? MMESOMA’S
DILEMMA ?
Chapter 10
My family serves a miracle working God, which is why we arrived at church somewhere in the middle of Second Reading, believe me it could have been worse, we could have shown up during offertory, or during communion sef.
Thank God, I sp-otted Dara immediately; she was seated outside the church where all the young people loved sitting, because it gave us the room to gist, take selfies or doze off without getting caught by our parents or the overzealous church warders. I signaled Dozie and Ezinne and we hurried over to the seats she had kept for us beside her, while my wonderful parents directed my aunts and grandma into the church, where they would be unable to watch us, thanks to the walls.
Such amazing parents!
“Are they the Arsenal ?” she asked, watching them enter the church . I noticed that aunty Kainene eyed us before she went out of sight.
. Clearly she was still angry about this morning’s drama and it made me happier.
“Yes o, they look very formidable ba?” I asked and she giggled.
“See ehn, no matter how annoying they are, they would turn heads with their fashion sense o, since they are new faces and people here just love to stare and talk”, she said, still chuckling.
I had to agree with her on that one, they were wearing an outfit sewed with different materials but technically the same style – an off-shoulder, floor length dress that ended in a fishtail design, and all of them tied black geles. Grandma’s dress was sewed with a white lace material; aunty Somebi’s dress was sewed with a black material with white flowery trimmings and aunty Kainene’s dress was sewn with a burgundy lace material, and all that time spent doing makeup was not in vain, apparently they had learnt very well.
“I bet you that my aunts will know more than half of the CWO and CCM women and my grandma will know the socialites in this church
. Don’t worry, just watch how well they would blend in and become the queen bees by the end of the day”, I whispered back and she giggled.
“So how has life been with the new residents?” she asked.
Ezinne, Dozie and I hissed in response.
“Ah! That bad?” she asked, clearly surprised.
“Much worse, this morning, aunty Kainene woke us up like the witch that she is”, Dozie began and went on to narrate how aunty Kainene started our morning on a terrible note.
“Okay hold up, who is who. I can point out who the grandma is but not the aunts”, she said, while trying to keep her laughter at a low volume.
Ezinne quickly gave her a description of my aunts based on their outfits and Dara’s eyes wide-ned in surprise.
“Ahan na, that woman in the burgundy dress ke, she does not look like she is capable of such o, she even has resting bitc-h face, women with that kind of face don’t do such”, she said with a giggle.
“Ehen, you have not met all the women of the world yet na”, Dozie said and she nodded with a smile.
“What I sha cannot forget is what Dozie told her when he got out of his room, there is no way she would ever forget that. Every time she hears your name, you would become Dozie, the rude boy”, Ezinne said and we giggled.
“What did he do?” Dara asked. And in turn, while keeping our voices as low as possible, we managed to update her on the stunts each of my siblings pulled. Ezinne even mentioned Dubem screaming and crying and how my father told her off; by the end of this she was speechless and totally amused.
“You guys are not serious at all o”, she said with a giggle.
“Shush, you are in the Lord’s house!”Someone behind us said in a harsh whisper, we turned in shock to find one of those wonderfully overzealous church wardens seated behind us. We recognized him because we were always getting into trouble for making noise.
“Good morning Sir”, we muttered that as we stood up for the Gospel Reading.
He stayed behind us until it was time for Offertory which means that we were not speaking except it was related to the ma-ss. My mind was however not here, I could not help but think about my engagement, how I would go back to school and last but not the last, how I would go about my Final Year Project which I had ba-rely started.
We trooped out for the offertory and walked back, by now the church warden had left to attend to other matters involving a bunch of young people at the other end taking selfies.
Thank God!
“Dara, we need a new plan. With the way this marriage is important to my grandma, I don’t think even Afam can end it; it would take something more, something like a miracle”, I whispered to my friend.
“Something like a pregnancy or someone’s death ba?” she whispered back with a grin.
“Don’t be crazy joor, this is serious”, I couldn’t help but smile though.
“I know and I am serious. If someone dies now ehn, her mind would be off this matter or if it happens that someone gets pregnant for Afam”, she said still sm-irking.
“Girl, I doubt the possibility of either of those happening”, I said with a grin.
However for the rest of ma-ss all I could think of was what if she was right.
What if a birth or a death was all I needed to be free right now?
*****
Ma-ss went by really fast but I did not notice, I did not even receive Holy Communion because I had somehow spent my time daydreaming. Of course, my siblings and Dara, who had started paying attention at some point, went and immediately the announcements began, Dara attacked me with her questions and outrageous theories.
“Meso, I know this matter has you all bothered but I have some ideas that might help”, she began in a whisper. Though I wondered why she was whispering, the MC’s microphone a-ssisted voice, combined with gisting youths and crying children around us literally made it impossible for any other person to hear her . My siblings were on their phones already.
“See ehn, I am so sure that if we dig into his past, there would be something deliciously scandalous enough for us to get him to agree to call off the wedding”, she said, a mischievous grin on her face.
“Ah! Dara that is called blackmail”, I pointed out.
“Ehen, see you o, is as if marriage is sweeting your body, aunty, you better wake up and think fast o. Anyhow sha, I am only doing my duty as a best friend but you can be rest a-ssured that if you do not do it, I will”, she said stubbornly and I sighed.
From experience, I knew she was not joking, she would actually go all CSI on the poor boy and she would know all his dirty laundry would be in her palm and if he messed up, then Lagos will hear it, Dara could be ruthless in her own scary way sha.
“See ehn, I think that is a little too much o”, I said and looked up when I heard them call a family up for thanksgiving.
“Babe, your crush’s family is going for thanksgiving o”, I said.
“Chai, that is nice o, but he is not around, the mumu just has to be in Abuja, imagine how weird it would look if I go for their family thanksgiving”, she grumbled and frowned.
I fought the urge to giggle, she has had a crush on this cute malo boy called Jamal for as long as I can remember and despite all her sa-ss and attitude she had never gotten around to letting him know, she literally becomes a mute around him. It is such an adorable something.
“Why don’t you still go na, at least your future in-laws will see you”, I suggested.
She grinned and shook her head.
“Nah, there are more important things at hand, my best friend has a marriage crises, the Danjuma’s do thanksgiving almost every month, I will go for another one and that time Jamal would be around”, she said confidently and I could not suppress my grin.
“Well, that attempt to distract me did not work, now what was I saying
. I am so sure that there is a girl out there who must have had a baby for him but she cannot speak up because she is afraid of your family, imagine how happy she would be if she knew that she had your support”, she said.
This girl haff craze finish sha.
“Dara, are you sure you are okay? What do you think that my support will do for the girl? That is even if such a girl exists. See ehn, grandma is the one with all the clout here, I have thought about this and decided that the only way this your plan will work is if the girl’s parents have mad power and prestige, remember than my grandma is seen as a freaing goddess in social circles, a vast majority of rich people cannot face her o”, I reminded her.
“Meso, I un-derstand. The problem now is even seeing if we would find a girl that is in such a fix, like how would we even get such information sef?” she asked.
“Shuo, you are asking me? Was that not what I asked you before? Plus, how is that the problem, I think the problem is that even when we find such a girl, she would be from a pretty regular family and then all our work would be in vain”, I said but Dara had made up her mind and she was not listening to me again.
“Believe me ehn, the girl wont be from a regualrt family o, from what I have heard about him, he balls with girls on the same level with him, like they usually have a frigging net worth, these girls are society queens, they have rich and influential parents, they are beautiful and they have mad influence themselves, so don’t worry”, she said confidently.
“Girl, have you been researching on him?” I just had to ask..
“Erm, yes na, for God’s sake, you come and tell me that you are engaged to this dude, the best I could do was see what kind of guy he was na, stop looking so shocked o jare”, she said but I could not stop looking shocked.
“Stand up for final blessings”, she whispered to me and I obliged.
My best friend had officially lost her mind but it was always her craziness that got us out of any mess we managed to get ourselves into since we were kids. I looked at her as she bowed her head in prayer and decided that just maybe, one more time; o could trust her with something this big.
“So, how do we get such vital information regarding Afam’s dirty business?” I asked her when the ma-ss had officially ended and people were going home.
“Well, there is a young man called Tobenna, I hear that he still likes you and he is Afam’s younger brother”, she said with a sm-irk.
Of course, I should have expected that.
Tbc…