LIFE OF PAINS
Episode 5
Preye: “Caribbean was soothing but I
have to go to school don’t I?” she was
sitting down, talking to her friend, Janet,
in the lecture hall, while they waited for
the lecturer who handled the clas-s.
Janet: “you bad o. you could not take
your friend along. I was in Lagos with
Chief Dube. The old he-goat.” She
frowned her pink, poutyl-ips in
annoyance at the memory.
Preye: “What? He didn’t pay well?” she
asked, laughing. Janet looked at her with
one eyebrow raised.
Janet: “If na money be d problem I no go
worry na. The old man wanted to fv¢k
me in the as-s.”
Preye laughed louder at this. Some
students trying to re-ad before the clas-s
turned to look at her in annoyance. She
looked at them calmly behind her dark
shades then turned back to Janet;
Preye: “so you give am your yansh?”
Janet nodded her head sadly. Preye bur-st
into another uproarious laughter. A
student behind her hissed and
murmured an insult. Preye turned to the
student,
Preye: “thank God say I no hear am o.
you go for tell me weda no b d same
school fees wey you dey pay na I dey
pay. You don pay your school fees sef?
See e goat face. Wit your go-wn wey be
like curtain wey dem use take do be-d
sheet. Abeg Janet tell me suntin joor. ”
she said, turning back to Janet.
Janet: “you too like wahala, Preye.” She
said laughing. Preye waved her hand in
dismissal.
Preye: “Motor$h!t. Abeg…so you allow
dat old d!¢k scatter you yansh?”
Janet: “Yes o. After everytin, he kon press
me 2,000 dolz” Janet replied quietly. She
smiled as Preye screamed.
Preye: “I cry.”
Janet: “I know say if I tell you, you go
holla.” She said, laughing.
Preye:” Abeg tell am say my yansh dey
available o. sweet Jesus, if e wan put e
full b!ow for inside sef, no yawa.” They
both laughed.
Preye: “that means na to turn up this
weekend o!” Janet nodded her head.
Preye: “hey… Doings go cry dis friday!
We go press spoil for everywhere…
Aaabeg.”
Janet laughed as the clas-s went quiet.
The lecturer had finally appeared. He
walked in and stood before the lectern.
Preye and Janet looked at each other and
smiled.
Preye: “who see am na go tink say na
beta person o. Like fv¢k pas-s air. If you
see the way e take fv¢k me that last
semester ehn. Weda e wan discover oil
for my pvzzy, I no know.” Preye
whispered. Janet chuckled.
Janet: “digging de-ep…” she said
laughing quietly.
Preye: “No be small digging de-ep. See as
e leg be. wit e d!¢k wey b like small pikin
head.” Janet laughed.
Janet: “Abeg Preye, e don do. Make e no
s£nd us out. My belle dey pain me. I no fit
laugh again.”
The lecturer walked to the board, wrote
a t©pic and started his lecture. Preye
stared out of the window, her mind
racing down familiar paths.
====
Abel was worried. He had not sle-pt well
since that day. He was losing weight.
Madam Amina had even questioned him
concerning his change. He smiled less
and ate less. To make matters worse,
Bimbo had become more attentive since
that day. She wi-nks at him, ru-bs his head
anytime she pas-sed him and laughs.
When he had reason to go to Auntie
Abigail’s place for supplies, she would
follow him and want to k!sshim. They
have had S-x one more time since that
day. He had agreed after she threatened
to tell her aunt that he had R@p£d her if
he refused her. She tells him that he is
her husband and that she wants to have
a baby for him.
He did not know what to make of it, he
was scared though. Madam no go happy
if she find out o. I no go fit loose dis job
o, he thought to himself as he watched
her, chop vegetables quietly. He sighed.
He had tried to talk to her, to find out
what happened that afternoon but she
has refused to talk about it. When he had
made reference to the b©yfri£ndthat she
supposedly had, she had only laughed.
What worried him the most was how he
had sle-pt off so fast? He was almost sure
that she had drugged him somehow.His
mind was so faraway that when madam
Amina called him, he ba-rely heard.
Madam Amina: “Abel o.” Abel raised his
head quic-kly, startled from his reverie.
Madam Amina: “we-tin dey do you sef?
abi you give girl belle?” Abel flin-ched. He
turned to look at Bimbo, who looked at
him briefly then went back to work.
He walked over to where Madam Amina
sat, selecting onions from a basket.
Madam Amina: “you never talk we-tin dey
do you o. you go come go market for
me. I wan make you help me carry
tomatoes and pepper come. Dem don
grind am alre-ady. Shey you know my
tomatoes customer shop?” Abel nodded
his head.
Madam Amina: “Ok. When you reach
there, you go buy dis tins dem join.” She
said, handing over a list of items to buy
and some money.
Abel took the money and piece of paper
and putting it in his pocket, walked out
of the buka. At the entrance to the
compound where the buka is situated,
he saw Collins. He was an old friend from
when he still lived with his parents at
Enerhen.
Collins: “Abel, ma brother. How far na?”
He was richly dressed. Designer shi-t,
jeans and leather sandals. He had a gold
wristwatch, gold chains on his n£¢k and
his ears were pierced.
Abel: “Collins, na you be dis?” they shook
hands and hvgged.
Collins: “Omo e don tey o. Na wen your
pale die na I see you last. Omo where
you hide since na? You just lock up for d
street. No be so o. I be your guy o.
what’s d level na?”
Abel: “broda when d bre-ad no dey, na to
humble na remain o. I dey hustle one
side wit one lady wey dey run buka here
o…”
Collins: “you dey work for buka?” he
asked, wrinkling his nose in distaste.
Collins: “Which kind roti jab be dat?
we-tin you dey do for buka? Dey cut
firewood, dey fetch water? You dey fv¢k
up. see I go gi you line later unto confirm
hustle. No be dis lakpa lakpa hustle wey
you dey so. How much she dey pay you?”
Abel: “Collins, dis woman don try for me
o. na she dey gi me food, na her house I
dey sleep. Abeg I no fit shout o.”
Collins: “you be mumu. You dey talk like
say you be woman. I wan come carry my
car from mechanic. Gi me your number?”
he said bringing out a phone.
Abel stood with his mouth open. Collins
don dey drive? E get car? Which kind
hustle, e dey do so? Hmmm na wa o,
Collins?
Collins: “close your mat. No worry when I
gi you d line, you go forget dis dirty
work wey you dey do so. Gi me your
number.”
Abel: “I no get phone o. my madam say
she go buy for me sha. Gi me your own
number, I go fine way take call you.”
Collins: “come make we go my car. Paper
and biro go dey dere.” He said, looking
at Abel in irritation.
When they got to the mechanic, Abel was
shocked to see that Collins, his age mate,
with no university education, owned a
Ranger Rover Sport. He looked at the car,
then looked at Collins, who had a self-
satisfied smile on his face. He basically
purred like a cat that had a bowl of milk
right before it.
Abel: “Na your car be dis?” he asked in
shock. Collins nodded, as he opened the
door, bent inside then c@m£ out with a
pen and a diary. He wrote his number
down, to-re it and gave it to Abel. Abel
took it, re-ad it and tucked it inside his
trou-ser pocket.
Collins: “call me o. make we align. Money
dey d street o. you just dey dull for dat
place wey you dey so.” He told him as he
returned the pen and diary back into the
pigeon hole of his car.
Abel looked at the car and at Collins. He
nodded his head.
Abel: “no worry, I go call you. Make I
hurry, my madam s£nd me message.” He
replied, distractedly.
Collins: “I for carry you but d mechanic
never finish. Make we reason later o. no
dull o.”
Abel: “no wahala. I go call you. Make I
march.” They shook hands and Abel
turned and walked off.
Collins stared at him as he was walking
away. Ha Abel…you too like sufa. See as
you be? Come make I show you life,
Collins smiled to himself and turned to
the mechanic.
====
Bimbo sat down after chopping the
vegetables. She stared at her small
handbag quietly for some minutes. She
looked about. No one was close by. She
got up and opened the bag, she brou-ght
out a folded sl!pof paper. She opened it
and re-ad it quietly. She closed it and
turned to return it back to her bag. Her
aunt was standing before her, hands
stretched towards her
Madam Amina: “Let me see.”
Question: What is inside the paper? Will
Abel take Collins’ offer?
Episode 6
.
The weekend was as crazy as was
promised. Her head was testifying to the
fact. She was hungover and it hurt. She
tried to sit up on the be-d but fell back.
The pain was unbearable. Who put on
the light, it hurts. She closed her eyes
and placed a pillow over her head.
A door opened and someone walked in,
climbe-d on the be-d and then a hand
cu-mpped her br£@st and tweaked at her
n!ppl!s. She opened an eye and squinted
at the strange face staring at her.
Preye: “Who the fv¢k are you? And why
are you pla-ying with my n!ppl!?” the
strange guy raised an eyebrow and
smiled.
Stranger: “well you guys were really
drun!kyesterday, so I can un-derstand
why you don’t remember I and my
friends giving you a lift last night.”
Preye: “so? Because you gave me a lift,
does that give you the right to t©uçh my
brea-st.” The man laughed.
Stranger: “babe you literally to-re my
clothes off me last night. You fv¢ked four
guys. You and your friend, Janet. It was
crazy. The best night out I have had in a
while.” Preye’s eyes were wi-de open as
well as her mouth. The headache had
disappeared. The guy laughed again and
kept on tweaking the n!ppl!.
Preye: “damn. I was fv¢ked up last night.
Jeez. Hope you guys used c0nd0ms?” the
strange guy nodded. She nodded and
closed her eyes. The headache was back.
Preye: “what is your name?”
Steve: “my name is Steve. Told you last
night.” Preye sighed.
Preye: “whatever Steve. Can I get a
painkiller? My head’s like the location for
a Rock band conference right now.”
Steve got up from her, giving her n!ppl!
a painful bite with his teeth. She j£rked
in shock, opened her eyes to look at him.
The dolt was smiling.
Steve got up and walked out of the
room. She sighed again. Four guys
between I and Janet. Damn. My pvzzyis
gone to the dogs. Lawd have mercy.
Preye you don cast. She thought and
chuckled. Where dat ashawo even dey
sef? She thought, trying to get up again.
She fell back on the be-d. I nee-d a pick me
up men. This is going to be a horrid day.
Damn!
The door opened again and Janet
staggered in. her br@zilian weave was in
disarray. She looked like an escaped
witch who the coven rejected. Preye
tried to laugh but the headache wouldn’t
let her.
Janet: “Ashawo. See your life.”
Preye: “your very papa. Ashawo like you.
I know say you still dey fv¢k dis morning
o? e no ha-rd you do.”
Janet: “babe if you see these guys d!¢k
sha. My pvzzydon change location as I
dey talk to you so. I wake up meet one
still dey sweat on t©p of me. Pack oil full
everywhere.”
Preye: “digging de-ep” they both tried to
laugh but the headache was like an iron
band around their heads.
As they talked, Steve c@m£ in with the
painkiller and a glas-s of water. He smiled
at Janet and gave the pills to Preye. She
drank them and la-id her head back.
Steve: “am in love with your friend.” He
said looking at Janet.
Janet peered at him from un-der her
disheveled hair. She turned to Preye,
then chuckled.
Janet: “you are in love with a girl you
met last night? A drun!kgirl that you and
three of your friends fv¢ked all throu-gh
the night? fv¢ked her as-s, fv¢ked her
mouth and basically turned into a
fv¢ktoy?” she asked in feigned disbelief.
Steve: “Yes. She is a beautiful woman. I
will like to know her better…” a phone
rang.
It was Janet’s phone. It was a friend and
course mate, Kelvin. He helped them with
as-signments, tests, and other school
stuff.
Janet: “Kev, how far now?”
Kelvin: “where una dey? We get test by
9:00 today. Begin come dep@rtment
now.”
Janet: “chillax Kev. Which lecturer be
dat?”
Kelvin: “Na Professor Okafor o. dem no
dey block dat one o”
Janet jumped off the be-d and tapped
Preye.
Janet: “oya make we dey go. Prof Okafor
get test by 9:00 this morning.” Preye
immediately c@m£ awake. They both
rushed off the be-d and started getting
dressed.
The other guys c@m£ to see them off as
they got into Preye’s car. Preye gave her
number to Steve.
Janet: “next time guys, it aint gonna be
free. “She laughed, waved at them and
got into the car.
The guys watched the Rav4 swerve unto
the main road. They stood silent for a
while and then they bur-st out laughing
and sl@pping each other on the back.
====
The room was silent. Bimbo and Madam
Amina were seated in the sto-re at
Abigail’s place. Bags of garri, rice and
beans littered the place. Yam, plantain
were also arranged all over the place.
The paper was in madam Amina’s hand
Madam Amina: “I ask you question. Who
give you belle?
Bimbo: “Aunty no worry, I go handle d
mata.” Bimbo recoiled as madam
Amina’s palm left a scorching sl@p on her
face.
Madam Amina: “dat na we-tin I ask you?”
Bimbo held her cheek in shock. Her aunt
never raise hand hit anyb©dy before o.
kai, I don fv¢k up.
Bimbo: “Na Abel.”
Madam Amina looked at her niece in
anger. Abel! na lie… Abel… She
disappoint me dis girl. we-tin I go tell her
mama now? Which kain wahala be dis?
She got up and properly tied her
wra-pper. She picked her purse that is
always by her. She looked throu-gh and
nodded her head, then she turned to
Bimbo, who was looking at her in
puzzlement.
Madam Amina: “Oya, we are going to do
test. Make we know how many months,
d pikin don dey your belle. Oya”
Bimbo swallowed. Walahi I don enter,
she thought. She got up and followed
her aunt out of the sto-re.
At the buka, Madam Amina asked Kabiru
if Abel was back, he said no. she told him
to watch the buka. She was rushing out
with Bimbo to check up something. They
both left quic-kly.
====
Abel sat in the keke, his mind far away.
He ba-rely noticed the scenes that flashed
past as the keke sped back to the buka.
See small Collins of dat year, dey drive. Na
wa o. dis life sha. Well I go try go see am
sha. Maybe e line fit make s-en-se. He
sighed and stared on into space.
Keke driver: “Oga where you dey st©p?”
Abel arou-sedfrom his de-ep thoughts.
Abel: “for Deco junction dere.”
The Keke driver pu-ll-ed up at the junction.
Abel got down from the keke and
started offloading the things he bought
alongside the gallons of pepper and
tomatoes grounded to paste. One of the
girls who served in the buka c@m£ to
help him carry the things inside.
Kabiru was eating at the back, when he
got there.
Abel: “Kabiru, howfar? I dey hungry o.”
Kabiru: “Hey Abel, you don come? Yes o.
your own dey your cooler for inside.”
Abel went inside, picked up his cooler
and c@m£ back to join Kabiru at the back.
They eat in silence for some minutes. As
they eat, Abel observed that Madam
Amina and Bimbo were not around. He
finished and went to wash his cooler
and keep it. He c@m£ back, spre-ad a torn
sack on the ground and la-id back to
sleep. Kabiru looked at him, he opened
his mouth to speak, and then he
changed his mind and went back to
picking his teeth and watching a n-ked
mad woman walk along the road in the
blistering heat.
====
Abel dreamt. He dreamt he sat behind
the wheel of a white Ranger Rover Sport.
He could see his wristwatch glittering on
his wrist. Loud music was ban-ging out
of the car speakers. He was speeding
down a highway, people were waving at
him. Someb©dy tapped him from behind,
he turned, and it was Kabiru. His face
was excited and he, Abel, was on the
floor, not on the leather seat of a Range
Rover Spert car. He gro-an ed. He had
managed to roll off the sack unto ba-re
rocky ground.
AbeL: “Kabiru we-tin? I been dey enjoy
my sleep.”
Kabiru: “Omo big tin don happen o. you
know say when you comot, madam
come beat Bimbo?”
Abel immediately sat up. His heart
clutched at his che-st in fear.
Abel: “why?” Kabiru smiled.
Kabiru: “e be like say she done get belle.
Funke say she hear am dey ask am say
who be d papa.”
Abel: “she talk?” fear gripping his heart.
Kabiru: “no o. according to Funke, she
did not o. dey have go do test.”
Abel stood up, looked at Kabiru and
walked away.
Kabiru: “where you dey go. I dey tell you
serious mata you dey waka dey go?”
Abel’s heart beat ra-pidly as he got his
things together. Hey, dis girl don kill me.
we-tin I do am? I know say na drug she
drug me take sleep with me d first time
but which excuse I go give for d second
time? Madam Amina go believe say
Bimbo dey treaten me? He got a piece of
paper and wrote a s£ntence on it and
placed it on the table. He felt tears sli-p
down his eyes.
he felt like he had betrayed a trust. He
c@m£ out of the house, locked the door
and hid the key where it is kept. He
carried his small bag, walked to a phone
booth and dialed Collins’ number. They
spoke then he hung up. He st©pped a
pas-sing okada man. He hoped on and
they rode off.
Question: Will Madam Amina blame Abel
for Bimbo’s pregnancy? Will Collins’ offer
be a better choice for Abel? How can someone in preye’s condition ever recover to become a better person?
Tbc