Early Days Of My Life – Episode 9

Friend: l£sb!anism is the S#xual act between girls, an example is the type you saw yesterday where two girls were doing that thing you told me you saw.
Me: hmm hmmm
Friend: some girls believe only in l£sb!anism why some are into biS-xual act as in they’ll do girls and guys together.
Me: olorun mi o(oh my God)
Friend: some girls can handle three guys at a time that they’ll be F***ed by the three guys at the same time, that one is called p@rty.
Me: choi!
Friend: and some girls f!nger themselves by digging their hand or f!ngersinside their vir-gina like a J0yst!ck does in them if they aren’t satisfied.
Me: that one is called handsome bha?
Friend: thun-der fire you! Handsome for where?
Me: since you said se-x with three people at a time is p@rty, I then think se-x with f!nger/hand is handsome.
Friend: you’re too pla-yful fawaz.
Me: I’m sorry o.
Friend: anyway, do you know some have se-x with animals?
Me: ah ah! This one na lie! Don’t tell me nons-en-se o.
Friend: I’m serious..
Me: eh, life don spoil o. Abajo ti won fi n ko HIV (no wonder why they got infected with HIV)
Friend: all for them to get satisfied.
Me: (prostrated in front of my friend) you be wole soyinka family true true.
Friend: (laughing) I told you before na.
Me: (standing up) I salute you. But how do u know all this?
Friend: you know, my primary education made me un-derstand all this to the fullest.
Me: I can’t lie o, my thought was that our dads sleep on our mums and they will get pregnant, mi n mo pe oun to shi n be leyin efa, oju eje lo.
(I don’t know that the figures behind six is much more than seven)
Friend: abajo ti ofi n sunkun nigbati mum e mu e wa si school. (No wonder why you were crying when your mum brou-ght you to school)
Me: oya tell me about se-x life and you yourself!
Freind: that will be a story for another day. And don’t forget that tomorrow is another day.Me: thanks sha, but how can human being have se-x with animals?
Friend: wo! Forget. And don’t forget to bring an extra cloth with you to school tomorrow.
Me: for what?
Friend: you don’t want to see dammy again tomorrow?
Me: I forgot, I will.
Friend: no yaawa.
We didn’t even know that it was dark alre-ady as we set out of the clas-s room we were. We haven’t taken more than three legs when we heard something.


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