My mind as a teenager
I woke up the next day feeling different. The
room was somehow crowded; my sister and
her husband,Vivian,Ifunanya and her brother.
My mum was also there. They were all
smiling while they took turns to carry Kamsi.
I greeted them and they all responded and
cheered happily,wishing me a happy
birthday. Mum took me to the bathroom and
helped me shower,using hot water and
napkin in the right places while I screamed
out in pain.
Around 11,Vivian,Ifunanya and her brother
left promising to come back the next day. I
dressed up and escorted them downstairs. I
was about coming back upstairs when I
heard someone call my name. I turned
around and there was my roommate. She
was with four of my friends and they had a
birthday cake with them. I hugged each one
of them while they complimented that I didn’t
look like someone who just delivered.
I asked them how they knew where I was and
they said that they had called early that
morning and mum picked the call and gave
them directions. I was happy to know that I
had friends who would hit the road for me at
We all walked upstairs. They greeted my
mum and my sister’s together with her
Conversations started and finally,the cake
was cut. Mum said it wasn’t time for me to
eat any cake. I was pissed. Why shouldn’t I
eat my own birthday cake(and I love cakes
eh)? Mum gave the remainder to Ella,asking
her to take it home and preserve it that when
I’m discharged,I’ll eat my share.
We spent four days in the hospital. My dad
kept calling asking after me and my baby.
We were finally discharged and before we
left,mum clearly told me that I’ll br£@stfeed
my baby for just six months,after that,the
baby automatically belongs to her and my
dad. I had mixed feelings about it.
But when she began to explain that making
Kamsi stick to me would make my youth
slow and deprive me from a lot of things,I
We got home and people kept on trooping
into the house to see my baby,even the ones
I knew and the ones I didn’t know. Some
came with gifts,others came with money but
none of them pleased my mum the more than
the fact that they all called her “youngest
She would dance around each time they
called her that. My siblings weren’t left out.
They all wanted to be the only ones carrying
My dad came home a week after we were
discharged. He called me to his room and
started a long sermon. He was angry that I
got pregnant without telling anybody. He also
made me promise him that I would never
make that kind of mistake again. He repeated
the same thing that I would stop
br£@stfeeding Kamsi after six months and go
back to school.
A month later,I was at the balcony,mum now
takes Kamsi to the shop. I was home alone
when my phone rang. I looked at my
phone,the number I had off heart was
displayed on it……. Raymond.
I got angry immediately;
Me: What do you want?
Raymond: I want to see you
Me: For what?
Raymond: Please I just want to see you. Its
Me: I’m at home. Come to the house.
In less than 20 minutes,Raymond was in my
house. I opened the gate and he walked in.
I didn’t let him into the house. We just stood
beside the gate
Me: What is it?
Raymond: Can I see her?
Me: See who?
Raymond: My baby.
I felt disgusted. I was angry but I tried not to
Me: Please her name is Kamsi and she is not
Raymond: What do you mean? I want to see
Me: She travelled with mum.
Raymond: Don’t you br£@stfeed her?
Me: Like it’s your business?
Raymond: Fine. Let me see her pictures.
Me: I don’t have any on my phone (when I
always make sure I take pictures of her each
time she takes her bath)
Raymond: Look,I know I hurt you and I’m
sorry. I just want to know what she looks
Me; its not possible. You can’t see her.
Raymond: You don’t want me to see her?
You won’t like it when I react.
He was about making a threat. In order not
to let him,I had to say something.
Me: Please leave now. I don’t have any of her
pictures but once she is three months old,I’ll
s£nd you some.
He looked like he had a lot more to say but I
finally made him leave. I locked up and went
inside. What if he confronts my mum? I had
to do something.
I’ve told mum that Kamsi’s father was dead
and so shall it remain.
My mind as a teenager Episode 81
My mind as a teenager