sabi English..me that is a professional in english…you speak English reach me?? ehn, you that use to talk cut and nail…Emeka, I am, the best…even God has ordain the both of us to be husband and wife

Emeka: (Angrily pulling off his hand) God forbid, it is not the God I serve that ordain it ooo, thun-der fire the both of you

(He yelled at them and hurriedly went into his room. The other guys couldn’t control their laughter, instead of them helping to resolve the issue, they were busy laughing, as they headed to the room, leaving Baby Sussi and Bola to rain curses on each other, as a fight begins with Baby Sussi knocking Bola to the ground, je-rking off her hair)

Baby Sussi: Haa Bola, you don die today…I go show you say I be calabar girl (She Gr0-n, sending pouches to bola’s face who screamed for help)

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Emeka is in trouble ??.
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TBC..