?Water Strike?
?.(Crazy compound)?
Genre: Drama (Comedy)
Setting: Lagos, Nigeria
Tags: comedy, R0m-nce??
By: Vickie Dora ✍️
Episode 18
(The plan)
( Thinking de-eply as she soliloquize to herself)
Landlady: haaa…so..jamiu can be this wicked ehnn…upon everything that I did for him…he still Cary em Nash go meet another woman…hmmmm…hiiee…just because I could not give him a son….ehnnn but is it not what he put there that I will bring out ehnn..
Anyways…I will see as that mama Kingsley or whatever she calls herself will come and stay in this house with me….stupid woman. She leave all the men in her hometown and come to my own village to steal my husband…oloshi…. mtchewwwww( she hissed loudly, tapping her feet on the ground. She heard a voice outside the house, the person seem to be greeting…Getting up sluggishly from the bed, she went out to find who the fellow is)
Susan: ( Already getting annoyed) haa…good morning oo..who is in this house…( She yelled, checking around)
Landlady: And who is that person that is shouting like that….who is that…( Pause abruptly on sighting Susan) ha ha …yeee…you..you…so you even have the guts to come here ehnnn
Susan: ( scoffs loudly) And so??? I mean…this is the house of my husband to be…so why are you making a scene out if it…I have Every right to come here
Landlady: ( laughs Mockingly) oh…so you are now speaking English for me ABI….you this useless woman…you did not see any other man outside to marry..it’s my one and only jamiu that your eyes enter…haaa…my jamiu ( she sobs)
Susan: ( hissed) where were you when your husband was ban-ging me…and whereas I never knew he was having a wife…until the day I found out that I was pregnant…that was when he told me that you are his wife and not the sister he has been claiming you to be…..but that’s none of my business anyway…just pave way for me…I nee-d to go in…pity a pregnant woman..I can’t be standing here like this for long…
Landlady: Pave which way….which way….where do you think you are going…..egbami ooo, e ma gbo eleyi…..who you be…e be like dey you wan make I reset your br@in ( she flared, losing and re- tying her wrapper
Susan: Moji Moji Moji…hmmm how many times did I call you..don’t provoke me oo…I’m warning you…oga landlord said I should come here and wait for him…so just leave let me pas-s( she snapped, trying to push of landlady, who landed her a resounding slap…)
Susan: yeeeeeee……haa…Moji…you slap me…you slap me
Landlady: And I will slap you again if you don’t learn how to keep your mouth shut..ehn you even called me by my name…stupid woman… if your name is Susan..pas-s the dorrpoat and enter..
Susan: ( dropping her bag on the ground) I will tell you that my name is Susan and I am from the East…the akpu I eat is not just for fun…heeiee…hmmm..I will show you akpu power…( She threw off her scarf on the floor)
Landlady: oh..you think sey you are the one that Sabi food ABI…me ehnnn..I go show you Amala power…Amala and obe ewedu….you go just dey draw like this for ground….you just come closer…come na …haa..come ( gesturing to Susan as she told her fist…in a set position ready to throw the first blow…)
Susan: ( ru-bs sand on her palms and blow air into it, she fold her fist and ran towards landlady..giving her a knock down)
Landlady:( sreams) yeeeeeee……. Help me oo..haa Susan…you get iron for hand ABI…don’t worry…don’t worry…I will beat you today..I will…haaahhaaa….I will..yeeeii..me..haaa.
Susan: ( sitting in top of her, as she sends blows across her face…packing and into her mouth) you think….haaarghh..you think you are strong ABI….I will show you today…..ekwensu ( devil)
Landlady: egbami ooo..help me from this witch…this stupid woman…Ara adugbo….egbami ooo
The tenants started coming out form there rooms as they gather round the scene…some children where laughing while their mothers chased them away. The guys were not left out, they left their room to view the scene)
Segun: Ahannahnn….stop this naa….yeeyee…won ti gba mi Lori ooo( they have knocked my head oo)
Emeka: w£tin you go find for there before…let James come..he is the only one that can settle them…I’m not ready to die yet
Douglas: mtchewww…I’m even enjoying the show…haa…oya landlady give erm blow..oya give erm…haahaa..this other woman is strong oo..see muscle…hmm..emeka..the way I’m seeing things it seems like this woman is form your side oo…heeii..Akpu…
James:( coming towards the scene with oga landlord trailing behind) what’s all this
Emeka: A wrestling game is going on
James: Wrestling kwa..
Landlord: haa haaa…what’s all this…ehnnn…what is going on here ( Going to separate the women)
Landlady: ( hissed) husband snatcher…welcome back my husband ( she greeted, with hands on her wai-st akimbo)
Susan: ( Dusting the sand off her body) welcome…my husband to be…
Douglas: haaa…wait….did I just just hear husband to be…as in…hus..
Landlord: gbe enu e soun joor( he snarled at Douglas…who keeps his mouth shut ) oya everybody…back to your tent…go back jare ( he yelled at them as they all drags their feet off to their rooms.) ( Facing the two women) We nee-d to talk….let’s go inside….
**************
( Bola could be seen in her usual sneaking point with Kingsley)
Bola: hmmm…im really confused now oo…I do t know what for into my father oo ( she just finish explaining what her father told them some days ago)
Kingsley:( sighs and ru-bs his temple) Mum told me about it too…I couldn’t even believe it…
Bola: if they succeeded in getting married, we won’t work.oo..hmm..lets not let that happen.. because we will automatically become siblings..and I love you too much to be your sister..
Kingsley: ( he shrug) well that’s their business anyway…as long as we love each other…we can still work…( He goes close to her and peck her li-ps sm-irking)
Bola: ( pushing him off a little) ooohhooo..kingsley( she whines) we are talking about an important issue here and you are being R0m-ntic…stop this naaa..let’s find a way to stop this their marriage of a thing….
Kingsley: hmm..you are right…but can’t that wait..I’m feeling hor-ny right now…
Bola: no…let’s find a way first
Kingsley: ok…fine…I have an idea….
Bola: what…
Kingsley: what if we plan and you know….kidnap your dad….
Bola: kidnap..my dad…haaa..why…how…
Kingsley: wait now..let me finish first…..what if we kidnap him…and then keep him in a safe place. Then we send a message to your mum and my mum stating that he is dead…my mum will have no choice but to leave and after a few months we will rele-ase him…but that is after we get hooked…and when he comes back…he won’t be able to marry my mum any longer…..it will feelike he is marrying his son in law mother…
Bola: ( thinks de-eply) well you are right oo..but how are we gonna do it…I’m scared oo..what if we get caught…..what if…
Kingsley: Enough of that… every thing will be fine…trust me….I have made my plans okay…( He whispered)
Bola: ( nodding) ok…if you say so…I trust you my sweetheart…( She smiled and placed a ki-ss on his li-ps which he reciprocated…they make out for a while before calling it a day… )
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?Water Strike?
?.(Crazy compound)?
Genre: Drama (Comedy)
Setting: Lagos, Nigeria
Tags: comedy, R0m-nce??
By: Vickie Dora ✍️
Episode 19
(f*¢k up)
(In the guy’s room, Douglas barged into the room pa-nting heavily as the guys wondered what was chasing him)
Segun: what is it na…why are you running like this…
Doughlas: (Breathes out loudly) haaa…I saw that wicked lecturer, what is that his name again oo….ermmm
James: is it Mr Benson…
Doughlas: y….ee…ss, yes yes, Mr. Benson…I saw him talking with Oga landlord, only God knows what are discussing. I quickly sighted him from afar backing my direction. I quickly ran throu-gha bent corner into the compound, if not he would have seen me. I don’t want that useless man to know where I’m living jare
Segun: so…??? What is he sees you, is it bad for your lecturer to know where you stay
James: Ask em ooo
Douglas: (scoffs) ha…that one…wooo…noo, I can’t ooo. What if I do any bad thing in scool now, they will not have any problem finding me if they know my house. And apart from that, I told him that I live in my personal house, you knolw na…how we use to form big boy in school…I just want him to know that me sef…I dey there….so if he sees me here now, he might ask me what im doing in this environment, and that useless Oga landlord will not let me land before he will spit everything to him.
Segun: (laughs ha-rd) sure thing guy…you know your landlord naa….he will just say it like this (Mimicking Oga Landlord) Haaa…you no know this one……he is my tenant…na my house e dey stay…him and those his olori buruku friends…(laughs again, as James chuckled and checked the time)
James: geez, it 5;00pm already and I’m damn starving
Douglas: (Surprised) hanahhan, I thought Emeka went to buy some food..where is he naa…is he not back
Segun: he is the one we have been waiting for since ooo, my worms are so angry right now
(Immediately, Emeka enters. His breathing was a bit high out of tiredness…he drop the bag containing food and slum on the bed, as the guys watch him with gape)
Segun: guy…w£tin happen naa….you no see food buy…
Emeka: (Yawns) I bought the food…I’m just stressed out jare…I couldn’t get the food from the close by kiosk. I had to go to the food restaurant across the road, to the other side
James: Eyyaaaa, sorry you hear…..aje bu-tter…
Emeka: (hissed) mtcheeww…are you whinning me now
Douglas: (mockingly) Nooo…he is cokeing you…woo bring my own share of the food
*****************
Emeka: And that was what I saw ooo..(he just finish telling them about Bola and Kingsley who he found in an uncompleted building, making out)
Douglas: Heeeeiii…wait oo…its seems I know that boy ooo
James: is it not kingsley….
Segun: That ibo guy….that…erm
Emeka: No nee-d for explanation., we all know kingsley…so why the explanations…
Segun: Abeg shut up there…if you no wan hear…cover your ear
Emeak: (rolls his eyes) whatever
James: Hmmm…bola….bola…
Douglas: that small girl…imagine…
Emeka: which small girl…she is 20 for Christ sake
Segun: how do you know…..
Emeka: she told me herself…so????
Douglas: wait oo emeka,, this one that you are defending Bola like this…hope no string attach
Emeka: W…ha..t…what do you mean
James: woo, don’t mind him jare…..douglas just want to get on your nerves
Emeka: or does he have a sp-ot for her too
Douglas: (Stands up with for-ce and he snaps his fingers) God forbid…..hnn…me…and omo Oga landlord (Oga landlord’s child) no….i cant even near there at all
James: But come to think of it, Oga landlord want to marry his mother naa…so why are they still doing romoe and Juliet
Emeka: woo, that one is their business..i want to read abeg (He drew out a book from his bag)
Segun: Mtcheewww( he hissed) they don use reading do you…you can read for Africa..everyday is reading
Emeka: And that’s why I pas-s every time, thank you…mi..s.ter
**************
Oga Landlord Apartment***
Landlord: so…as I was saying…I’m travelling tomorrow…we have a certain meeting at the landlord’s organization headquater…and Chairman has chosen me to represent him there….so..i will go with the others…
Landlady: Hmmm (she breathed out) okay…oo….where are they doing the meeting
Landlord: (clears his throat) At Abeokuta
Landlady: Haaaa, Ogun state far far
Bola: Maami..it’s not that far na…Ogun state is close to Lagos here, it’s a neighboring sate
Landlady: neighbor or no neighbor…its sha far..haa (She frowns and twisted her face)
Landlord: so are you saying that I should not go……ehnn iya Bola….
Landlady: ohh, so I’m now Iya Bola now abi…what about the sweet sweet names you use to call me…oh I forgot…that witch husband snatcher has taken that place abi…
Landlord: I won’t tolerate this insult from you ooo Moji…that meeting alone will fetch me a lot of money and I will use it to pay the bride price of my new wife….and that’s final.. (He snapped and walks away, leaving mother and daughter to their fate)
Landlady: Hmmmmm, so susan has finally taken my husband..haa..(starts to sob) she has taken him away from me ooo
Bola: (Tries to pet her) Maami, stop crying naaa…it’s ok…all will be well
Landlady: 9shakes her head) no..all is not well ooo….well we shall see……(She stood up and leaves)
Bola: Hmmmm, I really nee-d to see kingsley
**********
Bola: (Speaking to kingleys, at their agrred joint) Hmmm dear, I think I have a good news oo
Kingsley: (Grinning) share it with me darling
Bola: Well my dad will be travelling for a meeting tomorrow…and I believe he will stay up to one month over there…
Kingsley: (Furrowed his brow) So????
Bola: Don’t you get my point, lets get married immediately in between that break…so that when he comes back…he would have no choice but stop the marriage between him and your mother
Kingsley: (Frowns a little as he tried removing his hand from her grip) nooo naaa
Bola: What??
Kingsley: you know that I cant possibly get all the materials for your bride price in a month…and whereas,. Your dad must be there when I pay it…
Bola: (Sighs disappointedly) yea..you are right…I didn’t think about that earlier
Kingsley: But there is still a way
Bola: Which way
Kingsley: Kidnapping him of course
Bola: (Frowns) noo…haa kingsley…wont that be too much…I don’t think I want to be part of this oo (she folded her arms, and turns her face away from him)
Kingsley: (smiles and caress her cheek) Babe….i promise you..we will do a clean job..trust me..your dad will be fine..infact he won’t have any scratch, okay
Bola: (Grumbles a little)
Kingsley: (Pouted) please believe me this once
Bola: ( A bit sad) okay ooo…but be careful oo
Kingsley: I will, oya smile for me naaa
Bola: (Smiles shyly, and hu-gs him) I love you
Kingsley: Love you too baby….( he grins, while she blus-h)
***********
THE NEXT DAY**
(Sitting on a his bed in his room, Kingsley receives a call from one of his agent)
Kingsley: Hello…hello…Tunde….how e take go na
Tunde: (from the other line) haaa…matter don pemme oooo
Kingsley: I no get you, w£tin happen(he stood up from the bed and pace round the room)
Tunde: haaa…we no see the man now…we wait wait wait ooo…e no pas-s this place oo
Kingsley: what do you mean,..that route is were oga landlord usually pas-s now….his daughter told me herself
Tunde: haa…na em we dey settle for here oo…we sef no un-derstand oo
(Immediately, another call entered)
Kingsley: hold on, let me pick this call (he picks the call Hello…shaggy….
Shaggi: haaa bros…..i don do erm oooo
Kingsley: which mesasage heeiiii..jesus
Shaggi: hahnnan, the message naa..i don give Landlady the letter wey say her husband don die. Your mama even dey there sef…all of them don start to dey cry..
Kingsley: jesusss…shaggy are you daft,,,,are you ok…(He snapped)
Shaggi: ha..me I no deaf ooo..and I okay very well
Kingsley: You are mad…you and your family…whcik kain brian you carry…I told you to give it to her the following day..not today
Shaggi: you no explain em well na…if to say you say, give it to her tomorrow I for know…but thatr following, no clear ooo…wooo alaye…na my money remain oo, I dey for that garage, come pay me make I dey go my house ooo
Kingsley: f*¢k your as-s-hole,,,,damn….(He yelled and cuts the call) Oh my God, what am I gonaa do now ehnn…what if oga landlord decide to come back before the end of the month.,…heeiii…this guys are foolish oo…..heiii
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TBC..