My mind as a teenager
I remained at home till my sister and mum
went back to Enugu to complete the omugwo
Dad himself went back to Jos. I breathed a
sigh of relief as I was now alone with my
siblings and they don’t know what was
happening. My dad had strictly warned me
not to go back to Enugu because my
persistence made them begin to think I had
an ulterior motive.
I stopped going out. Vivian tried to get
assess to me but each time,my siblings
would tell her I had gone back to school. Two
months later,mum came back. Immediately
she saw me,she started crying.
There was no point hiding things from her
again because my stomach was there for her
I joined in the tears,not because I was
pregnant but because I didn’t know what to
She went into her room and locked herself
up. My sister called me immediately;
Ella: Nne what is the meaning of this nau?
Don’t you have a conscience? Why didn’t you
tell me? What if something had happened to
I’m disappointed o. Better go to mum now
before she looses it.
She hung up before I could say anything. I
quickly went and knocked on mum’s room. I
opened the door and saw her on the floor.
She was crying bitterly
I sat down very close to her. She looked at
me and went into sobbing.
Mum: Why did
marriage? Do you know how your father will
take this news? He will throw the both of us
out of the house. Nne why? Is it that you are
afraid of what?
You would have confided in me or your
How old is it now?
Me; Mummy I’m sorry. I thought I could
handle it on my own.
Mum; Handle what? Don’t let me slap you.
How old is it?
Me; Nine months.
My mum passed out immediately. I had to go
and call Felix who helped in reviving her. I
cried and begged her to forgive me. She
wouldn’t cry again but at the same time,she
wouldn’t take her eyes off my stomach.
Mum: Rose nine months? No medical care,no
baby items. Jesus! Rose what did I do to
you? Are you the first to go to the university?
Look at your sister. She went to school and
not only has her certificate, she has a
husband and a son. Oya,call him. Call him
Mum: If you know who got you pregnant,call
I waited for something to happen.
Maybe an earthquake. But none of them
happened. I thought of what to do but
nothing came to my mind.
I remembered again how Raymond stopped
replying my messages or has never bothered
to call. Tears fell from my eyes.
Mum: Did he deny
I’ll call him and curse his entire generation.
Me: Its not necessary mum.
Mum: What do you mean by its not
I paused,trying to perfect my wicked lie so it
will be balanced. She repeated her question
Me: If he were here,he would have come to
take me away. If he
being here to tell you mum.
I cried as I spoke. The tears were real
because my words were exactly what I felt at
Mum: Then where is he?
Me: He’s dead mum.
I broke down immediately. My mum quickly
rushed to my side and held me tenderly. I
cried myself to sleep in her arms.
I woke up to the sound of my phone. I looked
around and I was in my mum’s room.
I remembered my lies and started crying
My phone rang again and I looked at it. It
was a call from my dad. I started looking for
my mum and found her in the kitchen. I
showed her the phone and she picked it and
put it on loudspeaker;
His voice was calm
Mum: She’s sleeping.
Dad: I want to talk to her.
Mum: I’ll call you back when she wakes up.
Dad: Please take care of her.
His words got to my heart and the tears
made their way out of my eyes. I watched
mum respond to all of his questions and
finally ended the call.
Me: Did you tell him?
Mum: Yes. Stop crying. We’ll go to the
hospital tomorrow. You need to be registered
as you’ll be in labour this month. Go and take
your bath and stop crying. We’re all with you.
Me: But sisi is . . . . . .
Mum: Ella is not angry anymore. We just
regret that you didn’t tell us so we’re all
praying that nothing happens to you or
Me: Who’s Kamsi?
My mum laughed.
Mum: That’s the name I’ve decided to give
the baby. Be it boy or girl.
She opened her arms and I went into them.
Mum: Don’t worry. God knows why it should
be this way. Go and take your bath.