She stood there her big round eyes deeply gazing at me. She showed no emotion at all, it was like she was piercing every part of my naked body. I stood there watching her in silence, her legs folded up and hiding her precious parts. I dared not touch her, not that I had enough of her but the fact that everything about her just got me amazed. Her dark smooth skin, I could almost hear the Zambian song about a woman who used to bath in milk. She didn’t move either and awkwardly for a good 5 minutes watched each other.
“You are…” we spoke at the same time and she chuckled nodding for me to go ahead
“Are beautiful, every time I look at you, I feel fulfilled, every part of your body juts gets my body on the edge and I don’t believe it’s me feeling this way..” I smiled still standing at the same point.
“Well, I was going to say you are huge” she let a laugh making me laugh so hard I had to fall on the bed near her. She was crazy like that, always found something fun to say and it got me all the time. I could not tell whether the joke was real or she was being truthful. My heart was racing so fast as I felt her heartbeat in my back. She wrapped her warm body around me and planted her lips in my shoulder blowing her warm air on the spot she just made wet and I could not contain myself. She was getting me hard and I knew any more minute around her would get me late for work
“I got to go” I sprang out of bed with a deep sigh. It was her turn to laugh. She took a few seconds laughing at how I was running away from her as I grabbed my towel to go and take a bath
“what?” I asked, bending and blushing my lips on hers.
“I love you” she said without hesitation
“Hmm really? How do you know that?” I asked standing straight she moved and knelt on the edge of the bed holding my waist
“Do you love me Joe?” she asked without answering my question
“Of course babe, why do you ask? “ I made a face. Well, call me a coward but that was the first year of our dating and I never in a day told Alisha I loved her direct of unless she told me first and I would simply sayI love you too. Little did I know it was a big deal for her. She wanted me to say it all the time, she wanted me to start the words and whisper to her, I loved her.
“why is it you never say it, unless I start?’ she asked and I had no proper answer. I loved the woman before me with every vein in me. She was everything but I thought I could do more by acting on it than saying it all the time. She was there with me and that is what mattered. She was the love of my life and I hoped she could see that from all my gestures both little and huge ones.
“Babe, it`s not important that I say the words all the time, I mean, you know I love you right?” I asked.
My phone rung at that point and she shook her head..
“Go and answer it Joe” she smiled her weak smile and went back in the sheets. I just got a call from my boss wanting me to go for work early. Apparently we had an early case to deal with. Being a Police officer was not always my plan growing up, but my father who had now retired from active service did all he could in his power to make sure I went for the same.
“Babe, I got go, duty calls” I smiled at her and rushed in the bathroom taking a quick bath and heading out in a rush.
The priest looked at me as I wiped tears from my eyes, he had not said a word as I narrated my memory with Alisha. He just smiled and stood up with a sigh
“You realize you have not said anything else to me about what brought you here for the last couple of days apart from the love and times you had with this Alisha woman?” he asked pouring some wine in glass and handing me one. I looked at the bottle and got a little disappointed seeing it was alcohol free. He had made me drink that the days we spent together.
“Don`t you have mass or something?’ I asked to try cut him short. I didn’t want to get to the whole story yet less, he chased me out his monastery before I was ready to go out there and face what awaited me.
“Oh yeah, will you come with Me.?” He asked placing the wine on the table.
“No!” I sharply responded and he shrugged walking out. I stood by the window watching as other Priests, walked towards the chapel. But Father Tom drove out in his white Nissan Van I assumed he was the one conducting mas at a church about 3 km away from the monastery as he told me. I sighed and wiped my face allowing myself to calm down the emotions I was feeling from the story I as just telling him about Alisha.
I decided to switch on the TV and the news on it made me regret it. My picture was on the screen and a fee attached to it for anyone who will inform the police about my whereabouts, I was being called a dangerous armed murderer and caution was to be taken by anyone I would come across. I switched off the TV angrily and hit my palm and bit my lips making a painful dent in my lower lip I felt the impact as I let it go. Holding my lips, I touched the sore part and looked at my forefinger, there was blood.
“Am damned” I whispered to myself. From the day Father took me in, was confided to the room. He told me a few others were aware of my presence but he didn’t give details of what I had told him. I was sort of isolated from everyone so I could not get in their way. I was okay the past couple of days but now with everything on the news about me, I started doubting how long I had before any of the Monks sold me off to the cops, not sure they were interested in the money but I was sure the thing of righteousness and justice really was important.
I started feeling myself panic at such thoughts. In an instant I started looking for my clothes. I had to get out. I found my clothes well ironed and placed in one of the wardrobes and I got my shoes too. I was about to walk to the door when I realized my wallet was missing. I looked for it all round but nothing, then it downed, “The Priest has taken it away.” I sat down defeated.
Well it was a very good way of keeping me around., but I vowed not to stay any longer, I was given shelter and food, even clothing’s but I felt I had to leave, the more I stayed within town, the more danger I was going to be in. I had to find a way and hide from my past and try find purpose elsewhere.
“Hi man” I made a call to the only person I felt I could trust.
“Hey, who is this? “I heard Charles respond. I could hear back ground noise, I knew he was at work.
“Joe here” I responded
“What the Hell! … Joe man do you have any idea what you have done? The cops are all over looking for you, what were you thinking?” he asked me in whisper I could bet they were people near him he didn’t want them to know it was me calling him.
“I know I messed up man, but it was self-defense I swear, the fool was abusing her. She called for my help and “the line went dead and I removed the phone to check if I was still connected.
“Dammit!’ I screamed angrily. I tried to dial the line again but nothing, I could not go through. I had no idea what went on the other side. I had to wait for another time.
‘Probably his battery is dead” I told myself sitting down and looking about nervously.
I shut my eyes and tried to pull back the memories that soothed my painful heart.
I returned from work one day and she was standing by the door way waiting for me.
‘Hey babe!’ I got out of my car and walked to her. She opened her arms to receive me her gorgeous smile ever wide for me.
‘I missed you” she said allowing me to catch her as she threw herself at me before I could get any closer
“Well, who knew angels exist, I was just thinking about you on my way back and here you are” I smiled holding her face and planting a deep kiss on her mouth.
“Is that..?” I stopped loving the freshness of her mouth.
“Yes your favorite gum,” she brew in my face.
“So tell me, how was your day?” she asked as we sat down in the living room
“Your brother made my day hell, that man is a workaholic, my God he never gets tired” I laughed leaning back and she lay her head on my chest
“Tell me about it” she laughed too
“We should get him a girl, what do you think?” I teased
“He has a girl Babe.. My brother has always been like that, I guess he takes it from my father, always working we barely saw him home. But don’t worry, he is a good man”
“A sadist, that is what your brother is babe, everyone at work knows that.. I don`t know why he allowed me to date you. I swear every time I would come to your house, I could almost die wanting to just have chat with you, I was so scared of that man”
“You got me lover boy, here I am” she smiled
“Hmm, I got you, and I don’t care what he is, my boss or friend, I will blow off his head off he messes with you” I laughed and she shook her head picking the remote control for the TV.
“So am here to stay with you” she announced unexpectedly
“What?” I asked sitting up
“What? You don’t want me here?” she asked her facial expression going down
“No, babe, you know I would give anything to be with you, but.. Your school, and your brother? Your parents and all.. I don’t think it’s a good idea.” I told her as a matter of fact.
“I know, but I can’t stay with James anymore, he is too controlling babe, my parents have come up with this outrageous plan about me when I complete my university studies and I don`t think I want that, I want to choose my own life babe and I will not be forced to do things in don’t want” she shrugged sadly
“Alisha, what is going on? What did you parents say?’ I asked worried at the look on her face
“You don’t want to know, don’t worry though, am not going to do it” she tried to smile to assure me
“Tell me what they said, am a big boy I can handle it’ I tried to persuade her but she wouldn’t say a word to me. All she said was everything was going to be okay, she would fight for our love and make sure her parent`s plans would not turn out as hers. I wanted to know what it was but I could not get it out of her so I let it go. I asked her the following morning not to stay with me though
“Babe, you can’t stay here” I sat up looking at her as she was half asleep
“Hmm I am babe” she muttered without opening her eyes to face me
“No you can`t” I said again this time making her open her eyes
“What now?’ she looked upset
“To start with, your brother will know you are here if you are trying to move out of his house. Secondly, I need to know what is going that got you move out of your brother`s house and that which your parents want you to do., so yeah, you cannot stay here”
“Joe, don’t tell me you cannot handle James.. He is an idiot, a controlling bastard but you can handle him” she responded with an angry face
“He is your brother and he is a senior officer babe, I work under his command and I cannot afford to start a war with him.. Please understand, I want you here but not like this” I told her holding her hands together and looking her into her eyes.
“Well, I will leave, but am not going back to his house, neither am In going to my parent`s” she shrugged
“But bab…” I could not state my next words and she threw me down the bed and started caressing my torso I felt sharp desires shoot in my body. She knew she got me and I become like a lap dog following her orders. She made everything worthwhile and I even forgot what our argument was about.
“Go for work, am staying here this weekend until I figure out where to go” she smiled leaving me watching her in bed like an idiot. There was nothing in my head to think one day I would end up in a monastery because of the love of a woman.
At the time, everything was so heavenly I would not in a second think of any pain to come out of our love story. I sighed looking at the wall clock, it was a few minutes past 17 and I was sure Father Tom would be back from his mass. I stood by the window waiting to see him drive in but minutes then hours passed he did not show up. I started wondering where he was, he didn’t tell me he will be gone that long. He mentioned mass would end after an hour but now it was 3 hours later, he was nowhere to be seen. I had to find out where the hell he was, he was holding my passport out of the place, all my money and cards were in the wallet and I was crippled without it.
The April weather felt chilled on my skin as I walked about the buildings trying to find where I could find someone to ask about Father Tom. It was silent all around I wondered how the Monks lived in such a silent place, in a couple of days it was already getting my head crazy. The silence was too much for me to handle and now that I can to find someone to talk to. Forgetting all the rules of Father Tom to keep inside for the time being
I opened the door to a room I could hear small voices and I stopped in shock. I was standing in a wide room filled with Monks dressed in their gray and brown gowns. They all turned at once to face the intruder as the door banged open. I could see one of them in the front I had no idea what they were doing. I felt my legs go weak. The men`s eyes in that room looked at me with blank stares I had no idea what they were thinking about me. A 6 feet tall man dressed in black jeans and a green t-shirt finished off with black loafers with gray shoes laces on my feet, I could practically see them studying me like I was some kind of teaching aid.
‘Hi everyone!’ I heard my wimp come out of my mouth I had to clear my throat a couple of times.
“Hi” they all responded like they were in some kind of choir.
“Um, am.. Sorry for disturbing.. I …. Sorry, I was looking for Father Tom” I managed to say at last as they all looked at me without a word.
“Is he …? Um..” I stammered getting a numb feeling in my hands I have never been so ashamed in my life.
“He is not yet back.. And who are you?” the man standing in front asked, he was a white man standing firmly in his brown robes.
‘Um, okay, I will just wait for him. Again, sorry for disturbing, I will leave now” I stammered raising my hand and walking out faster than in came in without telling him who I was. I walked past the small office and headed to my room in long strands and my heart on heat. Leaning on the back of the door closed my eyes and sighed deeply
“Thank God I was not in hell being judged for me sins” I spoke loudly my eyes still closed.
‘Oh maybe you were” the voice came from the dark room making me jump in fright. The owner of the voice burst out laughing I had to hold myself to make sure it was a human being.
‘Father Tom!’’ I sighed when the lights flipped on and exposed the figure of the man I was looking for.
“You came back?” I said more of a statement than a question
“They.. I was.. They were looking at me like.. I “ I failed to say what I was thinking as I sat down next to the priest
‘I told you not to go out, now I have no option but to tell everyone who you are. Well, that is after you tell me why you are here” he shrugged casually
“What?” I asked sitting up, knowing now I was in danger.
“Yeah Joseph, I think its high time you told me what on earth you are running away from and whom you killed and why.. it’s been two days and I cannot wait to hear it
“I can’t” I responded without thinking through it
“Why not?” he asked curious at my change of heart
“The cops have put a price on my head for anyone who will tell them about my whereabouts and now that those guys in there know am here, the cops will probably be here soon and I can’t go to jail” I responded
“I need my wallet Father, I got to go, thank you for what you have done for me but I got to go” I added seriously he shook his head.
‘There is another way” he stood up his hands in the pockets. I looked at him, he was a shoulder shorter than me so I had to bend my head a bit since he came so close
‘What?’ I asked
“Tell me what you did in confession, I have sworn to never reveal anything said in confession so the cops will never find out, at least not from me.” He smiled
“I can’t, the others have seen me and …’ I shook my head
“Let me worry about others, I know if you had somewhere to go you could have gone already. Let me help you find your way. please stay, at least until the end of the week and try to put your life right with God, he brought you here for a purpose and I feel it in me, you need this” he spoke I could feel his tenderness and love as he spoke. I sat down defeated, he was right I had nowhere else planned to go, I could use a week to figure that out.
“Am not promising to become a Monk like all of you Priests, I love women” I let a laugh
‘I know” he shrugged and walked out leaving me to my thoughts…