S-xUAL
de-sire🍑
( A night with my best friend 🛌)
Rated 🔞+
✍️ Chapter Thirty—Three✍️
“So there was this weird guy outside your house. I think he was a spy?” I told Kyle as soon as I entered the kitchen.
He was busy ma-king fajitas for lunch and he st©pped once my s£ntence sank.
“Spy?” He asked, an amused smile appearing in his breath taking features.
“Yup.” I nodded as I gr@bb£d a slice of cu¢v-mber from his chopped salad and ni-bbled on it. “He had a blue suit and black shades and even a sporty car to go with the whole “Men-in-black” look.”
He laughed suddenly as he shook his head.
“Should I be worried?”
I frowned. “I’m not sure. I mean besides the fact that he had this intense stare when he was looking over at your house, he didn’t seem that dangerous.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Maybe he was just a pas-ser-by.”
I made a face. “Maybe, but he was holding some sort of envelope too. So if he wasn’t a spy then…” I shrugged.
“Did you talk to him?” He asked as he set a plate for me too.
“For a like a second. He got out of there as soon I did.” I frowned.
Kyle shrugged. “That’s weird. Maybe, he must have got the wrong house then.”
“Maybe.” I shrugged again. “Those fajitas smell good.” I commented deciding to change the conversation.
I walked towards him and he turned around to smear the sauce on myl-ips while dra-ping an arm around my n£¢k.
I li-cked myl-ips. “Taste good too.” I appraised him.
He leaned down to my level with that lazy smile pla-ying on his features before k!ss!ngme on thel-ips.
“Taste better on yourl-ips.” He commented slyly.
I giggled as I pu-ll-ed away but before I could get further away he had me tra-pped by both of his arm. My face was pressed on his che-st as he hvgged me and I breathed in his masculine scent before sighing to myself.
I knew now was a great time to start talking, even though I didn’t want to ruin the moment. I had to know where this relationsh!pwas going.
“What?” He asked when I stiffened in his arms. He titled my chin and our eyes locked. His probing eyes were unnerving.
“We nee-d to talk.”
He frowned slightly, worry replacing his pla-yful smile. “About?”
“Us.”
“What about us?” His arms began to slack around me.
I took a de-ep breath. “Not just us, Kyle, but our future. I mean, in less than a week we are graduating and then after that I might have to do this internsh!pthing and I don’t think I’m going to do it because I want to spent summer with you and I won’t have that chance if I go because after that there’s college which we haven’t even talked about. I mean, I don’t even know which college you’re going to or whether you’re even going to college or not!” I g@sped after my ramble.
“Keya. Calm down, okay?” He snapped me out of it. “Look. I’ve been meaning to talk to you too.” He freed me from his hold and leaned back on the kitchen island while crossing his arm on his che-st.
“I’m not going to college.” He declared.
Dumbfounded by his statement, I blinked unerringly and when I realised that he was actually serious, my mouth dropped.
“Why?” The lack of emotion in my tone seemed heartless but really I somehow had an idea why he was not going.
When he didn’t answer I resorted to guessing. “Is it because you didn’t get in?”
Kyle turned his eyes toward me, his gaze was pene-trating in the silence that followed before he spoke. “No. They all accepted me.”
“Then why?” I persisted.
“Because I don’t have the funds for them.” He admitted.
“What happened to the scholarsh!papplications?”
He just shook his head, while turning away from me.
I took in a de-ep breath as I watched his back muscles tense. “Okay.” I said approaching him. “We can figure something out, I can delve out some of my trust funds and you know I can quit the internsh!p—”
“No!” His voice was sharp, dismissive. “Don’t even…I don’t want your money Keya and I don’t want you quitting because of me. No way.”
I scowled at nothing in p@rticular. I felt chastised by his s£ntence. “Kyle, I want do this. My parents can allow me to have my trust fund now when they know the reason, Kyle you have—”
“No!” He shook his head violently cutting me off. “I don’t want your help. I don’t nee-d it!” His eyes were intense toward me, both anger and arrogance pla-ying in their depths.
“Kyle. I want to do this. I have to help you, I—” I st©pped myself quic-kly before I blurted out, ‘I love you’ to him. “We are in this together. You deserve to go to college, to get out of here!”
“And you deserve to go that internsh!p, I won’t let you sacrifice your funds for me. You deserve a b©yfri£ndwho’s stable, not someone who’ll drag you behind, not someone you have to keep giving money to.”
I glared at him. “Kyle. I want to be with you. I don’t have to do that internsh!p.”
“I won’t ask you not to.” His sharp eyes turned into a de-ep frown.
I faltered for a moment. “What are you saying?”
“That we should break up.”
A small earthquake tumbled inside me for a moment. “What?” The hollowness my voice seemed too loud in the room.
“I don’t see how this will work between us, I mean even if I did have the money for college, we will still be miles ap@rt from each other, in a complete different world. So our break up was inevitable.” He said in a neutral voice.
“No don’t do this.” I could feel the tears in my voice.
“I have to.”
I shook my head violently, almost snapping my n£¢k in the process. “If it’s not my money you want then I can help you raise the funds you nee-d. We can do it this summer.” I moved to wra-p my arms around him, feeling as if he was alre-ady drifting away from me. The fact that he remained still as a statue should have been a hint. He couldn’t even hvg me back.
“For an umpteenth time, I don’t want you to help me. You have to go that internsh!p, I won’t let you sacrifice your career for me.
You’d hate me for it.” He unwra-pped my arms from me.
“You don’t know that. I’d do anything to be with you, Kyle. plea-se.” I pleaded, pouring my heart in front of him.
He f0rç£d a small smile, his hands itching in his sides to t©uçh me. He refrained from his urges, however, as he shook his head. “No.”
Like a broken glas-ses falling onto a tile floor, my heart shattered into a million of hopeless pieces.
“What, so you just gonna cut me off like that?” My voice was ba-rely audible from the explosion of emotions.
“You know I’d never do that. I’m just saying we should break it off right now before we make this hvge mistake.” He reasoned.
“Mistake?” The tears began. “You’re saying choosing us is a mistake?”
“It will be.” Was his indifferent reply.
My che-st ached and ti-ght£ñed, my world slowly tearing ap@rt.
“You have to go, Keya. Don’t worry, after graduation you’ll be five hundred miles away. You will forget about me, you’d see our relationsh!pas a mere glitch, a trial and error. You’re gonna find someone else soon enough.”
“No. I won’t go. If it means losing you. I won’t.” My che-st heaved with heavy breaths. I wiped away the falling tears with the back of my hand.
“I won’t ask you stay. I don’t want you to.” Somehow he seemed to have lost his patience when he lashed.
“Y-you don’t?”
He shook his head. His face was ha-rd , showing no emotion for me to contemplate his true feelings. This was a true b!ow. It hurt so much.
“You never really loved me, did you?” I accused.
He gave a long look before closing his eyes, “Not like that.”
Another b!ow to my heart. However instead of shattering, there was a rise of anger boiling itself to the surface.
“You used me for s3x!” I lashed, letting my rage control me. I knew I was talking absolute nons-en-se but my heart was breaking. I couldn’t think straight. I was in perpetual agony.
“All of this so called relationsh!p, it was just pretence! You just wanted to have s3x with me!” I shoved my hands on his che-st. This was the rage talking, the only thing in control over my b©dy and mind.
“You warned me about James, when it was you who I should have been cautious of in the first place. You’re worse than all of them! You are a coward, Kyle. A stupid coward!”
Kyle took it; my anger. He let me vent without saying anything. I knew I would regret these words later on but as of right now, well they felt so good coming out of my mouth. I was a shattered mess and seeing how he just stood there, indifferent, accepting whatever ridiculousness I spouted, sickened me.
It was amazing how just one big conversation about our future could turn into a break up.
There were two different sides of me. One that wanted to make him feel the pain he was causing me now and one that begged me to st©p and see reason, this side was the one yearning for him, for the loss of him. This side was the one that fli-ckered images upon images of how good we were together and contradicted his words. This side was the one that was becoming more dominant.
I had to leave his sight, before I did something I would forever regret. It was painful to leave him, because a p@rt me somehow knew this was going to be last I will ever talk to him.
The thing that further increa-sed the pain was the fact that he didn’t st©p me, as I ran out of his house in a sobbing mess. No, he just stood there and watched me leave.
✍️ Chapter Thirty—Four✍️
“Keya, c’mon get out of that be-d it’s been three weeks now!” Kelly badged into my room like a racket and wrenched the duvet off me.
I gro-an ed as I curled into a ball. “Ugh!” I protested.
“be-d! Out! Now!” She used her sharp, non-argumentative tone. When she was like this I had no choice but to obey her. So I got up.
She took one look at me and then her face softened. “Oh sweetie, you’ve been crying again.”
“Have not.” I grumbled, wiping the bags from my eyes. I knew she could tell by how red they were.
She attem-pted to hvg me but I side-tracked her movements quic-kly. I couldn’t allow myself a breakdown again.
“You want to talk about it?” She asked as she sat herself on the corner of my be-d, while watching me do my morning routine.
“Mom, you know what happened. I alre-ady told you.”
“Yeah but, by the time you actually did, you were a sobbing mess, I couldn’t get a word you said.”
I shrugged, really not wanting to think about that day. I ignored her pressing look as I gr@bb£d a clean t-shi-t and pu-ll-ed it over me.
“Anyway, Sav is downstairs.” She informed.
“What?” I g@sped. “Oh no, she’s going to drag me out again isn’t she?”
“You know she has my full permission to do so.” My mother had the audacity to give me her evil sm-irk.
“Ugh!” I flailed my hands in the air.
“You’re heart-broken. I un-derstand. But it’s not the end of the world.” She told me.
“You don’t un-derstand, mom. You’ve never been heart-broken. You’re lucky that way. You found the love of your life and everything just worked out perfectly.” I complained.
My mother sighed and crossed her arms to her che-st. Herl-ips twisted into a thoughtful purse. “You make me wish that I could’ve gotten my heart broken. Maybe then, I’d have some idea of how to help you.”
I sighed too. “Don’t worry mom, I’ll be fine. It’s not every day that a boy breaks my heart and I can’t turn to my best friend for consolation because he’s the cause of it.”
“Now you’re ma-king me feel depressed.” She pouted herl-ips.
I shook my head. “Just go mom, tell Sav to come upstairs.”
“Can’t do that. I have orders specifically from her, for you to be re-ady in twenty minutes. She’s taking you out to see a movie.”
I frowned. “It doesn’t make s-en-se why she can’t come up.”
“Distraction, apparently. Plus, being in your room is depressing these days.” She shrugged as if stating a fact.
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. I’ll get re-ady now.”
She smiled and clasped her hands together. “Good! You’ll be getting out of the house again!”
I ignored the taunt and headed straight for the shower. It was a quic-k one and I didn’t bother dressing up smartly as I put on casual jeans and a t-shi-t with a hooded jacket on t©p.
When I got downstairs, my mother and Sav were talking animatedly about something I didn’t catch because by the time I entered into the kitchen, the conversation died down.
“Key!” Sav’s exclamation revived the awkward silence and soon my mother busied herself with packing breakfast in a plate for me. My lack of appetite for the last month concerned her so much that whenever she got the chance, she would put more food on my plate, as if that was going to change anything.
I knew I lost quite a few pounds and though I was slim to my potential now, I wasn’t proud of this weight loss.
The hvg Sav gave me took me aback a little. We had mended our differences long ago but still her sudden embr@ces were still new to me. She’d never resorted to hvgs before.
“So, are you re-ady to go?” She asked me as she pu-ll-ed away.
This was the fifth time since she found about my break up that she’d pu-ll-ed me out of the house to do something. I imagined the rest of the times she was busy being girlfriend to Ned. The first time she took me out. Ned had tagged along too and though they limited their hvgs and k!sses, I could still feel it prominently that I was a third wheel. She decided to ditch him from then on.
“Finish your eggs first, at least.” Kelly practically shoved a fork of eggs right into my mouth.
“Mother!” I mumbled throu-gh the food.
I was about to choke the food out of my mouth when she gave me a stern look that made me chew it instead. I ate three more fork fills just for her sake, before leaving the house with Sav afterwards.
“So where are we going?” I asked her as we got into her car.
“Movies. I thought you knew.” She told me, frowning.
“Yeah I knew. Just thought you’d change your mind like you always do.”
“Nope. I’m sticking to the plan.” She told me. “And this time, plea-se refrain from complaining so much. Seriously, if I hear one mourn out of you today then expect to be bit-ch sl@pped.” She scolded. “So you got your heart broken. Big deal. Been there, done that. The best ointment for a break-up is to always-always go out, get fresh air and take your mind off things. It will work for you, if you’d st©p refusing my invitations most of the time. Seriously, it’s like I have to get throu-gh your mom in order to get you to finally come out.”
I kind of liked how she was tough and honest with me. I guess she had had enough of my wallowing.
She was waiting for me to agree with her about the complaining when she stared me down.
I put my hands up in defeat. “Alright, alright! Gosh, seriously. I still deserve to grieve a little.”
The sl@p that c@m£ after that took me by surprise. “Ow.” I glared at her as I ru-bbe-d my face. It hadn’t been ha-rd but still, I didn’t expect it.
“I said no complaining. Maybe I should’ve added no self-pity too! Your grieving days are over, Misses.”
I rolled my eyes and put the seatbelt on when she began driving. We fought for the radio all the way throu-gh the journey. She wanted to pl@yupbeat songs and I kept changing it to bittersweet love songs.
Before we got in the Cinema, I had a full on lecture about what sort of songs I should st©p listening to if I wanted to mend again. She linked arms with me as we got inside the building, but just as we were about to go into a movie theatre, I st©pped dead in my tracks when I caught a glimpse of a familiar looking person.
It felt as if my heart was squee-zing ti-ghtly against my che-st, while the rest of my b©dy got deprived of any blood circulation.
Seeing him had the effect of a wrecking ball. I felt like breaking all over again, but before I could give way to gravity, Sav had dragged me inside the theatre room quic-kly before Kyle and Ned could sp©t us.
“Don’t. Keya, plea-se.” She squee-zed one my hand she was holding. “Sometimes I wish he was someone else, so that I could say he’s not worth your tears or that you deserve someone better. But he’s Kyle and I know no matter what I’ll say to convince you. It won’t work. He’s your best friend and you’ll always have a soft sp©t for him.” She said.
“It’s okay, Sav.” I squee-zed her hand back, even though I was saying this to her, my mind was far away.
“It’s not okay. I hate seeing you like this. Just…don’t think about him for now. Think of…of Channing Tatum in this movie right now. Think of his S-xy as-s instead.”
I managed a laugh but that was all she could get out of me. Even Channing Tatum’s delectable face and b©dy could not succeed into ma-king me forget about seeing Kyle a moment ago.
I mean, this was the first time seeing him since…since, well graduation day. Although, graduation was meant to be a joyous occasion, it was one of the worst moments of my life.
That was because, chance, had once decided to make our surnames begin with the same first three letters and this meant that I had to sit and stand next to Kyle for the next two hours or so. I have to say that I’ve never twiddled my thumbs or pla-yed with the material of my go-wn as much as I did in those hours during the ceremony.
His abs£nce had been painful since the breakup during that week, but being next to his pres£nce, feeling his familiarity and just plainly seeing him was absolute torture.
We didn’t attempt any form of conversation during those two hours of waiting until our names were called and I had to say it was the most awkward silence I’ve ever been with anyone. The only thing he managed out of it was to give me a small, emotionless smile when he first saw me and after that it was North Pole between us.
Not only did I suffer throu-gh the ceremony, but I had to bore taking pictures with him next to our friends and families. My feelings for him were pres£nt at the surface, even though he was the reason my heart was breaking every time I glanced at him. When Robert Reyes didn’t show up for the ceremony, I wanted nothing more than to hvg him and make him forget the lowlife. He didn’t show it, but I could tell Robert Reyes’ abs£nce affected Kyle more than he wanted it to.
My father, fully unaware of what happened between us, had invited Kyle in our circle. This meant that I had to sit next to him at the back seat of our family car while driving to Sav’s parents home where they’d threw a barbecue for friends and family.
It was there that I last saw him.
Three weeks have pas-sed since then. Four weeks and six days since our break up.
I decided to skip the internsh!pbecause going there was going to be a constant reminder of why I wasn’t happy. My parents accepted and were sort of relieved for once about this decision. I found out that they actually didn’t want me to go. They wanted me to spend the last summer with them.
Teddy travelled to New York about a week ago, when a t©p client hired him as a lawyer for what was one of the biggest cases he’s ever been in. So for last week it has been just me and Kelly. Even though I stayed in my room working throu-gh the error of my heart, she still encouraged me each day to go out, eat more, spend time with her and take long walks.
Sav helped her out with this encouragement. And though it surprised me at first, she was there for me throu-gh thick and thin. These were the times that I truly appreciated her no nons-en-se attitude.
The movie finished sooner than I expected, but I guess it was because I could not st©p thinking about him. Sav was squealing excitedly beside me while going over Channing Tatum’s h0t intense scenes.
“You have a b©yfri£nd.” I scolded her as we exited the theatre room.
I couldn’t help but let my eyes roam again in search for that one p@rticular person. Even just to get a glimpse of him, would have been enough for me.
“I’m aware of that, thank you very much Captain Obvious.” She rolled her eyes.
“Uh-huh. So mean you should st©p lvsting over other men?” I arched an eyebrow as I turned to her after giving up my search. I was not going to see him again. I didn’t count on it.
“It’s Channing Tatum, Keya. He’s basically the source to every women’s fantasies.”
She explained.
“He’s married and has a daughter.” I pointed out.
“Yeah well, I’m not the first to envy Jenna Dewan freaking Tatum.” She grumbled.
My chuckle was muffled. I linked arms with her as we exited the Cinema.
We strolled around town, window shopping as well as actual shopping. When I suggested we go to a book sto-re, she didn’t object thinking a little re-ading was healthy for me, however, when I took out ‘How to fix a broken heart’ she put her foot down. She dragged me out of the sto-re right before I even had the time to check the book out.
“I don’t know whether to beat you s-en-seless or just plainly dig out that heart of yours and show it you that it’s still alive, beating as normal.” She sputtered as we walked back to the parking lot.
I pouted. “But-”
“No, buts Keya. Not even a book or a tv show or a movie or a sad song can help you throu-gh this. It’s the people that love you that can.”
I smiled wryly. “Did the Savannah Biers, just admitted me she loves me in her own way? Oh my, I should probably watch out for a flying pig next.”
She sma-cked my hand. “I’m serious, Keya. You have to st©p relying on objects. They’re not gonna help you get over him.”
“I know, Sav.” I nodded at her with my smile. “I love you, too.”
She pu-ll-ed me into yet another one of her out-of-the-blue constricting hvgs. “I do love you Keya. I hope you always know that.”
“I do.” I hvgged her back, smiling against her shoulder.
“Okay. Now get off me, I don’t want catch your heartache. It may be contagious.” She joked.
I shook my head as I laughed, for once since waking up in the morning I felt a lot better about myself.
I knew there were still issues I had figure out about Kyle. I’ve had about a month to think about his reason for breaking up with me and still I couldn’t un-derstand it. I had my doubts that he could ever want me again, but these doubts still didn’t st©p me from loving him.
I didn’t know when I was going to be re-ady to speak to him; to finally sit down and reconcile our friendsh!p. I knew he was waiting for me to, as he’d said before, he will always be there for me as a friend. All I had to do during this course was to figure out exactly how I could st©p loving him the way he didn’t love me.
To be continued…
Does Love really end like this? Can Kyle and Keya still be together and who is still curious about the spy?