Tales of two funny ritualist episode 15
Continues from the last episode.
The guys brou-ght three and fuel and before we new what was happening, they brou-ght out their match box.
Guy: wait, make we first beat them to death before we burn them alive.
A guy shouted from amidst the crowd.
Guy2: yes oo, this will serve as a great lessons to others. Oya bring the planks.
They brou-ght out several planks which they use to beat me and flex as if we were cows. They made sure that most of our bones and joints were all broken.
Blood was gushing out of every pore in our skin. We couldn’t see properly because blood rushing from our head blinded us temporarily.
No matter how much we beg or plead, they wouldn’t listen. It was like our begging was giving them strength to man handle us the more.
The beatings were too much that our visions got blurry and we pas-sed out.
A-Z HOSPITAL CARE
11 hours later..
I opened my eyes weekly as pains were surging throu-gh my system, but not as before. I looked around me and found out that I was lying in a be-d inside a hospital.
My whole b©dy was covered with plasters. My right hand hung to the ceiling while the left hand was cuffed to the be-d like a criminal. Flex was by my side but still unconscious.
Voice: oh you’re awake.
A soft and nice voice spoke out. I looked by my side only to find a beautiful and S-xy nurse who was holding a tray with some ampoule and syringe on it.
Me: plea-se.. How manage I take come here?
I asked as my jaws was filled with pains and it intensified each time I talked.
Nurse: be grateful to God, you were brou-ght here by the police. If not for their quic-k intervention, the angry mob would have killed you. Now take your rest lemme go and call the doctor.
What, did she say quic-k intervention? We we’re almost killed and the police was nowhere to be found now she is saying quic-k intervention. D–n it.
Not long after she left, the doctor entered inside with a smile on his face. we-tin dry make am laugh?
Doctor: wow, I can see you are awake. That is very nice. I believe your friend here will be up anytime soon.
He said referring to flex. I didn’t answer him not that I didn’t want to but couldn’t because my jaws and cheeks hurt too.
After talking for what seems like forever, he later left me alone and for once, I can stay and think about my life.
A MONTH LATER.
We were discharged from the hospital but from there, it was straight to police station. We stayed in police custody for a while before someone c@m£ to our rescue.
Guess who? It was dencybabe. When she didn’t see us for up to a month, she bec@m£ worried and engaged herself and the coolvalers into operation search and rescue.
They searched for close to a week before she heard that we were in police custody because of the stunt we pu-ll-ed.
She later got the address of the prison and went their with the coolvalers. They all contributed the little money they had and bailed us.
I was grateful, to God, dencybabe and the coolvalers.
I made sure I plead with dencybabe and she forgives me. Our love for each other was now growing by the pas-s of each day till something happened.
Something that will change the lives of me and flex.
It all started some weeks ago, when dencygirl left for her village because her mum called her requiring her pres£nce.
This time around, we were left with no money, no food and no anything. we were totally stranded. For three days, we drank only water and anything we can l@yhands on.
Donflex: Idris? Na life we dey live?
Donflex asked as we both sat down very tired, not of exhaustion but hunger.
Me: I tire o.
Donflex: how e go be naw?
Me: anyhow, I fit do anything now just to get money.
Me: yes, even if an ritual self.
Donflex: hmm, I hear of one baba. People believe say this baba get mystical powers.
Me: you know where the baba dey live.
Donflex; I write the location for paper. Wait make I look for where I even keep the paper self.
He said and searched his self, he found the paper which he gave me and I nodded.
Me: I know this place. But na thick bush full the place o. Na hunters territory self.
Donflex: then na the right place. Abi you expect native doctor to leave for town.
Me: no you’re absolutely right. Dress up make we go find the place.
I said to Donflex. At this point, enough is enough. We are re-ady to do anything just to make it life. No more depending on others.
It took us hours before we were able to locate baba shrine. We pas-sed throu-gh bushes, thorns, thick gras-ses and tall trees.
At last we were able to find the shrine. They were red clothes all over the place, then white at few corners. The molded sculptures and some black Idols were kept their in form of decoration.
Voice: pu-ll your shoes before entering inside.
We were scared at the sound of the unexpected voice but no one will like to disobey a strange being. So we pu-ll-ed our shoes and entered. We later found out that the owner of the voice was the baba we were looking for.
Me: good day sir.
Flex: baba good day.
We both greeted, don’t blame us but none of us knew the manner to great a spiritual being.
Baba: are you re-ady with the task ahead?
Me: what task?
Flex: what task?
We both asked confused.
Baba: don’t tell me you have forgotten what brou-ght you here. Well if you nee-d a quic-k reminder, you both c@m£ here to seek riches, right?
I looked at flex and Flex returned the look, no doubt this is our last bus st©p.
Me: yes sir.
The baba started some incantations which he did for several minutes before looking up, at us.
Baba: all you nee-d to do is to bring the head of a young boy, two fowls, palm oil and some kolanuts with a bottle of dry gin.
Me & Flex: Je…
We wanted to shout Jesus but hooked, that will be a bad idea right now.
Flex: baba we fit get everything oo but we no fit sacrifice human being, abi Idris how you see am?
Me: I agree with you flex.
I replied in pidgin language. This case was more than speaking good English.
Me: plea-se baba, find another way for us.
The baba smiled and did some other incantations, when he was done he looked up and smiled.
Baba: the gods have granted you another way. You are truly lucky. All you nee-d to do now is to be buried in a coffin for some days, then when you rise, money shall no longer be your problem.
Flex: ok, give us few minutes abeg. We dey come.
Flex said and drew me out.
Flex: Idris, make we just dey go house jejely from here.
Me: why you say so?
Flex: you dey craze, you know here we-tin that crazy old man dey talk?
Me: and so? Na we go be the first people wey dey go bury inside coffin? See you o. Them don bury many people inside and then survive. Our case will remain the same too.
Flex: coffin oo!!
Me: na you find out this place for me. All I have to say is thank you. I no dey back down but if you want back down now, no problem. You know road alre-ady. You can go back to your hunger outside.
I said and entered the shrine with a strong determination while flex hesitated, but later followed me.
Tales of two funny ritualist episode 15