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MY COLORLESS RAINBOW.
“whaaaat! Are you serious right now by asking me such question? We are not having this conversation Becca. What has come over you…?
He barked at me angrily while getting up to his feet. But I wasn’t re-ady to let go, we must tackle this and get to the root of it. I think I have kept quiet enough and is time to really know what was going on.
“Answer the question Ohio. Don’t try to dodge from it because I’m fully re-ady to find out the truth. I deserve to know and if there’s anything you are hiding then spill it out and st©p all this childish game. Tell me and make me un-derstand, is better said out than all this confusing attitude that you kept pu-lling.
“Becca, you are seriously asking me if I’m impotent or have issue with my man-hood? And you expect me to answer you straight up? I’m trying to un-derstanding the angle all this is coming from but I can’t help but feel insulted.
“I never meant it as an insult. Is a very straight and simple question Ohio. But if you feel insulted then that’s fine. All that matter to me is to get an answer. We have being together for sometime even before you asked me to marry you. We did not get pas-s k!ss!ngand smooching which I try so ha-rd to un-derstand and respect your principles. But we are engaged to each other and in a month’ time we will be saying I do. What is still keeping us from getting inti-mate? For crying out loud we are getting married Ohio. Do your so called principles st©p you from getting inti-mate in be-d with the woman you claim to love or is there something more that I nee-d to know? Say it…I’m tired of keeping quiet. Let me know what I’m really getting into. I don’t cheat in a relationsh!pand will never think of it in marriage but aside everything, I nee-d my man to be S-xually active because I am. I have no apology for it….I’m very active and is been very difficult not getting what I want from you. You told me before that you are not a v!rg!nbut even if you are one and you never sle-pt with a woman before then start with me. I will teach you how to go about it. But I’m afraid that it maybe some terminal disease which you are trying to keep away. Knowing fully well that it will hurt our future and prevent our chances of having children, yet you want to keep it to yourself. Melinda said it even Jojo once said you maybe impotent and I’m beginning to see reason to it. Now, I believe nob©dy can have it all. You are too good to be true Ohio. I knew there must be something lacking in you because is not possible for you to have it all. I have not even seen the full size of what is beneath those p@n-t of yours….let me see it and confirm first. And also chose my battle wisely. If there is any illness or anything at all tell me….
Ohio stood watching me run my mouth like a tap water. I know he was angry but is better I say it all out and we look for a solution if there will be any.
I know I want to settle down and not just with any kind of man but a man who truly loves me and is open like my palm. I can’t take the torture of him not tou-ching me at all. I would have un-derstand if we are not in a relationsh!pbut we are getting married soon and are still doing k!ss!ngand smooching. There are things I can’t take or pretend is alright. Ohio’s health challenge which I have alre-ady concluded within me that he has. That is one of the things I can’t take or his reasons for keeping me in the dark.
Since he has refused to talk to me about it I have decided to get it out of him by f0rç£.
“I feel so disappointed that you will say all this to me. You went about discussing me with your sister and also with Jojo… your so called friend that was s£nding raunchy pictures to my phone? Becca, I never expect such from you. Our wedding is close by and I kept saying it and also pleading to you that let’s wait till we say I do before such inti-mate action. Is not easy with me too, several times, I almost give in but still have to restrain myself. I have try to make you un-derstand, I pleaded with you to trust me. All I wanted was for you to trust me Becca. I can’t believe you will say all this to my face. You have fully concluded that I have health issue, that I’m impotent…. Jeeeezzzz! I feel so disappointed in you Becca. I nee-d to cool off from all this. i will be at the swimming pool, I want to be left alone plea-se”.
He started heading to the door but I rushed ahead of him and stood by the door. Preventing him from going out.
“You can’t run away from your problem. If you are 100percent okay with your health then prove it to me Ohio. Going to swim by this time of the night, 12am is midnight alre-ady because you don’t want to open up to the truth. Ohio, we are staying here together and we will have to talk about this and I will have to see for myself and confirmed what it looks like. Let’s deal with this issue once and for all. You say you don’t like beaten around the bush but here you are, trying to run away from the main problem at hand. You promise to do everything that will make me happy but you are ma-king me sad and worried by limiting our intim-acy to certain level. All this has to end because I’m tired of enduring and pretending.
I stood by the door preventing him from walking out. He looked at me, shakes his head pathetically. He breathed de-eply before turning back. He returned to the be-d and lie down on one side.
I went back to the be-d where he was facing the wall side. I kept talking and calling his name but he did not reply.
I know he was not slee-ping, he was only angry and want to avoid me.
I probably said more than I was supposed to say but I have sto-red it in for long and letting it all out is to free my mind and make him un-derstand that I was a woman with nee-d that are beyond money.
I crawled up to him and put my hand on his b©dy, I expected him to re-move my hand but he didn’t, he just faced the wall and remain still.
He was obviously hurt but he still loves me, I can tell from his actions.
“I’m sorry honey, I didn’t mean to say all that but i…i…
I paused and try to make him turn over and look at me and he eventually did. His face was plain as he stare right back at me without words.
I wonder what he was thinking. Sometime I wish I can re-ad his mind and thoughts. He later shut his eyes again, I guess he was trying to f0rç£ sleep. I went to lie down very close to him, where I can feels his breath on my face. He open his eyes and try to turn back to the wall but I held him there and whispered “I love you” he did not reply back which was unlike him.
I k!$$£d him for some time and st©pped, I repeated the same action while putting my hands un-der his t©p.
He never responded to the k!ssbut as I kept on with it, he began to respond.
I didn’t want it to be just another round of k!ssthis time. So I decided to help him do the nee-dful that night by trying to take action of every p@rt of his b©dy that I nee-d to t©uçh just to arou-se him. I went straight to his pyjamas trou-ser. He suddenly st©pped me and pu-ll back my hands.
“Sto…st©p it Becca. I’m not in the mood for thi…..
I didn’t let him complete his word, I stubbornly refused to be intimid@t£d by his action and continued.
He tried to get up from the be-d and leave the room because I refused to let him rest but there was no going out for him.
Since he was not in the mood, I will help him get in the mood but I nee-d to see and feel what I haven’t fully seen before.
I climbe-d on t©p of him and continued my drama. It took time for him to respond again and this time he looks worn out from my disturbance, Ohio saw that I wasn’t even re-ady to let go. I looked up at the time and it was 2am but I was not given up yet despite how difficult it was.
I un-bu-ttoned my t©p and ba-re out my big che-st to him, he was looking at me as ba-re it all out.
I continued from where I st©pped and just as I hoped he began to respond better.
And with time he turned me over and gradually our cloths went all off.
It was a good night and for the first time I confirmed what I have being wanting to confirm.
After it was all over he went into the bathroom and I can hear the shower. He was bathing.
I was busy beaming with an inner smile because Ohio was perfectly okay. He was good too and I wonder why we never did it earlier.
I repla-yed the moment on my head again and smile out this time. Ohio was really good in be-d, nothing is wrong with his man-hood.
That means he has it all and still refused to flaunt it with me.
He was on a white towel when he returned to the room, I entered the bathroom after he was out and by the time I return, he has changed the be-d sheet and was laying down facing the wall again.
He never said a word to me, I wanted to crawl up to him and make him hold me but it was better to let him sleep in peace since I have satisfy my curiosity about him.
It was alre-ady 4am and very soon it will be day break. I felt bad that I disturbe-d the fine man all throu-gh the night just for him to do the nee-dful but I was happy that he finally did.
I looked at my ring f!nger which still has the diamond engagement ring. I breathed in and within a short time I sle-pt off.
When I woke up it was 9am in the morning. Ohio was neither on the be-d nor in the room. On a good day he used to bring breakfast to me in be-d but no breakfast and no good morning k!ss.
I thought of last night and bec@m£ scared and worried. Ohio was obviously angry with me. I f0rç£d him into given in to my selfish de-sires and now he was not talking to me.
He had wanted us to wait until our wedding night, he as-sured me many times that it was very close all we nee-d is to wait and I will have him all to myself. Ohio once said he cherished me so much and was not after my b©dy, he was mainly after my heart which attra-cted him to me first. He wasn’t like other men I had in the past, he was different and I deserve to be treated better. Ohio loves me beyond the physical. He want me forever. He asked me to trust him and be patient with him until our wedding is over. He will make love to me like the queen of his heart and treat me like his precious diamond. He will be with me all day and night and I don’t nee-d to get up from the be-d because, both breakfast, lunch and dinner will be brou-ght to me in be-d. He will carry me to the bathroom and give me a warm bath, dress me up take me back to the be-d.
Ohio sound very ro-mantic and I thought it was a mere fantasy. I thought he was impotent or have health challenge which he tries to cover up with all those sweet words.
I f0rç£d him last night and we ended up doing it before our wedding night and this morning he was gone.
I felt bad, I was scared of where he might have gone to. He has his reasons for not wanting to t©uçh me but I was not re-ady to see reasons with him. I wonder how he is able to control his emotions, we sleep on the same be-d, he cudd-leme up and still will not make out with me.
My ex’s would have had had two to three round before day breaks. Indeed Ohio was different and wanted to prove that to me but I was fas-ter than my shadow.
Who wouldn’t be, i try to endure and wait but sometimes I’m scared he was hiding something and my fears turn to anger anytime I think of Jojo calling Ohio Impotent or Melinda saying Ohio was too good to be true.
I walked to the kitchen, checked the dining, checked the gym, I was searching round the house for him. I wanted to check if all his cars were complete in the garage but I decided to check the basement first and he was not there. I looked out to the swimming pool and breathe a sigh of relief.
Ohio was swimming in the pool.
I ran down and straight to the pool side. I composed myself and try not to appear worried.
By the time I got there he was coming out of the water.
He took a towel and wra-pped around himself, before gr-abbing his scotch whiskey c0cktail that was on a table by the pool.
He looked up and saw me, I wanted to go and apologies to him but i held on just to know if he was in a better talking mood or not.
He drank from the cu-p before setting it down. I quietly approached him. He stood watching me with no smile on his face. I counted my every step towards him.
He greeted first before I can even say anything. He did not use his usual pet name like “Good morning honey, love, my fine Bee….like he will call me whenever he was happy. It was just a cold “Good morning” he gave me.
“I’m sorry about last night. plea-se Ohio…I’m really sorry for the things I said and for my whole actions and disturbance. I love you and was afraid that you might be keeping something away from me. I know I shouldn’t have pushed you ha-rder than you can take. And I regret doing that….
He looked away, took another sip from his cu-p. His che-st was going up and down slowly but steady. He looks calm. I guess the swimming did a lot of good for him.
“I guess you have finally confirmed that I’m not impotent and the size too… which was why you are sorry. I hope you will take back news to your so called friend and your sister, to those you sat to discuss me with. Bec…
He paused and walked to a chair to sit. He was angry. I followed him and took a sit beside him. He was still very mad at me.
“I did not sit to discuss with anyb©dy Ohio, Jojo only told me after she couldn’t succeed with you and she meant it as an insult which I never took to heart. After you refused to get inti-mate with me during our relationsh!pdays, I had to discuss with Melinda and she was only concerned for me and meant no harm. I’m not trying to make any excuse for what I said or did. I’m so sorry for everything Ohio. plea-se forgive me for hurting your feelings with my words and action and not trusting you enough.
He was quiet, and later nodded before taking another sip from the cu-p. I stood and started walking away. He called me back and said.
“Why not get into the pool and have a cool swim. I have not seeing you swim before.
“Ooh!…i…I don’t know how to swim. I will just go in and take my shower before returning to my parents’ house.
I replied back to him.
“Becca, I know you can’t swim. Is not even a big deal. Allow me to teach you…c’mon. Let me teach how to swim. I will give you one of my swimming trunk…. You can wear a singlet on t©p. I don’t want you to give excuse of not having a swimsuit. When next I go shopping, I will include yours in my list. C’mon Bee….you don’t nee-d to go today. Kontri can drop you off tomorrow if you don’t mind.
I smile as he called me one of those his pet names, “Bee” Which means he has probably forgiven me. I nodded shyly and he smile.
We went inside together and he brou-ght out new swimming trunk and left the room. I changed into them immediately and took a towel to tie around my w@!st before going out to join him.
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