© Pauline Mumbi
I was re-ady the to approach them but time wasn’t
on my side, either I chose to fight and miss my
flight or ignore it and chase after something that
was still in my favour.
re-ad Also: The Invincible Hunters
I thank God we were not on the same flight.
Lagos promised better things and a lot more. My
manager picked me up from the Airport and I
checked into a beautiful h0tel. The first place I
wanted to visit was Banana island.. The much
talked about place.
As I relaxed and reflected in my h0tel suite Atusaye
was on my mind and not because I missed him…
Well of course I did. But really what I wanted was
to move on. For good this time. Maybe love wasn’t
for me… Perhaps I had to start afresh and focus on
my life, without Atusaye.
Amidst all the thoughts was the pressure of getting
the award. What if I wasn’t good enough?.. No of
course not. I was good enough. I just didn’t know
about the rumours, they had circulated really fast
like wild fire and I stood to lose this award based
on those grounds.
###############
“We nee-d to get your outfit re-ady” my manager said
as we had lunch.
“Yes… I know. Do you think I will get it… I mean
the award?” I said hesitantly.
“Whether we get it or we don’t.. You have to stand
with your head high..” He responded.
“I really like your courage” I said.
“No I like yours… You still chose to come out here
even when you had every reason not to”. He said as
he ru-bbe-d my shoulder
” thank you Ben.. Can we go now…” I said as I got
up.
The afternoon was spent preparing for the following
days event. I had no time to get a designer so I
had to pick out a dress from the sto-re.
Social media is a place I completely avoided, in
fact I deactivate all my social media accounts to
wait for the situation to normalise.
The day of the awards was extremely busy. I
travelled in complete chaos.. No makeup artist and
didn’t even bother hiring one.
###############
“We nee-d to go..” My manger said as he waited on
my door.
“Just two more minutes and will be there” I said.
I had managed to dress myself for the event and
was more than re-ady to walk the red carpet in style,
if Atusaye was around… I wouldn’t be showing up
alone. I thought.
The flash flights and the fame couldn’t fill the void
inside. I was a star but inside I was ba-rely shining.
“You nee-d to put a smile on your face.. Remember
everyone wants to see you and this is your chance
to make the best of the mess. You hear me…?” My
manager warned as we drove to the event.
“Yes.. I do .. I hear you”.. I said.
As I sat in the car viewing the beautiful lights of the
city of Lagos I could ha-rd ly breath… A big lump
chocked my throat and I was re-ady to cry but my
manger noticed.
” Mwansa.. This is p@rt of being at the t©p.. I wish
I could say it is easy but no it isn’t. To achieve your
goals isn’t easy… Many people wish they were you
right now and as funny as it sounds even this
mess….. others are envying you for it. Mwansa
look at me… If you walk out there and face the
crowd with courage… I can as-sure you the devil has
failed”.. He said.
Ben was right.. Despite knowing I had to answer
many questions, I took the courage and stepped out
of the car.
Its like everyone was waiting to see me and hear
from me.
c@m£ras were in my face and microphones waiting
to hear my explanation but I smiled and gave a
short response each time.
#############
It wasn’t bad after all. I managed to get past the
questions and I was now settled waiting for the
awards to start.
Finally after waiting for so long, the nominees were
announced for the category where my movie was
featuring… It was a tense moment waiting for the
final announcement as Ben and I held our hands
ti-ght
“Lord plea-se let me scoop this, at least for all the
humiliation I’ve been throu-gh. I deserve this my
Jesus.” I said in my heart.
For a moment
I was numb and everything st©pped
I was numb and everything st©pped
as Ben shook me with excitement.
“What? Did we get it?” I asked with extreme joy.
“Of course we did! Let’s go… Let’s go” he
screamed with joy.
I stood and we walked to the front.. It was the best
day of my life and yes of course the tears were
there. Plenty of them.
Ben stepped aside as I walked up to the
microphone.
“I don’t know what to say…” I started..
“Well first if all I want to thank the Almighty God
because his grace…… Am sorry….. Give me a
minute” I said as I st©pped to cry for a moment
“Calm down” I head Ben shout from the
background.
I cleared my thought and started afresh.
“Yes as I was saying…. The Almighty God alone
deserves the glory and praise because if it wasn’t
for him I wouldn’t be here…. Humiliation has been
a plate I’ve eaten from everyday of my life.. Bit
standing on this platform is proof that I serve a
mighty God. I serve a mighty God…” I shouted.
People cheered and gave me a standing ovation and
I felt comforted.
I didn’t see Atusaye coming to the front but I just
realised he was on stage standing next to me and
held my shoulder before taking the opportunity to
say something
“Ladies and gentlemen I just wanted to officially
clear the rumours. I am here and I am going
nowhere” he said.
While the crowd cheered Atusaye and i held hands
as I wore a fake smile. Surely they had to be a
reason for him to be there after his unexpected
silence.
################
My manager was extremely mad at me for even
allowing Atusaye be close to me and we met to
discuss it over breakfast the following day.
“He said he was sorry for believing everything” I
convincingly told Ben
“Oh and you believed him!!!! What’s wrong with you?
Are you that desperate to be in a relationsh!p??!!”
He yelled.
“Ben calm down we are in a public place… He is
still the man I love and I un-derstand the place he
was coming from when he fell for the lies” I said
trying to convince him.
“No plea-se don’t even give me that excuse!!!! Your
b©yfri£ndis just after your money and fame!” Ben
yelled.
We were in a five star restaurant and he was yelling
like he was talking to a child.
“Listen my dear… You had the one time
opportunity… Only one opportunity to get this man
out of your life for good and you instead chose to
welcome him back the moment he crawled back.
This is your career, in the entertainment world
relationsh!ps come and go. So put yourself together
and forget about him” Ben said.
I didn’t believe everything he said except one
thing…
Maybe he was right, maybe Atusaye was just after
my money. But he had never asked me for a cent
ever since we had been together. Was he waiting to
marry me before he could have it all?
Yes it made s-en-se…. If the rumours had been going
on for so long why then did he choose to forgive
me now?..
I mean now of all times?. It’s obviously because he
knew I was now climbing to the t©p.
Yes it made s-en-se.
What Ben didn’t know was that Atusaye had just
dropped me at the h0tel room the previous night
and we didn’t even talk. However. We had agreed
to meet over lunch to discuss our relationsh!p.
############################
“You look really look good Mwansa” Atusaye
complimented as we arrived at the restaurant.
“Thank you… I really appreciate.” I responded.
We settled and ordered our food as we began to
discuss.
“Am sorry for believing everything I heard… I guess
I was too fast” he said.
“I un-derstand….” I responded as I cleared my
thoughts.
“Does that mean you forgive me?” He asked.
I cleared my throat and put the fork on the table.
“Atusaye what do you take me for?” I asked bluntly
as I stared into his eyes.
“What do you mean by that Mwansa?… He asked
me.
“Look Atusaye I guess I would like to speak first..” I
said
“Yes honey you go first am listening” he said.
“I know you think am foolish… But your games are
too small for me I’ve been throu-gh a lot in life…”
” and I completely un-derstand that” he interrupted.
“Speak plea-se what it?” He asked me.
“Atusaye… I just can’t. I mean … I know we love
each other and everything but I can’t… Today its
this, God knows what it will be tomorrow” I said as
I bec@m£ emotional.