My journey in life Episode 34 & 35

Was this really going to be it? I asked myself. After meeting Ogechi over five years back un-der an unusual circu-mtance, getting acquainted with her, eventually falling in love with her and desiring to spend a lifetime with her only to be separated by Cynthia? This wasn’t really happening. Heaven knows I can’t live without Ogechi, neither can she live without me. Since we hadn’t died from the fast, perhaps this was another way to ensure that we died anyways. Sweet loving Ogechi would never have the blood of another in her hands, not even for my love. She wasn’t going to let me talk her into letting Cynthia die so that we could remain together. Not that I was capable of doing such anyway, but I didn’t find it easy to let Ogechi go just like that. After a little argument between us, we concluded that Cynthia’s life was as precious as ours and couldn’t be wasted. Ogechi proceeded to denounce her relationsh!pwith me just to bring Cynthia back to life. Indeed, that action was going to bring her back to life but wasn’t going win her a place in my heart. As a matter of fact, not even a single feeling for Cynthia was going to be nurtured by heart anymore.
My mother would attest to the fact that I never shed such tears all throu-gh my days as a lad, even when I was drastically punished for my deliberate childish foolishness. But I did so for the loss of Ogechi’s love. I cried a river. In fact, I cried a lagoon. As Ogechi walked towards Cynthia, I felt pain all over my b©dy as though someone was inflicting them on me. Ogechi had cried until her face turned into something I wouldn’t recognize if I hadn’t known she was the one there. Despite the hurt we would go throu-gh after she denounces our love, we still went on with to do so. Ogechi held onto Cynthia’s hands, but found it very difficult to say the words that would put a permanent end to our union. She turned to look at me, and I gave her a look that depicted “If you decide to change your mind, I will be solidly behind you. Nevertheless, I’m not asking you to. But I really wish you would, though I can’t have her blood on my hands as well.”
Ogechi opened her mouth and spoke the words before it was too late. If she had hesitated further, Cynthia would have rested in peace. Just as the bright light said, Cynthia was up in less than 300 seconds after Ogechi spoke the following words; TODAY, I RENOUNCE MY LOVE FOR JESUSBOY FOREVER. HE’S ALL YOURS CYNTHIA. Cynthia’s eyes were all dull and she seemed very weak. Ogechi was the last image she beheld before she pas-sed out, and was also the first she beheld on her return from coma. On seeing her, she got upset and began acting weird on the be-d. All efforts to calm her down proved futile and at a point it seemed as though she wanted to pas-s out again. I asked Ogechi to go and get the doctors while I watch her until their arrival. When Ogechi left the room, Cynthia’s pulse, which was on the high reduced ra-pidly to normal. She looked at me in a way that made me feel so bad about myself for ma-king her go throu-gh that. I couldn’t stand it anymore, and I wished the doctors would just arrive and take over so that I could at least get away from her for a little bit.
The doctors arrived just in time to attend to her. But as soon as she saw Ogechi again, she started breathing heavily as though she was engaged in some sort of marathon race. Obviously, she had woken up from coma to become alleged to Ogechi. If only she knew the sacrifice she made just to get her out of that coma. She was going to know anyway, because I wasn’t going to hesitate telling her about it as soon as she was back on her feet.
The doctors took her to a separate room to do
whatever they did to her to ensure full recovery. I and Ogechi remained in the hospital with Cynthia, although Ogechi never went into her room to see her again. But she decided she wasn’t going back to Oklahoma until Cynthia was confirmed okay by the doctors. Then she would leave, never to return to me again.
Sometime later, Cynthia recovered fully and was re-ady to leave. I went in to see her the night preceding her discharge day and met her laughing to the Tom and Jerry pranks. She was back indeed. She saw me come in, but took her eyes off me and continued watching TV. She didn’t want to talk to me, at least not then. I went ahead to seat on a chair beside her be-d, looking straight to her face as she seriously concentrated on the TV. Apparently, Tom and Jerry did her more good than my pres£nce in that room, so I stood up and made to leave her for the time being. But when I got to the door she called me back.
“I thought you c@m£ to see me?” she asked.
“Yeah, but it seems like you’re re-ady to see me yet. So I’ll just leave and come back later. By the way, the doctor says you’ll be discharged tomorrow.”
“I know that alre-ady. So do I take it that you c@m£ here to tell me that?” she asked sarcastically.
“Not exactly” I replied.
“Then proceed to the reason you c@m£.”
“I just c@m£ to check on you Cynthia.”
Oh’ really? How very nice of you. You’re such a darling” she said sarcastically.
“I’m glad you’re back.”
“Yeah, I am too. I couldn’t afford to remain in coma for longer than necessary. I only nee-ded time dissolve the pains your betrayal caused me.” She said with a harsh tone.
“I’m really sorry for everything Cynthia.”
“Save it!” she retorted, motioning me with her hand to shut up. “You didn’t come here to piss me off, did you?”
“Not at all. I think I better leave now.”
“You better do” she replied angrily.
I got out of the room feeling like a little boy who had just been scolded by his mother. I advised Ogechi to go before Cynthia sees her in order to prevent a scene when they met each other. Ogechi refused. She wanted to see Cynthia for the last time and have a word with her before leaving. I guess that would have given her some peace from the waves that had b!own in the past days. I couldn’t do anything to prevent what I knew was coming, so I prepared my heart to contain it when it c@m£.
As I and Ogechi sat there waiting for the morning to come, we were like total strangers to each other. We couldn’t even talk about anything else than Cynthia. The effect of the renouncement c@m£ into pl@yquic-kly, and we suddenly felt like there had been nothing going between us. That happened because of the situation we found ourselves then, coupled with the fact that we knew we weren’t going to be together again. So we just began acting like normal acquaintances. It wasn’t quite long before the whole emotions c@m£ back, and the feeling of “I CAN’T LET YOU GO” c@m£ R0m-ncing our souls again. Of course only one thing would follow afterwards; TEARS. All we could do was say goodbye repeatedly in a number of ways and in the most ro-mantic ones ever. That was the most we could do. All our struggles, all our love, care and all we shared c@m£ to an end that faithful night. That made me remember the statement that was made by the light she saw; THAT WHAT IS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE IS GOOD FOR THE GANDER DOESN’T MEAN THAT THE GOOSE AND THE GANDER SHARE THE SAME DESTINY” Perhaps the light was right after all.
The next morning Cynthia c@m£ out all prepared to leave only to see us sitting together. Ogechi aro-se from her seat immediately she saw Cynthia and paid her homage.
“Will you plea-se save all these acts? I know you have ulterior motives of being here, perhaps to try and destroy me again. But you’ll surely fail, just like you did the first time.” Cynthia said to Ogechi.
“Cynthia, I ask only one thing of you. plea-se permit me to have a word with you, and I promise you’ll never see me again in your lifetime. I mean never. But plea-se grant me audience. I’ve got some explanation to do.”
Cynthia made a displ@yof madness, ma-king clear her unwillingness to converse with Ogechi for even one second. She had developed so much hatred for her and couldn’t stand her sight. She rained abuses on Ogechi but Ogechi didn’t retaliate in any way. I took her away from Cynthia’s pres£nce and urged her to leave before things got worse. She obliged, and I esc-rted her to a cab that drove her to the airport where she flew back to Oklahoma. Even though Ogechi had left and we couldn’t be with together again, I planned on visiting her later on to separate in a more worthy way. I didn’t have an exact picture of the supposed “MORE WORTHY WAY” but I sure wanted to see her again for once before dep@rting forever.
I returned to Cynthia who was alre-ady waiting for me by the car along with the doctors who were still trying to calm her down, as she was still ranting words at Ogechi who had long left. I was mistaken to have thought her hatred was limited to Ogechi. But when I c@m£ back and said to the doctors; “Thank you very much docs, I’ll take it from here.” Cynthia unleashed hell on me.
“You’ll take it from where?” she asked with raised eyebrows. “And to where?” she asked again.
“Cynthia, I surely deserve whatever you give to me. Abuse me, call me names, spit on my face and do whatever to me, I’ll take it. But plea-se don’t do it out here. Let’s at least go home first. We’ll take time to talk about it there. Just don’t stress yourself out anymore. You know you just got discharged. The last thing you nee-d right now is stress. Let’s go home.”
“Oh’ how sweet of you” she said sarcastically.
However, we got home after much words and augments. She nagged at me until we got home. Her maids were so excited on her return that they organized a little p@rty to welcome her back. It was just the four of us pres£nt in that p@rty. After everything, Cynthia left to her room without saying a word to me. I went up to meet her and talk to her about everything, and also ask for her forgiveness in the areas I had wronged her. I got to her room and met her lying on her be-d and fli-pping throu-gh the pages of a fashion magazine. She behaved as though she had not noticed my pres£nce in that room. I knew she was still mad at me, and I was there change that and return things between us to normal before telling he all she had to be told concerning “I & Ogechi.” I called on her twice and got no response from her. But when I called on her the third time, with her eyes still fixed on that magazine she opened her mouth and said to me; GO GET YOU THINGS re-adY. YOU’RE LEAVING MY HOUSE TOMORROW.
However, we got home after much words and augments. She nagged at me until we got home. Her maids were so excited on her return that they organized a little p@rty to welcome her back. It was just the four of us pres£nt in that p@rty. After everything, Cynthia left to her room without saying a word to me. I went up to meet her and talk to her about everything, and also ask for her forgiveness in the areas I had wronged her. I got to her room and met her lying on her be-d and fli-pping throu-gh the pages of a fashion magazine. She behaved as though she had not noticed my pres£nce in that room. I knew she was still mad at me, and I was there change that and return things between us to normal before telling he all she had to be told concerning “I & Ogechi.” I called on her twice and got no response from her. But when I called on her the third time, with her eyes still fixed on that magazine she opened her mouth and said to me; GO GET YOU THINGS re-adY. YOU’RE LEAVING MY HOUSE TOMORROW.
“What? You’re asking me to leave your house?”
“Yes I am. And I’m dead serious about it. Park your stuff and leave my house. I can’t afford to share the same roof with an ingrate like you anymore.”
“Has it gotten to this?
“Yes it has. It has even gotten beyond this. The sooner you leave the better for us all. I would so like it if you vamoose this very night.”
“Cynthia. Do you have any idea what you’re saying?” I…..(Cynthia cuts me in with a yell, as she rises from her be-d to face me as though re-ady to get physical)
“Shut your tra-p young man! I’m asking you to leave my house and you stand here questioning me? What p@rt of LEAVE MY HOUSE don’t you un-derstand? I give you till tomorrow morning to leave. Period!”
She pushed me out of the way and left the room to the sitting room in anger. That was when my ego, which had been heavily slee-ping for years awoke and got the better p@rt of me. I was angry indeed for the first time with Cynthia and was going to unleash it on her, not in retaliation but because her words had really provoked me. How could she ask me to leave her house? Now she’s calling me an ingrate? And all these were because she found out there was a girl I treasured and obviously preferred to her. Cynthia had done me great good, that fact is certain, but was I to repay her by becoming her man. I didn’t even ask her to be my girl in the first place. I would have anyway. As a matter of fact, I was re-ady to, but the process was interrupted and I ended up not saying any word to that direction till this very day. Maybe she hadn’t taken that to heart yet or wasn’t even aware I didn’t. Now she has robbe-d poo on my face and I had to let out my heart to her before leaving her house for good.
I paced down to meet her in the sitting room and she stood up against me to continue with her bitter ranting but I cut her in before she could say a word.
“Shut up and listen to me Cynthia” I said with much anger. “You may think of me to be worse than the devil. I have no problems with that. But I pray you don’t come across another human that will make you see this devil as a god. As far as you’re concerned, I have betrayed you, deceived you, hurt you, stole from you, used you, and did the ugliest things to you. But I would have you know that all the while I’ve done nothing but prevent myself from taking advantage of you in all the ways I would have if I was as bad as you have labeled me to be. Now tell me Cynthia; you gave me access to your bank account which contains all your money. Did I ever withdraw any money from there without telling you about it first? And in these past two years, have I withdrawn anything close to 5% of the money in that account, yet you call me a robber. Did I oblige when you offered to buy me a car in addition to the one you bought me ba-rely three months after I c@m£ to America? Yet you call me an extortionist. Did I ever give in to any of those rosy proposals of yours that required a fortune to acquire? Most of all, did I take advantage of your feelings for me to make love to you as much as you wanted me to? I even took overdose of slee-ping pills just to pas-s out and avoid tempering with your b©dy unduly because I couldn’t tell you to your face that I wasn’t going to do it. Maybe you would have s£nt me out of your house if I told you so. Who knows?
Now why do you think I did all that? I knew my heart belonged to another girl and was trying ha-rd to retrieve it from her and make it yours permanently. Unfortunately I couldn’t. So am I to blame for that. Cynthia, the only wrong I’ve done to you, which I will ever regret, is not telling you about my relationsh!pwith Ogechi beforehand. Of course I didn’t tell you because I didn’t see the nee-d to. Even you Cynthia have not told me anything about your past relationsh!ps have you? I wasn’t really expecting to see Ogechi again and was in the process of getting to love you sincerely when she popped off and I couldn’t just let her go. C’mon, you know how it is when a man’s heart is involved in this thing called love. And now that I ask for a chance to tell you how it all started between her and me so that you can un-derstand where we’ve come from, you don’t want to listen. Instead you call me names that are unfitting for even s-en-seless things.”
“I will call you more because those are what you are” she retorted, nothing but a sick nee-dy coward. Oh, so you expect me to thank you for not doing all that to me right? Alright then, kudos Jesusboy. You were such an angel to have not extorted money from me, to have rejected my kind offers, and not ma-king love to me. I think I should recommend you for Guinness book of records. You’ve really done well to Cynthia. Haha, done well to Cynthia my foot! What about The Masters’ Degree Program you’re rounding up three months from now? Was it your doing? Weren’t you in some local radio station pres£nting junk programs before I suggested you come over and further your studies abroad? That aside. What about the movie directors and music producers you now work with and make cool dollars which prevented you from spending more than 5% of the money in my bank account? Did I not connect you to them? I have housed you and taken care of you like I was your wife, and you were enjoying the feeling all along. Now you stand here to count what and what you didn’t do to hurt me. Wasn’t it to your advantage? And am I not hurt now? You are nothing but a silly ingrate who couldn’t even do the least thing as repay my kindness”
“And how else was I supposed your kindness? I retorted. By slee-ping with you? eeh Cynthia? “Would you consider S-x a perfect way of showing appreciation for your kindness?”
I walked close to her with an evil countenance and held her violently by the arm and asked angrily;
“IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, HUH?” I asked as I shook her back and forth a little bit violently.
“Let me go, you brute” she plead. “You’re hurting me.”
I pushed her down to the sofa with much anger in my heart.“You want to get la-id don’t you?” I asked with that same evil countenance as I un-bu-ttoned my shi-t like a child m©l£ster who was about to prey on his victim.
“Get away from me” Cynthia yelled and made to get up from the sofa, but I held her back and pushed her down more violently than ever.
It was clear to her that the beast in me had awakened by reason of her harsh words. She reached for her phone and dialed 911, but I collected the phone from her and smashed to pieces on the floor. How could she have called me such names? Now I was going to show her a displ@yof those characters she called me. When Cynthia saw me smash her phone, it was obvious to her that I was out of control and was capable of anything without a second thought. Nevertheless she still tried to pu-ll some silly lame stunts that couldn’t take her anywhere.
“Get away from me. I’m going to sue you if you dare t©uçh me.” She said with much apparent fright.
“So now you want me to get away from you?” I asked sarcastically. “Isn’t this what you always wanted? I’m leaving your house tomorrow anyway. And I can’t leave without appreciating you for all the good you’ve done to me. Woes betide me if I do that. And since S-x is your idea of a worthy appreciation, you’re gonna get it ha-rd from me here and now.”
“Jesusboy plea-se don’t do this. I don’t want it.” She cried out. “St©p it”
“Did you just call me Jesusboy? I thought you said I was the devil? And now you don’t want it anymore? It wouldn’t be fair of me to leave your house tomorrow without appreciating you. So let’s get down to business at once!”
“No oooooo” Cynthia screamed. “plea-se st©p this foolishness.”
I ignored her plea-s, raised her up from that sofa and pushed her ha-rd against the wall. Cynthia had tempered with my person by calling me “nee-dY,” amongst the many other unwholesome names she called me, one of which depicted something like me NOT BEING MAN ENOUGH due to not slee-ping with her. What I was doing was no way of showing her how man enough I was, but I was angry. And you know that thing they say about anger; IT MAKES YOU SEE WHITE AS BLACK.
She tried to struggle with me but surrendered when she got weak and couldn’t do much to save herself anymore. She looked in my eyes and saw blood coldness and evil determination. She may have wanted love ma-king from me, but definitely not from the way I had transformed to. She began shedding tears immediately and her mouth gave way to tender plea-s;
“What you’re about doing will rob you of the honor and reputation you’ve built for yourself over the years. Anyone who hears it will despise you and you’ll definitely end up in jail for forcing yourself to get something I had given to you freely for countless times and you rejected. Think of that before you proceed. No matter how much my words hurt you; they can’t be compared to the hurt I felt when I discovered that the guy I had given my heart to was truly in love with another girl. I nearly lost my life in the process. Have you forgotten that alre-ady? No woman in my position will smile at you after being throu-gh such ordeal as I have in the past weeks. No matter how angry you are at me right now, you should also consider my pain. I loved you with all my heart and was re-ady to give the world for you. Calling you names and throwing angry words at you are the least I can do right to express the immeasurable pain I feel inside of me. But if you want to manhandle me and r@p£ me afterwards, go ahead. Just remember that it would only add to the evil you have done to me for the past years. I pray I die in the process. That way I get to skip the misery and depression I would live with if remain alive.
The many striking statements Cynthia made killed my will to proceed; I set her free and walked away from her to my room to cool off. She went to her room also and changed from the rented nightie into something else. I flashed back on my life and saw that though I hadn’t really done a lot to jeopardize my future, I had done a little to change a great p@rt of it. I started crying as I thought about the supposed mistakes I had made all the while and the consequences that were to follow. I lost Ogechi my love, and stood no chance with Cynthia. These two ladies were the best I had ever seen in the world. Losing them both wasn’t going to do much good to my marital affair. Who was going to win my heart like Ogechi? And who was going to love and care like Cynthia? I had lost two precious stones and may have to make do with fine wood all my life. Well, that’s the best I thought I could find besides them. But then, I crossed Cynthia out completely, for she had humiliated me by asking me to leave her house. The only one I was truly losing remained Ogechi, the only one I ever truly loved. The denouncement didn’t permit us to be together again, so I guessed I just had to finish up with my program and proceed to start a new life somewhere in Hollywood. Thanks to Cynthia, I was now financially stable and well connected. It was just a matter of coming in contact with time and chance to hit stardom and live the life I had always dreamed of living, and also have everything I ever de-sire except the one thing I had always had; LOVE