STORY BY DEBORAH PAUL
MY DESIRE
EPISODE ONE
Sometimes we look down on our parents, we insult them for not being able to meet up and be like their mates.
We judge them thinking being an adult is something easy and sample, you look at it as what’s there that is difficult in making money?
we don’t really know or even un-derstand the difficulty of being an adult until you become one yourself
I in particular was one of those silly people that thought being an adult is simple until I actually became an adult and had no one to back me up.
my name is Sonia, sonia Ezekiel, I’m the only daughter of my parents…. from my story you can tell which cla-ss to place me.
I remember one day that I was sent out of school with some other people, we weren’t just sent, we were flogged and sent out…. I cried home, I was angry not at the teachers but at God and my parents… why didn’t he make money when his mate were making money? where was he when God was blessing those other people’s parents?
I was angry, I hated him and I hated God for counting my parents out of his blessings
I got home angrily, I didn’t say a word of greeting to either my father or my mum who actually came to welcome me, asking me why I was back so early.
I ignored the both of them and went inside, I entered our small scattered building and locked my parents outside.
I could hear them discussing from outside, mum was asking dad if she knew what was wrong with me.
But my dad said “maybe she fought in school and they sent her home”
That angered me even more, of all things he could think of me is “fighting”? I was at home because he wasn’t capable of being a father, I’m at home because he couldn’t take up his responsibility….. I opened the door and stood in front of him, my anger had increa-sed from 40% to a 100%
SONIA
(my hand was folded in a fist)
I’m at home not because I fought with anybody, I’m at home because you didn’t work ha-rd like your mate dad….. dad, mum, why did the both of you come together to give birth to me if you know I will only come to this world to suffer? I have never enjoyed the privilege children enjoy, even school, my mates always make jest of me and laugh at me anytime dad comes for our PTA meeting….. I hate being born, no I mean I hate being born into this family….. the exam is at the corner and I’m already out of school, last term I couldn’t write my exams because I couldn’t pay for my exams fees, same thing is going to happen this term.
I poured out my heart out to my parents, most especially to my father, I could see how pain and bittered his looked but I didn’t care, I kept talking until mum came closer and started to hit me on my back.
MUM
will you stop this nonsense right now Sonia, do you think it’s normal to talk down on your dad like this?
SONIA
mum you can hit me all you want,no pain you are inflicting on my that is worse than the one I feel in my heart right now.
My father didn’t utter a word, he dropped the Cutla-ss in his hand and went away looking sad.
MUM
you see what you have course? you think your father enjoy being poor? do you think I your mother like to put on rags? you think I enjoy being laughed at whenever I enter the market? why can’t you be un-derstand Sonia? yes as a parents we know we have failed you, but do you need to ru-b it on our faces and make us feel useless?
(her eyes was teary, soon it dropped)
Ever since people have being laughing at your father and I because of our situation, we have never for once felt bad or came home looking like the world is going to fall…. but hearing this bitter words from our own child, it breaks our hearts….. I hope you grown beautifully well, I hope you make money in a legit way so you children won’t have to ask you a question like this.
She said and went out, I was too angry, I didn’t care, I sat down on the empty chair beside me.
Later that night, I was already asleep, I didn’t eat before going to bed, I was still pissed off…. I was pressed so I woke up, to go outside to pee, I heard voices from the backyard so I moved closer to hear what was happening.
MUM
my Lord, you shouldn’t be out here at this time, it’s already late…. are you still angry about what your daughter said? she’s just a child, she doesn’t mean anything she said.
EZEKIEL
I’m not angry at Sonia, which father would? I’m here asking God why he truly decided to bless other people while he left me out….. why did he bless us with a daughter like Sonia, she’s very brilliant and smart yet he forgot to give us money to use in raising her up.
my mum did everything to calm my dad down so he wouldn’t curse God, she knet beside him and held his hands
MUM
my Lord, you can’t question God, non of us can…. soina is only but a child, a time will come where she will un-derstand everything.
EZEKIEL
you should go inside and sleep my dear, the weather is too cold.
That’s one thing I love about my dad, even without money, he was caring and loving….. always putting others first before himself.
my mum refused to go inside, dad couldn’t control his emotions anymore so he cried, he cried bitterly that my anger disappeared, I felt bad, I hated myself for coming to say all those ru-bbish, I started to cry too, but in silent, I had not only hurt my parents I had become the reasons why the question God and the reason why they cry….. mum joined dad too and cried…. I couldn’t take it anymore so I ran back inside, I promised to apologize to my father the next day…… but that was the last day I had to see my father.
Because the next day mum woke up very early and went out with some other woman to clean the church since it was Tuesday and there would be a program later that evening.
I was surprised when I woke up and saw that daddy was still in bed, it was unlike him, dad usually is the first to always wake up in the house…… I came down from the bed and knelt beside my dad.
SONIA
good morning dad
(I greeted but he didn’t answer me)
I didn’t mind anyways, I thought he was still angry with me, i held his arms but it felt so cold, I wonder why, Dad’s body is always warmer…. I didn’t noticed anything, I kept talking, I pleaded with my dad to forgive me, I pleaded with him to forgive everything I said, I even promised never to question him or God anymore….. after everything I said, dad didn’t make a sound, or say a word.
I started to cry and beg him to forgive me, little did i know that, dad wasn’t answering me because he already answered God’s call.
Yeah, my father was gone, my father died in his sleep…. and I couldn’t stop blaming myself, i was the reason why his dead, I was the reason why he slept and didn’t wake up.
STORY BY DEBORAH PAUL
MY DESIRE
EPISODE 2
Growing up wasn’t easy, after the death of my father, mum and I grew apart, she hated me and would always remind me how I killed my own father with my witchcraft
MUM
you have succeeded in killing your father, let me see how you will go to school now…. your father was poor, but he never let you starve for one day, yet you took him to your kingdom for your members to feast on him.
Those her always her words to me, those words always hurt me but she was right, I was the one who killed my father….i might not have used a knife or even poisoning or taken him to any kingdom lIke mo,ther said, but I killed him with my words..
The relationship between mother and I turn from the one people use to know to cat and rat relationship …. at ten I did everything possible for mom to accept me, to love me like she use to…. but the more I tried, the more she hated me…. always reminding me how I killed the love of her life.
There was a day she told me she wished I wasn’t born, maybe she and her husband would still be enjoying their poverty.
That day I realized something, I realized there was nothing I was going to do to make mother love me.
When I turned sixteen, things grew from bad to worse, all my mate were already throu-ghwith their secondary school and were all seeking admission to go to the university, but mine case was different, I wasn’t even opportune to finish primary school, I could only read and write because of how intelligent I am and how serious I was in cla-ss.
Mum was more concern about me getting married, so I can leave her house…. every man was a good suitor in the eyes of my mother…. she didn’t care if you had money or not, if you were broke or poor, if you were a Christian or a Muslim or even a ritual….. all she wanted was for me to leave her house.
My early seventeen mum fell very ill, so ill that she couldn’t talk for days, and didn’t leave her hed… I bought all the native herbs that i was introduce to but non worked….. just few days to the illness mum died.
that was when I realized how messes up my life has become, that moment I wished I had a broke parents than to be an orphan….. it wasn’t funny being one.
“anuty, anuty are you sleeping or what? I want to buy egg roll”
A famine voice brou-ght me back from my de-eper thought
SONIA
oh Jenny, it’s you
JENNY
I have been shouting anuty, aunty since but you didn’t answer me.
SONIA
I’m sorry my dear, I was lost in thought…. what do you want?
JENNY
I want one egg roll, and small fanta
SONIA
My good costumers, don’t worry one day I’m going to dash you one egg roll okay?
JENNY
(She smiled at me beautifully)
anuty that’s what you always tell me….. ehen, anuty I have been meaning to ask you… now that we are going on holiday how will you cope? you know the school gate will be locked?
I was about answering her question when suddenly we heard children screaming and running towards a car that was entering the school compound.
Before I could even say jack, Jenny was out of sight, she didn’t even carry the stuffs she bought she ran towards the car.
The few children that didn’t run towards the car were the ones who just started school that term, so my guess is they didn’t know who the person is.
some minutes later jenny came back, smiling like someone who won a big lottery.
SONIA
who is that man? and why were you so happy to see him.
JENNY
(she gasped in shock?)
oh my God, you don’t know that guy?
SONIA
(I was confuse by her expression)
if I know him I wouldn’t be asking you who he is
JENNY
that’s Joshua Jason….we call him uncle JJ
SONIA
that’s his name you have just told me, who is he?
JENNY
his a billionaire, I didn’t say millionaire ooh? his money is in billions….. his the CEO of jeddy’s cosmetics……rumore has it that he named his company after his late mother….. according to the rumore I heard, his mother suffered to see him throu-ghschool, but unfortunately she died the very day he hit it big.
I didn’t feel sorry for him, who was I to feel sorry for someone whose money was in billion, I should be feeling sorry for myself and not for someone else…. come to think of it, how did Jenny know so much about the young man?
SONIA
if I didn’t know any better I will think you are his younger sister, or even his girlfriend.
JENNY
(She smiled)
I follow him everywhere, on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, you name it…..
SONIA
is that how much you like him?
JENNY
I love him, did you take a good look at him? his cute, tall, Black, he has gap teeth, and dimple…..oh my God, how can one person be so perfect?
SONIA
(I was shocked)
remind me again, how old are you again?
She collected her snack and left without answering my question, I couldn’t help but shake my head in shame, children of this generation have made it look like our parents have changed, like our Africa mothers have lost their touch in training.
luckily for me I finished all my snacks, so I begged the security man to help me watch my minerals while I go to cla-ss by cla-ss to meet the teachers who are owing me for the day.
I pa-ssed the young man’s car, I didn’t greet him because what I know how to do meet in this life is to mind my business…. already I’m poor and I know there is nothing that would connect me with someone whose money flows in billion….. he was on the phone, he was talking with someone.
JOSHUA
hello, can you calm down and listen to me? good, I said the lady you sent to my house is not just old, she’s too lazy and dirty for my liking….. you won’t believe two days ago, I came back from work only to meet her and her kids eating on my couch….I mean what happened to the dinning if they must eat in my living room?
Why was I even paying attention to his conversation was what I didn’t even know…. maybe his accent, he spoke so well that I almost mistook him to be a foreigner.
JOSHUA
I don’t care what you say Peter, just get someone that is capable, I don’t care the gender … let the person be diligent in his or her work.
Was he looking for a worker? if he is then I will like to apply, after all I’m tired of living at the place I live.
Oops did I forget to mention that I left the village to the city immediately I turned twenty?
the villagers became a thorn in my flesh, they accuse me of killing my mother because she was expo-sing my secret of how I killed my father….. I tried to endure, thinking one day they will stop spreading those ridiculous rumorse about me, but two years pa-ssed yet it grew worse…..i had to flew for my life and sanity.
story continues
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