season 2
21/22
THE PACT
Me, you, her and him
-CHAPTER 21-
Two months later- The last two months have been times of difficulty to me, I have lost so much weight due to the Hyperemesis Gravidrum and I look so frail. I throw up so much on most days I feel drained and tired.
Last week I was severely dehydrated, they kept me in the hospital for 2 nights on an IV drip.
I have also been regularly going for growth scans to ensure that the baby is growing and they keep telling me that the baby is too small for my d@t£s. I feel bad that my child is going throu-gh all this because of my inability to maintain a normal pregnancy.
I am currently on medication plus I have been put on modified be-d rest and I have a midwife who comes throu-gh regularly to monitor my liquid intake. Currently I can’t do much for myself, I feel dizzy most of the time, I am usually exhausted due to the sleepless nights and I can’t cope with so much noise. The only thing I can do is lie still in be-d or on the couch.
My mum, Robert, Daddy P, Palesa, the twins and some stuff from the office have been taking turns to look after me.
I am grateful for the support I have been receiving from these people, I don’t know what I would have done without them especially now that my marriage seems to be headed for the rocks. Lee has gone back to his $h!tty ways, he goes out nearly every night, he doesn’t pick up my calls and he rarely spends time with Caleb. It’s like he doesn’t care about us anymore. I married a man who I thought would always strive to make me happy. I married a man who I thought would be with me throu-gh thick and thin. Oh how wrong I was. Lee is the complete opposite of the man I married and honestly I can’t do this anymore. If he wants to leave I won’t st©p him, at the moment my focus is the baby in my wo-mb. I am saving all my strength for her, I would never forgive myself if someone were to happen to her. I haven’t done any scan yet but I am more than certain I am carrying a girl.
‘’Mummy! Mummy!’’ Caleb runs towards me. It’s a Friday afternoon and I am lying on the living room floor on my back listening to some music. I woke up feeling better today. I even managed to have breakfast.
‘’Yes my darling!’’ I smile, his pres£nce gives me peace.
‘’See what I got you,’’ he hands me a bouquet of calla lilies- my favorite.
‘’Thank you so much baby, come here.’’
He leans in and I k!sshis forehead, ‘’mummy loves you so much,’’ I whisper my voice choking with emotion.
I haven’t been there for him as I should because of this sickness, I feel so bad for missing most of his school functions.
‘’Why are you crying mummy? Don’t you like the flowers?’’
‘’I love them baby, I am just so happy to see you, I missed you.’’
‘’I missed you too, I am here now, I am not going anywhere.’’
‘’Thank you baby.’’
‘’I will go and change my uniform then I will be back. Okay?’’
‘’Okay.’’
‘’He is such an amazing child,’’ Jaden says. He is the one who went to pick him up from school today.
‘’Yes he is, he keeps me sane on most days.’’
‘’So we walked into this shop so I could gr-ab some lunch for my wife and I asked Caleb what he wanted me to get him, he points at the flowers and says those, I look at him quizzically and ask ‘’you want flowers?’’ Then he says get them for mummy, she will be happy. I swear I am still amazed, you are raising a true gentleman.’’
‘’You know Caleb is very observant, he notices easily when I am sad or about to cry that’s why I usually s£nd him to mum’s house when I am not very fine, I hate it when he sees me in a vulnerable and helpless state.’’
‘’You will be fine Kristian, you will be fine and that amazing child you are carrying will be glad to call you her mother.’’
‘’Thank you so much, you guys have been amazing, I cannot thank you enough.’’
‘’You are family now and families show up for each other.’’
‘’Thank you.’’
‘’How are things with Lee?’’
‘’Things keep getting worse between us, I don’t even know what to do.’’
‘’I talked to him when you were in the hospital and he promised to change but to no avail.’’
‘’Well, he will change when he decides to, we can’t f0rç£ him.’’
‘’Yes, anyway I have to leave now, I have a meeting at 14, my wife and I will be here later in the evening.’’
‘’Alright, I will see you later, thanks for picking Caleb from school.’’
‘’You are always welcome sis,’’ he rises to his feet and walks towards the door.
*
Clad in a long black dress and a hooded wool coat, I pu-ll up directly in front of the hut, all the way up to the hut and park before stepping out of the car. Then I walk into the hut to find gogo sitting on the mat, her legs stretched out in front of her and her eyes shut. I walk up to her and sit down on the ground beside her, ‘’Mwaikaleni mbuya,’’ I say in a low voice.
‘’Eya Mukawai Malia,’’ she responds. She always has issues pronouncing my name.
‘’I am back mbuya, the medicine you gave me has been working but I think I nee-d something more.’’
‘’What do you nee-d now?’’ she asks while staring at the wall, she always does this when she is in de-ep thoughts.
‘’It’s not enough that he is having issues with his wife, I want to make him mine.’’
She bur-sts out laughing, her face sort of flattens out and her eyes roll back in her head until the whites show.
‘’I have you sorted my grandchild, If you want that man to be yours then he will be yours but for every choice you make there is a consequence and you must be able to accept responsibility if you mess up.’’
‘’I will not mess up gogo, I promise I will not.’’
‘’Great!’’
*
‘’You will emerge from this nightmare like the powerful, beautiful, resilient person that you are. It can be ha-rd to remember this when you feel like a shell of the person you once were. But trust me, you are capable of overcoming so much more than you think- #raising awareness for HyperemesisGravidarum- Be educated and informed.’’
THE PACT
Me, you, her and him
-CHAPTER 22-
Unedited
Driving back home, I sing along to the song pla-ying on the radio. I am excited about ma-king Lee mine completely. Kristian thought she was clever but apparently I will have the last laugh, Lee will marry me and we will live happily ever after. Gogo has given me some powder that I should smoke while mentioning Lee’s name and affirming that he is mine. The powder is meant to arou-se love towards Lee and make him fall in love with me. Every time I smoke it, Lee will focus his total thinking and attention on me.
She also gave me some tea that I should drink during a full moon. We have the full moon tonight because I want to do everything at once. I want Lee to come looking for me like a lost puppy begging me to love him and make him mine.
*
Daddy P, Palesa and I are in the living room watching television while Jada and mum are preparing supper when Lee walks into the house, he looks at me for a moment before he walks past everyone and heads for the stairs.
Yes, it has gotten to that point, he doesn’t even acknowledge the people who are taking care of me, he told me the other day, he is tired of always finding people at home- he wants some privacy, like who does that? How am I supposed to tell my family and friends to st©p coming over because their pres£nce irritates this excuse of a man I married?
‘’I am sorry for Lee’s behavior, I don’t know what has gotten to him.’’
‘’You don’t nee-d to apologize on his behalf, he is old enough to make decisions on his own.’’
‘’I wonder what’s happening to this young man, you two were so much in love,’’ Palesa says.
‘’I nee-d to have a word with him, he will get his $h!t together or he will leave.’’
‘’I trust you to fix him,’’ Palesa responds.
Before I respond, Lee emerges from the be-droom, he has changed his work suit and now he is clad in jeans and a t-shi-t. Getting up from the chair, Daddy P stands in front of Lee and asks, ‘’where to young man?’’
‘’I nee-d to catch some fresh air.’’
‘’I will walk you out, I nee-d some fresh air too.’’
And before he can protest, Daddy P leads the way towards the door, and defeated Lee follows suit.
‘’It’s about to go down out there,’’ Palesa jokingly says and I laugh. ‘’Trust daddy P to set the record straight.’’
‘’I know right.’’
‘’You two are amazing together, Daddy P looks at you as though it’s the first time he has set his eyes on you, how do you do it? How do you keep your love this fresh? I don’t think I ever heard you guys argue.’’
She laughs, ‘no relationsh!pis perfect child, daddy P and I have our moments, we actually do argue a lot because he is stubborn and I don’t agree with some of the decisions that he makes. But what keeps us going is that we are able to communicate. Penjani and I talk about everything, the good and bad- that has helped to build trust and honesty between us.’’
‘’That’s quite inspiring, I envy you too, I don’t know if Lee and I will ever get to that level.’’
‘’I am sure you will, maybe Lee is going throu-gh stuff, let’s hear what Penjani will get from him.’’
‘’Thank you for being here, with all this drama around me, I would have lost my sanity without you all.’’
‘’You are always welcome child, we love and cherish you.’’
‘’You guys are great people.’’
She smiles, ‘’you will make me cry if you continue flattering me.’’
I laugh, ‘’But that’s the truth mummy.’’
*
Daddy P leads me out of the house to my car and then we stand facing each other.
‘’So what’s going on with you?’’ he asks.
‘’What do you mean?’’
‘’You have been acting up on your wife.’’
“Things aren’t moving well and I don’t think this is any of your business.’’
He laughs, ‘’Kristian is like a child to me, anything that concerns her is my business.’’
‘’So what do you want me to do?’’
‘’You pu-ll your $h!t together or you leave.’’
‘’Leave my own house?’’
‘’This house belongs to both you and your wife and if you aren’t re-ady to be the husband that she deserves I think you should leave her alone, she is going throu-gh so much alre-ady and a $h!tty husband is not something she should deal with.’’
‘’I have to leave I don’t think I should stand here and listen to you.’’
I turn to leave but he r0ûghly gr-abs my hand and twists it painfully.
Anger flares h0t throu-gh me, ‘’let me go!’’ I yell.
‘’One week, that’s all I am giving you to get back to normal. And I hope you know I don’t give empty threats.’’
With that he pushes me and heads back into the house and I am left there wondering what just happened.
*
She stands n-ked in the warm light of the full moon and pu-lls on the cigarette before letting the smoke out slowly while calling out Lee’s name and repeatedly saying, ‘’you are mine and mine alone. Let all the other voices fade until there’s only mine in your mind. Dear Lee, from now henceforth you listen to no other person but me.’’
Next she gr@bb£d a cu-p of the tea she had made, held it both in her hands and said, ‘’by the light of a full moon, I brew this tea to make Lee de-sire me.’’ Taking a large sip she went on to say, ‘’Goddess of love, hear my plea now and let Lee de-sire me.’’
She continued saying this until the cu-p was empty. Excited, she marched into the house, took a bath and wore red lingerie. Then she poured herself some wine and l@yon the couch just in her lingerie and high heels waiting for Lee.
She was more than confident that he would soon come looking for her.
*
Tbc