? MMESOMA’S
DILEMMA ?
Chapter 9
Aunty Somebi is the biggest gossip I know, if she knows your secret then everyone knows it too, starting with my grandmother.
So I was sure that if she had heard what I told Ezinne, then my grandma would hear soon and only God knows what happens next. Maybe say that I stop a-ssociating with Dara since she was his sister, or worse warn him to stay away from me, although I know how that will go, his own stubbornness is more than mine.
This is just too bad o.
My vibrating phone made me pause my thinking, it was a Whatsapp message from my sister.
Ezinne : Obim, if you are still worried about Lanre, then stop! She cannot touch him, he is abroad na. Plus I doubt she even thinks something can happen between you guys now, shebi she only talked about your childhood crush on him.
. Why you come dey take panadol for headache wey never start?
I rolled my eyes at her message. Just wait till I give you the update, sisi.
Me : Well, I think aunty Somebi heard everything I was telling you, I saw her hurrying away when I left your room.
She did not respond immediately and Whatsapp showed she was typing, then suddenly she was not typing, and after almost 5 minutes of no response, just when I was about to head to her room, she responded.
Ezinne : Aunty Amebo strikes again. The foolish woman does not know that eavesdropping and gossiping will only land her in more trouble, she will not go and stay with her husband, it is to be listening to other people’s gist.
Me : Abeg, we have already established that she is foolish, what aew we going to do if she tells Grandma?
Ezinne: Simple, you lie
. Kukuma deny everything. Babe, you would say he is only a family friend. Is that one hard?
Ah! My sister, the evil child!
Me : Ah! Did you think of that just now?
Ezinne : Yep, and get ready to make it a convincing lie too, I would back you up if necessary.
Me : Thanks baby, you are the realest G. Now, on to other matters, we need new plans o, the ones we made before might not work since I doubt she would let Afam break off the engagement like that.
Ezinne : That is true o, but I think these plans would be better made with Dara who I believe is asleep right now like the rest of the world who plans on going to church tomorrow.
Me : is this a subtle way of telling me to go to bed?
Ezinne : Before nko, the sleep that is doing me ehn, if I don’t sleep well this night I would definitely sleep at ma-ss tomorrow and I don’t want to sleep in church.
Me : Okay, okay, I have heard, goodnight boo.
Ezinne : Night hun.
I yawned as I dropped my phone. For someone who had slept at some point today, I was sleepy again and Ezinne was right anyway, plans would be best made with Dara and of course, I could always deny Lanre if need be, I know for sure that he would un-derstand.
I don’t know when I slept off but I very well knew when I woke up and it was at 5a.m because someone – whom I do not wish to curse because today is a day set aside by the Lord for us to worship him – banged on my door and began to scream “Wake up o, any woman worth her salt ought to be awake at this time!”
And no one needed to tell me that it was aunty Kainene, only her managed to pull off such abnormal waking techniques, she was the reason my parents had begun to allow us lock our rooms from inside. When we were much younger, she would wake us up by either pouring cold water on us or making noise with a small bugle she carried about, of course, this always ensured that we were awake super early, but it also ensured that we hated her very much.
As I managed to drag myself up, anger filling my heart, my phone rang.
What is the meaning of this nonsense?!
I was about to curse whosoever was calling but it was only my sister.
“Is she mad?” she asked the second I picked.
“You are asking me? She was sent from hell to make our lives a living hell. Her daughters are trying, no wonder Naomi ran away from the house that year”, I grumbled in response.
“Come out so we can begin the day with the lord o! Even the women are not awake, such ru-bbish!” she added.
In response to that, Dubem began to cry-yell, which is a terrible combination of crying and yelling, it is very loud and very frustrating. He was still sleeping in my parent’s room and if my aunt had not woken them up before then they were definitely awake now.
“And now the baby is wide awake, this is going to be one hell of a Sunday morning for us”, I groa-n.
“Can you please shut up? It is too early for this kind of ru-bbish”, someone screamed.
“Ezinne, is it my ear or did Dozie just tell aunty Kainene to shut up?” I asked, hoping it was my ear that was deceiving
“Please let us be going for morning devotion before he does more damage and we all enter trouble”, she said and hung up.
I said a quick morning prayer, picked up my scarf and bible and headed for the family room, where I found aunty Kainene telling aunty Somebi how Dozie had disrespected her and how we had not come out of our rooms early.
I greeted them and sat down to wait for others, this would indeed be one-hell of a Sunday morning.
*****
“Welcome o, I was beginning to think we would never say morning prayers”, aunty Kainene said when everyone else had arrived.
Mom was carrying a frowning Dubem, Ezinne was trying to pacify Dozie while dad and grandma’s faces were expressionless.
“Kneel down”, dad said and we complied.
“In the name of the Father”, he began.
“And of the son and of the Holy Spirit”, we all responded.
Then out of nowhere aunty Kainene said “Come oh, Holy Spirit and fill the hearts of the faithful”
Wait first, is she leading the prayer and is she about to pray the Rosary?
“Today, I am leading the Prayer and we are not praying the Rosary this morning because we would do so in the evening during the Legion of Mary meeting”, my father explained, but my aunt was not having that.
“Paul, clearly you do not honor the Blessed vir-gin Mary, no wonder your children are so disobedient and I know that it is Uju’s fault because this is not how we were raised”, she retorted.
My parents, siblings and I, excluding sleeping Dubem, stared at her in shock.
This woman is mad; daddy should just change it for her.
See ehn, daddy does not joke with his beloved wife (who he can sell his children to protect) and the Blessed vir-gin Mary.
Now, the ever foolish Aunty Kainene just insulted my mother and my father’s devotion to the Blessed vir-gin Mary, in one breath. Also, let us not forget the very stupid way woke everyone up.
This woman though.
“Kainene, you are a guest in this house and should act as such, I would not condone such utterances from you anymore and that foolish stunt you pulled this morning should not happen again or you would hate me”, he warned.
Okay, wait, what?!
Wow! I knew he would warn her but that happened fast. Clearly, my normally tolerant father was getting fed up with his sister and her shenanigans. Ezinne and Dozie were trying not to grin and my mother was clearly in shock. My aunts and my grandma could not believe their ears and their faces said it all.
“So, you would insult me, your sister necause of your wife?” aunty Kainene asked.
Chai, this woman is sha dumb o, before nko.
“For a man shall leave his father and mother and become one with his wife”, Ezinne said, in what she probably intended to be a whisper but which everyone heard and none of the three of us could hold back our giggling.
. My aunts were speechless; grandma looked like she would faint, I wanted to high-five my sister for that sa-ssy comeback.
My father carried on with the morning devotion as though nothing had happened and my aunts behaved themselves till the end of the prayer.
Immediately the sign of the cross was made, signaling the end of prayers, my siblings and I hurried off to our rooms, it was only 5:50 and if we were lucky enough, we would manage to sneak in extra sleep.
“You people should start preparing o, you better not go back to bed, else”, my mom shouted after us.
Na so! This threat is empty biko, we are all going to get at least 30 minutes or more worth of good sleep.
I hurried into my room, shut the door and set about doing the things that would gie me extra sleep time.
First things first, set out my clothes for church. I picked out a simple A-line floral dress I had sewn last month, thank God it was ironed, I hung it up. I brou-ght out my black sandals, black scarf and black handbag. I checked to make sure my phone and power bank were getting charged, because I cannot stand having a dead phone. I placed my earpiece, hymn book, otter and purse into my bag.
Now a girl can sleep without worries.
I must have slept for up to an hour or maybe more because by the time I was up, the sun was bright and shining outside and I could hear my mother screaming Ezinne’s name. My wall clock said it was already 7:20. Wow! I had slept that long?
First ma-ss starts by 6:00 or 6:30 depending on the priest and second ma-ss would begin by 8:30 or 9:00 depending on when the first ma-ss closes. My house was not beside my church, if there was no traffic, it was a 45 minutes drive and then came the ha-ssle of navigating a parking space, but if there was traffic, then, just off your engine and get comfortable because no one would be going anywhere anytime soon, hence, my dad always wanted us out of the house by 7:30.
I hurried out of bed, had my bath and began dressing up for church. By 8:00 a.m. I was all dressed; I ensured my make-up looked as nu-de and natural as possible, because I was in no mood to explain to my father what products were on my face, my braid had been styled into a donut and I had tied my hair, I a-ssessed myself in the mirror and loved what I saw.
Now to go to church, normally I am be the last one downstairs since I am the only one who uses makeup in the house but today my aunts are still upstairs and everyone knows that their makeup, would be the reason we would be late.
Hopefully they are good at it now than they were during grandpa’s burial because I will not even agree to help them out again.
Eventually we left the house at 9:15 and only God knows when we would get to church.
Tbc…