water strike episode 14 & 15

?Water Strike?
?.(Crazy compound)?

Genre: Drama (Comedy)
Setting: Lagos, Nigeria

Tags: comedy, R0m-nce??

By: Vickie Dora ✍️

Episode 14
Sunday morning**
James: oya oya let’s be fast…I don’t want to go late to church oo..you guys should dress fast na ( he yelled checking his wrist watch)

Emeka: I’m done already, just remains those two. They are two slow… especially segun

James: Only God will deliver them…we are going to oag landlord’s church today… remember that he invited us for a program

Emeka: ( nodded) oh yes …but what’s the program all about na…hope it’s not one program that will delay us oo

James: I don’t really know Sha….but I think it is child dedication…I overheard iya sade talking about it..

Emeka: hmm this one that you agree to God to oga landlord church Sha…I thought you hate his church

James: I have not been there before…I just don’t like the way he does things…so I believe it to be his churchy character..but the man reason why I’m going there is because of the food they will share….you know na

Emeka: haaaa…it’s true ooo..they use to share food during dedication

Douglas: ( rushing into the room) Are you guys set…emeka, what of the poly bag?
Emeka: which poly bag

Douglas: Don’t you know that we are going for dedication, do you want their remaining food to waste

Emeka: And how did you know that their food will remain

Douglas: woo forget about that one jare….all I know is that we must come back home with a lot of food…we will tell them that oga landlord invited us…so they will entertain us well…you know that he is an elder in his church..so they will surely honour his invitees

Emeka: ( grumbling inaudibly) well don’t like that kind of thing tho, it will make us look like we came there for the food

James: what are we going there for in the first place..is it not for the food..
Emeka: henn I know but….

James:( handling him the bag) no buts….take this poly bag….squee-zeit inside your Bible or pocket…oya let’s go

Emeka: what about segun
Douglas: that one want to give birth in the bathroom

James: leave him….he will meet us in the church..
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( On getting to the church…they met the pastor leading fervent prayers, the hot and loud sound coming from the speakers could perhaps shake the bott-om of lucifer. Even the choir ministers were not left out, the were putting on baggy gowns like people going for a witch meeting, singing like pregants elephant.

One could go deaf immediately, hearing the unrhythmic sounds coming out from the keyboard….but hunger didn’t stop the guys from retreating to their normal church…they decided to go further into the church…like responsible people)

Emeka: wait a minute…is this a church..or a carnival shrine ( he muttered in disgust)
Douglas: this one pas-s shrine ooo, wait wait …no be that woman dey say e be winch…w£tin e dey find for choir ( he pointed to a certain woman among the choir members)

James: ( hitting his hand down) stop pointing at someone, can’t you see that the pastor is staring at us…

Pastor: ( Glaring ha-rd at them, as they took their respective seat…not minding the prayer section) you!!!!!! You that boy…with chain

Douglas: ( looks at his back…around..and back to the pastor) wait who that man dey follow talk
James: go outside na…he is talking to you

Douglas: ehnn….this one that is staring at me like he want to devour me…this their pastor sef ehnnn….ah…make I no talk ( he muttered and move to the front, as all eyes fell on him)

Pastor: ( speaks in a different tongue) my brother…..the devil is by your side

Douglas: ( staring around) ahn but I can’t see it
Pastor: yessss…yesss because you don’t have a spiritual eyes….you are so occu-pied with so many things…

Douglas: hmmm ok like what

Pastor: hmmmm ( speaks in tongue) game and women…I can see it in you…the last girl you slept with has taken away your destiny…
Douglas: ewwooooo….rose… what else

Pastor: she has made you her slave…..you nee-d to be delivered….guys e mu egba yen wa( guys bring me that cane)

Douglas: wait wait….what is that cane for
Pastor: I want to deliver you from that bondage….I will tell the prayer band to flog it out of you

Emeka: wait are they for real…..are we gonna stay here and watch them flog him…I thought we are here for food

Segun: let’s wait and see…..

( Staring at the prayer band, he sighted iya sade… landlady..and even landlord was among them, holding the pankere Cane firmly ready to strike)

Douglas: haaa…witches in prayer band…
.( Facing the pastor) haaa..pastor..dont worry I like the bondage….don’t deliver me

Pastor: noo you cannot enter my church and go back the same way….even your friends are not omitted……guys go and catch them…bring them..here

( Five hefty men…want further and grap the three…they were brou-ght forward… struggling to free their grip but the men were far more stronger

Segun; oga landlord…heeii..oga landlord..don’t flog me…ahnahn..kini gbogbo eleyi naa( what’s all this) I will scatter this church ooooo…leave me alone

Pastor: that is the evil spirit speaking… Oya flog it out of him

Landlady: haaa..this segun…hmm..e possess well well o, I will handle him….gbe some joor…je kin noor daadaa..( raise him up..let me flogz him well)

Segun: what’s all this naa…James…I thought you said…haaaaaahhhaaa… landlady..has.haa.yeee..yeew

Pastor: flog them very well…we cast out you demons…we cast out you spirits

Douglas: haaa…pastor . God go punish your mama….God punish you….which demon…ABI na you be the demon

Emeka: you people should leave me alone oo…..what sort of prayer band is this one na…na cane they dey use deliver person…
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Few minutes later…the guys crawled to their seat…they weren’t allowed to go out until the service finish….after the main service..the child dedication started and everyone of them were eagarly waiting for when it will end……

Time of the food to be shared***

The severs purposely ignored the guys and went to give other people food…they pas-sed them like they were invisible… Douglas was provoked and almost stopped one but was restricted by James

Douglas: what is it naa..after all the floggings we received..won’t they na give us food

James: just be patient…let’s see how this end
After they all finished serving..they got none..oga landlord came to meet them smiling in his agbada attire

Landlord: ahhhahha…my honourable tenants…the Lord is good.i believe you are all delivered from the demonic demons… You know na

Segun: ( frowning angrily…he felt like strangling him) mtchewwwwwq…yes we are delivered ….but where is our food

Douglas: yess..where is it…we can’t just receive that beating ,for nothing

Landlord: shut up..we don’t call it beatings…we call it deliverance by for-ce…anyway….let me see if there is still food….ermmm. Seyi….seyi …oooo…get this guy’s here that food ( he winks at her..and she immediately got his point)

Seyi: ok my elder…( She bow and left)
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On getting home…the boys hurriedly pull off their clothes ready to devour the food..they were given only one take away..which is ba-rely enough for them…but they had no choice but to leave with it

James: hmmmm oga landlord has really stepped on out toes..

Douglas: mtchewww..are you just knowing…I’m ready for him this time…

Emeka: I can’t stop believe this

Segun: well as for me…hmm…I wi twac him a Lesson he will never forget in his life…it will be among the history of this compound…. especially that his wife

James: only God knows what we did to him that made him invite us to that devilish church of his….look at the time we are coming back….5: 00 since 7: 00 in the morning…at the end of the day…he gave us beatings and one take away…his own will soon come……
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?Water Strike?
?.(Crazy compound)?

Genre: Drama (Comedy)
Setting: Lagos, Nigeria

Tags: comedy, R0m-nce??

By: Vickie Dora ✍️

Episode 15

Few days later ***
( Nose killer)

(Oga landlord, dressed in a well befitting attire; prepared to go to a landlords’ meeting of which he is expected to take part in as a senior landlord in that community. He checked himself well in the standing mirror in his room and smiled. Being a proud individual, he purposely decided to dress to kill, and make other landlords jealous.)

Landlady: (Entering into the room) Ahnaahn, oko mi (My husband), this one that you na dress like this, are you sure that it is landlord meeting you are going to

Landlord: (Laughs a little) My dear, you won’t un-derstand…I nee-d to look good naa, as the one to organize the meeting. You know that chairman is not around, so he said that I should take his place

Landlady: (helping him to adjust his agbada) Ehnehn, ok ooo, just make sure those women don’t eat you oooo, you are looking very fine ooo

Landlord: Was I not the most handsome man when you met me, I will always look handsome na

Landlady: (smiles in mockery) let me go and check what I put on the fire (she left afterward as oga landlord kept staring and smiling at himself
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(Along a quiet and lonely road, just few miles away from the meeting venue; stood the guys behind an old worn out mud building. It’s been ages since people live in that area, so it became a short cut route to the main town; although not everyone pas-ses there due to fear of robbers and some believes that ghost lives in that area, but that is just a superstitious story to Oga landlord.)

Emeka: Guys…we have been behind this house for ages, why is he not pas-sing..i thought you said he will follow this route

Douglas: Yes now, just calm down..he will soon pas-s…perhaps he is talking with someone on the road..let’s just wait

James: Haa..haaa,( sniffs his nose, side wards)

Douglas: why the nose sound naa

James: The odour coming from that thing you are carrying is not from this earth oo,,ahnaha, which kain smell be that naa (he said, referring to the wrapped object which Segun was holding)

Segun: Mthcchheeww, I really spent my time cook it, so that by the time it lands on him he will not get himself

Emeka: Hmmm, are you sure it will not kill him sha..because the odour is already killing my nose oo (covering his nose)

Douglas: Shhhhh….guys guys he is coming…lets move back a little (he whispered as they shifted to the back of the house and peeped to see their prey coming)

James: (Signaling segun) Are you ready (he whispered)

Segun: (nodded his head, with a smile)
James: Emeka, sharp guy….let the camera be clear ooo
Emeka: Sure (he winks)

James: Ok..you both will follow my command, at the count of three…let your aim be firm, and that camera should not be blur

(Oga Landlord kept walking towards their direction, oblivious of their presence. He kept singing a song in his dialect, praising himself for being a smart, handsome and rich landlord of all. He kept walking down the path with pride and a smile on his face; until he felt something cold splash on his face down to his cloth. Stunned, he turn to look at his shoulder but the odour that came from his send he to hell for few minutes. A shiver ran down his spine for seconds, as he tried to gaze at his shoulder for the second time)

Oga Landlord: Haaaaaaa, yeeepaaaaariiiiiipaaaaaa….ki le le yii (what is this) ahhh, igbe….igbe ree….pupu..shiitttt….for my cloth….someone throw sheat on me….heeiiiee, what is all this ooo…hiiiieee. (he yelled, checking around to catch the culprit, but couldn’t find anything. He seem to be the only one present in that route; could it be the supposed ghost he has been hearing about…no ghost doesn’t puupuu, he thought and shrug it off, already shedding tears as he stared at his stained and smelling attire)

(Hiding in the secret place, the guys couldn’t contain their laughter, as Emeka made sure he recorded every bit of the event)

James: continue to video him, let’s see what he will do
Douglas: he will have to go back (he smi-rked)

Oga landlord: (Staring ahead of him and at his back. He wondered what route he should follow) Should I go back or I should just continue, what is all this naa…I’m sure it will be one of those children that doesn’t have home training that did this…why will they be finding all this bad bad this to be funny. He tried taking taking off his agbada to clean off the Faeces on his face, when he sighted some of the landlord meeting officials coming towards his direction. He couldn’t hide again because they already saw him, and where walking closer) Oh Jesu…jesusss ehhnn…this people are already coming, what will I tell them that happened to my face now…(he thought, facing down in shame)
Mr. Koko (Secretary): (Opening his mouth in surprise) Ahnn ahhn….Oga landlord…is this you…abi I’m seeing someone else (he said turning to ask his fellows)

Iya Tunde (treasurer): Abi ooo, why the ahnahnn (fans her nose in disgust, and started coughing) hanahan…this shit get pepper ooooo….w£tin happened naa..did you puuupuu and mistakenly throw it on yourself….

Oga Landlord: (glared angrily at her) mtcheewwwww
Mr. Koko: well, we were on our way to your house oo, since we have been waiting for you and did not see you. So w decided to take this route being that it is a short cut…we did not expect to see you in this state…anyway, I have one agbo (herb) like that, it can stop purging…I will give you on my next visit…don’t try to puupuu on yourself again (he mockingly said…as everyone present busted into laughter)

Iya Tunde: na waa ooooo, oga landlord, who wicked you like this….na this sheat you wan take follow us, abi na house you go go…..wait ooo, how did it come on your body sef (She grinned)
Oga landlord: (Taking off his agbada, he cleans it off, as they all covered their nose, to avoid the fresh bad odour, which was arising. He hissed loudly, turning back to the direction of his houyse, not answering anyone who greeted him, neither did he spare his colleagues a glance as they called his name…..he was filled with rage, curing the cause of this sudden embarras-sment he received from his colleagues).
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(On getting home, landlady sighted him and noticed his expression)
Landlady: (surprised, sighting him from afar) Ahan ahnn, so early? Dem don close? (she asked no on in particular, trying to go close to him, but the odour coming out of his body, blocked her nose form some seconds..) yeeeyyee…mo ku ooo, what is…haannnn (covering her nose, as Oga landlord stared angrily at her, walked pas-s her and went inside). (breathing out and in, fresh air) yeee, whick kain smell be that one…ahnahnn…shey he fall inside gutter….abi na car-nal

Bola: (Rushing to meet her mum, breathing heavily) Maami maami…..
Landlady: haaa.m what is it…why are you breathing like this…

Bola: (Regaining her breathe) haaa, maami….baami (my father) is smelling ooo….i start to perceive the odour from far….farr……, io see shit on his cloth…

Landlady: Gbe enu e soun joorrr (Shut up your mouth) Every time.,,,shssiinshhsi, always talking…must you talk everything. Comeon, go inside and help him clean that shit joor….later he will come and tell me how it get on his body
Bola: meee….help him…..anhanh…am I his wife…..woooo I can’t come and kill myself oo,. That shit smell wella wella oo. My nose is just resurrecting , you are his wife go and help him (She exit, without waiting to hear her mum’s word)
Landlady: Ahnnahnn…bola..bola..come back here oo…oh you have grown wings ani …ok….
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The guy’s room**
(Laughing heartedly, they crawled into their room)
Segun: Ahhaaaahaahaa….haa, my rib..i swear…I can’t laugh enough
James: Abi oo, he thinks he is the only one that can do his own…we are more wiser that him

Douglas: And also smarter, he flogged us in his church..making it well known that he did it, but we can’t just reveal ourselves…he will find the culprit tire he will not see

Emeka: This is technology age naa, he can’t beat the vibes..but wait oo guys….won’t he suspect us sha
Segun: He cannot…why would he..

James: but we also nee-d to be careful, non of us should act like we know anything about it
Emeka: Then why did we decide to video it

Douglas: For future reference na……we can also use it to blackmail him….we are smart guys
Segun: Yess oo, if he tries any ru-bbish, we will just put it on line

James: sure thing bro…..
Douglas: this one that we diod is season one, I have season two specially packaged for him

Emeka: Really?
Douglas: yes naaa…..hmmmmm,, I can’t forget what happened in his church that day…this is just the beginning…

Segun: Abi ooo, landlord or no landlord, he must leave this compound for us…..
Emeka: (sighs) hm,mmm, heii, ok ooooo…but I’m exclude………

Segun &Douglas: We know that you will be excluded……
James: Don’t bother reminding them…….
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TBC…