My heart shattered at the look on her face.
I haven’t seen her looked so devastated before and it’s all my fault.
I’m not hoping for her to stay and give me another chance because I know that no matter how hard I beg,she will never forgive me but I’m just hoping that if she gives me a chance to explain,a chance to tell her that I never meant to hurt her this much,it might lessen the pain she’s feeling.
“No,it happened just once….two days ago….”
“Stop lying to me!”She screamed.
“I’m not lying, please Abby just….”
“Why am I still wasting my time with you”She angrily walked away and I know she’s going to get her things.
I just stand there, knowing it’ll be useless if I try to stop her.
Soon,she comes back holding her luggage.
“I’ll send someone to get the rest of my things”With that,she tried to move passed me but I stand in the way.
“I swear,I didn’t want to do it,I didn’t want to…”
She sniffed.”But you did,for countless number of times…”
“It was just once and I regret it… I really do…I tried to reach out to you….”
“Just shut it!I don’t want to listen to any of your lame excuses”She walked passed me but I quickly held her shoulders.
“Why can’t you just hear my own side of the story…for once,why can’t you just believe me?”
“It won’t change what you did!”She yelled struggling to get out of my hold.
“I didn’t want to do it”
For a while,she just cries,she cried her heart out.
And that tore me apart and then she lifted up her bloodshot eyes and stared at me with so much anger and pain.
“You know what, thank you,thank you for wasting all the years I spent with you.. thank you for wasting those years of my life”
I swallowed the thick lump in my throat.
“You’re just angry,you don’t mean…”
“I mean every word of it, and I’m just realizing it that that being with was a mistake…. marrying you was a big mistake”
Those words striked me like body blows,my arms dropped from her shoulders.
I just stand there and vaguely I’m aware that she has left,that the next time,we’d see each other is when I’ll be signing divorce papers.
And I became a shadow of myself,this is the second time Abby has made me feel this way…. useless… unimportant….unworthy of her love.
My life’s a mess now.
I know I shouldn’t result to drinking again.
But I keep drinking
And it’s as if I can’t live without alcohol.
Clara and Abby have made a mess out of my life and I don’t know if I can ever be the same again.
Clara came by to pick up her things. I think part of her was expecting a relationship from me.
She’s pretty startled to see all my companions in the living room….all my bottles of alcohol.
When she walks back to the living room with her luggage,she moved closer to me.
“Dave,why are doing this to yourself?you shouldn’t be….”
“Get out!”I ordered.
Her presence is making me livid…. before she came along, everything was perfect… before she came along,Abby didn’t think I was wasting years of her life.
“GET THE FUCK OUT!”I yelled smashing a bottle on the wall and glaring at her.It takes every string of self control that I still have in me not to hold her by the neck and strangle her to death.
She has succeeded, right?
My marriage is ruined.
So if she knows what’s best for her,she would never dare to come anywhere near me.
Sensing the beast which I am struggling to tame,she picked up her luggage and hurriedly walked away.
I have to stop this new habit of mine.But I feel that drinking numbs all the pain and at the same time, drinking isn’t making me focus on my work…on my life.
Maami got to know about Abby and I.She worries too much.
And even went as far as calling Martin.
As soon as I am told that he is on his way to Nigeria for my sake,I quickly start hiding all the bottles,even as I do that,I am terribly drunk.
Soon,I hear him rushing into my house. “You punk!”He thundered.
I am going to get it from him.He takes after our father, he’s bad-tempered and hot-headed.
He grabbed the collars of my shirt lifting me up to stand properly.
“Aren’t you too old to be making Maami so worried?”
“She was only overreacting,I told her that I’m fine…”
“Have you looked at yourself at the mirror?Your wife left you…so? I saw this coming,I always told you that bitch wasn’t right for you!”
He never liked Abby.But he has no right to call her a bitch.
I yanked his hands away from me.
“I’m handling everything just fine, okay?”
“Handling?you call this handling?When last did you go to the office,Dave? You’re broken…she broke you again.”
“Why are you making this about me? I was the one who hurt her. I cheated….”
“Cut the crap! I know how foolishly you love that woman,you can never do anything to hurt her.Maami said it was her best friend,what really happened,Dave?Did they plan this together?Did she make you cheat because getting a divorce would make her acquire fifty percent of your wealth?”
“Abby isn’t like that”I snapped.
“Then what really happened?Did she make you feel unimportant?Did she….”
“Abby loves me!”I yelled, tearfully, that’s what I want to keep on holding onto.
“I will tell you what I told you before,she doesn’t love you.Look at Ayo and Lisa,that is true love.Ayo cheated for a while and I know he enjoyed every moment of it but when Lisa got to know,she stood by him.She didn’t leave, instead she changed him but look at you, I’m pretty sure you were forced to cheat and once your wife got to know….bingo! She’s out of your life immediately as if she had been waiting for the right time to leave”
His words fucking hurt.
He moves closer to me.
“Listen,Dave. I had to come all the way to Nigeria to get this into your fucking head.We’re not in the ghetto anymore, you’re not Abby’s homework boy anymore, we’ve made it big in life and just one silly little woman can’t ruin what we’ve acquired so far.You can have any woman you want.You don’t need someone who doesn’t love you.Now, you’ll get your shit together and pull through this, understand?”
Sometimes,I wondered if he loves his wife,he always says that women should be controlled and submissive.
But I felt women should be cherished.
Maybe I’m just some lovesick puppy.
What if he’s really right about Abby?
She really didn’t love me at all…not even a little bit?
“I’m going to see Maami now and tell her that you’re going to pull yourself together,you better do if you know what’s good for you”He threatened and walked away.
I just sank into the couch.
I am such a loser.
The world is really crumbling down on Dave😟😟
Be on the look out and see if Dave will adapt to this new life.