JESSICA??
(My story of faith and pain)
Episode 10.
©Miriam Edem
I stayed outside the public bathroom and almost ran mad with whoever that was inside that took forever to come out. I heard about 3 ladies inside laughing and discussing as if they were in their room and I wondered what exactly they were doing with the sounds that came out from the bathroom.
“Please its 20 minutes already and I have a place to go, I said knocking on the door again.
“Jessica what is it? If you can’t wait then bath outside! One shouted inside.
“Are you okay? Enough of all this nonse-nse, in short the landlord will hear about this! Are you girls delivering a child in there? Can’t you do that in your room why a place everyone paid for! I shouted back very angry.
“Please let’s go before the little girl swears for us, one of the girls said inside as I leaned on the wall wishing there was a way I can just wash my face and legs, but my condition nee-ds me to bath 3 times a day to avoid bo-dy odour.
Finally they came out and hissed at me as they p@$$ed but I just got in without wasting time because they were not my problem.
I rushed out and met Sandra waiting outside for me,
“I don’t un-derstand, is the bathroom in the other street? Sandra asked but my anger was still visible. I just got in and began to prepare seeing it was almost time and we hurriedly left the house carrying the products.
We saw an empty cab and stopped which I told the driver the address and he quickly gave me his charge and I hopped in because there was no time. After some minutes i noticed the driver kept looking at us with the mirror there but I ignored and thought about the mat at home I was not able to air, looks like I’ll have sleep on the floor that night.
“What are you girls going there for? The young guy finally asked us.
“To deliver something, I replied and he kept quiet and the man called.
“Hello sir am on my way, I picked up.
“I told you 9a.m, he coldly said.
“I know but something came up, i said and he dropped the call.
“He dropped the call o, is he angry or something? I asked Sandra.
“Hiannn he should take things easy o, she said.
“What do you want to deliver? Sorry am interfering with your business, the driver came in again.
“Abeg is the place still far? I asked ignoring his question.
“We’ll be there in the next 10 minutes, he replied.
“Ahhhhh! E far like that ni and he no tell us? Sandra asked.
“That’s why am asking what you want to deliver, that area is bad. I only agreed to drive you girls there because I haven’t carried any p@$$enger, he said and Sandra looked at me.
“You say the place is bad and you’re still driving us? Why you no tell us since? I asked.
“I think say Una sabi where you dey go na, he replied and Sandra got my phone and showed him the message the man se-nt.
“You sure say na this place so? Abeg look am well, Sandra said.
“Make Una no fear, no be all the area bad sha don’t worry, he replied but my blood pressure was already high. Chin chin cannot come and kill Jessica in another man land when I came for school.
I just sat there at the back and the driver began to sing some worship songs as he drove very free and I remembered those times in church. Ever since my mother died I haven’t even by mistake stepped into a church nor tou-ched the Bible or even opened my mouth to say a prayer or sang any song.
The man called again and I quickly asked the driver where we are which he told me and I told him,
“Are you stupid! I gave you a direction to follow why did you take that path! Was what I heard on phone and it shocked me.
“How is that my fault? The driver was the one who took that path because he knows better, I replied.
“You have to go back to how I directed you because am waiting, the driver can’t know more than I do okay, he said and dropped the call and I looked at Sandra mouth opened.
“What direction did he give sef? The driver asked and read the direction carefully and immediately parked the car.
“Fuel don finish? Sandra asked.
“No, I’ll advice you girls not to go. Do you even know this person? The driver asked and I looked at Sandra.
“No o, we just had a call from him to come and deliver chin chin, Sandra replied rather.
“That’s what they do now to lure girls into that area and sometimes its people that you even know very well that will link you up to them giving them your every details. Next time before you go out to deliver be sure of the person and the area, the driver said and I was so weak. I didn’t know how to start the cry after the sleepless night and stress,
“Thank you, thank you so much, I said and sniffed controlling my tears.
“Its okay, I’ll drive you back then and don’t worry about the money, the driver said.
“Ahh God bless you, Sandra said and he drove off. He dropped us where he carried us and handed us a tract inviting us to his church the next day which was Sunday. I just collected it with no thought of visiting because my heart was heavy.
When I got home I just la-id on the floor sadly looking at the ru-bbers of chin chin after I blocked the line immediately from calling me.
“Jessica its okay, you’ll still sell them na, Sandra said.
“What if we arrived there? What would have happened to us? Is it a crime I chose to hustle rather than depend on people for survival? Who wanted to do such a thing to me? I asked with tears streaming down my face.
“Its okay, we should be thankful to God that he brou-ght someone our way who stopped us just in time, and why is it that I don’t know that area? Wait let me call one waka waka guy I know, Sandra said and called a guy up and after few minutes of discussing she pla-yfully asked if he knows the area.
“Kind of sha, though about two girls like that was reported missing in that area when they entered and you know Nigeria na, the matter was swept un-der the Carpet and they were never found. we-tin wan carry you go there sef? The guy asked and Sandra shouted and told him just what we escaped.
“Thank your God o, so you mean say for evening I fit buy you like suya chop without knowing, the guy said.
“God forbid! You’ll eat your head as suya which kind talk be that one? Sandra angrily said and I was not interested in the conversation anymore but covered my head on my knees as I sat on the floor.
Did God just came throu-ghfor him or did it just happened by chance? I asked and looked at the tract and remembered that fateful morning I begged God for something I treasured most but he could not do it for me.
Sandra later left after helping me turn the ru-bbers of chin chin into retail and took some that she will sell to her hostel mates.
Seeing her leave the house got me so relieved as I quickly took my mat outside and yawned still feeling sleepy but the tract on my reading table kept staring at me where I kept it just when I wanted resting my head on the table to sleep.
I saw myself crying after I was done reading, it was just talking to me and I got a line from it,
“No matter how you’ve been crushed, it doesnt matter how many times you’ve fallen, it cant change the fact that you’re created in the image of God and that makes you very important because you have a worth. God loves you so much and you’re very valuable to him because you are priceless”
I placed my head on the table crying more than when my mother died. I hated myself for the words I said and the decision I made out of anger against God, and just there I told myself I am going back to church no matter what.
The next day I found myself in the church and felt home again. This time around I had no expectation in my heart at all, I just wanted to serve him again.
I and Tunde (the driver) became very close as I became a member in his church. I also joined a Christian family also in campus to back me up, and boom the semester was over and it ended in praise. I called my father and told him I’ll be coming home but as usual he gave me a cold reply, I didn’t bother and in two days time I arrived safely.
I was happy to see Cyril and my neighbors just kept shouting that I was adding weight which I was not seeing sef when I sle-pt and dined with stress throu-ghout the semester.
My grandma and principal gave me a warm welcome and that was when I knew my father will be getting married in the next 2 weeks to the lady that almost burnt the house. He never told me and no one did also probably they thought it will make me sad or distracted in school.
“Okay, that’s good to hear, I told my principal not worried at all.
“Jessica you’ve changed o, what happened to you? My grandma asked and I laughed.
“Mama can I stop him from getting married? He has even tried sef to wait for such a long time and soon my mother will be a year old after she died so please let him go ahead, I replied.
“She’s now a big girl, look at her talking matured now, my principal said and I smiled.
I got home and asked my father if there’s anything I can help concerning the wedding plans and he just looked at me and shook his head,
“If you want to pick a fight now please start going to your house because I don’t have the strength for it, he said.
“but daddy I want to help you, I don’t have a problem with you getting married, I said..
“Thank you Jessica but I don’t nee-d your help, now leave me alone, he said.
“I thought me leaving for some months will kind of change some things but you’re still ha-rdened. Can you stop now already? I asked tired with his attitude no matter how I try to go close to him.
“Jessica this won’t work out okay, I don’t have any problem with you, he said.
“But you know that’s not true, if I’ve done anything to you please let me know and I’ll apologize, I sincerely said and he looked at Me and shook his head.
“Oh Jessica my dear, apologizing won’t change anything o, it can’t change anything because you just came out from no where and changed my life, he said.
“Daddy I don’t un-derstand, what exactly did I do? I asked very interested and he smiled.
“I always wanted to be a Reverend father, it was something I dreamt of since when I was a boy and I worked so ha-rd for it making sure I succeed. I was almost there…. In fact I was just there when your mother pushed and se-nt by the kingdom of darkness came into my eyes and just one fall gbam she got pregnant. Aunty remove pikin na I don’t want because problem until everyone knew about it and my dream became crashed when I got rejected. Everyone was so disappointed I missed it and I still hate myself that I missed it, he narrated and I could not believe it.
For the first time I saw my father saying the truth and I now un-derstand why he despises I and mother so much because we ruined his plans.
“Its sad daddy, but I thought babies happen when matured people has s-x, why put the blame on me because you couldn’t kill me so you can become your reverend father? What if its God plan because he has something better for me and you? I asked him and he laughed.
‘Oh Jessica you returned back as a comedian, so God plan was to give me a daughter that still pees at 17 huh? Say whatever you want, It can’t change the fact that you were a big mistake and it can never be God plan. When did God become an author of confusion?, my father asked and stood up for his room and I breathed out so speechless.
TBc