Tales of two funny ritualist episode 16

Tales of two funny ritualist episode 16
We agreed to the terms of baba, he stood up and told us to follow him. We didn’t know where he was taking us to but we have no choice than to follow.
We got out of the shrine, walked into the forest before baba suddenly st©pped. We have no choice than to st©p as well.
Baba started saying some incantation, he used some things he brou-ght from the shrine and started sprinkling it on the clear sp©t, the gras-ses there have been cut low.
Flex: Idris, I no like this thing at all. For example where the coffin wey we suppose to use.
Flex asked me, I was also confused, but not like him. I didn’t know the right answer to give him at that time but then, thank goodness I didn’t even have to answer his question. Two coffins appeared magically before us.
It took all the strength in me combined with that of my father and grandfather to still be standing.
And for Flex, he wanted to dash away but I was quic-k to hold him. The major reason why I held him isn’t because I didn’t want him to show weakness, ah it was far from it.
Flex was a better runner than I, so maybe if we dash away, I might get killed while he will survive. Why do that when I can simply gr-ab him. Are we not friends, we live and die together.
Baba: hahaha, don’t be frightened.
The old man said as he opened the casket. How dare him say that, maybe he was a crazy old man after all.
Baba: enter inside, enter…enter…
The baba said and I was sure we were spell bounded as we just walked into the coffins, closed our eyes and embr@ce the internal oblivion within us.
Baba spoke some incantations and the coffin vanished.
Baba: hahaha….
7 Days later.
Baba c@m£ to the same sp©t where he had us vanished. He spoke some of his incantations and the coffins appeared again.
The old man opened the lid and just like a programmed Robot, we walked out from the coffins our bodies were pale white and for the past seven days, we were oblivious to our surrounding.
Baba poured something over us and we followed him. He got to another path of the forest, not close to his shrine and ordered us to l@ydown.
He bath us with something, something we didn’t know but if I were to give the composition of that substance, it is five per cent water, ninety five percent concoctions made from herbs.
After bathing us like little children. He stood up and left.
30 minutes later.
We both woke up, not like the robots earlier but as ourselves. With spirit and soul.
Flex: we-tin happen, we don die be that o. See paradise.
Me: you dey craze, you know even say na hell. How forest go be paradise?
Baba: welcome back millionaires.
Baba greeted us and it occurred to us that we didn’t die. We are still alive.
Baba: follow me..
He said and we followed him to his shrine. we were surprise to see two girls outside, lying down unconscious as if they were in de-ep sleep.
Baba: you made it successfully.
Baba said as he sat down in the shrine.
Flex: so baba, how we go dey take make money. Where the money go dey come from?
Flex asked the baba.
Baba: it is easy. Every three months, you will have to sleep with a girl. Two girls separately to renew the charm.
Me: how, how we go take know this girls.
Baba: it is easy. You will see something like a red flame burning over them.
Flex: and after slee-ping with them what will happen to them?
Baba: simple, they will die..
Me & Flex: what!!!
Baba: don’t be afraid. All the girls are programmed to be cheap prostitutes.
We relaxed but not totally. We don’t like the idea of killing someone for our sake, not even a pr©st!tût£but it was too late to back down.
Baba: follow me..
Baba said again, standing up.
Baba took us outside the shrine and behold, we saw the sign clearly on the girls before us. A red flame burning on their heads.
Baba: these are some cheap prostitutes to start with.
Baba said over the girls. He gave us the go ahead signal and we pounced on the girls. As soon as our d!¢ks entered inside their pussies, they gave out a loud scream.
We pumped in and out of them with f0rç£ till we cli-maxed. When we stood up, the prostitutes started to choke. It wasn’t long before blood began to spill from their mouths, nostrils and ears.
Baba: done.
Flex: but wey the money dey?
Baba: just go to your room, all will be revealed.
Flex: ok.
Me: so baba, how much you go collect from us?
Baba: nothing. Just bring back goodies for me whenever you return.
Me: ahh, thank you o baba.
Baba: don’t mention, you are welcome.
We thanked the old man, helped him and disposed the corpses away before we headed home, thank God our little money for transportation was still intact.
We st©pped a street away from our house and decided to walk home.
Flex: imagine, so we no eat any food for seven days?
Me: you don see am now.
Flex: and to think of it, we no die?
Me: God forbid, I been tell you alre-ady. We no be the first and we will definitely not be the last.
Flex: the man say money dey for our room.
Me: make we hurry abeg.
We entered inside our compound, konami saw us and shouted.
Konami: they are back ooo.
At first I didn’t un-derstand, then all of a sudden, all the inhabitants of the compound including dencygirl c@m£ out.
Her eyes were red and swollen, evidence of excessive crying. When she saw us, she ran and hvgged us, well me.
Dency: where una go all this while. I hear say dem never see una, two days after una just leave and I was confuse. I run from village come here.
Oga val: we don even contact police oo.
Jummybabe: but we-tin happen to una, for the past one week we no see or hear from una.
Me: hmmm..
Flex; na long story.
Without wasting time, we fabricated a good lie telling them that we were called on an urgent meeting in the village, our village precisely.
Then soma asked for our travelling bags and we said a quic-k lie of leaving so quic-k and keeping our stuff behind.
The look on their faces showed that they didn’t buy the lie. So I lied again that my relative, my uncle in town was the one that told us to leave everything, he bought new clothes and other things we used over there.
Then oga val did ask of the new clothes and flex quic-kly lied that we kept them in my uncle house.
Dencygirl wasn’t happy.
Dency: so you get uncle for town and you no tell me?
I c@m£ up with another swift lie that he c@m£ when she left, because of the incident that occur in the village. I also made it clear to them that it was actually my village and flex only accompanied me.
After series of questions, everyone welcomed us for coming back from the village safely. They asked for their gifts which we promised to be delivered soon.
They all dispersed one by one to their houses. Only Dencygirl who held my hand as we walked to our room was left.
I wanted to open the door and Flex gave me a signal, that dency shouldn’t be here.
I perfectly un-derstood but didn’t know how to excused her, then it hit me, a wise idea.
Me: plea-se dency help me boil water with your electric cooker plea-se.
Dencygirl: water, alright.
She said as she walked away. We both smiled as we opened the door and to closed it shut, even bolted it before turning around.
What we saw when we turned almost gave us a heart attack, there were currencies of all denomination ranging from naira to dollars, euros, ponds etc.
We are rich. Yes, very very rich.